#never not thinking

I see it as a punishment, not an opportunity.

Too many bad things happen that are just a part of what living is.

That's not to say I think this is what it's like for others. I think there are others who actually see and I guess experience life as an opportunity.

I just don't feel like that applies to me at all.

If I could maybe explain it more it'd be like, I'm a soul in punishment. I see it as if 'everyone' is I guess in a way a soul or some ball of energy. Just like everything is energy. Some do different things. I feel like my energy was supposed to be connected with something different. Something that just was; that didn't have a consciousness, no sense of self, no inner voices, no thoughts. Instead, it's like my energy got smacked out of its original trajectory by something and was put on course for something that wasn't supposed to happen. And now im just here and I wasn't supposed to be.