#nephalemheir

whump wheel -> cj emotions, accepting!  ༄

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                time  is  completely  lost  to  her.  it  means  nothing,  as  useless  as  the  ticking  on  her  father’s  clock.  time  doesn’t  matter  as  cj  swings,  loose  in  the  air  against  …  something.  it’s  not  any  of  her  business.  she’s  probably  dead  anyway,  or  dying.  for  real  this  time.  she  tangles  between  real  and  not  real,  alive  and  not.  all  cj  feels  is  that  she’s  a  body,  not  a  girl,  and  not  a  sister.  this  body  curls  up  against  another,  warmer  than  hers,  it  incites  shivers  into  her.  through  the  warmth,  she  can  see  how  it  opposites  her  cold.  and  the  fire  is  warm,  so  cj  curls  around  it.  she  develops  an  awareness  around  the  arms  that  hold  her,  drawing  threads  between  the  swinging  to  realize  she’s  being  carried.  a  soft  noise,  carved  out  of  prey,  leaves  her,  a  pounding  migraine  develops.  fragments  of  a  moment  sewn  together  to  reveal  whatever  the  fuck  happened  to  her.

grumpy x sunshine sentence starters, accepting!  ˎˊ˗

        “ nobody? ”   she echoes,   enjoying the way it reflects around her mind like a song,   and then it moves to her heart.   fiercely special and beloved,   that’s what it met.   her eyelashes flutter against the skin of her cheeks,   flushed and squished against the sunny hammock of home feeling that is madi’s lap.   their fingers tenderly card through her hair,   guiding it out of her eyes where blonde strands are forever falling into her eyes.   she refuses to let allie’s view of the woods to be obscured,   that and the floral fabric of madi’s sundress,   the very one that allie had picked out this morning,   gleefully chattering about how beautiful,   how fitting,   how much sense it made on madi’s body.   gentle fingers peel back the fabric,   dancing as they did so,   so allie could trace over the fair skin and freckles of madi’s knees.   the fairy girl draws patterns and connections and constellations.   

nightmares & sleeping meme, accepting!  ༄

                sleep  has  never  meant  anything  restful,  not  to  cj.  never.  she’d  arouse  everyone  else,  from  very,  very  young,  when  she  could  still  be  held.  the  nightmares  could  be  fought  off,  then,  with  someone  to  share  her  bed,  and  only  pure  comfort.  but  not  anymore.  no  body  in  her  bed  is  enough.  not  even  an  encompassing  being,  intent  on  swallowing  the  world.  

what are your perceptions of me 👁, always accepting! or don't tell me idk i can't decide.  ˎˊ˗

nightmares & sleeping meme, accepting!  ˎˊ˗

        she doesn’t know what makes her do this.   what ruins her and turns her into a monster in the night,   where her head won’t stop creating horrible pictures that she really,   really doesn’t want to think about.   tonight,   it’s that she’s all alone,   and that loneliness turns sharp.   abandoned.   unloved.   the words carved into her skin like brands,   or burned,   maybe.   all she can see is sharp red letters,   jagged and ugly.   something stabbing,   pain,   that makes her sit up,   afraid and startled and no scars but the ones that marr her back.   oh.   allie understands the crying that follows,   made her peace with it,   in a way.   even as she puffs her cheeks out and presses her fingertips to her squeezed shut eyelids,   trying to press it down.   she just needs madi.

        she trails her fingers over spots of pale,   moonlit skin,   freckles that call out to her,   winking from under the blanket.   allie makes sure she’s something soft to wake up to.   delicate fingers tangle into red tresses,   hypnotized by the shine of them,   praying that this is what wakes them,   and not her little huffs of sound.   the fairy girl hears the rumble of her voice,   something like come here,   and they just know,   without words,   what she needs.   it’s too late to make demands.

nightmares & sleeping meme, accepting!  ༄

              “  hm?  oh  … ”    she  really  wasn’t  worrying  about  it.  right  now,  she  was  busy  being  sat  up  and  trying  to  prevent  another  one.  the  methods  included  not  going  back  to  fucking  sleep.  cj  had  bunched  herself  up  at  the  end  of  the  bed,  kicked  off  all  the  covers,  just  to  prove  how  much  she  didn’t  fucking  ask  madi  to  do  any  of  this.  she  never  shouldn’t  stayed.  cj  is,  however,  fucking  exhausted.  which  means  her  little  bundle  of  girl  in  the  moonlight  is  too  easily  coaxed  back  down  to  a  soft  slumber.  she  doesn’t  want  to  look  at  madi  at  all.  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  anywhere  close.

are you allie’s type? (probablyyyy!!!!), always accepting!  ˎˊ˗