#nentindurps

“Dude, uh... sorta think that tracker jacker venom’s getting to your head. Marley’s not here, man. You’re just talking to think air.”

“The baby didn’t make it.”

“Oh my God, Ryder! How are we supposed to pass home ec now? What did you do with all that flour anyway? That bag of baking supplies was our CHILD. It was counting on you not to splatter it all over the room!”

“I have cancer.. and I’ve been given only 3 weeks left..”

“Okay, cut! I know Artie’s the one directing, but guys, this play is terrible. Ryder, please tell me you realize how ridiculous you sound. You’re just telling her you have cancer with a straight face. You don’t even look like you’re sad about it. Where’s your will to live, man!? Try harder next time! Fake some tears, or I’ll come up there and make you cry so that you’re more believable.”

“I can’t believe my roommate’s dating my ex-girlfriend. And I can’t believe he got farther with her than I did. I mean, what the hell! I didn’t even get to touch her boobs. If they start having sex and I can hear them through the walls, that’s it, I’m out of here. ...okay, but I guess they are kinda good for each other. And it makes more sense than me and Marley ever did, but whatever. I still don’t want to have to deal with them deciding to fuck like rabbits once they finally give it up to each other.”

“Okay, promise you won’t be mad at me? I know I lured you here this weekend by telling you we were going to do something really fun, but -- well, it is something really fun! Just maybe not what you were expecting. See, I ordered this game... and, uh, my roommate doesn’t want to play it with me, and she told me I shouldn’t ask anyone else on campus to play it with me because I’m just going to embarrass myself. So I was sort of hoping we could play lots and lots of Hunger Games Monopoly? I’m just really excited about it! I pre-ordered it months ago, and then it finally came and all I could do was open it and attempt to play a game against myself. What do you say? Please?”

[MSG:] It happened again... 

[MSG] Where did Jake find you this time?[MSG] You really need to get a deadlock on your door or something so that you don’t sleepwalk somewhere dangerous, babe!

[MSG:] As long as you’re naked and covered in glow paint, I’m there.

[MSG] When has that ever been something I’d do?[MSG] Oh my gosh. Jake! Stop stealing Ryder’s phone!