#needle tw

@carouselofcuriosities &&. said... It’s rather unfortunate that her Master of Deceit is busy. But not unfortunate enough for her to stay away. Eve knows better than to touch — so the deceit sheep sits across the room, bleating in between words, the bleats becoming consecutively deeper, “Master…master…master…hey, Shadow? Shadow? Shaaaadoooooooow?” Pause. . “…Shadowshadowshadowshadowshadowshadow—“

his  minions  adore  him.  yes,  yes  —  it's  true!  if  shadow  milk  says  jump,  not  only  do  they  ask  how  high,  they  also  scuttle  and  scramble  to  jump  the  absolute  HIGHEST  of  the  bunch.  it's  oh  so  very  useful,  barring  the  instances  when  it  ISN'T.  unfortunately,  this  is  one  such  occasion.

❝  ...  ❞  whew.  someone's  making  a  ruckus  today,  isn't  she?  well,  he  supposes  eve  is  ALWAYS  making  a  ruckus  —  but  it's  considerably  less  amusing  when  it's  to  shadow  milk's  detriment.  the  beast  sits  at  his  desk,  back  to  his  minion.  (  he  doesn't  need  to  face  her  —  he  has  eyes  everywhere.  )  dozens  of  colorful  fabric  scraps  decorate  his  workspace.  spools  of  thread  in  countless  hues,  a  smattering  of  buttons  in  a  myriad  of  shapes  and  sizes.  he's  stitching  together  another  one  of  his  many,  many  plushies.  they're  a  common  sight  around  the  spire  —  and  anywhere  else  the  beast  happens  to  linger  for  a  prolonged  period  of  time,  for  that  matter.  (  almost  as  if  they  have  minds  of  their  own  —  a  fact  that  shadow  milk  has  never  confirmed  nor  denied  at  the  risk  of  spoiling  the  fun.  )

this  particular  plushie  just  so  happens  to  resemble  a  certain  minion.  as  a  result,  there's  an  awful  lot  of  details  the  beast  needs  to  embroider  by  hand  —  a  mild  annoyance,  but  worth  it  for  his  art.  though  it  would  be  considerably  easier  if  he  didn't  have  a  cacophonic  sheep  BLEATING  in  his  ear  the  entire  time.

the  teeniest  twinge  of  pain  shakes  shadow  milk  out  of  his  thoughts.  just  his  luck  —  he's  stabbed  himself.  the  beast  stares  at  his  hand,  blinking  emotionlessly  at  the  jam  beading  on  his  fingertip.  then,  clicks  his  tongue.  (  the  wound  will  heal  itself  in  a  matter  of  seconds,  but  its  mere  existence  still  annoys  him.  )  ❝  yeeesss?  ❞  shadow  milk's  head  slowly  swivels.  ❝  is  there  something  you  want  to  share  with  the  class?  ❞

You'd also think I'd be faster at it, and be able to do it painlessly, and with less difficulty.

I am faster in terms of "I don't have to convince myself to stab myself anymore" (which is nice) but not in actual time it takes me from needle touching my skin to the hub or whatever touching my skin.

It sure as hell isn't painless either 😂😭

The main thing is that I don't need cottonballs anymore; I just keep oil off my injection needle and pinch the skin around the needle as I pull it out and then hold it for like fifteen seconds. Since I started doing that 3-4 years ago I've had oil or blood come out twice, and it's because when I was getting the air out of the syringe I got oil on the needle.

claire draws the antidote⸻elpis , as it's designated⸻into the syringe with careful , practiced movements , flicking it once to bring the air bubbles free . only then does she speak , gaze steady as she brings her now - patient into focus , ❛ so ... this is it . there is no turning back … are you ready to become a completely different person ? ❜

these are words she may have intended to land more lightheartedly than they do in the space between them . claire is no longer thinking only of the antidote , but of everything it represents : the long line of offers extended to the woman before her , stretching back for years with a version of @dspndncy that was not capable of imagining a life that did not begin and end with violence . ❛ i bet you'll still turn an old girl down , though . i won't bother asking you to change your mind about our rehab program ... ❜ she adds then , a slight smile on her wrinkled features . why would she ? umbrella may no longer exist as a name , but its work has not stopped moving through the world , and if it is still out there , then there is no one left to pretend it will simply disappear on its own . ♡