#need vacations

She sleeps less and less (normal, I know) and she is sooo clingy !!!

I'm not used to her being that way, she has always been very independent, playing by herself in her room or in the living room. She wakes up several times a night because of nightmares I assume, and she falls back asleep right away. I don't though.

I am exhausted. I also have to keep the house very clean, since she is now crawling, and I can't do it when she is asleep, obviously, so cleaning with a clingy baby is always fun, right ?

The dogs need to go out as well. And the dog poop need to be picked up in the garden. The dishes need to be washed. I have to do some ironing this afternoon too.

But I am so tired that I just want to go to sleep while Olivia is sleeping... Honestly, the first 10 months of her life felt like vacations compare to now. When people were worried about me doing it all by myself, I could tell them that I was fine, that it wasn't that hard.

Well I can't say that anymore. I need a vacation away from my baby, from my dogs, from my house. I just want to go away for a few days... But I can't afford it.

The thing I miss the most : TV show marathon. I used to be able to watch entire series of my favorites TV shows in a few days. Now I'm lucky if I can watch one episode without pausing.

My mom says she can help me when she's home, but she has zero patience with Olivia. She says that she raised 4 kids but that we weren't like that. So when I leave her with Olivia to run errands, she will text me "you daughter's awake". So I know I have to go home because if not, she'll complain about how clingy my baby is being.

I am miserable. But I can't complain to anyone because they will tell me that it was my choice to have a baby by my self and that I should have thought about it before having her. They are right.