#newt preference

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“Good night, Y/N!” Newt call out to her as he stood with a hand on the half-open door to his room. If only she knew how difficult it was for him to keep his voice from shaking or to not stutter on his words whenever he talked to her. The Second in Command gripped the doorknob in his hand tightly, eager for to hear her voice respond to him.

She beamed a smile at his direction and Newt swore his knees went weak. Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the pale moonlight as she met with his. Suddenly, he could feel my heart bumping up to beat a hundred miles an hour as she her beautiful voice replies with a fierce “G’night, shank!”

He watched as the turned, her hair dancing gracefully as she spun almost as if in slow motion, and began skipping the other direction. He could hear her exchange sarcastic good night greetings and joking threats to the other Gladers as he forced myself into his room - before he could get caught staring at her again.

Newt shut the door behind him and rested his back onto it, placing a fist over his heart and pounding at his chest in attempt to calm himself down. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling and cursing at himself slightly with how smitten he was over her. Y/N always had a way of playing at his bloody heartstrings ever since she was brought up to the Glade.

It wasn’t just because she was the only female in the Glade, nor was it because she was a beyond stunning girl. Sure, he easily got distracted by her radiant grin that could brighten any Glader’s day, her hypnotising eyes that he could stare all day into, her delicate hands that he so badly wanted to touch, and her pink lips that he could only dream of kissing but it was more than just a physical attraction.

He was attracted to her as a person. He truly admired her. She looked like a goddess within the Glade but she wasn’t too different from anyone, really - except that she probably embodied the strength of everyone combined. Physical strength was debatable (but honestly, it didn’t surprise Newt if he found Gally sprawled on the ground, defeated by her) but Y/N was undeniably the strongest teenager in the Glade with her fighting spirit.

She was the one who came up the box and didn’t cry her eyes out. Unconventionally, she did attack them the second she was dragged into the Glade but now that was a fun and threatening memory that every Greenie got told. When she found out all about the Glade, she simply nodded and immediately made herself useful in any possible way.

Y/N did a little bit of everything - the only thing she wasn’t good at was being a Med-Jack but it was mostly because she hated waiting for work instead of actually doing work. That alone was admirable enough but the entire fact that she was so hard working, persevering and unfazed about the situation she found herself in was what inspire Newt the most.

To him, it was just so bloody motivating to see someone so strong despite everything that’s happened to them. She would keep working and smiling no matter what, lifting up everyone else’s spirits along the way. She wouldn’t let anyone walk over her either, ready with a snarky comment with her quick-witted attitude. Y/N had the remarkable combination of fierce yet gentle, respected and looked up to but always approachable (perhaps except for him because he constantly found himself stutterign around her) and friendly, hardworking yet compassionate, and a leader but also a follower that inspired others to be like her. She was the undefeated Glader, the embodiment of hope in the Glade.

Newt let out another sigh and light pound to his chest before he started walking over to his bed, He didn’t realize that all that time thinking about her he was still standing by his door. He stripped off his bag, machete and hoodie before climbing into his bed. His brown eyes staring up at the ceiling, dancing between the wooden panels above. He licked his upper lip, still consumed by his thoughts.

Newt couldn’t get Y/N out of his mind but that wasn’t something new. If he was honest, he wanted to protect her even though he was pretty sure she’d never need a guardian because she was her own. But Newt hated the world and he knew well of how it could destroy even the strongest people. He never saw weakness in her but he was scared that the world would get to her one day and she would never deserve that.

Bloody hell, a person like her didn’t deserve to be in a situation like this at all! She was such a good-hearted, happy and strong character. He wanted to hurt the Creators for sending her up to a place like this. All he wished for her was the best life she could have because if it were anyone who deserved goodness, love and life, it would be her.

Newt sighed once more, rolling to his side and finally letting his eyelashes flutter to his cheeks. He swore each day that he fell more and more for her that he would help her in any way he could to get that life she deserved, uncaring if she ever noticed him or not for it. He just wanted to see her radiating spirit surrounded not by suffering and hate, but with the love and life that she should have had to begin with.

——————

His limbs flailed upwards, forcing him to sit up as his eyes shot open and a loud gasp escapes him. His chest rose and fell fiercely as he struggled for breath, eyes darting around the darkness of his room frantically.

No Ivy. No cemented walls. He was in his room. He wasn’t sprawled on the Maze floor. There wasn’t a vine of ivy wrapped around his shattered ankle. He didn’t jump. Never again. He was in his room. He was safe.

Balls of sweat decorated his face and body and his hands balled into fists that gripped at his thin sheets. He could still feel the tremble that rocked his bones from within.

It was a dream. A nightmare. He was okay. He didn’t jump again. Y/N wasn’t looking at him with a disgusted expression like the pathetic, scared Glader he felt like he was in his dream. That part of him was over. He was okay. He wasn’t dying. He was alive. He was okay.

He repeated it to himself over and over again but as the minutes ticked on but he couldn’t find himself to be at all convinced. His breathing didn’t slow and his heart felt like it was beating out of his chest.

Newt frustratingly ran his hand through his dampened locks before swinging his legs off the edge of his bed, lazily stuffing his feet into his sneakers and then getting up and walking out of his hut without a second thought. He tried shaking his nightmare thoughts away as the cold night air bit at the bare skin of his lean arms. He treaded out of the Homestead quietly, through the sleeping bodies, and made his way to the Deadheads.

It was a strangely comforting place to be alone. It was dense He often went there to relax on nights like this, although it had been a good while since this happened. He let out a sigh as he walked through the dark woods, leaves and twigs crunching beneath his feet.

Being surrounded by the trees under the pale moonlight and silence of the stars already started to comfort him. He stopped for a moment, in no particular spot and took a deep, calming breath. He held it for a while, shutting his eyes and trying to remember all the good things in life - until a sound just the opposite found his ears. He exhales slowly, trying his best to keep quiet and focused on his hearing.

It sounded like someone was crying. Crying a lot. Suddenly, he felt his heart shatter because it sounded like a girl crying - and there was only one girl in the Glade. The girl that would never cry.

This was worse than his nightmare. His body moved towards the sobbing noises, finding confidence to move towards her as quickly as possible. What would cause the strongest one in the Glade to breakdown like this? Newt’s heart raced towards her, wanting only to take away whatever it was troubling her.

“Y/N,” escapes his lips as a breath when he found her by a large tree, knees to her chest and face buried into her hands. Her head shot up at the call of her name, her eyes wide and teary with lips parted in shock.

He moved swiftly towards her, concern overriding any nerves he felt when he usually interacted with her. She was wiping her tears away fiercely as he approached, obviously trying to hide her crying and stop her tears.

He crouched by her and gently put a hand to her arm, that she shook away causing him to frown a bit. “Are you alright?” he asked and found it stupid the moment he did because she so obviously wasn’t. “Are you hurt? What happened?”

She shook her head and forced on a smile, “N-no.” she breathed and then sniffled, “I-I-I’m fine! What are you talking about Newt? Something was just… in, uh, my eye and all.”

She wasn’t. Newt noted that her voice pitched higher than usual. Her eyes didn’t sparkle like the ferocity she had but because of the tears that welled in them. He felt the aching grow in his chest. A scowl formed on his lips and his eyebrows furrowed.

Y/N noticed, taking a sharp breath before she spoke, “Really, Newt, I’m f-fine. Nothing to see here. Just taking a midnight walk, couldn’t quite sleep yet.”

And with that she stood, and Newt was so scared that she was going to walk away, which she probably was, so he instantly grabbed her wrist. Her wide eyes met his concerned ones and a small silence fell on them. It felt like his voice was stuck in his throat while a million things ran through his head.

She let out a bitter laugh just as he worked out the confidence to say something. She yanked her wrist away from him, “I don’t need a pity party, Newt.” and there was a second of utter grief that crossed her face while she glared up at him, “I told you, just something in my eye. I’m fine. Completely fine. I’m not even crying. So if you would be so polite, just let me go alr-“

“You’re not fine.” Newt interrupts and irritation quickly grew on her face but he couldn’t stand to see her lying. It felt like he slammed into the Maze floor after a jump again when he finally saw it, and he never felt so blind before. All this time of watching her and falling for her, how could he have missed it?

She was going to open her mouth and respond something as bitter as her laugh a moment ago but he grew the confidence to speak first, “You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N. I know what you’re feeling, trust me, because I’ve buggin’ been there: trying to be strong and denying everything around you. I know what it’s like to hate this place and be so broken by it. It’s what this place does, it keeps us bloody trapped here, killing us even when we don’t know it. ”

The pain and hurt expressed on her face increased as he broke down more and more of what she truly felt. He felt tears tempting to well in his own eyes as hers filled with them, some already rolling down her cheeks as she looked anywhere but him. He frowned, “It’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s okay.”

Her watery eyes met his all of the sudden, “No it’s not okay!” she snapped, raising her voice at him. “Look, congratu-shucking-lations to you Newt for being the only one who figured me out - you deserve a shucking reward!”

Her words hit him like a knife and he looked away for a moment, feeling awful for being so upfront before looking back to her hurt expression as she continued speaking through sobs. “Y-yeah! Alright? You’re right! I’m broken. I’ve always sh-shucking have been. I’m scared of everything! Everything about the Glade and the Maze and dying - and I don’t want any of this! I’m so shucking scared out of my mind, I come her every night just to ball my eyes out cause I’m so shucking pathetic!”

“Yet all of you think I’m some kind of warrior - some kind of hero, and I am not!! Absolutely not! I’m just a piece of klunk who pretends like she is just so no one could be bothered cause there are so many other important things we should worry about!” she choked on a sob before she continued, “C-cause ever since that first day, I’ve been known to be ‘strong’ but I just did all of that cause I was so shucking terrified! I’m not strong at all - I’m weak! The weakest shucking link around here!”

“I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be anymore! I hate it here and I hate myself! I’ve just been pretending to be this warrior princess in the klunk of a place - and everyone loves her but that’s not me! I’m really just a shank who’s too scared of everything so I lie to each and everyone of you every single shucking day! If everyone knew a-about this- this shuck-faced piece of klunk that I really am- th-then I’m just sh-shucking better off with the Grievers!” she yells out her last sentence, her voice cracking in desperation as her sobbing overtook her and she crumbled to her knees on the ground, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed loudly.

Newt felt the tears roll down his cheeks as he spoke and a small sob escaped him as he watched her fall. He quickly crouched down to her and wrapped his long arms around her.

She writhed underneath him, “L-let me go! I d-don’t want your sympathy! Shuck off, Newt!” she yelled and the more she did, the firmer his grip became. He bit at his bottom lip to force him to cry silently as she sobbed against his chest.

She stopped struggling against him after a moment and Newt took this opportunity to speak. “You’re wrong.” he starts, fighting to keep his voice stable. “You’re not weak at all. Not one bloody bit. I’ve always thought that you were the strongest one here in the Glade, because of your fighting spirit, and after this - I know I’ve been right all along.”

He felt her relax a bit underneath him, sniffling here and there but it was obvious she was listening. “The sole fact that you buggin’ feel like this every single day and night but still get up each day and fight through the day with a smile - that shows just how bloody strong you are, Y/N. It’s not pathetic at all, it’s shucking admirable. You fight on despite everything you’re feeling and not a lot of people can do that. A lot of them give up.” he paused for a moment, feeling guilty as he said that. “They give up and just want it all to end and do stupid things - but not you. You never give up even when your world is screaming for you to.”

“You’re not pretending to be someone else, Y/N. This is you. You’re so bloody selfless, brave, and strong. You carry all this on your little shoulders, all on your own, and never once thought of dumping your worries on any one else. Your tears aren’t weakness, they’re a sign that you’re still fighting. That you may be hurting like hell now but you’re going to wake up and persevere in the morning.” he pulls back slightly and he looks into her eyes as she looked up at him, “You are so strong, Y/N. I wish I could be more like you.”

A small smile finds his lips as he looked down at her. He knew it was hard for her to believe all that he was saying so he continued after brushing a strand of hair away from her face, “You care so much about everyone else. The fact that you persevere for others and not for yourself just proves how much strength you have in you, Y/N. But please,” he begged, “Please look after yourself. You have to. You have to think about yourself.”

“You opening up to me was so brave. I know how bloody hard that must have been for you, but I want you to know that I am here for you. You have been inspiring me every day you got here with your fighting spirit and as I learn more about you just now, trust me when I say you’re inspiring me even more. Ever since you got here, the Glade has never felt more hopeful. Every time I see you, I just know that there has to be something good out there because it gave us you.”

He didn’t exactly realize that what he said possibly revealed that he liked her, until he noticed the tint of red that sprinkled over her cheeks as she looked up at him. He suddenly felt a gulp in his throat and he couldn’t look at her eyes for a moment, but he forced himself to continue, “I believe that you deserve the absolute best in life so please, don’t carry all of this by yourself. Don’t drive yourself over the edge with feelings you’ll bottle up inside you. I’m here for you. I always have been and I swear that I always will.”

He looked back and supplied a small smile just for her. He noticed her lip tremble for a moment before a small smile finds her lips too and tears well in her eyes again before she wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. Her head was pressed against his chest as they embraced.

“Thank you.” she whispered.

Newt smiled as he hugged her back tightly, “There’s no need to thank me, Y/N. I’d like to thank you, actually, who knew it would take you screaming at me to finally, really talk to you.” he chuckled.

She lifted her head up to look at him and chirped, “What do you mean ‘finally’?”

He gulped. Oh, klunk. He just said that, didn’t he? “U-uh,” he stuttered, “I-I just, uh, always wanted to talk with you… you know? I-I mean, we have in the past, here and there, b-but it was never just the two of us and I’ve always wanted to just bloody talk to you.”

Heat was quickly rising to his cheeks and he could get himself to look at her directly, “I-I hope that doesn’t sound creepy, it probably shucking does but uh, you know, I just, uh, you inspire me a lot. I-I really admire you… e-everything about you. I-I… I just, uh,”

Y/N licked her lips as he watched him stutter, her heart racing as fast as his. “I know.” she breathed out and Newt snapped his head down to look at her. “I- I mean, I know what you mean… b-because I feel the same way.”

She bit at her bottom lip and Newt felt his mouth part slightly in shock, a visible blush formed on her cheeks. “I think I, um, I would have honestly punched anyone in the face without thinking twice if someone found me like this. B-but it wasn’t just, anyone else. It was you. A-and, I’ve always admired you too, you know?”

Newt’s eyes went wide in shock and he looked at her to continue, not making eye contact as she did. “D-during the first few days, I wasn’t even thinking of a-acting strong but then I saw you who was so helpful and happy to me during those days and I thought, I-I need to be like this guy, even in this klunky place we’re in.” then she let out a little giggle that honestly made his heart melt, “Plus, H-he’d never like someone so frail and scared, so pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic.” he said immediately, making her look up at him with those wide, sweet eyes again. “And it doesn’t matter. You’re you and I, uh, well, I like you.”

Her breath seemed to hitch when he said that and his heart honestly skipped a beat. Her not responding didn’t help at all. She kind of just looked at him wide eyed and her little lips were parted and she said nothing for a while.

He loosened his embrace on her, pulling back slightly and looking away for a moment but then she suddenly crashed into him. Back into his chest, burying her face in it as she mumbled, “I like you, too. Always have.”

Newt blinked down at her, and he smiled, nodded and embraced her. “Don’t ever be afraid, okay? To have bloody feelings and to be vulnerable. I’m going to be there for you, I always have been but I hope you know that I really will be now.”

Y/N lifted her head up to face him. She looked up to him, smiling the most genuine smile he ever saw on her face, “Don’t worry, I’ve always known.”

———————————————————————————————

“That’s another shucking dead end for another shucking section.” Minho grunts as he tried to place the little stick in line within the diorama. His frustration and heavy hands weren’t helping with trying to place together the delicate mini-maze.

You witness the Keeper throw his hands up in exasperation as he groans, throwing the little toothpick across the room. You hear Newt sigh, “Don’t bloody take it out on the poor stick, shank.”

Minho didn’t respond, only walked away in huffs, leaning on the doorframe as he scratched the back of his head.

A small sigh escapes your lips too as you held the smooth stone in your hand, grabbing a piece of chalk and writing on the number ‘7’. You walk over to where your boyfriend was, who was much more gently putting the maze together compared to Minho. You set it down the section he was finishing up. “Besides, Minnie, this is only the second section we’ve completed. We don’t know what’s at the end of each section yet. What if one of them has a way o-“

“What if it’s just another shucking red number on that klunk of a wall and another shucking dead end?!” Minho yells, whirling to your direction with a snarl on his face.

Newt immediately gets up and you could see him shielding a hand over you but you carefully push his wrist aside, challenging Minho with a confident, “What if it’s a shucking way out?!”

The Keeper glared at you but what you said was enough to silence him. He was breathing heavily but he simply remained silent.

You completely understood the frustration Minho had with completing the sections. Each day, Runners would run a little further - to each section that opened. It was exhausting but it was worth it. More and more of the maze was being revealed. The diorama was really coming together, slowly.

The first section was completed a month ago. It was the fourth section, you know this because of the number you found painted on the walls back then. It was such an exciting discovery. It felt like it was a light that suddenly shone through a dark tunnel. For Minho, it felt like something new after a year of running through that god awful maze without knowing jack about it.

Realizing that the section was labeled 4, it obviously meant that there were other sections. And there certainly were because only one section would open each day, but since the maze changed all the time it took quite a while to figure out which was which - but nonetheless, it gave hope. Maybe one of the sections would be a way out. You just needed to figure out: which was the lucky number?

However, with another completed section and another dead end, it did feel more like the way out was dwindling to nothing. What if Minho was right? What if every section was just another dead end? You already welcomed that thought in your mind but you always just asked yourself: What if one of them wasn’t a dead end at all? And honestly, that was enough to pull you through. You truly believed and felt like somewhere out there in the maze was a way out.

You suddenly felt Newt’s fingers intertwine with yours and that made you turn your eyes away from Minho. He smiled at you gently, giving you a slight nod.

You sighed and smiled back, then glanced at Minho who was slowly approaching you two. He seemed to have calmed a lot more and you started to help Newt with putting the rest of the diorama together.

Minho was quiet for a moment, hovering over the both of you as you finished up mapping the 7th section. You hear him inhale deeply before muttering as he exhaled, “I’m sorry.”

A smile finds your lips as you placed down the final stick you had in your hand. “See? Wasn’t that hard was it?” you teased to your best friend, who wasn’t famed for apologizing.

You see the Keeper rolling his eyes and Newt chuckled, “Alright, before I threaten the both of you to the buggin’ slammer, let’s go grab some dinner, yea? I think we bloody deserve it after that hell of a run.”

You let out a groan as you stretched your arms upward, “Yeah! I’m starved. I can’t wait to eat!”

Minho leads your trio out of the map room, sighing, “It still shucking escapes me how you can even happily eat the klunk Fry’s prepared.”

As you walked through the woods, you felt Newt put his arm over your shoulders, pulling you close as you treaded and you instinctively snaked your hand to his waist. “Would you rather have Newt’s cooking?”

Minho made dramatic vomiting noises as he walked ahead in response and you watched as Newt’s face scrunched up, “Hey!” he yells, “I’m not that awful a cook.”

“Sure you’re not, hun.” you say sarcastically, leaning your head into his chest.

Newt pouted at you, pulling his arm from your shoulder and shaking away from your grasp as he starts to pick up his pace. His arms were crossed over his chest and he walked like an upset child.

A laugh escapes your lips as you watched him then leaped into a jog to catch up with your boyfriend’s pace, grabbing his arm, “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” you giggle.

Newt stubbornly glares down at you for a second, still not unfolding his arms over his chest but you could see the twitch in his lips. A giggle soon erupts from his own - and oh, how wonderful that always sounded - before he swings his arm over your shoulder again and lets you hold him at his waist once you finally made it towards the clearing.

Minho turns on his heel and starts walking backwards. It looked like he was going to say something else before he pulls an expression of disgust as he watched the two of you walk, “Ew. Guys, come on. You shuck-faced shucks are the ones that are gonna make me puke tonight. The couple hug-walk-thing? You shucking serious?”

“Jealous, Min?” Newt’s accented voice comes out deep, almost sexy, making your heart race for a moment. His fingers squeezing your shoulder slightly.

Minho grimaces, “I’m so glad you’re on shucking Greenie duties tomorrow, you shank. I won’t have to see this” he says, waving his hands in front of you both.

Newt raises his free arm, cocking an eyebrow at his best friend, “I have ‘nother arm over here, could be yours if ya want it.”

Minho’s face toughens, pointing a finger at Newt, “Stop that, shank. Or I’ll be ripping that shucking arm off you.”

A hearty laugh escapes you as Minho turns to jog into the kitchen. Newt is grinning as he motions you to go ahead of him.

Minho didn’t mean it. He loved you and Newt being together. He says that once they get out, he can start telling the tales of your epic trio and since the two of you were an item, he’d be the glorified main character.

But really, he meant it. Minho sat down with you once - it was just the two of you, you always saw him as a cheeky older brother so it meant a lot when he told you that you and Newt were perfect for each other. That he was glad you were together because he could see how much you genuinely cared for and made each other happy.

He confessed that he always knew Newt like you and saw that you liked Newt as well - even before you realized just in that way. He was more than happy when you finally got together, even though he covers it up with plenty of teasing and snarky comments. He admit that seeing you and Newt together gives him hope that there really is something out there greater for all of them. It reminds him that no matter how bad the situation is, seeing both of you makes him think of the positives in life.

He then stated that if you ever told anyone about your little talk that he’d steal your clothes away when you showered so you had to run to the homestead in a towel. Of course, he’d never do that, but you respected the reputation Minho had in the Glade and kept your mouth shut.

The rest of the Glade loved your relationship with Newt too. At first, there were cheers and whistles and teasing even if you and Newt were never too public about your affection since it was quite embarrassing the first time the Runners saw you kiss. Now, it was like it was absolutely normal - like it was a stable thing in the Glade. Even Alby smiles when he sees the two of you together, knowing that the both of you have never worked harder.

As you sat down with your greatest friends, a smile doesn’t fade from your lips all throughout the dinner. You truly loved your fellow Gladers.

——————

“Where are we off to, love?” Newt whispers between chuckles as you lead him through the dense woods of the Deadheads.

“As if you don’t already know.” you giggle, having a firm grip on his hand as you treaded through.

Newt only chuckled in a response, knowing just as well where the both of you were headed. It was your special little place in the Glade.

To everyone else it was just a big old tree somewhere deep in the Deadheads but to you both, it was the place where you first met. The place you had your first fight. The place you first found out you loved each other. And the first place you both ran to every night to truly be alone together.

You stopped at the root of the trees, groaning as you leaned back into Newt’s chest while he wrapped his arms over you. “I so do not have the energy to climb up that thing tonight.”

Newt bends lightly and kisses your cheek, “It’s alright, neither do I.”

You turn to face him, placing your hands by his shoulders and smiling up at him. Both of your eyes lock onto each other in the darkness, dimly lit by the night sky above. A smile finds his lips as well as the calming whistles of the night accompanied you both.

Even in the cold, being with Newt was warm. It was like the love that you had for him and he had for you radiated from both of your bodies like the bonfire held every month. Passion pulsed through your system at every racing heart beat. You pulled him into a deep kiss.

Newt’s eyes flutter close as yours do, wrapping his arms tighter around you as he kisses you. He leads you as you walk backwards, until you feel the tough trunk meet your back gently. You could feel Newt’s body press closer to yours as he kisses you and you found that your fingers danced in his sandy locks. His fingers traced over the curves of your body, feeling like little firecrackers when he found your bare skin.

The kiss almost felt desperate. It was as if Newt felt like this was the last time you were going to share a moment like this. You suddenly noticed and felt the fear as he kissed you roughly. You even felt it in the strength he had as he held you. Newt was scared - and you had an idea why. You pulled apart in deep breaths, eyes still shut as you rested your forehead atop his. Still finding the air to speak as your fingers curled in his hair.

His breathing was deep too, staggered even, but he spoke first. His voice was in a low whisper as he admits, “I wouldn’t mind bein’ stuck in this bloody Glade as long as you’re here, Y/N.”

You opened your eyes as you heard this, looking at him through your lashes. His eyes were locked to the ground and the grip he had on your sides stayed firm. His eyebrows were furrowed.

Your fingers relaxed in his locks and your hands fell to his shoulders again. You moved your right hand to cup the side of his face, stoking your thumb over his cheekbone. His eyes met yours instantly. “We’re getting out of here.”

He keeps his eyes on you but you notice his lip tremble slightly. You knew what was going on in his head and you couldn’t blame him. Newt was a realist, he always was. If your actions in the Glade were driven mostly by feeling, his were by logic. He was thinking of what Minho said and sadly, he was believing it.

“There’s a way out. I know it.” you repeat in the same whispered tone.

You feel his grip loosen on you as he pulls back from your forehead. “What if there’s not, love? What if we’re meant to be stuck in this shucking place?”

“And what if there is?” you say simply, putting your hands on top of his and he quickly interlaces his fingers with yours. “There are two ways these ‘what ifs’ we have can go but there’s only one way to find out - and that’s in the Maze. And that’s why we keep running.”

Newt’s lips tighten into a line and his eyebrows furrow further, as if he’s trying to stop himself from crying. He pulls you into an embrace. A tight one. You wrap your arms around him, hugging him back with just as much force.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers.

“Don’t be.” you say back with a smile and you feel him pull back.

He’s looking you straight in the eyes and you sense an audacity that wasn’t there earlier, “You’re my strength, Y/N, and as long as we’re together I promise that I will keep on bloody fighting for a way out. For us.”

You keep a smile on but you shake your head. “No.” you say and it must have confused him greatly because he looks at you with that expression and you feel his arms release you slightly.

You put your small hands over his, giving them a squeeze. “You’re my strength too, Newt, but I want you to promise that no matter where we are and no matter what happens - even if we’re not together - we fight to live. We live for each other.”

Newt lets out a puff of air, it was almost like a sigh of relief, and he nods with a smile on his face. “You can count on me for that, love. I promise.”

A grin couldn’t help but creep onto your lips and before you crashed into him for another passionate kiss you whisper, “I promise, too.”

——————

You weren’t exactly sure for how long you were in the Deadheads. It was definitely too late with how tired you felt from running all day. The sky was dark but decorated with a sprinkle of stars, glad the only light came from them because the flush on your cheeks was hard to hide. Your hand was intertwined with Newt’s as you lead him slowly through the dense woods.

A smile played at your lips as you turned to look back at your boyfriend. You hear him giggle as a response and you quickly turn to face back towards the direction you’re going, except your foot gets caught by a root of a tree and you almost came tumbling forward if Newt hadn’t caught you.

“Are you alright, love?” he asks, and you could see the concern on his face.

You shoot him a smile, “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s alright, just be careful.” he says and sets you to your feet properly, “Use both hands to guide you through the trees.”

You nodded at him in the darkness and did as you were told. You felt your fingertips brush against every rough tree trunk as you carefully treaded through the forrest.

It was probably because you were so tired but it felt like it was taking absolutely forever to get through the Deadheads. Your legs felt like they were luging through sand. Your breathing was getting heavy and judging by the breaths behind you, Newt was feeling the same fatigue. You were about to groan and complain until an unfamiliar noise found your ears.

“Did you hear that?” you whisper in an exhale as you stopped walking.

Newt almost bumped into you, “Hear what? What are you-“

“Shh!” you hissed, trying to focus on your hearing senses.

It was a faint and curious little sound. It sounded small but large at the same time, like it came from every direction but it was delicate. It sounded like it barely wanted to be heard - like it was forbidden.

As you continued to listen and both you and Newt’s breaths calmed, you started to hear it clearly and it wasn’t as unfamiliar as you though. You snapped your head towards Newt and felt your eyes widen when you realized what it was, “It sounds like water. Like, running water or bubbling water, or something.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I agree. But who’d be bloody running or boiling water at this time in the buggin’ Deadheads?”

You could only shrug, “One way to find out.” and before you could stop yourself you were already walking hastily through the woods. You decided to just move forward, not really knowing where to pin point the noise exactly. You could hear Newt’s footsteps close behind you.

Your hands guided you in the darkness. It was as if the stars were disappearing and it was just getting darker and darker. Your fingertips brushed against the bark of the trees, it’s rough texture scraping your delicate skin.

Suddenly, you felt something cold on your fingers and you quickly jerked your hand back.You stopped and hesitatingly put your hand back where it was, jerking again slightly as your fingers met with the low temperature. You allowed your fingertips to brush over its surface. It was cold and smooth - like chiiled glass or metal.

Taking a breath, you found the courage to wrap your hand around whatever it was and you pulled it towards you. Your face scrunched in confusion. In your hand was a cable or some sort of tube. It dropped towards the ground and hung from the trees. It was too dark to see just how long it was.

You turned to Newt and found that he was looking at one just like yours from another tree. “What are they? Since when have they been here?”

Your boyfriend was speechless. His expression just like yours: complete bewilderment. You turn your attention back to the tube in your hand, what was this? What was it doing in the Deadheads?

“..ed….good….”

Your head snapped up at the whisper that ran across the forrest. That wasn’t your voice, nor was it Newt’s. Plus, it definitely came from somewhere ahead.

“I think there’s someone there!” you gasp at Newt and you see him nod at you so you quickly start running forward towards the whisper.

“….All…… they’re….. ready.”

You weren’t phased by the exchange of smooth glass textures from the tubes and rough bark textures from the trees. You just kept running forward, the whispers getting louder, clearer.

“….trials…. of….. forget…. how could….this….to us……”

You almost let out a scream as your fingers touched something that wasn’t glass nor wood. You stopped running suddenly but the whispers still continued.

“….this is all……should have never……belong here…..”

It was soft but firm. If you were being honest, it felt like skin, but it was too dark to see. “N-newt?” you called.

“…..need a control…..let me in, please……. go out of ine and we’ll……”

The whispers were the only things that answered you and all they left were questions. You began to reach forward. You felt the strangely familiar texture on your fingertips. If you were honest, it kind of felt like skin.

“……stay alive…….too much then we’ll have to…….status report updated to…..”

You traced your fingers down the curious surface and then you felt your heart drop when your finger traveled down to meet over someone else’s. You immediately pulled your hand away but just as you did, a bright blue light blinds you for a second. Your vision clears and you realize that the light is coming from the glass tubes, now filled with bright blue liquid that pulsed through it.

But that wasn’t what made your stomach completely flip over. Your assumptions were proven true as your eyes danced along the motionless bodies that hung from the vines cascading down the trees. They were all attached with the glass tubed filled with the blue substance.

The whispers turned into screams - all screaming at once, but you could pick out the same few words over and over: subjects, alive, wicked, ready, good, report, trials, dead. You found your own joining them when the horrific truth settled on you. The stilled bodies that hung all around you were clearly lifeless but worst of all: they were your friends.

As tears welled in your eyes and you let out a blood curdling scream, you could recognize all your dead friends: Minho, Alby, Clint, Frypan, Gally, Ben, Jackson, Paul, Winston, Zart, Jack, Nick— everyone.

Then suddenly like someone slapped you across the face, you realized there was one face you couldn’t find: Newt.

It felt like the oxygen was being deprived of your lungs as you whipped your head around, trying to search for the love of you life. “Newt!!!” you screamed his name over and over again through your sobs but no one was answering.

“Y/N.”

It was barely even a croak of a whisper, but it was his voice. You quickly turned your head to suddenly see a small space in front of you - occupied by Newt sitting on a chair, he looked as good as dead but his chest was still heaving - barely. His body was strapped down and tubes were injected through his arms and legs.

You chocked on a sob and were about to run forward when a woman appeared from the shadows. She stepped forward next to Newt. She was an older woman wearing all white. Her hair was pulled back neatly. She had a firm expression on his face.

“Hello, Y/N.” she greets with a smile and you questioned if she was even aware of all the dead bodies around, much more of the state of the boy next to her.

“Leave him alone.” you whimper.

“Not even a greeting? My, my Y/N. You were always my favourite but I never was yours, was I?” her voice was terrifyingly calm.

“Leave him alone!!” you scream, balling you hands into fists so tightly that your nails dug into your palms.

She looks at you for a moment, not moving. Then her lips curl into the slightest smile after letting out a small sigh. She looks down, almost sympathetically, at Newt and You watch her cautiously as she moves from his left to his right. “It’s time to say goodbye, Y/N.”

Your face scrunches up in confusion. What on earth did she mean?

“They’ll never want you if they remembered anyway.” she says, and suddenly she turns to look you dead in the eye with such a deadly glare that you barely even notice the sharp, silver dagger she pulls from her pocket. “Because you did this to them.”

Her voice cuts through you as her dagger slashes across Newt’s throat, you watch as the life pulls from him and he sends you a horrifying look as he barely gasps out “How could you let this happen?”

There’s a thin red line on Newt’s throat for a second before blood spills out of it like a waterfall. You scream at the top of your lungs launching yourself forward, desperate to save him.

You feel strong arms wrap around you, keeping you from moving forward. You were still screaming but suddenly, the room feels humid and hot - no longer was the cold air of the Deadheads. Your feet weren’t planted on the ground anymore but they were kicking at tangled sheets. Your vision began to adjust and you could see the familiar surroundings of your room.

“It’s a dream!! It’s not real!! It’s a dream, Y/N!!” you hear yells into your ear as you let your screams wash away.

Your screams turn into gasps for air and high pitched whimpers. Tears welled in your eyes and your entire body shook from fear. You feel sweat cover your body as another held you close to his. You didn’t even need to turn to know from whom that accented voice was or whose strong arms held you back. Newt. He was okay. He was alive.

Your lip trembled and your shaking hands found Newt’s arm that you gripped tightly as you leaned back into his chest and began to cry the hardest you could remember how to. You were gripping Newt with such force it was sure to leave marks. You wailed so loudly you had woken up the entire Glade. You sobbed so hard that you didn’t even notice you door swing open to have a very concerned Alby and Minho racing into your room.

Newt held you tightly in his arms, tears in his own eyes to witness you experience such fear. He stroked your hair and hushed your shaking sobs, reassuring you everything was going to be okay - even though with the state you were in now, you weren’t exactly sure. 

———————————————————————————————

Tears were being shed in the big room in the Homestead with no plans of stopping. It had been going on for a while. After Newt left, you had a complete breakdown and even with just your best friend in the room, you couldn’t stop sobbing.

“Stop crying. Shh, Y/N, stop crying. You’re gonna flood the Homestead faster than when Gally broke the showers.” Minho’s voice rung.

You didn’t stop. Not even a smile tempted your lips. Your new Keeper had been saying his best sassy lines and giving his all to make you laugh, which wasn’t ever a challenge on any given day - except now.

You were a sobbing mess as you sat in the Gathering room at the Homestead with Minho’s arms wrapped around you. He kept speaking to you but you honestly barely heard it. You were crying so hard and felt so much pain that you swore that not only wasn’t there enough oxygen in your system but your heart had been ripped from your chest.

It felt like someone had rammed their hand in between your breasts, hard enough for it to pierce through the skin and muscles, then broke the bones of your ribcage and sliced through the other organs just to grab your heart before ripping it clean off you. It felt like you sat there, without the beating of your heart, as your mind raced so fast you couldn’t figure out what you were thinking and all your body could understand to do was spill endless tears from your eyes and gasp for breath.

You couldn’t understand what you felt towards Newt from earlier. Everything was a roller coaster. You woke up with him next to you, cradling you like you were the only thing that mattered to him in this dangerous world. You even found out he slept by your side all night, ever since the first day you arrived. Then, when he came back from your run, everything changed at the flip of the switch. It was like he hated your existence and believed that you weren’t capable of anything.

Klunk, he even spoke about your death so nonchalantly. Even though he so morbidly described how a Griever would tear you limb by limb, you would gladly admit that his words had cut you much worse. How he accused you of being crazy, how he implied you were weak, how he called you a girl. If there was one person that has never let you feel like just a girl in the Glade, it was him. It felt worse than a betrayal. It felt like all those times that he had been gentle and sweet and caring was all a lie, like he had bottled up all the hate for you inside just because he was being nice to the only girl in the Glade.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, he flips the entire situation around, confusing your mind even further. His words turned into arrows that drove straight to your heart - and you couldn’t quite figure out if those arrows belonged to Cupid or Athena. Part of your mind floated to the worst case scenario: he only said it to make you feel worse. However, the grieving look on his face that instilled in your mind made you think otherwise, that he really did care. That you probably meant more to him than you could ever imagine. Except, this didn’t feel too good either because of the immense guilt you realized that you felt - because with this happy thought came the negative reality: you knew you had hurt him. Worse, you had broken and lost Newt. If he didn’t hate you before, you certainly just gave him a reason to hate you now.

“Stop thinking about him.” Minho’s voice interrupts your thoughts after a sigh that you didn’t hear escapes him. You hadn’t noticed but he was squatting next to you now, meeting you at eye-level. The tone of his voice showed he had given up in trying to make you laugh but finally talking to you instead.

“I-I c-c-can’t.” you sputtered in a whimper as your thoughts still raced around the blonde Second-In-Command. Your eyes stung as tears even more spilled out of them.

Minho shook his head at you, putting his hands firmly on your shoulders. “You’re hurting yourself more, Y/N. Just stop already.”

You felt anger swirl into the mix of emotions that already danced inside of you, “H-how can y-y-you say that, Min?!” you cried, your voice cracking, “Th-the one who’s b-been by my side a-all this time in this hell hole h-hates me!!”

Minho sighed deeply, keeping the serious tone of his voice, “He doesn’t hate you.”

You let out a painful chuckle and cried in an exasperated tone, “Min, open your shucking eyes!! Newt! Hates! Me!”

“Shuck, Y/N!” he suddenly exclaims back, sharing the same tone as you now. “Open your shucking klunk eyes! You’ve been blind all this time, shank! Newt will never hate you! Even if you were one of those shuckface creators, Newt couldn’t bring himself to hate you!! Ever since you got your klunk butt in this shank place, he’s been shucking in-!“

He cuts himself off before he could finish the sentence. He curses under his breath as he stood up straight, putting his knuckles to his lips. He let out a frustrated sigh and looked down at your angry expression, speaking before you could retort. “Newt. Doesn’t. Hate. You. Have you already shucking forgotten what he said? Or couldn’t say, rather,” he adds in a mumble, “That shank.” before he clears his throat and continues, calming his voice a bit. “He said that he couldn’t bear to lose you. You’re too important to him. What do you think that means, Y/N? He cares about you. So much. Too much, even! He’s shucking scared of losing you. So scared he doesn’t want to risk it. He’d rather have you safe in the Glade where he can go back to you everyday. Klunk, you don’t know it, but the boy sleeps in that shuck chair of yours in your hut every single-“

“I know.” you chirped suddenly, eyes focusing on your feet.

Minho gave you an expression of complete disbelief. He threw his arms up in the air while sarcasm lacing every bit of his voice. “Then why do you shucking think he even hates you, shank? No offence but I wouldn’t sit on a klunk chair all night for you. No shank would! But he did. He does.”

You felt your lip tremble but no tears fell. Now you know what you felt. You felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. It felt like wild birds were pecking at the organs you had left in your system after having your heart ripped out. The birds devoured it slowly as the moments with Newt in the Glade played in your mind.

Minho was right. Newt didn’t hate you. He probably wanted to moments ago and yet he couldn’t. You knew how that felt. You wanted to hate Newt too for all the things he said to you, it would have been easier to deal with that way, but you knew that you could never in a million years find yourself to hate him.

Newt didn’t want you going into the maze because he’s seen what’s out there and he knows the dangers. It’s not that he thought you couldn’t do it. It was just because anyone, even the best of the Gladers, were at risk for stepping foot into the Maze and he couldn’t bear even the slightest risk to your life; to losing you.

“Shuck.” you breathed out as your thoughts finally started making sense. “I’m such a shucking shuck-faced shuck.”

Minho shrugged, “Well, if it makes you feel better, I’d say that for you and Newt both.”

“I need to talk to him. I need to sort this out.” you blurted out, not thinking. You didn’t even bother with a snarky come back. Your voice was still husky from all the crying but it barely shook as you spoke.

He sighed, “Y/N, I’m sorry, he’s not going to want to talk to you. I know Newt. Just wait until tomorrow once he calms do-“

“I-I don’t care. I’m not going to wait,” you said shaking your head, surprised at the sudden confidence you had but you didn’t let it show as you continued, “He’s not going to have a choice if he wants to talk or not.”

Minho chuckled, a smile on his face. He was relieved to finally see you not crying but more amused by your shift in mood, “I am so glad that you’re the only shebean around here. Love is too complicated. I don’t want it.”

You stared at him for a moment before a scoff escapes you and you give your best friend the slightest of smiles. Minho was right once again, love was complicated and you loved Newt but you knew one thing he didn’t: you couldn’t give a shuck how complicated it was.

——————

You completely ignored the eyes of the Keepers and Gladers who watched as you marched towards the DeadHeads. You knew Newt wouldn’t be in his hut at the Homestead, it was just too obvious and for sure the Second-In-Command didn’t want to be found - but you had an idea of where he might be.

You trekked in the dark, uncaring of the branches that scraped your skin or how you tripped over a couple steps. Once you got closer to where you guessed Newt had been, you tried to be quieter. You saw the big tree come to your sight quickly and your ears picked up the faintest sniffling that wasn’t your own.

You could see a tuft of blonde hair poke out from the bushes where Newt sat and you felt yourself freeze for a moment. He sat exactly where you were when you first went to the Glade and you stood whee Newt had when he first approached you. The confidence you had earlier seemed to drain away. You didn’t even know what to say to him. You just knew you had to talk to him and jumped into it without really thinking. You wanted to sort out what happened, because you cared too much about him. And if he felt even the same by even the slightest bit, you knew he felt all the pain you were feeling since he cared too much too. You just wanted him to be alright, and didn’t care if it meant hurting yourself in the process.

You took a breath, before taking a step forward, disregarding the stealthy approach you had earlier. His head immediately snapped up at the noise and his eyes filled with horror when he saw you. You both stared at each other for a moment, dumbfounded at what to do, what to say.

“Newt,” you forced yourself to start. “I’m-“

“Just bloody go away, Y/N.” he barks suddenly, getting up and turning to walk away.

It felt like Athena’s arrow shot straight to your heart.

“I won’t.” you said confidently, despite the aching in your chest.

He immediately stopped in his tracks. You could see his hands ball into fists before he spun around angrily. “Are you here to bloody rub it in my face then? That you’re a buggin’ Runner now, yea?” his voice cracked slightly and tears welled in your eyes.

Another one of the Goddess of War’s arrows to your heart.

“Well, good luck getting killed in the maze tomorrow, shank! Go ahead! See if I bloody care!” he spits, voice raising into a scream you were sure the rest of the Glade could hear.

Another arrow to the heart. No, two.

You could feel your nails digging into your palms as you stood there with your hands balled into fists as well, glaring at him.

“Cause I don’t, not anymore! I shucking hate you, Y/N!” he yells, his brown eyes drilling into yours angrily.

You felt the anger build up inside you too, “You don’t hate me!” you snapped, stepping closer to him.

“I do, Y//N! I hate how you want to be a bloody runner! Who the shuck wants that?! I hate how you want to get yourself killed out there! So just buggin’ leave me alone now, don’t waste anytime by waiting for tomorrow!”

“I’m not leaving you now like I’m never going to leave you ever!” you screamed, and he seemed to fluster for a second so you took the chance to continue, “I want to be a Runner because I want a shucking way out of here. You know why, Newt?! I hate the people who put us here but I also want to get out for you! With you! I’m gonna run into that maze everyday, memorize every shucking way, solve that klunk of a maze for you! I want a real life out there that I can spend with you and I’m not going to wait until the Creators kill one of us!”

You were crying now as you yelled, “So don’t you shucking say that you hate me! I know you don’t because even when you’ve hurt me inside more than any Griever ever can, I can’t find myself to shucking hate you! I never can and I know you can’t either! Besides, if you hated me as much as you say you do then why did you shucking make me love you?!”

Newt stared wide-eyed at you wearing the stern expression on your face. Did he hear the last words you said right? You… loved him?His mind started to race a hundred miles an hour.

It was obvious you had been crying and hurting as much as he did, except that you handled it far better than he. He wanted to run into the maze after the Gathering, but the doors had already been closed. So he ran to the Dead Heads and honestly couldn’t figure out if he wanted to go back or not, ever. He didn’t want to be there during the day, whenever that was, that you never made it through those doors. It pained him to think about it.

But honestly, seeing you fight to fix what just happened pained him even more because he couldn’t find himself to do the same even if he wanted to so badly. He wasn’t as strong as you. He wanted to yell ‘Well, if you love me so much then why don’t you just not be a bloody runner?!’ or ‘Don’t tell me how I feel, you’ll never understand!” and he knew they were all lies. They were all just a defence mechanism for the pain he felt.

But the words were already at the tip of his tongue, tempting to word-vomit from his beaming accented voice even as he fought so hard not to. His lips parted and fearing the worse of what those stubborn, pathetic and stupid words might do, he rushes over to you. He cups your face in his large, rough hands and collides his lips with yours before any of the words escape.

His eyes shut tight as his lips pressed hard against yours. Your entire body stiffened in shock and you stared at him wide eyed. The moment didn’t last long, he pulled away from you just as quickly and both of you gasped then stared with parted lips.

It was you who broke. A sudden feeling of vulnerability, heartache, confusion, and sadness overwhelms you. Your frowning lips tremble as your eyebrows furrow while tears blur your vision. “….Why?” you pleaded in a whimper before breaking into sobs.

Newt’s face scrunched in the same way, a hand flying to his nose and mouth as a sob escapes him. He immediately wraps his arms around you and holds you tightly against him. So tight it hurts but it felt so comforting. He sobs into your hair while you sob into his chest.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, love I-“ he says choking on sobs, “I’m so sorry, p-please f-for- love, I-I’m so sorry!”

You couldn’t barely form words of your own as your smushed your sobbing face into his chest. “I-I’m sorry too!” you cry.

And the two of you stood there, in the spot where you had first met, sobbing together in a tight embrace. For how long during the night, no one knew.

—————

None of you really said a word to each other after crying so much. Newt just took your hand in his and started leading you out of the forest. The moon shined above the Glade. It was late. Coming from the Deadheads, you and Newt passed the sleeping Gladers on the way to your hut in the Homestead.

Now, the both of you sat in silence, at the edge of your bed. He hadn’t let go of your hand, in fact, he held it in between both of his. You both looked to the floor.

It was quiet for a long time, both of you in deep thought. You knew this was the time both of you were going to finally talk. Like, actually talk and not scream or yell - maybe cry. You wanted to say all the right things to not klunk anything up any further.

Newt thought the same. He was convinced he had done enough damage, so he spoke first. He turned to you, “I’m really sorry, Y/N.” he croaked, voice different from crying so much.

“No, I am too, Newt.” you said, barely audible if it had been any other time of day.

“No, Y/N. I said such, such horrible things to you. I’m never going to forgive myself that that. You never deserved it and I’m so bloody sorry.” his voice shook as he spoke, “I was- I was just so scared I was gonna shuckin’ lose ya, Y/N. I don’t want to lose you, ever. I didn’t mean a word of it. Not how you’re weak or that you’re just a bloody girl or god, how the Grievers would devour you. I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want you to be a runner. I don’t want to risk losing you.”

You let out a sad chuckle with your eyes meeting his, “That’s how I feel every morning you run into the maze, Newt.” you admit, “I’m so scared you’re not going to come through the doors in time or Minho’s gonna be dragging your dead body back into the Glade one day. I don’t want to lose you, either, and that’s why I want to run out there. I’m tired of waiting to lose you in trying to find a way out. Let me help you. Let me run with you.”

His eyebrows furrowed as his lips tightened to a line, “What if there’s no way out?”

You clasp your free hand over as much as both of his hands, “Then at least I’ll be in that ‘bloody’ maze with you.” you say with a sad smile, “But there is a way out. I know it and we’re going to find it together.”

He sends you a sad smile back as you spoke. He turned away and hung his head down. “I’m really sorry for everything, love. I shouldn’t hav-“

“Stop saying sorry.” you complain. Your fingers brush to his jaw as you pushed his face to look at you. “You hurt me and I hurt you. We’re done with that. We’ve apologised and cried enough. Let’s forgive and forget. Let’s put it behind us and move forward. Let’s keep running.”

As he looks into your eyes you feel like he’s staring deep into your soul. It felt like he had plucked all of Athena’s arrows from your ripped out heart and hired Cupid to help him put you back together - from the severed veins, to the pierced organs, to the broken bones and the ruptured skin. But before he put your heart back, he put a little of his own in it.

Both of you closed the distance between you two and pressed each other’s lips together in a gentle kiss. Both of your eyes flutter close as both of you stayed still. His lips were soft and a little salty from the tears but the kiss was nothing but sweet. The way his lips felt against yours felt natural and right - just like anything with Newt usually felt, just this a little more magical.

You both pulled away slowly, feeling your lips separate only during the last moment. You didn’t retreat far as you rested your forehead on his, noses bumping into each other occasionally. Both of you slowly opened your eyes at each other slowly.

“I’m going to run into that bloody maze, every single day for you and with you, Y/N. I’m going to make sure nothing is going to happen to you and that we find a way out. Together. I love you.” he breathes, agreeing with what you had said earlier.

“Nothing is going to happen to us. We’ll be together, no matter what. I love you too,” you respond, smiling back at him as he smiles gently at you before you add endearingly, “Shuck-face.”

A small laugh escapes him as he pulled back and sat up properly. You giggle and lean into his shoulder as an arm wrapped around your waist. “I guess I am a bloody shuck-face, huh?”

“The shuckiest shuck-faced shuck.” you tease, “But it’s okay, I am too. Minho says so.”

“And we’re supposed to believe that shank?” he raises an eyebrow at you with a slight smirk.

You chuckle, “We’re his friends, we have to.”

Newt sighed and laughed a bit, then pulled his arm from you as he stood up. “Well, we shouldn’t keep the Keeper of the Runner waiting. I think it’s time we’ve rested our bloody eyes, love.”

“Good that.” you respond, getting up and crawling onto bed.

———————————————————————————————

You’ve been to Gatherings before so the large room in the Homestead wasn’t something new. However, this had been the first time that where you were just with the council, let alone sitting on the chair where a shank in deep klunk usually sat.

Well, sure you weren’t in trouble but it sure did feel like it. Your fingers nervously danced against each other on your lap as you looked around the room. Everyone sat in their places. All the keepers looked at you. Your eyes danced from each of theirs in front of you, until they couldn’t meet Newt’s.

He was slouching in his chair, his hair in a mess. He had his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes rimmed red, his lips tight in a flat line as the rest of his body was tense. He had his head turned to the side, completely avoiding your direction. He refused to look at you.

Seeing him hurt you even more. Your chest felt like it weighed a tonne of bricks but at the same time it felt completely empty. Tears stung the back of your eyes as you stared at your blonde friend. You didn’t allow yourself to cry, biting your lip to stop it from trembling. You forced your eyes away from him, until they found Minho’s.

The muscular Asian looked at you with a blank expression for a moment, then looked over at the Second-In-Command, then back at you and he sent a sorry smile. He could tell you were hurting, anyone could, but he felt bad since he had just witnessed you so happy moments ago. You sent him a small one back that only lasted a second before turning to Alby who started talking.

“Thank you for coming in such short notice. As requested by the Keeper of the Runners, this Gathering for the election of a new runner is going to be a bit different, as we have the candidate here right in front of us.” The First-in-Command nodded to you and you looked at everyone briefly, nodding at them politely as a greeting.

The leader continued, “Now, let’s get to it. Minho, explain why you’ve even pitched this idea in.” there was a hint of disbelief in his voice and you felt slightly offended, but it didn’t compare to how awful you felt because of Newt anyway.

“None of you shanks” Alby met Newt’s eyes, giving him a stern look the blonde rolled his eyes at, “better interrupt. Good that? Altight Minho, floor’s yours.”

You caught Newt’s reaction and you felt yourself frown. When he had run off from you earlier, he was screaming at Alby. You didn’t even have to turn around to see how upset he was - everyong in the Glade heard him. You had never seen him so on edge, so angry. You’ve seen him at his worst because of troublesome slintheads but this was beyond it. This was the actual worst. He was so violent. He was so un-Newt-like.

It took a while to calm the Second-in-Command before the Gathering actually took place. There was a lot of screaming back at each other from one leader to the other, some other Keepers even joined in. Minho and Gally were the ones who had to physically apprehend him. It was only when Alby threatened him to not be part of the Gathering that he shut up, but even right now it looked like it took all his will to not start screaming again.

When Alby took his seat, Minho rose from his chair and approached you. He nodded at you slightly and turned to face the other Keepers. “Y/N wants to be a runner.” he started and Newt scoffed in his seat, slumping into his chair as he shook his head.

You felt tears well in your eyes and balled your hands into fists on your lap. You looked at the ceiling and started blinking, trying your best not to let them fall.

Minho glared at Newt who wasn’t looking at him. He continued, “And I honestly think she can do it.”

Newt couldn’t stop himself then. He let out a a laugh and you snapped your head up at him as he half rose from his seat. He was looking at Minho with a sarcastic smile, his voice no longer a remedy but poison. “So that’s all it takes to be a bloody runner now, yea? Just tell shanks who can be runners cause you think they’re capable? Let’s get everyone bein’ a runner now why don’t we?”

“Shut your shucking hole, you slinthead piece of klunk! I’m going to rip your shucking voice box out your throat!” Minho threatened, sizing up to Newt as he approached him. You felt yourself rise from your seat slightly, reaching for Minho to calm down but Newt stood before you could.

“Do it, you bloody shank! While you’re at it, I’ll smash your shuckin’ head! That ought to fix the klunk goin’ on in that buggin’ mind of yours!” the blonde retorted.

Alby quickly rose to your feet, putting his hands on your best friends’ chest as he pushed them apart. “Both of you slim it!! Gally, get this klunk of a Second-in-Command out of here!”

The Keeper of the Builders quickly rose to his feet wearing an angry yet satisfied expression on his face, as if he’d more than like to kick Newt out.

Before anyone could have lay another hand on the blonde, he raised his hands in defense. “Alright, Alright! I’ll shut my bloody mouth!” he yelled with a frustrated sigh as he slumped back into his seat.

Gally’s eyes travelled to Alby’s and the leader gave him a nod before both of them returned to their seats with a sigh. Minho glared down at Newt before he took a step back and finally continued, “As I was saying, Y/N wants to be a runner and I honestly want to see it happen. It might sound shucking crazy to some of you, it did for me for a second: sending our only shebean to the maze but when she told me for herself why she wanted to, I couldn’t see her as anything else but out there running in the maze for us, sorry Clint.” the keeper of the Med-Jacks shrugged, “And that’s why she’s here now. So, Y/N, tell them what you told me. Show them you deserve it.”

Minho looked at you with reassurance, signalling you to start so you sat up straighter in your seat. Your eyes left his as he walked back to his seat and travelled to the others. They all watched you with anticipation, except for Newt who turned away immediately and muttered something under his breath.

Seeing him so against you broke your heart. Actually, it felt worse than that. It felt like he didn’t just crack your heart into a million pieces but put it back together in the most painful way possible, not even closing it up properly so it could bleed out slowly with every beat being an agonising torture. Then, he ripped it out of you and held it in his hands with a smile on his face.

You could feel tears well in your eyes and all of the sudden you didn’t want to talk anymore. But before you could back out Alby spoke up, “Y/N, if you’re just going to sit there I suggest you let us know so you can stop wasting our time.”

That hurt too but just enough to get you out of your trance. You cleared your throat and shifted in your seat. No. You absolutely wanted to be a runner. You wanted to help. You wanted to show those Creators that they couldn’t just trap you all there.

“I-I… I want to be a runner.” you started, your voice shaking. You cleared your throat, “I-I was the one who asked Minho to make a runner.” you saw out of the corner of your eye that Newt had looked up at you then, “I know that’s a job a shank probably wants to avoid, shuck I even did, but… but now it’s different.”

Minho gave you an approving nod and you found confidence as you continued to speak, “I hate the Creators. If you’ve ever been close to me, you’ll know this. I hate how they’re playing at us and keeping us trapped here. They killed Nick yesterday and I’m tired of lying around and watching my friends die in front of me. I want to get back at them, I want to kill them but they’ll kill me first if I do that. And that’s why I want to get out there. I want to play by their rules so they don’t have a reason to kill me. I want to live so we can get out of here.”

You stood up. Your voice having much more control now, “There is a way out there, we just haven’t figured it out! And I want to be there to help! Thinking about it now, it’s killing me that I haven’t done this any sooner! Honestly, I don’t know if I’m going to make much of a difference until I’m out there, so let me run. At least I know I’m trying. I’d rather be unsafe out there, contributing to a way out then being safe in here, staying trapped.”

“I don’t care if you think I can’t do it because I’m a girl and I’m not one of the strongest - because I’m going to shucking prove you wrong. I’ll train hard. I’ll be smart. I’ll run fast. I’m not going to give up even if my legs are screaming at me to stop and I’m going to memorize every path out there, even when it shucking changes! And you can bet on Minho’s hair that I’m not going to die. I’m a fighter and I’m not going to let them take my life again. I’m not going to let them kill me in their hands - I won’t allow it!”

“I need to be in the maze. I need to help solve it because I will, I promise. I’m going to make sure every shank in the Glade knows there’s a way out and that all the work they do here isn’t going to lead to their deaths. We will get out of this klunk place and I want to help.” you breathed, then turned to Alby knowing the decision ultimately rested on him, “So let me out there. I beg you. Let me be a runner.”

Your breathing was heavy once you finished your spiel. Your eyes danced from Keeper to Keeper.

Minho was smiling at you brightly, impressed that you sounded even more powerful than you had earlier. Clint had a slightly sad expression on his face but smiled up and nodded at you, as if he knew he was going to lose a Med-Jack already but was happy to lose you if you were going to be a runner. Frypan was smiling at you next to him. Gally and Winston where whispering to each other, both of them nodding. Even Alby looks convinced but he tried not to show it. Newt wasn’t looking at you at all. He had his angry eyes set on Alby, urging him to talk.

The leader got to his feet, “Alright. Thank you Y/N. I will save my thoughts until the end of the Gathering, before we decide Y/N’s fate. So, let’s hear everyone else’s. One by one.” he turned to Newt and said sarcastically, “Stop with the dagger-eyes, shank. We’ll start with you since we probably won’t be able to shut you up later.”

Newt immediately took it upon him to stand up right away. He glared at you, causing you to sink back to your seat, before he turned to the rest of the keepers. “You’re actually going to shuckin’ eat up all that klunk?”

You knew it even before he started speaking that everything that would come out of Newt’s mouth would hurt. But shuck, it hurt. Like, really, really hurt. Hurt like you were one of the poor animals a Slicer was cutting up slowly. You hung your head down and fought back the tears.

“We don’t just let buggin’ anyone be a runner - certainly not shanks who ask for it! Who’s ever asked to be a bloody runner?! She’s out of her buggin’ mind! How is she gonna go memorizing the maze if something is so obviously  shucking wrong in her head? We only take the fastest, strongest and best Gladers around and honestly, I don’t think Y/N bloody fits that job description!”

Minho was about to interrupt, feeling the anger boil inside of him but Alby stopped him. You on the other hand, suddenly couldn’t stop the tears rolling down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away quickly before anyone noticed but you could feel their eyes on you as Newt continued.

“She’s just a girl! Just a small, pathetic girl who thinks she’s got the klunk to run in that god-forbid Maze! She won’t last a shucking day out there, she won’t be able to handle it at all! She’s too weak!! The grievers are going to eat her alive the moment they see shucking her! Tear her limb by limb with their arms and trust me, they’re gonna bloody enjoy it!!”

You let out a small gasp and your hand quickly covered your mouth as Newt visualised your gruesome death.You fought back a sob, refusing to look up at anyone.

“You shut the shuck up!” Minho yelled, getting up and ignoring Alby’s restraints. “How shucking dare you talk about her dying, you slinthead shuck-face shank!”

Newt threw his hands up in exasperation, “I’m just bein’ bloody honest! She steps out there and she’s dead. She’s not goin’ out there to buggin’ run, she’s goin’ out there to shucking kill herself! She’s not even goin’ to help find a way out. She’s not going to solve the shucking maze!!”

“I am going to!!” you surprised yourself among all the others when your voice raised to a scream and you were on your feet. “And I’m not going to shucking die either, you shank!”

Tears were rolling out from your cheeks as your furious eyes met Newt’s shocked ones. You hated screaming at him already but you just couldn’t take it anymore. They all stared for a moment and then Newt’s angered expression returned, his voice was heavy with sarcasm, “Yeah? You gonna solve the buggin’ maze now?!”

“Yes!!” you screamed back, taking steps closer. “I’m going to find our way out, solve the maze and find our way home!!”

Newt didn’t step down, “You’re going to die!!”

“I am not!”

“We just shuckin’ lost Nick, we can’t bloody lose you!”

“You’re not gon-“

“Y/N just bloody shut up! Stop it! Can’t you see we can’t risk it! You’re too bloody important to this shuckin’ Glade. We can’t lose you! W-We-“ he lets out an angry grunt, “I can’t lose you!! Okay?! I can’t shucking lose you!! I feel like I just got you and I can’t blood lose you!!”

It was like everything suddenly paused. It got very, very quiet. You couldn’t seem to respond and just watched Newt, tears in his eyes, as he looked at you. He no longer looked angry. He looked sorrowful. His eyebrows were knit together and his lips curled into a frown.

“I-I just can’t lose you, Y/N. You’re too important not just to the buggin’ Glade but to me. Haven’t you bloody even thought about that?” he breathed, his voice cracking. “If I lost you to the Maze, I-I… I don’t know what I-d-“ his breathing caught up with his words and he couldn’t seem to continue.

Tears fell from his eyes and he tore his eyes from you, whipping his head to the side before he muttered under his breath, “Shuck it. Next keeper.”

Newt falls back into his seat. His elbows propped to his knees and he buried his hands to his face. His body shook and you could see him biting down on his lip as he tried not to cry loudly.

You watched him crying in his seat and felt a sob tempting to burst from you. You knew that you broke him, just like he had broken you earlier - and understanding how awful he felt made you so guilty. You couldn’t bear it, you wanted to reach out to him but then Alby started talking, urging the other keepers to speak as well. So instead you sat back in your own seat and tried to listen.

Winston was the first to speak. “Y/N’s not keen on being a Slicer but the few times she’s at the Bloodhouse, she’s giving 200%. I don’t doubt she’ll do the same at any job - even running out there in the maze.”

“She’s the strongest girl I’ve ever known.” Gally stated with confidence right after Winston spoke.

“She’s the only girl you’ve ever known, slinthead.” Minho scoffed.

Gally went red immediately and quickly corrected himself, “W-well, she puts some of my builders to shame! She’s a strong one. She can do it.”

Clint spoke next, keeping it simple enough for you to pay attention to, “Y/N’s a great Med-Jack and I’ll miss her when she becomes a runner.”

You sent the three a sad smile but honestly, you couldn’t keep up with everyone else. It was like their voices went in one ear then out the other without having a chance to get to your brain, but by the looks on their faces they seemed at least half supporting. However, It didn’t help that as you looked at each keeper, at the corner of your eyes you saw Newt crying silently. You know if you actually looked at Newt you’d just end up sobbing. You knew you couldn’t handle it.

If you thought you felt bad a while ago, this was definitely worse. You couldn’t even find the words to describe how badly you felt. It was just so bad that you could swear it was physical pain not emotional pain. Your chest felt tight. You couldn’t breathe properly but tried your best to stay composed. You had to keep wiping the tears that endlessly fell from your eyes too.

Alby cleared his throat, finally having his turn to speak, “Alright, with all of what you said, I say we vote on three options. The first, Y/N shouldn’t be a runner. The second, Y/N becomes a runner. And the third, Y/N tries out being a runner and based on her day, she will or won’t become a runner.” the other keepers nodded. Newt angrily wiped his face before he sat up, sniffling and crossed his arms over his chest looking only at Alby. “Alright, we vote.”

“First option.” he called and Newt immediately raised his hand. His eyes were glued to the floor and no one else moved. He was the only vote and he felt it. You could see tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Okay, 1 vote.” Newt drew his hand down and crossed it over his chest again. Not looking anywhere else but at the spot on the ground he stared at. He didn’t even bother to wipe his falling tears.

“Second option.” Alby called and Minho immediately rose his hand. Winston, Gally, Clint, Zart, Jackson and Frypan raised their hands too.

“7 votes, Third option.” he called and the rest of the council raised their hands. “Four.” he said simply and the decision was clear. Alby turned to you, he got straight to the point “Alright, Y/N, congratulations. You’re a runner.”

Newt shut his eyes when he heard it, more tears falling from them. His hands balled into tight fists under his folded arms. He bit down on his bottom lip so hard it turned white and when he opened his eyes again, he couldn’t find himself to look at anyone.

You looked up at Alby with tearful eyes but sent him a small smile, “Thank you.” you whispered then looked at everyone else in the room and repeated, “Thank you.”

“Prove what you said, alright?” Alby said, putting a hand to your shoulder before turning to the rest of the council, “Dismissed.”

Newt was the first to rise, pushing himself past the other Keepers. Your eyes followed him and you saw the blonde put a hand to his mouth as sound of his sob made it to your ears right before he sprinted out of the room.

Your eyes were glued at the door and you felt the other Keepers watching you. You wished you had gone after him but then you suddenly couldn’t find the energy to move at all. Tears fell from your eyes without warning and then a sob finally escapes you. Your vision gets blurred and it gets hard to breath as you started to cry.

You bent forward to your lap, hiding your face from everyone else, and didn’t stop yourself when you let out a wail. You cried harder than you did when you were alone in the Deadheads. Even harder than you did when you woke from your nightmare.

Minho quickly approached you, grabbing your arms to get you to sit up and cry into his side. He waved the rest of the keepers to leave and they did with sorry expressions on all of their faces.

The asian’s strong hands held you as you cried. He rubbed your back and hushed you to calm but it didn’t work. Not one bit. He couldn’t relax you like Newt did.

Your hands gripped the fabrics of his shirt tightly as wails escaped you. You didn’t care anymore if anyone heard you. You sobbed so hard it started to physically hurt everywhere.

You probably deserved to feel like this, though. You were a terrible person. You hurt Newt, you made him cry. He was the epitome of goodness in the Glade and you broke him by doing something so selfish. It made you feel like a criminal.

You were thankful that they let you be a runner but now you didn’t even know if you were happy about it anymore. You wish it just never had to happen like this because you knew something devastating came out of all of this happening.You felt yourself sob even harder when you finally admitted it in your head:

———————————————————————————————————

You surprised yourself with how well you were able to lie to Newt. You got yourself to pretend to sleep again when he came to wake you. You greeted him and Minho normally as well. You acted just like any other day, even when it wasn’t.

In fact, the day had already started different as you were shocked that the only two runners that were about to run into the maze were your two best friends. Apparently, all the other Runners backed out because of yesterday’s events. You felt yourself get angry for some reason but Minho told you to think nothing of it. He already half expected it and they had to get going.

You huffed angrily but Newt reassured you it was fine and all the feelings from moments ago came back. But you kept your cool, You were able to completely keep your composure while Newt was around. However, it was another story now that he was gone.

The moment he was out of your sight your thoughts went wild and as you turned on your heel, you tripped at your own feet. You groaned when you hit the ground of the glade, quickly pushing yourself up and walking briskly into the kitchen to grab something to eat. You felt a blush on your cheeks the whole time and it wasn’t because you so clumsily fell.

Newt was just in your mind to no fail the whole morning. When you remembered that he kissed your forehead, you immediately felt your heart race. The words he said afterwards made you think you’d have cardiac arrest. You didn’t even want to get started with thinking about what Minho meant when he mentioned finding Newt every morning.

Did… did he mean that Newt had been sleeping next to you ever since the first night you arrived at the Glade? Had he held your had through the entire night all these months? Did he sit on that uncomfortable chair all night, too?

‘That must have been uncomfortable.’ you thought, and a loud clang pulled you from your thoughts suddenly as you dropped the metal tools in the more-than-normally-quiet Med-hut that you were attempting to organize. You muttered a quick apology as the two boys looked over at you, quickly picking the tool up.

Ugh, your clumsiness has definitely upped its game with Newt related thoughts flustering your entire system. You felt a little bad because of what happened yesterday but honestly, you would rather not think about it. You didn’t want to think about Nick again and get upset. You joked that you would have to thank Newt for doing what he did cause it kept those horrid thoughts away pretty well.

Another metal clang pulls you from your thoughts and you realized a tool slipped from your hands yet again.

Before you could even pick it up or apologize, Jeff spoke, “Y/N, maybe you want to take a break?”

You took a deep breath then shook your head quickly, “No, I’m fine. I’m sorry I’m so clumsy right now.” you said in one breath as you picked up the tool and fixed it more properly.

“No, Y/N, it’s fine. Alby wants to speak with you anyway. Go have lunch then meet up with him. Now.” it was Clint who spoke this time and you just stared at him for a moment. It sounded more like an order than an option. He urged you to go, motioning towards the door. “Go, it’s fine. We’ve got it from here.”

You nodded and sent a small smile before heading out the door. You ate your lunch quickly, trying your best to push away all thoughts of Newt. You were going to talk to Alby, he was probably going to give you orders and you had to be focused. You put your empty plate into the kitchen and went to find Alby.

Your eyes travelled to the maze walls while you walked out onto the field. You couldn’t help but hope Newt and Minho were alright. You still didn’t think it was right that the other runners had backed down from today’s run. The maze, once again, was the only hope for something out there.

So far, it had been the only place there seemed to be a chance since Newt said not every area had been mapped out yet. So maybe, somewhere out there was a glorious exit. Maybe the Creators would be waiting there for you and for whatever shuck they had in store, whether it be an explanation or congratulations or whatever, all you wanted to do was send a fist flying right at their faces.

“Y/N,” Alby suddenly greeted.

“Clint said you wanted to speak to me?” you chirped as your angry thoughts disappeared and your eyes tore from the walls and to Alby. He looked absolutely exhausted. You couldn’t blame him, he was barking around orders all morning since a lot of Gladers were slacking off.

He breathed a heavy sigh, “Yes.” he started, crossing his arms, He didn’t waste any time getting straight to the point. “I need you to check on everyone in the Glade. Lift their spirits, get them working. I know that’s a bit of a weird task, but I know you can do it.”

You suddenly remembered what Newt told you last night about bringing hope and smiles to the Glade. When the second-in-command had said it, you were a little too caught up with everything else he said and the way he held you and the way he looked at you and the way he- no, stop. Focus. You didn’t really give it too much thought but as Alby implied it you never realized that it was true.

You knew Newt wasn’t just saying those things last night to make you feel better but you couldn’t help but feel doubtful about it. You couldn’t have been that important to the Glade. You weren’t a Keeper or on the council. You were just a Med-Jack. Did you really-

“Y/N?” Alby’s deep voice interrupts your thoughts.

You nearly jumped but quickly composed yourself. You knew with the look Alby gave you that you didn’t have much of a choice. “Of course, I’ll try my best.”

The tall boy seemed to smile, like really smile, for the first time. “Good that.”

——————

Before heading up to everyone, you tried your best to remember every little word Newt had told you last night. It helped build up some confidence for what you were about to do because you honestly felt nervous. You remembered how Newt said you were the one who did so much for the Glade. How you cared for everyone. How you made people smile. How you gave hope to the other Gladers. You remembered the truth laced in his voice as he spoke, especially when he asked you to believe him. Right now, you wanted to so badly.

The Gladers around looked so glum and defeated. You really hoped you Alby and Newt were right to put their faith in you to pick everyone’s spirits up. Their lack of liveliness would have made you even more nervous but you confidently nodded at yourself. If Newt believed you really were the hope in this place, then you were going to try your hardest to be just that and not let him down.

It was a little awkward at first, walking up to the Gladers and asking if they were alright when you knew that they obviously weren’t. You were too focused on trying to make them smile but it only ended up taking form in your obvious clumsiness and awkwardness. However, when a glader laughed at you slightly when you slipped in the mud, your nerves seemed to melt away.

It came naturally after that. You hopped from one place to the next, helping them out and striking up a conversation completely unrelated to the events of yesterday. They responded well. You encouraged them to work, reminding them gently that everyone needed to do their job no matter what. When you had to, you mentioned how Nick would have liked to see it that way and that motivated even the saddest of Gladers - even Gally.

Soon, the entire Glade was back to working. Sure it wasn’t at their top game nor were they working as fast as usual but at least they weren’t moping around anymore. Even the runners who backed down from their run were working twice as hard as everyone else but that was mostly because you guilt-tripped them.

As you stood under one of the trees by the homestead and watched the other Gladers work, a part of you did believe you were at least even a little bit of what Newt claimed you to be. Even Alby commended you since he couldn’t get the boys to work earlier. It was probably his method of screaming and scolding, but still. You got them all to work again just fine.

You realized or at least welcomed the thought with the evidence right in front of you, that you did make a difference in the Glade. You did even though you barely did anything. It was like it was effortless.

However, this did make you think: what if you did put the effort?

It wasn’t like it was you weren’t putting effort into what you were doing. It took a lot of resources to cater to everyone whether it be as a Med-Jack or just yourself. You just couldn’t help but feel you could do something more.

You loathed the shuck-faces who put you and all your friends in the Glade and you’ve always wanted to get back at them. But ever since last night, now you were determined to take action.

It didn’t feel enough that you were just being a Med-Jack anymore. The Creators still had one up against you, they could kill any of you just like they did Nick. And even as one of the ‘dcotors’ in the Glade, there was nothing you could have done to save him.

You wanted to get back at them in the best way possible. Some way that would make them feel even the slightest bit of how much you loathed them. But how? What could you do to them? What was one thing that could possibly make them klunk their pants?

Your eyebrows furrowed together as your eyes danced around the Glade. Honestly, if you could, you’d like to kill them. Maybe just like they killed Nick for the irony, so they could get a taste of their own medicine. But you knew they would kill you first and if you did something as rash as finding a new way out.

Unless…

You felt your eyes grow wide as realisation hit you. Your head slowly turned towards the wide open doors of the Maze. ‘…Unless you played by their rules.’

Your eyes traced over the opening of the Maze. Nick trying to find a way out certainly angered the Creators, but if you found a way out through the maze that they built - they couldn’t kill you for that right? Wasn’t that the whole point of the maze in the first place?

What if you had solved the Maze? Alright, maybe you wouldn’t be the exact one to do it but you certainly wanted to be the one to help. You couldn’t bare realizing that all this time, you weren’t helping them find a way out. If there was absolutely anything you could do, you knew there wasn’t really an option to back down from aiding the journey of finding a way out.

You felt like your mind and heart were racing in a hundred miles as the Maze all of a sudden didn’t seem as terrifying to you as it had on your first day in the Glade. You couldn’t think straight, since a lot of other little thought battled the big one on your head.

Half of you already regretted this plan, the other half encouraged it but it was all too late when your eyes quickly spotted the muscular Asian known as the Keeper of the Runners entering the Glade and before you could give it another thought you found yourself running towards him.

You ran as fast as you possibly could, wanting to prove to yourself you were up for what you have just set your heart on. You practically crashed into Minho when you reached him.

He had a huge grin on his face when he realized it was you, “Y/N!” he beamed and you were happy to see someone actually smiling to greet you today, but before he could make any of his famous sassy remarks, you cut him off and declared breathlessly.

“I want to be a runner.”

———————

Minho burst out laughing after gaping at you for a second and it made you scowl. “What the shucking shuck Y/N. What has gotten into you?” he laughed.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, pain building in your chest. It was the first time you ever felt offended by your sassy best friend and it showed on your face.

“What shank has gotten you with th-this klunk… in your…. holy shuck, you’re serious.” the tone in his voice dropped immediately and his expression fell. His dark eyes staring down at yours with a curious look.

You nibbled at your bottom lip and nodded up at him. The boy let out a deep sigh, shifting his weight to one leg.  He ran a hand through his hair, the other on his hip. He glanced at the open maze doors before turning back to you, shifting his weight to the other leg, his hands finding the harness on his chest. “Okay, tell me why. And why I should even consider it.”

Your eyes lit up and a determined expression found your face. You uncrossed your arms, allowing them to move as you talked. Your entire being filling with purpose as you spoke.

“I need to be a runner, Minnie. There’s a way out there and I want to help find it. It’s killing me that I haven’t helped any sooner.” You felt your voice start to rise, “You know I hate the Creators. I know you know and I want to prove them wrong - that we aren’t meant to stay trapped here. That they can’t just keep killing us and playing with us! I can’t just sit here and watch people die anymore!!”

“Don’t tell me you think I can’t do it. Don’t give me that klunk just cause I’m a girl - you of all people know I can do it. I know you do, don’t deny it! I’ve chased your sorry butt around this Glade plenty of times!” Minho scoffed but before he could say anything you continued, “And I’m not going to get myself killed - I’m not going to allow it, not in their hands. I’m going to help you find a way out. I need to help you find a way out, I feel like I’m going to go insane if I don’t. So make me a Runner. Let me go out there, Minnie.”

Minho took in a heavy breath. You definitely had more drive than any of his runners, he thought. He watched as the fire never left your eyes. You were right, you did put up a good run against him. Plus, he knew you had the brains for it too. You were one of his closest friends but that wasn’t why this was his next response, but rather because he felt how intensely you wanted to be out there, it reminded him a lot of himself, really.

“Alright,” he started and your expression didn’t change, “Alright, it’s ultimately Alby’s decision and he won’t like it but I’m going to get them together and pitch you in.”

Your expression fell for a second, you weren’t really expecting anything but knowing Minho’s support shocked you then it made you really, really happy. A wide, thankful smile appeared on your lips as you breathed out in relief.

“But I want you to be there for the council meeting. They need to see what I just saw from you just now. It’s your only hope if you want to be allowed out there.” Minho added and you didn’t really get it but before you could thank him or hug him, he left and ran towards Alby who had been watching you both from a distance.

You watched him go and felt a surge of hope within you. The smile didn’t leave your face. Minho didn’t really give you a straight answer to what he thought but you could feel that he believed in you.

“Y/N!” you didn’t have to turn to see who it was. Overwhelmed by everything that just happened, you couldn’t stop yourself from turning on your heel and running towards Newt.

You crashed into him in a tight embrace, arms wrapping around his chest. His eyes went wide in shock, and a blush creeped onto his cheeks. His arms wrapped around yours gently but before he could say anything you quickly pulled away and began dragging him towards where the other Keepers were already starting to gather.

“Come on, Newt! Come on!” you said excitedly, hand clasped in his as you pulled him to follow you.

Newt had a huge grin plastered on his face as he laughed at your energy, “What’s bloody goin’ on, Y/N?”

“Council Meeting! I’ll be there too! Hurry up!” you continued excitedly. Newt was a Runner too, you knew he’d be as excited at this new development.

He let out another laugh, tightening his hand around yours as he started to follow at your pace, “And why’s that, love?”

You looked at him with an ecstatic expression and said confidently, “I’m going to be a runner!”

All of the sudden, you couldn’t move forward. Confused, you spun to face him only to find Newt still, the expression in his face making your grin fade. It was like the Glade had suddenly gone very, very silent.

You stood staring at each other for a moment, hand in hand. His grip loosened completely.

“You’re joking… right?” his expression was absolutely mortified. The colour was gone from his face. It was like he saw a dismembered Nick in front of him, not you.

“N-no…” you started, dropping his hand as yours gripped the sides of your pants nervously.

His eyes left you. You could have sworn tears welled up in them as his breathing grew heavy.

“Newt?”

His eyes snapped back at you and this time his expression changed. He was furious. He raised his voice to a scream, his accent thick “Did that shuck-face Minho make you bloody do this since his runner’s are being a bunch’a bloody slintheads?!”

“No, Newt! I wanted to-“

“Bloody shuck, Y/N!” his voice strained, “You’ve completely lost your mind! This is complete klunk!”

You were frozen in your place. You felt your lip tremble and couldn’t look up at Newt, you felt like you suddenly didn’t know him.

“I’m gonna beat the klunk out of that shank!” He yells then let out a frustrated sigh, raking a hand in his dampened hair angrily.  “I’m going to talk to Alby and make sure you never become a runner!”

He quickly ran past you and you still couldn’t find yourself to move. You felt like your heart had been crushed into a million pieces. You could hear his voice yelling at a distance.