#neqio

Jue woke up being lifted out of hir bed. Ze flailed instinctively.

Sharp words ze could not make out. Arms tighter around hir legs.

The blurry world flipped. Ze was suddenly dizzy.

As ze slowly came to awareness of hir surroundings, ze recognized the back of Ngionah's jacket and hir bedroom floor moving quickly below hir head.

Ze did not like to talk when ze could not hear hirself, but it quickly became a choice between that and vomiting all over hir face and Ngionah's uniform. "PutmedownI'mgoingtothrowup!"

Maybe Ngionah could tell ze was serious, because ē-ziu put hir down very quickly.

Ze tried to steady hirself with one hand against the wall.

Ngionah took the few steps back to hir bedside table, grabbed hir glasses and hearing aids, and returned to hir, still moving very quickly. Ē-ziu tried to push hir hearing aids into hir ears.

Jue had to take them and put them in hirself. Ngionah was doing it wrong and it hurt and they would not work properly. They beeped when ze turned them on.

"Hurry," ē-ziu said as ze put hir glasses on. "We must move quickly."

"What's- What is- going on?" ze said as ē-ziu pulled hir by the hand to the laundry closet and unlocked it.

Ze was surely going to die. It was almost funny. They had gone to all that trouble to save hir for a piece of paper and now ze was going to die anyway.

"We are evacuating from the palace," said Ngionah. "We will meet with your family further along. Come."

Ngionah unlocked another door at the back of the closet. The emergency exit that Jue was not allowed a key to. Ē-ziu pushed hir through ahead of ē-ziun and locked it again behind them.

Stumbling along in hir bare feet through the dusty passage after Ngionah, ze remembered what ē-ziu had explained to hir ages ago in case of an attack on the palace. A fragile, foreign emotion- hope- awoke in hir.

It might not be the rebels Talí was with. It could be Wend-Ki'an soldiers or some other group that would not hesitate to kill hir. But… it could be Talí's rebels.

Ngionah's grip on hir wrist was very tight, and ē-ziu was much stronger than hir. There was no way ze could escape.

They met Raiqiongshē, Alokti, Onarys, Teixal, and Neqio at an intersection with another narrow passage. Jue could tell they were going up towards the surface by the burn in hir calves.

Then more nobles, and Sei, and the betrothal candidates except for Waleiyi, and Jiremau (ze did not look at Jiremau. Hir wife). They would be in one of the pyramids soon, surely, and then they would disappear and Jue would not get another chance.

The rebels were not going to find them in time.

Jue opened hir mouth and screamed.

Raiqiongshē slapped hir. "Be quiet."

Jue choked on hir scream, reeling.

Raiqiongshē had never hit hir before. No one had ever hit hir before.

Everyone was looking at hir in horror.

"Do you want to be found?" Raiqiongshē said sharply. "Stay quiet, Jeilajue, unless you want to find out exactly what these insurgents will do to you."

Jue did not know what an insurgent was, but Raiqiongshē was afraid of the rebels, and Talí had said the rebels would not hurt hir.

Maybe they would anyway. Talí's word did not mean certainty. It did not even mean certainty of what Talí wanted. It definitely did not mean that every rebel would follow it.

Jue did not really care what they were going to do with hir. Marriage was worse than anything else ze could imagine.

Thinking of Fiitsãn and Talí and everything they had talked about, looking at Mkera, ze knew the empire had to fall even if ze was going to fall with it.

Everybody cared that ze had screamed and nobody cared that Raiqiongshē had hit hir. Raiqiongshē could get away with anything, because he was a grownup and abled and the Elder Emperor.

Nobody should be able to get away with anything like Raiqiongshē could with Jue and parents could with children and the empire could with the people both inside and outside of it.

Jue breathed in all the way and screamed again.

Ngionah clapped a hand over hir mouth. "Stop. Stop. You need to stop. I know this is scary but it is not the time for a tantrum."

Jue desperately hoped they had heard hir. Ze hoped ze had been loud enough. It was hard to tell how loud ze was being even when things were normal and ze did not really know how well noise travelled through the palace, but ze had been as loud as ze possibly could. Ze hoped it was enough to follow.

Ze did not like the feeling of Ngionah's hand over hir mouth or the way ē-ziu was holding hir to keep hir still.

"I'll be quiet," ze said, or tried to say, voice muffled by ē-zius hand. "You can let go." But ze did not think Ngionah heard, with Raiqiongshē talking too. Hir throat felt thick with held-back tears.

"Just pick o-hān up and carry o-hān," Raiqiongshē was saying. "We do not have time for o-hān to be difficult. If o-hā is going to act like a child, o-hā deserves to be treated like one."

Ngionah picked hir up, hand still over hir mouth. Ze wanted to kick but ze did not want to hurt ē-ziun.

At least Ngionah held hir tightly enough that ze did not get jostled around very much. At least ē-zius hand over hir mouth meant ē-ziu was pretty much holding hir head still. Even if it hurt.

The rebels had not found them yet. Maybe ze should delay them somehow.

Ze did not want to hurt Ngionah.

Ze did not want them to hurt hir again.

Ze really, really did not want them to escape and take hir with them.

The way Ngionah had to hold hir to keep ē-zius hand over hir mouth meant ze was not as trapped as ze could be. Ze could, probably, put up enough of a fight to make ē-ziun put hir down.

"Sorry," ze mumbled into Ngionah's hand, and kicked ē-ziun with hir freer leg.

Ē-ziu stumbled in surprise.

Jue kept fighting ē-zius hold on hir. It was not really violence, ze reasoned, just making hirself harder to hold onto.

Ze was not as big or strong as Ngionah, but ze was not small, either. Ze should be hard to carry without hir cooperation.

"Stop," Ngionah hissed. "Stop it, Jue, or I'm going to drop you. You're going to hurt yourself. Stop."

Jue shoved harder against ē-zius chest and felt ē-zius grip finally slip.

It did hurt when ze hit the hard ground. It hurt all along hir arm and side. Ze bit hir cheek and tasted blood. Hir eyes teared up.

Being hurt was a delay. A delay was what ze wanted.

"Oww." Ze let the tears fall.

Ze went limp as Ngionah tried to help hir back up.

This was embarrassing. Everyone was seeing hir be vulnerable, be hurt, be a screw-up, and they would never forget about it.

Raiqiongshē stomped back over and grabbed Jue's other arm, hard. He was so angry. Jue was always making him angry. Ze hated making him angry.

"Jeilajue," Raiqiongshē said, almost to quiet for Jue to hear. "You are an embarrassment and you are putting us all in danger. A worthy emperor would not do this. I was clearly wrong to agree that you would not need to be sedated for this."

Jue stayed limp. Ze was not sure ze could stop right now. Ze felt faint and sick.

"If you continue to refuse to cooperate, I will arrange for you and your wife to be placed in the same bedchamber when we get to our destination," Raiqiongshē said. "We both know you do not want that, but you are testing the limits of my tolerance for your unreasonableness."

Ze was not in control of the tears anymore. There was a little sobbing gasp.

Then, in both directions around hir, people started shouting.

Ngionah pulled hir behind ē-ziun so hard it wrenched both hir shoulders.

It was loud, and confusing, and Jue was on the floor with hir back to the wall and hiding hir head in hir knees on instinct. It was too much different noise for hir hearing aids to process for hir and all ze could hear was hir own breathing and hir own blood rushing.

Talí had promised they would not hurt hir.

Ze was going to die for sure. They did not need hir anymore, if they even knew ze had been helping in the first place.

It would all be over soon, one way or another.

"FREEZE OR I'LL BLOW US ALL UP!"

Everything went suddenly silent. Now it really was just Jue's shallow breathing and fast heartbeat.

Ze squeezed hir arms tighter around hirself. Ze did not recognize the voice.

"Drop your weapons."

Ngionah bent down, hand coming into Jue's narrow field of vision between ē-zius boots, and set ē-zius gun on the floor in front of them.

Jue very slowly raised hir head just enough to see what was going on.

Ze did not recognize the person holding the bomb by their face, either. It was a big crowd of people, maybe bigger than ze had expected. Ze could not see Fiitsãn, and Talí lived so far away ze doubted they would be anywhere here.

There were guns. Jue had been shot at a couple times before but it had never hit hir or really gotten close. Ze wondered if that was going to change. If they hit the right places, ze would not even know it had happened until ze was no longer hirself or in this world.

Raiqiongshē looked like he could not decide if he was angry or scared or both. He and Alokti- who was visibly shaking but standing her ground- had put themselves on either side of Onarys, who had both hands on his pregnant belly. Teixal's cheeks were very pink like she was frustrated and she had her hands up in surrender. Jue could not see Neqio, who must be somewhere among the other nobles and guards with them.

"Your Majesty," said Ngionah slowly, "I need you to stay very still."

Jue knew ze was a valuable target. It would be politically inconvenient if ze died right now. That was why they had gone to all that effort to stop hir. People got especially upset when ze was threatened. Talí's rebels would not have kidnapped hir if they had not thought ze would be useful as a hostage.

If they shot hir, it would make a point. People liked using hir to make points.

Ze could use hirself to make a point, too.

Raiqiongshē, everyone, they would never forgive hir for siding against them. They would never love hir again. Fiitsãn and Talí would never forgive hir if ze did not.

It would be easier to just stay still and let whatever happened, happen.

It was the right thing to do, though. It would show them, show the whole empire, that ze thought the rebels were right. Maybe it would even sway some of the nobles, though ze was not convinced they cared about hir actual opinions and would believe ze was acting under hir own power.

Ze slowly stood up.

"Hey!" The rebel with a gun pointed at hir said. "You! Stay down!"

"What are you doing?" said Ngionah out of the corner of ē-zius mouth. "I told you to stay still."

Jue held out hir empty hands desperately. Ze did not even know how to fight, and anyone could see that ze was not very strong.

Ze took a small step towards them, half-hoping they would shoot hir before ze did something so irreversibly damaging to how people saw hir, how hir family saw hir.

"HEY!"

Ngionah reached for hir arm and froze again when one of the rebels fired a warning shot.

"Wait, wait-"

Fiitsãn's voice.

Jue closed hir eyes and took another step. Ze thought it was worth it but ze did not want to see it coming if ze died and ze did not want to look at Raiqiongshē and see the betrayal and disappointment ze was sure to cause.

Fiitsãn's voice was getting closer. "I told you-"

Nobody shot hir, so ze kept going.

"-ze's on our side."

Warm fingers wove through hirs.

It felt like choking, but Fiitsãn held hir hand like they could trust each other, so ze quietly said, "I think they are right."

Masterpost Previous Next

Taglist (ask to be added/removed):

@cepheusgalaxy @seastarblue @asher-writes

@aro-villain @transmasc-wizard

@stabbydragon @softandwigglybones @albatris