#newtarotreader

I did three readings on myself tonight, all readings moved me very deeply, so I thought I would share what each card means and my relations behind each.

I start my readings by  thinking of a question/ topic then shuffling the deck until, I deem done. I can usually tell when I am done shuffling the deck because it becomes slightly hard to breathe, and I can feel the deck absorbing my energy through my hands. I then split the deck ( usually by the first card I see or feel) and put the top half on the bottom. I then select my PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE cards.

My First topic was Job/Work:

PAST: Prince of Cups- Seeking understanding, hoping for new relationship, desire, seeking spiritual wisdom.

PRESENT: XIII. Death- Transition, Transforming, Metamorphosis, letting go of old-self, slow decay, taking on new forms or ways of life, ushering change.

FUTURE: 9 of Pentacles- Self-made woman, self-employment and independent business, being in the moment, enjoying fruits of labor, fullness, guaranteed success, confidence in your own work without need to rely on others. 

My personal relations to each card:

Past- My last job, I felt like I needed to be the best I could be in order to set up my working future, I desired to learn and create a positive environment for myself and others around me. 

Present- Currently without a job, I was screwed over at my last job in the end. So I had decided to move on and try to start looking for a job I the career that I started school for. To become a teacher. 

Future- This card really makes me hopeful that my thoughts of pursuing my career will be beneficial for me in the long run. I actually plan on opening my own school in either Waldorf or Emilio Reggio learning. I plan on helping children learn and expand their thoughts of the world around them, and to create critical thinkers to help evolve the ever changing world. 

My Second Topic was this term of School:

PAST- XI. Justice: Balance, adjustments, equilibrium, centre, justice, morality, law/order.

PRESENT- IX.The Hermit: Wisdom in loneliness, being alone, guidance within, age/experience, spiritual truth. 

FUTURE- 9 of Cups: Satisfaction, content, counting blessings.

My personal relations to each card:

Past- at the beginning of this term, I was trying to get into the last 5 classes I needed before I graduate from college. However, I found myself stuck due to two classes only being offered in the fall, I tried to find “replacement” classes to fulfill graduation but it just wasn’t going to happen. So I found myself making some adjustments in my school scheduling and having to push back my graduation date to the end of this year, Fall 2018.

Present- Currently, I have felt very alone, In my study's and with my social life. I have been guiding myself through the semester and trying to find the courage to keep pushing through. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of, “ well I’ve been here X amount of years, I am almost done and I might as well finish what I started!” 

Future- With only five more weeks till them term is over I have found myself with 2-A’s and a B+. If I can pass the test in my B+ class it will turn into an A and I can officially say I have completed a term with straight A’s in college! Which will leave me satisfied and content in the semester!!!!!

My Final topic was Love/ Marriage (this one hit me hard!)

PAST- 5 of Pentacles: Refusal of aid, asking for help and not receiving it, being isolated, spiritual isolation, cannot guarentee fortune, loss of money and resources, lack of want, necessity of survival.

PRESENT- XII. The Hanged Man: Surrender, Sacrifice, seeing a bigger picture, giving in to your higher self, staring into the abyss.

FUTURE- 10 of Cups: The happy ending, true joy and bliss, emotional connection, contentment/ peace, inner understanding, spiritual awareness, depth of emotional wisdom, happy marriage and relationship, perfection in life. 

My personal relations to each card:

Past- My last major relationship, of which I was engaged too, ended up being my biggest lesson in relationships. I was with this boy for almost 4 years. During those four years, I worked full/ over time, went to college full time and provided our roof, food, and bills. All by myself. I would talk with him weekly about looking for a job. At which he would reply, “Well its too hard!” I would come home daily to him smoking weed (which I had bought) and playing video games in the same place I had left him that morning. I felt stuck and beside myself, supporting both of us, I felt like I could have done more for myself If I had been single. I was unable to save money in order to do the things I like to do, or let alone couldn’t even fix my vehicle which resorted me to walking and relying on public transit. 

Present- I left that boy a little over a year ago, and have just recently surrendered into taking care of myself and my needs. I am looking forward to the future that I will provide for myself and my future kids. But recently I feel like I am just staring into the darkness and just looking for a light to guide me.