#neljostns

he didn’t want to leave andrew with nothing, but what could he possibly say?

you’re so sweet omfg??? ♡

you are behind

my eyelids

as I fall 

asleep

and when I wake

I reach for 

you

but you slip right through

my fingers

for you were nothing but a

fever d r e a m.

aftg get to know me: fave male character

he was up there so he could feel something. but this was something real, the way his stomach tightened when he stepped out onto the rooftop and his heart t r i p p e d when he got too close to the edge.

he didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to feel this, so he thought about the foxes instead. he clung tight to the memory of their unhesitating friendship and their smiles. he pretended the h e a r t b e a t pounding a sick pace in his temples was an exy ball ricocheting off the court walls. he thought of wymack holding him up in december and andrew pushing him down against the bedroom floor. the memories made him weak with grief and loss, but they made him s t r o n g e r, too. 

every time neil fell, though, jean was there to pull him off the ground. jean had nothing to say to neil about his poor performance, neither encouragement nor harsh words. maybe he didn’t have the breath for it anymore.