This journey has been painful. The most painful, in fact. I have had days when I could not breathe, months when speaking was not possible. Silenced and in agony. I feel myself healing, and it is not the kind of healing I thought I would be able to do. I have proven to myself that I am stronger than I thought I could be . I die a little bit every day, and I plant something beautiful in my brokenness. I was not always this way. There were times — years, when I was pure and lovely. Then I was broken, beaten, and made to submit to things I could not bear to relive long enough to tell you about it. I was perfect — until I wasn’t. Then I was broken. So broken that I could not love, could not live, could not hold a conversation without wishing I was healed and whole or at least a lot less like me. I am healing now, but I am not whole. I am granting my wishes with blood and sweat. I am working diligently to create a safe space in my bones, to quiet the noise in my skull, and to suture the wounds this world has left me with. Scars are like markers, they tell me where I have been. They remind me of the hell I was able to crawl out of. They show me where to plant the beautiful things and when they break open from time to time, they show me what I am made of. I have strong bones, and strong fibers that connect me to myself. There have been countless, woeful moments. Moments when I wished I could escape from myself, but it was not me I wanted to escape from. I became my own metaphor for misery. I was not the one who forced my hands to wander to dangerous places, or caused my heart to shatter. I was the one trying to protect myself. I was surviving long enough to understand what living tasted like. 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐇 𝐀 𝐑 𝐃! . . . . . . #ashleyanne #aarpoetry #newpoem #newgraphic #instagood #indiepoetry #prose #long #preview #lifeishard #lifeisbeautiful #wordsofwisdom #wordsmith #poetess #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #insatpoet #creativewriting #womenwhowrite #spilledink #lit #qotd #hardenoughlife #thestruggleisreal https://www.instagram.com/p/B9PMhHzBBNK/?igshid=wb9whvxbrtd8