#newfather

but I wanted this blog to show my journey with Ocyus and becoming father and son and the truth of that is that this process is so much more than just good things. So I’m taking the time to note the bad with the good. I’m not going to hide the bad behind me and stand in front of the good and glorify this process. My son is sad. He misses his mom. What child wouldn’t? He’s starting to realize she lies to him. She’s promising him a bedroom, Minecraft sheets, to pick him up, take him to their new house, go to the pumpkin patch with his sister she no longer has custody of, give him surprises and gifts, a Minecraft cake. At first he believed it and he told me she had a bedroom for him. I had to break his heart and tell him she lied to him. She didn’t have a home for him, not even a bedroom. His heart is breaking in front of me and I’m running around in circles trying to pick up all of the pieces without missing any and put it back together. I hope one day he understands that everything I’ve done for him I’ve done out of love. On a happier note, I was granted temporary guardianship as of yesterday. I am swearing and signing the official documents today. Temporary was granted until our hearing on the 25th. I can’t wait to hear that I can officially and legally provide him with all the care that I need or want to. I love my kid.

Ek masoom si nigaho ne mujhe iss tarah dekha 

Ki duniya dekh baithne ka gurur humse chin liya

Wo roshni dekhke musmusaati  nazre jab pehli bar mujhse takrayi

Duniya ka sabse bade ajoobe ko samne dekha

Kabhi lagta hai khuda ne mere khwabo ko tarashke bheja ho use

kabhi apni kabiliyat pe shak hota hai use dekhke

un chote hatho ne jab meri ungli pakadi 

Wo jaan meri jaan ban gayi, bus ek nazar jo usne mujhe dekha