#nct romance

Jaehyun arrived in Switzerland on a fog-soaked morning.

The air was thinner and colder here, and the quiteness doesn’t help to tone it down; it was almost sharp. Everything felt slower, softer, untouched by the noise he had lived in for years. The town was small, exactly as Eunwoo had described. A few cafés, a tiny bookstore by the corner, a row of pastel houses overlooking the lake. A church bell that rang every hour. Children’s laughter echoes from the small school courtyard at noon.

It was almost too peaceful.

He checked into a small guesthouse near the lake, under a different name. The owner was kind, a woman in her sixties who didn’t ask questions when he said he was a writer. She gave him the key, wished him a good stay, and told him breakfast was at seven.

That night, he didn’t sleep much. How could he when he’s literally, most probably, in the same town as she is after almost 4 years crossing countries over countries without a single clue. That night, he barely slept. How could he?

He was here, finally and impossibly, in the same town she might be breathing in after almost four years of chasing shadows across continents with nothing but hope holding him together.

Every time he closed his eyes, the thought hit him again:

She could be just down the street. He could find her.

The possibility kept him wide awake.

He lay on the stiff guesthouse mattress, staring at the wooden ceiling beams, listening to the distant hum of the lake wind and the occasional passing car. His heart wouldn’t slow down. For the first time in years, he was close enough that the ache in his chest sharpened into fear and hope tangled together.

What if she wasn’t the same? What if he wasn’t?

The questions chased him until dawn. By the time pale morning light leaked through the curtains, he’d barely managed an hour of sleep.

The next morning, he still got up from bed despite the lack of sleep, and he went to the café Eunwoo had mentioned. The same one with the big window and the smell of roasted beans that lingered in the air. He sat by the window, ordered a black coffee, and waited.

The first day passed without anything. So did the second. And the third.

He waited every morning, sometimes until the café closed. He’d walk around the neighborhood, memorize the streets, learn the names of the shopkeepers, and nod politely at the locals.

Some days, he’d stroll by the school Eunwoo mentioned, the small building tucked at the corner across from the café, right at the intersection. He’d sit on the bench across the street, pretending to be just another stranger passing the time.

From there, he watched the everyday life of parents coming and going, calling out names, laughing, bending down to zip jackets or tie shoelaces. Little hands reaching up, bigger hands reaching down. A hundred tiny reunions repeating themselves every afternoon.

He watched quietly, letting the scene pass through him like a memory of something he’d never had.

But she never appeared.

Not once did he see the face he’d memorized. Not once did he hear her laugh carried on the wind. Not once did a child’s voice sound like it could belong to them.

On the seventh day, he started doubting himself. Maybe she’d moved again. Maybe Eunwoo had only seen someone who looked like her. But still, he stayed.

Every morning, he walked the same route. Every afternoon, he found himself in the same café. Every evening, he sat by the same bench, watching the same doors open and close.

The locals began to recognize him. The café owner started greeting him with a smile, already knowing his order. “Americano?” she’d ask. He’d nod. “Yes. Thank you.”

Sometimes she’d ask if he was waiting for someone.

He’d just smile and say, “Yes.”

The tenth day came with rain. He sat under the awning outside the café, watching the water bead along the pavement, watching people hurry home under umbrellas. He thought of her— how she used to hate the rain, how she’d always cling to his arm and complain about wet shoes, how he’d tease her for it just to hear her laugh.

He missed that sound more than anything in the world. He closed his eyes, let the sound of the rain fill the silence. He whispered to himself, “If you’re still here, please… just one sign.” But the rain only fell harder.

And then came the fourteenth day.

The sky was clear, pale blue— the kind of day that made the town look like a painting. Jaehyun sat on the same bench across the school, a coffee in hand, his breath turning faintly white in the crisp morning air.

Children were starting to gather in front of the school gate, saying goodbye to their friends and running up to their parents right away. Small backpacks bouncing, little boots splashing the last bits of melted frost.

Every school day, he watched them, and every time, despite himself, he smiled at the sight. His mind wandered to the thought he tried not to linger on: his child.

Would they run up to him like that? Would they laugh that freely when they saw him?

Would they throw their arms around his neck and shout, “Daddy!” as if the whole world existed only in that one word?

He imagined it sometimes without meaning to— standing there among the other parents, waiting, heart pounding, until a small figure spotted him and broke into a run. He imagined scooping them up, spinning them once, feeling small hands clutching his coat, a kiss on his cheek.

How sweet it would be. How simple, how ordinary, how impossible.

A sting burned behind his eyes. He blinked it away quickly, swallowing the tightness in his throat. So he pushed himself off the bench, ready to leave before the tears could betray him, but just as he stood, he froze.

She stepped out from between a line of parents, walking slowly toward the gate with a little boy beside her.

For a moment, he genuinely thought his heart had stopped beating.

She looked the same. A little older, perhaps. A little calmer. Her hair was longer and flowed just right, the same way it swayed years ago, her movements gentler, her face softer in this cold winter light. She was talking to the boy, her voice low, affectionate.

The child laughed, loud and bright, and his laugh rang a sound so achingly familiar it punched the breath out of his lungs. He has his laugh.

There she is. There you are.

He couldn’t move or breathe properly. After years of searching, of waiting, of dreaming, they were right there, just across the street.

He blinked once, twice, almost afraid they would disappear if he moved. But they didn’t.

Her coat fluttered gently in the breeze. She crouched down, fixing the boy’s scarf, brushing her thumb over his cheek in a way that was so tender, so familiar, it almost brought Jaehyun to his knees.

It was a small, ordinary moment. But to Jaehyun, it was everything. After all this time, after all those cities, all those empty mornings… He’d found them.

His thoughts started to spiral.

What was he supposed to do now? Walk up to her? Call for her name? Would she even want to see him?

His mind flooded with possibilities, each one clashing violently against the next.

She looks well. Does she hate me? Does she think I hate her? What if she’s married now? No… she isn’t wearing a ring.

What if she moved on? What if she’s happy without me? Would it be selfish to appear now, after all this time?

His gaze shifted to the boy, holding her hand, smiling as he pointed at a bird perched on the gate. Jaehyun’s heart clenched so tightly he thought he might stop breathing.

He had his eyes. His small, round cheeks. The same way his brows furrowed when he laughed too hard. The same set of dimples decorating his cheek.

That’s my son.

The thought hit him like a punch to the chest. It didn’t feel like pride. It didn’t even feel like joy. It felt like disbelief, like something precious and painful all at once.

How many birthdays had he missed? How many nights had she stayed awake alone, comforting the baby he never held? How many first words, first steps, first laughs had he never seen?

An invisible grief unfurled inside him. He’d spent years looking for them, and now that they were right there, so close he could reach them but he couldn’t move a single step forward.

She stood up, adjusting the strap of her bag over her shoulder, looking down at the boy. He said something that made her laugh. That bright and easy sound he hadn’t heard in years nearly broke him.

He bit his lip hard, his vision blurring as his fingers trembled in his pocket. All this time, he thought he had prepared himself for this moment, but nothing, not even the years of searching, had prepared him for how alive she still looked.

Alive without him.

She didn’t look lost or broken like he had imagined.

She looked whole. Peaceful. Grounded. Like she’d built herself back up from everything they had destroyed. And Jaehyun didn’t know whether to be proud or devastated.

For a moment, he imagined walking up to her, calling her name, seeing her face lift in shock, maybe even tears, maybe forgiveness. He imagined crouching down to the boy’s level, introducing himself— Hi, I’m your dad.

He imagined all of it. Her voice, the boy’s laughter, the weight of what-ifs collapsing into something real.

But another image came right after; darker, quieter.

Her expression turned to fear. Her eyes hardened. Her pulling the boy behind her, saying, Don’t come near us.

The thought made his stomach drop. He couldn’t do it. Not yet.

He couldn’t just shatter the peace she had built. Not when she looked so steady, not when their child looked so happy. So he stayed where he was across the street, in the shadow of the bench, watching silently as they walked away.

When they turned the corner and disappeared, Jaehyun finally exhaled— the kind of breath that trembled out of him like a confession. His coffee had gone cold beside him, untouched.

He sat there for a long time after that, staring at the empty gate, his mind replaying the scene over and over until it became unbearable. He wanted to just walk up to her. Call her name, to see her turn and look at him the way she used to. But he didn’t.

14 days of waiting. And now, he couldn’t even bring himself to say her name.

Every time she glanced in his general direction, his body went rigid, his heart hammering against his ribs. He’d duck his head, shift on the bench, pretend to be someone else— a stranger waiting for no one. Because what if she saw him? What if the first thing she did was run?

He couldn’t risk that. So, he waited.

Day after day, he came back. The same bench. The same café across the street. The same cup of lukewarm coffee that went untouched most days. Sometimes he came in the early hours, watching from a distance as she led their— his son toward the small preschool by the corner. Sometimes he stayed through the afternoon, just to see her again when she came to pick the boy up.

He learned her rhythm.

How she always held the child’s hand a little tighter when they crossed the street. How she always crouched down to kiss his cheek before he went inside the school, or after he ran up to her after school. How she always smiled at him like he was her entire world.

And Jaehyun just watched quietly, like a man sitting in a movie theater watching his favorite film. Every day, the scenes played out the same way. Her walks the boy to school, kissing the top of his head before letting him go. Then later, her waiting by the gate, her smile lighting up when she saw him run back into her arms.

He never got tired of it.

The sight of them hurt and healed him at the same time.

Twenty-nine days of waiting. Twenty-nine mornings and evenings on that same bench, just watching their routine like a film he couldn’t stop replaying.

But the more he watched them, the harder it got. He wanted to be part of that picture so, so badly. Not just the man watching from the corner seat, but the one standing beside her in that frame. The husband who carried the groceries, the one she turned to when she laughed, the father who held their son’s hand on the walk home.

He wanted to fill the missing piece of their small world, and to actually do that, he couldn’t just sit there anymore.

He wouldn’t know how she would react when she saw him, whether she’d cry, run, or turn away. But none of it mattered. What mattered was that he needed to try.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered, the word barely escaping his lips.

Tomorrow, he would walk up to her. Gently, just be himself, the man who still loved her, who still carried her in every breath he took.

He would tell her that he still loved her. That he’d never stopped. And if she needed him to beg, he would. If she needed time, he’d wait. If she asked him to prove it, he’d spend the rest of his life doing so.

The next morning, Jaehyun fetched himself a coffee from the same café he’d been visiting for the past twenty-nine days. The barista smiled when she saw him, already pouring his usual order before he even said a word. 

Then he returned to the same bench, the one he’d sat on yesterday, across from the small school. It had become his place. He watches as parents begin to dropped their children off by the gates, greeting teachers and waving goodbye to their children. He was used to the sight by now. He watched it every morning like a ritual.

But then he saw her standing near the entrance of the school, her back turned slightly, hair falling loose around her shoulders. She was holding a little boy’s hand, then crouching down to check his fit.

He swallowed hard and took a small, shaky step forward. Then another. Each step felt heavier, slower, like wading through water. His heart was hammering against his ribs so hard it almost hurt.

And when he reached the opposite curb close enough to call her name, his throat went dry. His fingers tightened around the paper cup until it crumpled.

His voice came out low at first, almost fragile.

She didn’t react. She was focused on the child, crouched down, tying his shoelaces. He tried again, louder this time, and his voice breaking halfway through. That made her freeze.

Her head lifted slowly, her body stiffening before she turned toward the sound. Their eyes met for the first time in four years. It felt like the world stopped moving.

She blinked once, twice, disbelief flickering across her face, her lips parting soundlessly.

“Jae… how did you…” she breathed, her voice trembling, words barely forming. In that split second after his name left her lips, something inside her cracked wide open.

She didn’t know what she was supposed to feel.

Agony? Relief? Terror? Grief? Every emotion slammed into her at once, a violent collision that made her could barely breathe.

For four long years, she had lived with the belief, almost certainty— that she had outrun fate. That she had gone far enough, erased enough of herself, buried enough of her past that he would never find the path back to her.

She thought she was safe. She thought she had done everything — protected him, protected their child, protected herself from the risk of losing him all over again.

But here he was, standing in front of her like God had returned something she had begged Him to take away because she was too weak to bear it.

Her knees wobbled enough that she felt her bones loosen under her weight, although not visibly. She wanted to cry right there on the sidewalk, to crumble into herself and sob until the world made sense again. But her body refused to move. Every muscle locked, every nerve short-circuited. It was like her brain couldn’t process the image in front of her.

She could only stare.

He looked exactly like the Jaehyun she remembered — and yet not the same at all. Jaehyun is still heartbreakingly handsome, wearing that same warmth in his eyes when he looks at her, but he's definitely thinner, like he’s unattended. A little rough around the edges, as if grief had lived under his skin too long.

His hair was longer and jaw sharper, while the shoulders that she loved to lean on are now slumped from the weight she couldn’t see.

But his smile— that small, trembling smile he gave her hit her like a punch. It’s the same smile he had always reserved for her alone. The smile he gave when he was relieved, when he was scared, when he didn’t know how else to express how much he loved her.

God, she wanted to run to him.

To bury herself in his arms, to feel his warmth again, to say “I missed you” until the words lost meaning. To finally let go of the years she had spent pretending she didn’t need him.

But the fear rose faster.

Why is he here? How did he find me? Is he angry? Hurt? Looking for answers I can’t give?

Every horrible possibility flashed through her mind in the span of a heartbeat, and so she stayed still, motionless, unreadable, torn between wanting to reach for him and wanting to hide behind the nearest wall.

Her eyes drank him in with a desperation she didn’t dare show. Her lips trembled but wouldn’t form words, and her fingers curled against her palm where he couldn’t see. She could only stare at him, frozen between hope and terror.

Jaehyun felt it too, all of it. The shock, the longing, the fear. He stepped forward, just barely, his breath shaking, his eyes glassy with everything he had wanted to say for years. He wanted to run to her, to close the space between them, to touch her just to prove she was real, but before he could opened his mouth to say something, a small voice cut through the stillness.

“Mommy…” The boy tugged gently at her sleeve, confused by the silence stretching between the two adults. He looked between them; his mother frozen like a statue, and the man who looked at her like she was the sunrise. Then, curious and yet unafraid, the boy’s gaze lifted to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s eyes darted to the boy, and everything inside him fell apart. The soft, round cheeks, the dark brown eyes, the shape of his nose, a small dimple forming when he smiled, everything mirrored him.

“Hi…!” the boy chirped, his voice bright and innocent.

She stiffened the moment her son spoke, her hand instinctively tightening around his small fingers, not yanking him back, not hiding him, just holding him a little closer, as if her body wanted to shield him before her mind had even caught up.

He felt his breath hitch. His chest tightened painfully, “Is he… mine?”

She had imagined this moment a hundred times; in nightmares, in lonely nights, in the spaces where fear lived. But the real thing was so much worse. So much heavier. So much more human. Her lips parted, but no words came. 

Her eyes burned, her vision blurring, her whole body trembling from seeing the man she loved, standing in front of her, staring at their child with a look so raw it broke every carefully built wall inside her.

She knew lying was impossible. She knew running was impossible. She knew everything she’d tried to protect— his career, his peace, their separation; was collapsing right there, at the school entrance.

So she simply looked at him. And the silence itself was an answer.

Jaehyun’s breath hitched, then a stream of tears fell before he could stop it. Of course, he’s mine.

Panic flickered in her eyes when she saw him crying, so she adjusted the boy’s backpack hurriedly, her voice rising just slightly as she said, “Jae, I have to go to a parent meeting right now.”

“How long will it take?” he asked quickly, desperate, trying not to let the tremor in his voice show. “I’ll wait. Please, let’s talk.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll wait at the café right up front,” he said again, softer this time, like a plea. “Let’s talk after you’re done, please.”

She hesitated, biting her lip. Then, quietly, “…Okay, let’s talk.” She turned to her son, holding out her hand. “Let’s go.”

The boy waved his hand to him, his voice clear and bright. “Goodbye!”

Jaehyun smiled faintly despite the ache in his throat. “Bye, baby,” he said softly, his voice cracking at the edges.

He didn’t even remember how he got to the café after that. The whole world had blurred for him. The walk, the sound of traffic, and even the taste of the coffee he ordered while waiting. All he could think about was her voice and the little boy’s eyes, his reflection staring back at him from another face.

He sat by the window, hands clasped tightly, heart beating in uneven rhythms. The minutes dragged like hours until the bell over the door chimed softly.

She was there.

She approached quietly, almost warily, and sat down across from him. Her hair framed her face the same way it used to. Her voice, when she spoke, was cautious, like testing fragile ground.

“How have you been?” she asked.

He swallowed, forcing a small smile. “I’ve been… surviving. What about you?”

She shrugged faintly, eyes flicking down to her cup. “Well, I’ve been alright… What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been searching for you for years,” Jaehyun said, his voice trembling. “I never imagined I’d actually find you.”

“I told you not to look for me,” she said quietly.

“I know,” he replied. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About you raising him alone.”

Her eyes shimmered slightly. “I’m sorry…”

“Why are you sorry?” His tone softened. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“I told you, it was my choice,” she murmured.

He let out a shaky breath. “Why did you decide to live here? How have you been living?”

“I just wanted to go somewhere far,” she said softly. “The farthest I could. I don’t do anything now.. I just live as Seonwoo’s mom.”

“What about work?”

“I stopped. I don’t want to leave him alone; he only has me. I have my parents’ money, we can live comfortably even if I don’t work, the money is enough for just the two of us. So don’t worry.”

He didn’t miss the tone she used, calm, gentle, factual. It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t warm either. It was the tone of someone explaining her life like a boundary.

Like she was telling him just enough,

but not inviting him in.

It stung, but he swallowed it quietly. He understood what it meant; she didn’t want him to meddle.

Didn’t want him to think she needed help.

Didn’t want him thinking he had room in the life she had built alone.

“That’s… good,” Jaehyun said, though his voice cracked on the last word.

“The baby’s beautiful…” he said after a pause, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Can I see him again, just for a moment?”

She paused, her lips pressing together before she answered.

“I… I could show you pictures,” she said politely.

And Jaehyun heard the meaning instantly. The rejection wasn’t harsh, but it was careful, although it still felt like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed until it hurt to breathe.

He nodded once, eyes dropping. He got it, really did.

She wasn’t being cruel to him; she was just being cautious and protective because she’s a mother.

Their son’s mother.

He’d spent nights imagining what it might be like to meet the baby, hearing him speak, holding him. But now that he was here, face-to-face with the one person who had kept his child alive and happy, he knew he couldn’t push and just force his way into their peace.

“Okay…” Jaehyun whispered, forcing himself to accept it. “That’s okay.”

She exhaled shakily, her fingers tightening around the edge of her cup. She knew what he wanted, and part of her wanted to give it to him, to see his smile when he met their son, to watch them side by side. But she couldn’t.

Her mind spun with fears she couldn’t voice.

What if this were temporary? What if he only came to see, confirm, then leave? What if he changed his mind? What if he regretted finding them? What if Seonwoo’s peaceful life were shattered? What if Jaehyun couldn’t stay? What if his presence caused more chaos than calm?

She didn’t know what he wanted, nor what he intended.

She didn’t even know if he had come here out of love, grief, guilt… or all three tangled into something dangerous.

So she decided to build another wall to keep Seonwoo safe until she could understand Jaehyun’s intentions.

“I understand…” Jaehyun nodded slowly, then changed the topic. “What’s his name?”

“Seonwoo. Jeong Seonwoo.”

“Jeong Seonwoo…” he repeated the name quietly like a prayer.

The moment the name left his lips, something deep inside him trembled. Seonwoo. He remembered it. The name his own father almost gave him when he was born. He had told her that once, long ago, in one of those soft, late-night conversations they used to have when dreams still felt close enough to reach.

“That’s…” His voice shook. “That’s beautiful.”

He blinked hard, tears gathering again, but he didn’t let them fall. Not when she looked so tense, so guarded, so frightened of what this might become.

He just never thought she’d remember.

And now, here it was. Their son, carrying not only his surname, but also the name his family had once meant for him. A name that now belonged to someone far more precious.

His throat tightened as warmth rose behind his eyes. He blinked hard, trying to steady his breath, but his voice still came out weak.

“How old is he now? Four?”

“Yeah. His birthday’s the same as yours.”

Jaehyun froze, a faint laugh of disbelief slipping out of him before it turned into a shaky exhale. “Really…?”

The coincidence, oh no, more like the connection, hit him like fate. Born on his birthday. Named after the name his father once wished upon him. Carrying his blood, his name, his history. It felt too perfect, too divine to be anything other than destiny.

He looked up again, his tone fragile. “What do you tell Seonwoo about not having a dad?”

“I tell him his dad is far away,” she answered softly. “That’s because of certain circumstances; he can’t live with us.”

His eyes dropped to the table. “…Has he ever asked who?”

“I always avoided the question,” she said, her voice breaking just slightly.

For a moment, she couldn’t speak. Something painful twisted inside her chest. Her mind wanders to every time Seonwoo asked about his dad.

She never lied to him; she just couldn’t give him the whole truth just yet.

She would say, “Daddy is far away.” And Seonwoo would nod, innocent and trusting. But now that he was older, he asked harder questions.

“Where is he?” “Why can’t he come here?” “Does he know me?” “Is he coming back?”

And each time, her heart crumbled a little more.

She’d smile through the ache, stroke his hair, and distract him with something else. It always worked, eventually. He’d laugh, move on, play with his toys, and she’d exhale in relief.

But when night came, when the house was quiet and Seonwoo finally asleep, she’d curl into herself and let the tears fall, because deep down, she knew that she didn’t even know how to answer those questions herself.

Then they talked more.

At first, it was awkward and cautious, as if either of them could shatter the fragile air between them with the wrong word. But as minutes turned into hours, the stiffness faded.

They began talking about everything. From A to Z, like they never got into an argument about her wanting to disappear from his life and him wanting to have him by his side.

They talked about the little things, how cold the winters get here, and how pretty the scenery is, how she learned to bake because Seonwoo refused store-bought bread. About how she’d found comfort in the small routines, and how he’d been traveling so much that he’d forgotten what “routine” even meant.

Their faces began to light up as time went on, smiles coming easier, laughter finding its way back between the pauses.

Sometimes, they didn’t even need to speak; they just looked at each other and understood. The years apart felt less like a wall and more like a long, winding detour that had finally led them back here.

It was everything for both of them. Every word, every look, every breath filled the hollow parts of them that had ached for too long.

Jaehyun’s heart felt full for the first time in years. She was right there, sitting across from him again, the way her hands wrapped around a warm cup of coffee, her eyes soft and calm. It was just like any other time they went on a café date a few years ago.

But then her voice broke the air: “Why are you here, really?” The question was a key turning in the lock of the Pandora box.

Jaehyun set his cup down, fingers trembling just slightly. Then he looked her in the eyes and answered with a sure, gentle smile. “I want to be with you. And our baby.”

She could feel the sincerity in every inch of him. In his voice and gaze. In the way his hands curled nervously around the cup while he looked at her like she was something sacred.

She tried to find doubt, hesitation, or uncertainty, but there was none.

Of course, there wasn’t. Jaehyun had always been sincere when it was about her.

“I don’t know, Jae…” she whispered.

She wasn’t even sure if she wanted him to stay or disappear again. She had missed him more than she could bear; she imagined him here in a thousand lonely moments, but seeing him now felt like a dream she shouldn’t touch.

It had taken her everything to build this life without him.

Brick by shaky brick, she rebuilt herself and Seonwoo a home, and learned how to stand on her own two feet.

Letting him in now felt like knocking all her hard-earned safety down with one touch.

What if he didn’t stay? What if he realized this life wasn’t enough? What if fame and pressure pulled him back? What if one day, he looked at her and regretted everything? What if he walked away again?

How would Seonwoo survive that? How would she?

Finally, her voice came out small, trembling, “I’m scared… Jae…”

He inhaled sharply, eyes softening with an ache so gentle it made her chest hurt.

“You don’t have to rush,” he said quietly. “I’ll be here. I’ll wait until you make your decision.”

“Jaehyun…” Her voice broke. She hated how grateful she felt. How familiar his tenderness was. How much she still loved him after all these years.

He gave her a bittersweet smile, the one she remembered too well, one she once kissed off his lips.

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered. “I’ll wait.”

Jaehyun watched her carefully. She looked torn, fragile in a way he had never seen before, not even during her pregnancy, not even when she left. This was different. This was a woman who had built an entire life alone and was terrified someone might walk in and rearrange the furniture of her world.

He leaned forward slightly, whispering, “Let me try,” he said. He could notice her startled expression, but he still continued.

“Not as a stranger. Not as someone who showed up after years. But as myself. As the man who loves you. As the man who wants to be in our son’s life.”

“Just… give me a chance,” he whispered. “One chance. So you can see for yourself if I’m still worth staying for. If I’m still worth letting in.”

Her fingers curled around her cup, knuckles whitening.

He added, more gently, “If I’m not… if you decide I’m not the man you or Seonwoo deserve… then I’ll walk away. I won’t force myself in. I won’t break what you built.”

Her eyes glistened, throat tightening at the quiet sincerity in his tone. He wasn’t demanding or claiming anything. He was offering himself.

“And if you think I could be part of your life again,” he whispered, “then I’ll spend every day proving I deserve it.”

She exhaled shakily, eyes dropping to the table. A long silence stretched between them before she finally nodded, barely visible. “…Okay.”

Jaehyun’s breath left him in a quiet rush. He didn’t smile, but there’s a visible soft yet fragile curve at the corner of his mouth, the kind that held more gratitude than joy.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

She wasn’t sure, but she nodded again. Yet, despite the tension, they kept talking, cautiously peeling away the distance between them.

She told him small details about Seonwoo— how he loved cats, how he hated carrots unless they were shaped like stars, how he always slept with one hand curled under his cheek, and Jaehyun listened like every word was a treasure being handed back to him.

He told her where he had been, what he had gone through, how he had spent years flying from country to country and had gotten nearly a million of mileage on his frequent flyer membership. She kept her eyes lowered but listened closely. Every word he spoke cracked her heart open just a little more.

And then, eventually, she checked the time and stood up. “I should go pick him up,” she said softly.

Jaehyun rose too, instinctively, but then stopped himself, not wanting to overstep. She offered him a small, almost shy smile and a promise to meet him again tomorrow before leaving the café.

Later, she returned with Seonwoo, laughing, carrying his backpack while he bounced excitedly at her side. They walked home like any other afternoon. She held his hand while he pointed at random flowers throughout their walks. She corrected how he said Schmetterling because he had been loving German words lately.

She’s a perfect mother. Gentle, patient, and loving mother. Everything Jaehyun had imagined and more.

But once she’s done with her role of a mother, she locked herself in her bedroom, her breath broke. She pressed a hand to her chest as the tears poured out uncontrollably.

Every emotion collided at once until she couldn’t separate one from another. She curled into herself, pressing her forehead to her knees, and the trains of what-ifs hit for the second time today.

What if he stayed forever? What if he didn’t? What if Seonwoo loved him instantly and then had to lose him? What if life finally gave her everything she wanted… just to take it away again?

She cried until her chest ached and her throat stung for the years they lost, for the boy who didn’t know his father, for the man who cried on a street corner, for the love she thought she buried but found alive again.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun was still sitting in the same café.

He hadn’t moved from his seat. He was staring out the window, one trembling hand covering his mouth, trying to process the fact that she had said okay, and trying to wrap his heart around the idea of being allowed back into a life he thought he had lost forever.

The next morning, Jaehyun returned to the same bench he had claimed for nearly a month, hands buried deep in the pockets of his coat as he fought against the bite of winter air. He looked tired, but calmer than yesterday.

His gaze drifted upward, following the pale sky as if memorizing the softness of it, his hair lifting slightly whenever the wind brushed past him. He looked like a still frame from a quiet European film, the kind where the main character sits alone in cold morning light, waiting for something or someone who means everything.

She saw him before he saw her.

From across the street, with Seonwoo’s small hand in hers, she spotted his figure sitting there; he looked older, a little thinner, but still so heartbreakingly familiar.

She hadn’t seen him in a winter coat in years, and he looked unfairly good in it. Sharp jawline slightly hidden by the collar, his breath visible in soft clouds, the tips of his ears flushed pink from the cold.

God, she missed him. The one she ran from, yet she still loved, maybe even more than before.

When she reached the school gate, she crouched to adjust Seonwoo’s jacket, smoothing the collar and giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. The boy grinned, already excited to join his friends. With a small wave, he ran off toward the entrance, his laughter echoing lightly among the other children. She waited until he disappeared inside before she stood, exhaling a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.

When they reached the school gates, she crouched to fix Seonwoo’s jacket, kissed his cheek, and whispered, “Have fun, okay?”

The boy grinned, already spotting his friends. He darted toward them, laughing brightly, disappearing through the entrance. She stood up again, exhaling softly, but when she looked across the street, Jaehyun was no longer sitting.

He was standing with his hands still tucked in his pockets, shoulders slightly raised from the cold, but he smiled timidly, lifting one hand to do shyest wave. It was such a gentle gesture that she felt the faintest smile tug at her own lips, unable to suppress it.

She smiled back, then she crossed the street. He stepped closer immediately, his expression softening the moment she neared.

“Hi,” she greeted, breath forming a faint cloud in the cold air.

“Hi, baby,” Jaehyun replied gently.

Oh god, she missed that. She missed him calling her that soft, affectionate pet name, like it was the most natural thing in the world. She looked down, smiling faintly, trying to hide the silent acknowledgment.

“Do you… Want to walk for a bit?” she asked, her voice shy but steady. Jaehyun didn’t even hesitate. His breath left him in a small, relieved huff.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I would love that.”

She gestured toward the small park by the lake, and they began walking side by side, naturally falling into the same rhythm they once knew by instinct. The path toward the small lakeside park was lined with bare trees dusted with snow, the world quiet except for the occasional crunch of gravel beneath their boots. 

The wind was cold, but the silence between them wasn’t.

Jaehyun kept stealing glances at her often enough that she felt each one like a gentle tug. His gaze lingered on her profile, on the soft scatter of sunlight on her hair, on the quiet strength in her expression. She pretended not to notice until she couldn’t.

“How did you sleep?” she asked, her voice low.

He let out a small breath that formed a cloud in front of him. “I didn’t,” he admitted.

She frowned slightly. “You didn’t? Why?”

His smile was faint but immediate. “I was too happy to sleep.”

She blinked at him, startled by the simplicity of it. His breath fogged in the air as he searched for the words. “…because I was so happy to see you again.”

“And because I knew I’d see you again today. You promised you’d meet me.” His voice softened, dipped into something fragile. “I guess I was… excited.”

Her breath caught. She looked away quickly, but he saw the small smile pull at her lips.

Then silence washed over them again, warm this time. Comforting. The kind that used to sit between them naturally when they were still a 'we'.

She looked away, focusing on the lake ahead. The water was still partially frozen, glimmering softly beneath the winter sun. They walked more slowly as the path narrowed, their boots brushing snow-covered grass. The air around them felt warmer somehow, though the temperature hadn’t changed.

He spoke again, voice gentler this time. “You looked happy yesterday,” he said. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in years.”

“I was happy,” she admitted quietly. “It’s been a long time since I talked to someone who knows me.”

“I thought you looked happy yesterday,” he said softly. “When we talked. I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time.”

She swallowed, her hands curling tighter inside her pockets. “I was,” she whispered. “It’s been a long time since I talked to someone like that.”

They walked past a cluster of pine trees, the breeze carrying the scent of resin and cold lake water. The quiet between them wasn’t uncomfortable anymore, just delicate. 

They just kept walking, the distance between them shrinking without them even realizing, the air around them thickening with everything unspoken, and the aching possibility of something beginning again.

And in the days that followed, their meetings became a routine. They exchanged phone numbers almost awkwardly, like they were just a stranger to each other.

But after that, plans began to take shape naturally. Another walk, another coffee, another sweet, tentative conversation in a park bench where once lovers sat with ease.

They avoided calling them “dates,” but they were essentially dates— gentle and careful ones, tucked away from Seonwoo’s eyes. She made it clear, even without saying it outright, that she still wasn’t ready for him to meet Jaehyun.

And Jaehyun accepted it every time, no matter how deeply it hurt, because he understood that she was rejecting him out of the instinct of a mother who had spent years surviving on her own, protecting a fragile little world built with her bare hands.

Sometimes, when they sat by the lake and watched ducks skim across the icy surface, she would slowly let her walls lower one brick at a time.

“I’m not doubting you,” she told him one afternoon as they sat beneath a bare-limbed tree, “I’m just… scared.”

He nodded, eyes fixed on her profile. “I know.”

“I’ve been doing this alone for four years,” she continued, her voice trembling at the edges. “Every decision. Every mistake. Every night he was sick. Every worry. All alone. I can’t just let someone in and risk having everything break again.”

Jaehyun swallowed hard. “I’m not someone, you know?” he said quietly. “I’m.. I’m his dad.”

Her eyes flickered with emotion — guilt, fear, love she wasn’t ready to admit. “I know,” she whispered. “That’s what scares me.”

Her honesty gutted him.

He knew she wasn’t wrong or being dramatic, nor was she punishing him. She was terrified of losing the stability she fought for and letting Seonwoo love a man who might leave again.

And Jaehyun listened wordlessly, because he wanted to know every fear she carried so he could understand exactly what he needed to protect.

But at night, when he went back to his small guesthouse, that quiet understanding tore him open.

Some nights, he paced the small room like something wild. Other nights, he sat on the edge of his bed, hands in his hair, whispering to no one, “Please… please trust me…”

And some nights, when the ache sharpened into something unbearable, he cried because he had a son in this town— a living, breathing piece of him, and he wasn’t allowed to see him.

He cried because he missed four years he could never get back and because every instinct inside him screamed to run to Seonwoo, to hold him, to kiss the top of his head, to whisper “I love you” into his tiny shoulders.

But he stayed patiently still. Because if patience was the only way back into their world, he would give it. If silent longing was the price for their trust, he would pay it.

And he never once let her see the pain behind his smile.

Every time they met, he greeted her gently, and never missed to compliment her without going too far.

Listened to her talk about the little things Seonwoo did that week, from a drawing he made, a word he mispronounced, to silly jokes he told.

Jaehyun smiled through every detail, but each one felt like a knife twisted between his ribs. He tried not to show it and just be happy just hearing about his boy. But sometimes she would catch the way his eyes glistened, but she’d only look away, guilt burning in her chest, because she knew that keeping them apart hurt him more than he let on.

Still, she wasn’t ready. Not yet.

And he respected her timing. He only asked, gently, once in a while, “How do you feel about… everything? About us? About the possibility?”

She always answered honestly.

“I don’t know yet.” “I’m trying.” “Just give me a little more time.”

Her uncertainty hurts him, but he nods every time, the corners of his lips lifting in a sad, soft smile. “It’s okay,” he always said. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

He meant his word, even if he would spend the night crying quietly into his hands until he woke up with swollen eyes. Or on the afternoons, he walked past the school just to catch a glimpse of Seonwoo’s classmates, imagining which little silhouette might be his boy.

He stayed and waited, while loving them quietly from just a few streets away. Then, something happened on a quiet Thursday afternoon.

She had told Jaehyun she would be busy that day, so he didn’t go to the café or the bench, but his feet still led him toward the school district around dismissal time because he couldn’t help the way his heart pulled toward the places where his son existed.

He stayed in some random outdoor café across the main road, far enough not to be noticed, close enough to feel close to a life that wasn’t his yet.

He didn’t expect to see Seonwoo holding a little paper butterfly craft bouncing excitedly as he tugged her hand, and he definitely didn’t expect her to turn her head and see him standing there.

Their eyes met from across the street, but then, slowly, her expression softened in a way he hadn’t seen in a long time. Seonwoo tugged her coat, asking her something, and she bent down to answer him. When she straightened again, her gaze moved back to Jaehyun.

This time, she didn’t look away.

And for one terrifyingly hopeful second, Jaehyun thought to himself,

Is she bringing him to me? Is she ready?

She took a step forward, then another, while Seonwoo followed, happily swinging his hand, unaware of anything changing around him.

Jaehyun’s heart pounded so loudly it drowned out the sound of traffic. He stood still, breath caught in his throat, as she approached the crosswalk. Her eyes flickered to him with uncertainty but also open in a way they hadn’t been before.

He felt it was her fighting herself. A silent war inside her:

Should I? Should I not? Is it time? Will this hurt him? Will this hurt us?

When the traffic light turned green, she took one more step. While Jaehyun inhaled sharply and pressed a hand to his coat to steady himself, trying not to look too eager or desperate.

But then her shoulders tensed and her hand immediately tightened around Seonwoo’s small fingers.

And he watched how she shook her head before her feet stepped back from the crosswalk while she mouthed a silent “I’m sorry.”

Then she turned around and walked away with Seonwoo.

Jaehyun didn’t move for a long time. He stood there on the other side of the road, watching the small boy hop along the path, clutching his butterfly craft, while she guided him back to go home.

He didn’t blame her, but he felt something break inside him. He sank back onto the chair in the café where he was before, pressing both hands over his face as his breath trembled out of him.

“Not yet,” he whispered to himself.

Three days passed after the moment at the crosswalk where she almost introduced them, the moment her heart leaned forward and her fear yanked her violently back.

She felt her stomach twist with guilt the entire walk to the café they had planned to go. She arrived early this time, choosing a seat by the window. She ordered tea but didn’t drink it, tracing the rim of the cup with her fingertip as her thoughts spiraled. She kept replaying that moment at the crosswalk— the step she took forward, the fear that pulled her back, and the obvious hurt written on his face.

Jaehyun arrived a few minutes later. He smiled when he saw her, but she saw something different today. He looked more tired than yesterday.

“Hey,” he said gently and sat down slowly. He sat across from her, taking a moment in silence until the barista set down his cup of coffee in front of him.

“You okay?” she asked softly.

He offered her a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes while exhaling softly, “I’m fine.”

His voice lacked the usual steadiness. His shoulders drooped even more than the last time they walked around the city. And the way he kept pressing his thumb into the cup, like grounding himself, told her more than any words could.

“Jae…” she tried again, gentler this time. “What’s wrong?”

He stared at the surface of his untouched coffee, lips parting but no words coming. His throat bobbed once, twice, and his fingers tightened slightly around the cup.

He inhaled slowly, but the breath wavered on the way out. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

She blinked, confused. “For what?”

“I’m trying to be patient.” His voice cracked. “I really am.”

Her heart clenched.

“I don’t want to push you. Or overwhelm you. Or make you feel trapped. I promised I wouldn’t.”

“I don’t ever want you to feel cornered by me again.”

The word again cut straight through her.

He rubbed his thumb against the cup, still not looking at her. “But sometimes…” he swallowed hard, “…sometimes it hurts more than I know how to handle.”

His throat bobbed. “…I don’t know how to explain this without sounding selfish.”

“I see you, I get to talk to you, laugh with you, walk with you… And I’m grateful for every second. More than you know.” His voice trembled. “But then I go back to that room alone, and I keep thinking I have a son in this town. Right here. A boy I’ve never held. Never hugged. Never kissed goodnight.”

Her eyes filled instantly, and her fingers tightened around her cup.

“And I know it’s my fault too,” he said quickly, before she could form the thought. “I know I didn’t make it easy back then. I’m not angry about any of that. I understand why you left. I understand why you’re scared.”

“I wait because you need time. And I’ll keep waiting, no matter how long it takes. But some nights, I just…”

His voice broke completely. “…I just sit there and cry because I miss someone I’ve never even met.”

The air between them stilled.

She stared at him with painful clarity, truly seeing him this time, not just the man she once loved, but a father who had been starving for four years without knowing what he was missing until the moment he saw it standing on a sidewalk.

She made Jaehyun into a father grieving a child he was never allowed to hold.

A father who broke quietly because he had to be strong in front of her. A father hurting in a way she had never allowed herself to imagine. A man who had carried this pain alone, just like she had carried hers.

His eyes shimmered, but he blinked the tears back forcefully, refusing to let them fall in front of her. He let out a trembling breath and finally looked up.

“Please don’t misunderstand,” he whispered. “I’m not asking you to change your mind right now. I’m not asking you to hand him to me. I’m not demanding anything.”

“I just needed you to know,” he said, voice fragile but sincere. “That I’m hurting too. And that I’m trying my hardest to respect your pace even when it breaks my heart.”

She reached across the table before she even realized it,  her fingers brushing the back of his hand in the smallest, most fragile touch. 

Jaehyun froze when he felt her touch on his skin. He didn’t look away, didn’t breathe, didn’t even blink, as if the slightest movement might scare her off. She exhaled, steadying herself, and slid her palm fully over his.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know you were hurting that much.”

He swallowed, his lashes lowering as he absorbed her touch like something sacred. He looked down at their joined hands when fingers curled around his, then her thumb brushed the side of his hand once, almost shyly, before she stilled.

“I’m trying,” she whispered again. “I’m trying so hard to figure out what’s right.”

“I know.” His voice softened instantly, genuine and warm. He blinked away the tears that threatened to fall and gave her the smallest, saddest smile she had ever seen on him.

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered. “I’ll wait.” Her breath trembled. The pet name felt like something she hadn’t realized she needed right now— it was a reminder of softness, of familiarity, of a love that never fully died.

He bowed his head slightly, unable to hide the emotion tightening his throat, because after everything, she was the one holding him.

After a few moments of silence, Jaehyun finally dared to close his fingers around hers. He tightened his hold slowly, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to, but she didn’t. She didn’t move her hand away from his, and for a long moment, they sat like that, two people who once shared everything, now sharing a quiet heartbreak across a small café table.

The next week, they sat on the bench by the lake, the cold settling deep into the wood beneath them. She pulled her coat a little tighter, while he kept his hands in his pockets. For a moment, neither spoke.

Then she asked, almost cautiously, “How’s your life in Seoul? Are you really quitting?”

Jaehyun looked down, jaw tightening. When he finally spoke, the words were low and honest.

“I quit it all,” he said.

Her head snapped slightly in his direction. “All?”

“I was barely living after you left,” he admitted, voice steady but soft. “I couldn’t stay there anymore.”

A faint crease formed on her forehead. “What about the members?”

“They asked me to give them and the fans closure,” he said. “So I did. I stayed for one more year, then I ended everything and went looking for you.”

Her breath lodged in her throat. “Jae… you worked so hard for your career.”

“I had enough,” he murmured. “I just want to be with my little family.”

The phrase my little family made her heart twist painfully.

He continued, almost whispering, “The baby came unexpectedly, but still… You and the baby mattered the most to me.”

Her fingers curled on her lap. He looked at her then, openly, sincerely, without hesitation. “I would easily trade everything I have if that’s the only way to be with you and our baby.”

He wanted her to see the truth, that he wasn’t here on impulse, or out of guilt, or because he was lonely. He was here because he had made a decision a long time ago, and everything he did afterward was a consequence of that one decision.

He wanted her to understand that quitting wasn’t a sacrifice he regretted. He didn’t sit up at night wishing he could take it back. He walked away because it became impossible to live a life and get every achievement without a place to bring it home to. And because the thought of her carrying their child alone made the rest of the world feel meaningless.

He wanted her to know he had years to think about this. Years where every version of the future he imagined always ended with her and the baby. The need to find them, to make sure they were okay, to hope he still had a place beside them.

More than anything, he hoped she could see that he was a man who had lived four years thinking about nothing but how to be worthy of coming back.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I didn’t wake up one day and decide to find you,” he said. “It wasn’t a sudden… impulse. I planned things through,” Her jaw tightened, but she stayed silent.

“I started visiting the cities you mentioned before. The ones you liked or you said felt like home. I didn’t know where else to start.” He swallowed hard.

“After I quit, I traveled nonstop for three years,” he continued. “Every country I thought you might run to, I went. Every place you had ever pointed at on TV, every story you told about wanting to see something… I tried everything.” Her eyes blurred.

She bit her lip, feeling it tremble.

“At some point, I was losing myself,” he admitted quietly. “I barely ate, barely drank, I wasn’t taking care of myself at all. Until one day Doyoung called me because he saw a picture of me online and said I looked like shit. And he told me—” Jaehyun let out a weak laugh, “that if he were you, he wouldn’t trust a man who looked the way I did to start a family with.”

A soft, rueful chuckle escaped him. “He was right. I did look like shit.”

“So I stayed in Chicago… your first hometown, for a while to fix myself,” Jaehyun said. “To pull myself together. To look like someone you could still see as… yours. Someone you’d still want next to you.”

He exhaled slowly.

“But I never stopped. Not once. Because I kept thinking… you’re out there, somewhere, carrying our child alone. And I can’t live like nothing happened.”

“I just needed to know you were okay,” he whispered. “You and the baby. Even if you didn’t want me anymore. Even if you hated me.”

She shook her head quickly, tears gathering fast.

“I didn’t hate you,” she breathed. Jaehyun’s lips parted, but she spoke again before he could.

“I didn’t think you’d come. I thought eventually you’d give up looking.” He looked at her like the thought itself hurt him.

“I could never give up on you,” he said simply.

Silence slipped between them again, until Jaehyun’s voice lowered to something careful, almost afraid.

“Do you still love me?” he asked.

She froze.

The question didn’t surprise her. What surprised her was how gentle he sounded asking it, how careful he was with the words, as if he was afraid they’d bruise her on the way out. He wasn’t demanding an answer. He was just… asking. 

Although the answer lived in her chest is certain and undeniable, she hesitated, not because she doubted her feelings, but because she knew the weight her answer carried. Saying it meant opening a door she wasn’t sure she was ready to walk through.

But lying to him was impossible. Not after all this time, he had stood in front of her so honestly, so stripped of defenses.

So she lifted her gaze slowly, breathing out just once to steady herself before she let the truth spill out.

“Yes,” she said, barely above a breath.

“Then… It’s enough for me.”

Her answer alone steadied the ground beneath his feet. It told him he wasn’t walking into this alone. It told him he didn’t have to fear her rejecting him. It told him that whatever walls she built weren’t built to keep him out forever… just to protect herself until she was ready.

“That’s enough,” he repeated softly, almost to himself.

“I’ll wait,” he murmured. He smiled then, small and tender, a little sad around the edges but filled with something warm.

They walked back toward the school slowly, lingering a little longer at every turn as if neither wanted the moment to end too soon. When it was time to part ways, Jaehyun only squeezed her hand gently and whispered, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” before letting go.

Later that afternoon, after she picked up Seonwoo and walked him home, the weight of everything settled on her chest. She had confessed she still loved him. She had let him hold her hand. She had let him wait.

Now, she needed to know what Seonwoo felt. If his little heart was ready to let Jaehyun into their life, even just a little.

After all, this wasn’t only her story now— it was Seonwoo’s too.

Back home, the afternoon sun warmed the living room as Seonwoo sprawled on the carpet with his coloring book. She sat beside him, watching the steady movement of his small hands. Her heart kept beating too fast.

“Seonwoo, baby,” she began gently. “Do you remember the man we met in front of the school?”

“Mm-hm,” he hummed, not looking up as he filled in the sky with blue crayon.

She hesitated to choose her words carefully, but left hook, right hook, Seonwoo cuts her first. “He’s Daddy… right, Mommy?”

“Yes, baby…” she exhaled. “He’s Daddy.”

Seonwoo paused his coloring. His voice softened. “Mommy, why did Daddy leave so fast? Does he hate me?”

The question stabbed right through her.

“No, baby,” she rushed to say, pulling him closer. “No, Daddy doesn’t hate you. He just had to rush, so he didn’t get to greet you properly.”

“Oh…” he nodded slowly. “I thought he hated me.”

His innocence crushed her. Her eyes burned with tears she couldn’t let fall. She brushed his hair gently. “Baby… why didn’t you ask Mommy anything about Daddy? It was your first time seeing him.”

“Because Mommy looked sad,” he said simply. “Did you fight with Daddy?”

She swallowed. “No, baby… Mommy was just surprised Daddy came without telling Mommy first.”

He nodded like he understood.

She took a breath. “Baby… are you okay if Daddy stays here? But maybe…” her voice softened painfully, “maybe Daddy will have to leave for work sometimes, like now. Will you be okay with that?”

It was a test. What if Jaehyun leaves again? How do I protect him?

Seonwoo blinked up at her, thoughtful in that rare, serious way only he could manage. “I want to meet Daddy,” he said honestly. “But it’s okay if Daddy works far away.”

God, he was too smart for his age.

Then he asked, “Is Daddy coming, Mommy?”

“Yeah,” she said softly.

Seonwoo’s reaction was instant. He jumped to his feet, eyes sparkling, voice squealing, “Really? I get to see Daddy??”

She laughed, half relieved, half emotional, then she pulled him into a tight hug. “Yes, baby. You get to see Daddy.”

He hugged her back with all his little strength. “When? When will Daddy come?”

“Tomorrow,” she told him, smoothing his hair. “Daddy will pick you up from school.”

Somehow, saying it out loud settled something inside her.

Seeing Seonwoo so bright, so excited, so ready… it made her heart quieter, calmer, even hopeful.

Maybe this was okay.

And if one day he changed his mind… she would deal with that future herself. All she needed was his commitment to be Seonwoo’s father.

She looked at her son again. “Baby… how did you know it was Daddy? You’ve never seen him before.”

Seonwoo shrugged. “He just looked like me.”

She laughed through a breathy exhale, shaking her head.

“Yeah… he does, doesn’t he?” And for the rest of the afternoon, she let him talk.

They sat together on the carpet, coloring side by side as he rambled about Daddy— how tall he was, how nice he seemed, how he smiled, how he waved, how “Daddy looks like a superman,” and how he wanted to show Daddy all his toys tomorrow.

She listened, smiling, heart aching, and full all at once.

For the first time since Seonwoo was born, she wasn’t imagining a father for him.

That night, after tucking Seonwoo into bed and brushing his hair off his forehead the way he liked, she walked quietly into her room. She sat on the edge of her bed for a long moment, fingers twisting together, her phone cold in her palm. Her heart beat too fast. She took a slow breath and pressed his number.

Jaehyun answered before the second ring.

“Hello?” His voice was gentle, almost cautious.

“Jae…” she said softly. Jaehyun sat up abruptly from where he had been lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah? I’m here.”

She hesitated, tucking her knees to her chest. “How about we just meet at the café tomorrow?”

“Okay…” But the next second, his voice tightened with worry. “Baby, did something happen? Are you okay?”

She shook her head even though he couldn’t see her. “No, I just… want to go to the café instead.”

“Okay, baby,” he murmured. His tone softened into something almost relieved. “Tomorrow, at the café.”

She nodded. “Mm. Tomorrow, 9 a.m.”

There was a silence, but Jaehyun broke it first. “Goodnight,” he whispered.

She smiled at her knees, cheeks warming. “Goodnight, Jae.”

She ended the call and let the phone fall gently onto the bed beside her, and for a long moment, she just sat there, staring at her hands, feeling her pulse everywhere, in her throat, in her fingertips, in her ribs.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Jaehyun would meet Seonwoo properly.

The thought alone made her chest full with excitement and fear tangled together. She lay back slowly, staring at the ceiling as her breath wavered.

She wanted this, but she was terrified of this.

She wanted Jaehyun to finally be happy after everything she put him through. She wanted him to be the father he deserved to be, and most of all, she wanted Seonwoo to know he wasn’t abandoned, wasn’t unloved, wasn’t unwanted. She didn’t want to be cruel to Seonwoo, to Jaehyun, not anymore.

She had been selfish once. She realized running away, deciding everything alone, choosing fear over trust, was already cruel, both to her and the baby inside her womb and Jaehyun. For the last 4 years, she carried that guilt every day, knowing she’d raised a fatherless boy not because he didn’t have a father, but because she had taken that choice from both of them.

But now… after spending time with Jaehyun again, after hearing his truth, after seeing him look at her with the same sincerity she thought she’d lost forever… she’s started to trust him, maybe not fully yet, but enough to know he wouldn’t abandon Seonwoo, and that Jaehyun would be faithful to them. She chooses to believe when he said that he came here not on impulse, not on guilt, but because he truly wanted to stay.

And she wanted him here, too.

If things fell apart… and if her trust shattered again…, because maybe… one day Jaehyun woke up and decided he couldn’t live this quiet life with them— she could still ask him to stay in Seonwoo’s life. Co-parent, visit, be there as his father, even if he couldn’t be by her side.

But deep down, beneath the fear and the caution and the years of loneliness, she believed Jaehyun would be an amazing father. A steady partner. A lifelong presence. Which was actually what she wanted and needed the most, that, if she was brave enough to admit it.

She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly, letting the warmth of that hope settle into her bones.

The words felt strange, surreal— introduce him to his own son— but that was their reality.

She wasn’t sure how it would go, but for the first time since Seonwoo was born, she was willing to try.

For Seonwoo, for Jaehyun, and for herself. For their little family.

credit: divider by @viviansturns

Every writer needs their muse, their motivation. an inspiration, anything. Mark had too many thoughts, too many things to write about but none trivial enough. or maybe he just hadn't looked hard enough, or in front of him, at that.

He had a project due in two days and his paper is blank. Not even a pen mark. He had looked everywhere, anywhere. At anything. He had looked inside, and out. He’d seen multiple things but none stuck. He could write about the grievances of stray dogs. He could write about the neverending push and pull of chasing your dreams.

He could write about love, but ultimately it’ll not be as accurate. He has yet to even feel love himself.

The possibilities were endless. But none of them seemed to strike him enough. To leave an impression. None of them were compelling enough. 

Mark is sitting completely idle at his study desk, his nightstand the only source of light in his room. He’s absolutely defeated. He won't be able to write anything and then he’ll lose his job and he’ll be miserable for life.

No you won't. A voice inside his head had said, strangely it sounded a lot like someone he knew. He couldn't quite pinpoint who, but it rang a familiar gentleness.

Before he even knows it, he’s pulling his phone out of his back pocket and haphazardly typing a quick ‘coffee?’ to a contact he visits way too often than he’d like to admit.

And when an instant reply of ‘sure! meet you at the usual’ pops up, Mark is quick to his feet and already throwing a coat on. He grabs at his keys and his wallet before hesitating on his journal. Surely he wouldn't need it there, right? Right.

He's walking out of his door when he feels giddiness surge through him. A slight buzz in his bones he couldn't quite get rid of no matter how many deep breaths he'd taken. A little jump in steps, and a thin smile on his face. He was excited to see you. 

By the time he reaches the coffee shop you frequent, he’s already shaking. From the cold air of spring, or excitement. Or both.

“Hi” you smile over at Mark when he takes a seat, his freckles soft against his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Spring really brings it out “hey” Mark echoes back.

Mark asks what you’d like to get, as if he hasn't had it memorized that he could write the exact order down with his eyes closed “you know what I get” Mark smiles, a shy blush on the tips of his ears “yeah, I do” he says with a giggle, making you do the same. 

He just wanted to make sure. Sure of what? If he still knew everything about you. 

Mark didn't need long conversations, or deep talks. Your presence was enough. The familiarity of everything else in between and the knowing glances thrown at one another. 

Or maybe it was the fact that you’d always have a fun little story to tell. A small incident that somehow you’re able to turn into a much longer story. It's okay. Mark had always been a listener kind of guy. You didn't need him to say anything to know he was listening. It was the way his eyes would never leave yours, or the way he laughs softly at your witty remarks. 

And when Mark returns with both your orders, you’re already shaking in your seat to tell Mark your rendezvous from yesterday. All is normal, he’s leaned back on his chair, both hands engulfing his coffee in hopes to gain a little warmth. 

His thoughts then trained back to his paper due in two days. Which brings him into a slight panic. He’s only now realizing he can’t be wasting time like this. Not that he thinks being around you is a waste of time. But you get his point.

He watches you make gestures with your hands, maybe to reenact whatever story you're telling. He watches the way your lips move and the way it creases up into a smile every time something funny happens— you always cover your laugh behind your hand. He wishes you’d stop that, your smile was beautiful— He watches the way your cheeks get a pretty shade of pink when an embarrassing detail slips up.

Has he always noticed these things? He's an observant guy. Of course he is. It's the heart of being a writer; observing and interpreting. But had he always been this observant to you?

He knows your favourite color, your favourite show. He knows when you're upset, when you’ve achieved something you just can't keep the excitement in. He knows your house inside out, probably the same way you do to his. Heck, he knows your exact coffee order. Who even does that? 

Mark does, obviously. He's seated in front of you, no fucking clue what you're talking about anymore because he's too caught up in absorbing every little detail on your face. He laughs at something you said, but it doesn't quite process inside his head. He's laughing because you're laughing.

And maybe that's it. Mark laughs when you laugh. Mark cries just as hard as you do regardless if he knows the reason. He walks with you in absolute silence with no intention of breaking it. Mark sleeps on a futon next to your bed whenever you ask him to. Mark would’ve given you the moon if you asked. He would've given it even if you didn't ask. 

If Mark was asked what he didn't like about you, he’d be able to list down a maximum of five things. He didn't like how you never finish your food. He didn't like how you don't dry your hair before going to bed. He didn't like how you think it's okay for an animal to hurt you because at least then, you were able to pet it.

But Mark, those were only 4. He doesn't know the fifth one just yet. He doesn't look for it, either. He likes to think about what he likes about you. 

He likes the way all your teeth show when you smile. He likes the way you link arms with him when walking down the street. He likes listening to you talk for hours on end. He likes it when he knows you’d always call him first. He likes it when you shine in the things that you love doing. He likes it when you–

And oh. Oh. There were many things Mark liked about you. Too much, really. But he realizes, when you break his train of thought to tell him “mark, I have to go soon. I have too meet up with someone”

The fifth thing he didn't like about you, was the fact that he could never tell if you liked him the way he does.

I like you in what way? Mark’s eyes grow positively three times its size. He doesn't know if it's from the realization that he likes you, or from what you just told him. 

Mark is in panic now. He can't possibly let you leave, let you go. “What? Who?” You watch Mark scramble to put his coffee down, eyes shaking trying to watch your every move.

The sight makes you giggle, “I still have work, mark. I was just on break” and Mark is standing. He's standing and walking next to your chair, hands trying to look for pockets to shove it in “I could walk you to your building..?”

God he's so awkward and obvious. You grab your coat and stood next to him, your arm already linking on his “sure. you can walk me out of the café” Mark seems to nod at that, walking with you out the shop, before it dawns on him what that meant. 

Before he even knows it, you’ve both already exited the shop. He's panicking again, his hands getting clammy and awkward. You laugh at him, “I’m gonna go now, Mark” trying to pry your arm out of his hold gently.

Mark looks at you defeated, he’d already given up in trying to sabotage your little meet up with whoever and he hasn't even done much to prevent it at all “m’kay..”

He's so annoyingly endearing and obviously you can’t help but laugh at him. Head thrown back and all. Mark looks at you puzzled. What’s funny?

It takes you a minute to recover, nearly tearing up. Just as you take a step away, a thought passes just as fast as the breeze. You hum, if Mark wasn't going to do it first, then you will.

You lean close to his face with a grin, Mark trying his best to be normal about it. You giggle once more before landing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, the feeling fleeting. And you're gone just as fast, laughing at Mark’s face going cherry red as you're waving goodbye, walking down the street with a hop in your step.

Mark stood immobilized. What the fuck just happened. He brings a hand to where your lips had kissed, the touch still burning his skin as if you were still there, kissing him.

He takes a tentative step away, slowly walking the opposite direction with a dazed look. His mind was far away and his eyes were unfocused. He damn near crashed into a pole and the only thing he worried about is your kiss mark disappearing.

That day, Mark had walked home and sat on his little study desk, his paper slowly filling up with words. That day, Mark had written about love. Because now, he can finally say what it felt like to be in love. And how it felt perfect because it was you, he was in love with you.

He had written about the concept of you. 

I love mark lee. You love mark lee. Me and da homies all love mark lee fawk 😞❤️‍🩹

“I’ll take cranberry vodka.” You nod at her.

After a few minutes she hands the drink to you and smiles. “I’m so happy you got a break. Let’s go dance!”

And so you down your drink and head to the dance floor, doing your best to push his image and touch out of your head.

You twirl around, moving your hips freely to the music and feeling your head become heavier by the second.

After nearly 20 minutes you stumble towards the back in search of the bathroom.

“It’s down the hall, honey.” Another bartender points.

You sigh as you relieve yourself. Few things felt as good as peeing while drunk. You look at yourself in the mirror, laughing at how dizzy you felt. But damn were you hot, you went with the perfect dress tonight, how could you not get any attention from the men out there?

Well, you’ll just have to try again, you thought to yourself and stepped out after washing your hands. The only problem with this plan is that you accidentally turned in the opposite direction and left through the back door of the club.

By the time you realized and turned around to get back in, the heavy metal door slammed shut. “Shit.”

You balance yourself on the wall and walk around, and just as you turn the corner you see something familiar.

It’s Jaehyun’s car.

Your eyes widen, your brain immediately pushing away your desire for any male attention other than his. Wait, why are you like this? He doesn’t want you, remember?

But still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a glimpse of him, right?

You walk towards his car and look up at the building it’s parked in front of.

The building is dark, except for one floor with lit up bulbs. Tipsy and without a plan, you head up to it.

The area is sketchy so you really shouldn’t be snooping around, but you text your friends you’ll be back.

As you approach the level, you hear a lot of talking and arguing. You then peek through a hole in a wall separating the hall from the lit up room and see a man tied up in a chair with a bag over his head.

You look to the left to see Jaehyun. The man of your dreams wears a black t-shirt and jeans, and still looks wonderful.

Your eyes widen when you see him wiping a knife with a long blade clean, blood stains the cloth and you breathe heavily as you notice that the man’s arm is dripping in blood.

“It’s a pity you won’t tell us what we need, we’ll find it out anyway..” His familiar voice echoes in the warehouse. 

“You can try to drink your problems away but you’ll never escape me.” Jaehyun smiles wickedly at him. It’s a sinister smile that would send anyone running, but not you, of course not. You strangely have the adverse reaction, needing to see that face, one he’d give you as you look over your shoulder to see him ruining you from behind. 

Stop.

That’s your drunk mind talking. He was right, no matter how much you drank, you’d never escape him.

Nonetheless, it seems they’d caught the man at the bar you were at right before you got there.

Another henchman brings a crying and tied up woman out from another room and throws her onto the floor in front of the man. The gang member then takes the covering off of the man’s head and the man screams a blood curdling scream as he sees the woman on the floor.

“Your wife has been through a lot already, Leonidas..put her out of her misery now by just telling us the truth..” 

Her husband won’t budge, shaking his head and repeating “I’m sorry..I’m sorry I can’t” over and over. You swallow hard. Your hands start to tremble. What is Jaehyun’s plan if he still refuses to cooperate?

And then, one of Jaehyun’s men kicks her in the stomach repeatedly, making her spew out blood. You squint and look away, but the sound of her screams of agony pierce your ears. 

You start to cry, covering our mouth to quiet your own sobbing.

“Do you really want to see how ugly this gets?” Jaehyun marches over then stabs her thigh.

You gasp as your eyes widen. No. How could he do this to an innocent woman?

The sight is messy and you turn away again. You shouldn’t be here, you have no business watching this. This can’t be the same man that you daydream about. This can’t be the man that you served pastries and coffee to, or the one that made sure you got home safe every night. You feel sick to your stomach.

The man is still silent, Jaehyun rolls his eyes before leaning down in front of him. “She will suffer because of you, is that really what you want?”

The man looks at his wife who is curled up on the ground and in tears. “Please..forgive me.”

“Leonidas! Please!!” She begs while reaching out for him.

Jaehyun steps back and nods towards another henchman who picks up a gun and shoots the lower part of the woman’s spine before your brain can even comprehend what is happening. The sharp sound nearly deafens you, but you still don’t run away. 

Jaehyun looks back at the man as he winces from seeing her writhe like a fish out of water. “Now..she’s paralyzed, was it worth it?”

You step back, but you’re suddenly grabbed up by the collar and dragged into the room by one of the members. 

“Hey! Ow!”

He throws you onto the floor, making you jam your knees onto the concrete.

“Look what we got here boss, a snitch.”

Jaehyun turns to you as you curse out. “Shit! Let me go!”

His eyes widen as he breaks his intimidating presence for a moment. “What the hell?!”

“Do you want us to tie her up?” The man grabs you up by your hair as you grunt. You raise your hands in an effort to scratch his strong arms.

“No! Get your hands off her!” Jaehyun hurries over.

The man lets your hair go, making you fall to the floor and grunt.

Jaehyun quickly places the gun down and helps you up. He grabs your wrist, tighter than ever before, nearly crushing your bone as he drags you out and into the hall. “Ow! Jaehyun..you’re hurting me!”

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?!” He tosses you into a wall, and the fact that you look amazing tonight still doesn’t stop him from being upset about you being there.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I just...I saw your car and -I wanted to see what you were up to and..” you start to sob.

“Why?!”

You sniffle, still tipsy, you can’t hold back the truth. “I missed you and I think..I think I love you.”

His brows furrow. “Love? You can’t fucking love me..”

“Those people..Jaehyun, I…I saw what you did, why are you doing this?”

“Did you like what you fucking saw?! Can you still love me after this? This is what I do, y/n. Get that through your thick skull! I’m not a nice fucking person, I hurt people!” He is infuriated, he doesn’t try to calm you down as you cry harder. He should take a moment to remember that you're probably drunk out of your mind right now, but in his anger, he can't seem to think of that fact.

He’s frightening, you can’t help but tremble under him. His face is filled with fury, and it’s the same face you saw the night he saved you from those two men, but you’re not so sure if you’re as lucky as you were last time.

“I’m sorry-it’s just..I didn’t expect you to—“

“To what?! What y/n?!” He steps closer as he yells.

“Kill innocent people!” You finally let out.

He nods. “Innocent?? What- well! Merry fucking Christmas, hope you liked your surprise. This is exactly why you should stay away from me! You don’t know me! You don’t want to know me! And I don’t want to see you again, do you understand?!”

You don’t respond, you only cry into your hands.

He grabs your wrist again to pull you back into the room.

“Hold her still!” He points to two large men who hold your arms up.

“Jaehyun..stop..please..I’ll leave..” You heave. He picks a gun from the table up. 

“No!! Don’t do this..you don’t have to! There’s another way..Jaehyun..please!!”

The man and woman beg him as well, pleading loudly as they desperately try to escape the men and rope that keep them in place as well.

He shoots the husband and wife 3 times each, making you jump and turn away.

You push the henchmen away from you and wail while on the floor. 

“Look at me!” Jaehyun commands.

He bends down and takes your chin into his hand, forcing you to look into his eyes as his fingers dig into your cheeks. He looks into your wet, red eyes, but not an ounce of regret flows through him. You had to see this, you had to hate him. Only then could you truly want this separation.

He hated to see you cry, but it was necessary. If you saw him as a saint, if you fell in love with who you thought was a “good man” only to find out how evil he is further down the line, it would only hurt more.

“This is who I am..you shouldn’t..you can’t love me..now get out of here.”

He lets you go. You quickly scurry to your feet.

You run as far as you can while crying, a million thoughts run through your head, the loudest being “how could you be so stupid to fall in love with a gang leader?”

Jaehyun turns to one of the men who starts to put their guns away.

“You just killed our lead, boss.”

Jaehyun stares at the dead man who should’ve provided key information as to where enemy shipments were docking.

“The bastard wasn’t going to tell us anything, he even let his wife die..tomorrow, we’ll see if his friend is just as selfish.”

Jaehyun puts his jacket on and heads out without another word.

On his drive back home, he thinks about everything that happened and if he had to do what he did. The truth is he had to kill them. The minute his guy dragged you into the room, this was decided. Should the man and his wife be let free, they would quickly expose your identity to his rivals and put your life at risk, and he couldn’t have that happening. You messed things up and didn’t even know. To make matters worse, based on his reaction everyone in the room could tell you were special to him. 

He lays down in bed and tries to sleep, but after tossing and turning, he decides he should just go to the gym to take out his frustrations.

The punching bag becomes his main target. With every punch he thinks of how he felt when he yelled at you. Why was he so rough? You just confessed your love and this is how he reacts? He doesn’t deserve you. He knew that from the very beginning and his greed and lust still pushed it. He knew it because he didn’t want to just say ‘goodbye’ after having sex with you, he wanted to stay and hold you close, hugging you until the sun rose. 

He wanted to whisper sweet words as he watched you sleep in his arms. He had never wanted this from any sexual partner before. Thus, he realized he loves you too, he always will and for that reason he cannot put your life at risk. 

He sweats large drops of salty water as he pants.

He sits on the bench, wondering if he should call and apologize for being too harsh on you. He plans on leaving you alone, but the least he could do is apologize first.

He picks the phone up and stares at your unsaved number. But after a few seconds, he decides not to call, putting the phone back on the bench beside him and picking up his water bottle instead.

As he gulps it down, and as he does, he remembers how drunk you were and can’t help but wonder if you got home safely. So he picks the phone up and checks your location.

You’re home.

He sighs. He should stop by and see if you’re awake. 

No. He shouldn’t

But once again, Jaehyun can’t resist you.

He uses a lock pick to get into your apartment easily, making note of how he should really get you a chain lock for the inside.

He walks in slowly and quietly before pushing your room door open slightly. And there you were, curled up in bed and snoring lightly. It was nice to know you were sleeping soundly, but he knew his words and actions cut deep this time, maybe too deep to recover from.

He observes your cute face, your brows furrowed slightly and your lips pursed. To be with you—no—to even look at you is a privilege, one he did not deserve.

He places a soothing cream for your wrist on your nightstand as well as a hangover cure drink, then turns to leave.

You take in a sharp breath, causing him to turn around swiftly. Did you wake up?

You breathe heavily, your eyes move quickly under your lids.

“No..no..” You mumble and groan. Your breathing quickens. It sounds like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.

Not knowing how else to help you before it’s too late, he quickly lays down in bed beside you and hugs you from behind. “I got you, baby, it’ll be okay shh.”  

He holds you in his arms until you start to breathe normally again. Your eyes never open. 

I could stay here..just tonight..it wouldn’t hurt, would it? He already knows the answer. He tells himself he is doing this to help you, but he knows he’s doing it for his own selfish reasons. To be able to feel your warmth, to smell your hair, to listen to you breathe in the stillness of the night, that’s why he does it.

Your eyes open slightly but he can’t see, you try to process what exactly is happening while panicking for a moment, but then it clicks. His cologne surrounds you just as his arms do.

Jaehyun.

He was hugging you close as you dreamt.

You decide to close your eyes and enjoy your last moment with him, with the man you could only know now as a cold hearted killer.

After a few minutes, he slowly releases you from his hold and gets out of the bed. 

You both needed to be away from each other for now, so he silently leaves your apartment and heads home.

You wake up the next morning alone and with a splitting headache.

You rub your temple, squinting as the sun peers through your window. Then, you feel another aching pain. 

You look down at your wrist and it all comes back to you.

“Shit.” You whisper to yourself. 

What happened the night before was real..very real actually. Jaehyun made it clear that he wasn’t interested in you anymore, so now the only thing you can do is move on and try to forget him. Try.. at least try. You get up and get ready for work after downing the drink he left for you on your nightstand. That strange bastard. How can he care for you, but hurt you at the same time?

[One Month Later]

Jaehyun mustered up the courage to face you finally. He just couldn’t bear it anymore. Every day he had to watch you travel your usual route from home to work as a little dot on his phone screen. He refused to do it any longer. He had to see you, hear from you, touch you..hold you. It’s the only way he’d feel sane again.

He sits at his usual spot, meanwhile, you didn’t notice he’s even opened the door. Why? You’re too caught up in a conversation with another man. You smile and laugh a bit too much for his liking. How could you? How could you share your happiness with another man while he aches for you?

How and why are you flirting with another customer? And in just a few minutes he hears it. 

 “Thank you Johnny, I’ll see you next time.”

You even call him by his first name? 

The man takes his bag of bread and heads out with a small smile.

Jaehyun looks back at you, only to catch you smiling hard as Johnny leaves.

But then, your smile fades when you see him.

You flinch when you see him at your counter and he notices. He really did scare you that night. He thinks to himself. His heart does hurt when he remembers how badly he messed up, but his mind is enraged with the thought that you may have moved on.

You look away and start to wipe down the counter. 

“Do you know all your customer’s first name’s now?” Jaehyun says as he tilts his head. You ignore him. 

You look over your shoulder to the back.

“Mark! There’s someone out here who needs help”

“Ok!”

You resume your chore, scrubbing an already clean surface as you try not to face Jaehyun. He controlled your every thought night and day. He’s no good for you, you know that, and you figured distance and time would help. Yet, here he was. Never allowing that theory to come true as he closes in on distance and takes up your time.

Mark looks around nervously. You hired Mark shortly after that incident so you could 1. Not be alone with any creeps and 2. Get some help in the bakery. There’s no way you can handle all the work yourself. 

He clears his throat. “What would you like to order?

Jaehyun chuckles, “A minute with the owner.”

Mark sighs then looks back at you while you place fresh cookies on the display. He turns back to Jaehyun and pouts. “Unfortunately, we don’t have that”

Jaehyun frowns. He feels like an asshole for how he acted. Technically, he had no right to be upset with you, and he only came to apologize. You don’t owe him a word and you’re clearly upset, so there’s no point in making your pain last longer.

Mark sighs and walks away.

“Y/n..how I acted that night..was completely unacceptable. I was..worried about you, but I made a fool of myself and went too far. You don’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry. I understand why you don’t wish to speak with me..but I will never stop hoping that one day you do.” He stands up.

You look him in the eyes, holding back tears as your chest rumbles.

”Please leave if you don’t plan on ordering anything.” You say through thin lips.

You head to the back office as Mark takes over the front. 

You try to act like you don’t care but deep down you do. and as you sit at your desk, you lay on your arms and wonder what should you do. Why does your heart feel so heavy with guilt? You’re the one that’s hurt, right? You deserve better, so just wait for it. But no..you want him, you can’t deny it. He was terrifying that night, he went too far. 

However, as news surfaced about the couple he killed, mysteriously found dead in the woods, the truth about their wrongdoings came to light. They used money from drug trafficking to start up their own ring of slave trafficking, a completely new level of crime. You remembered enjoying coffee one night while closing. You asked Jaehyun if his job entailed hurting innocent people and he assured you he didn’t, turns out, he was right. 

Long story short, he saved a few innocent lives by taking care of those rotten demons. He is an interesting variation of Batman.

He still scared you though, that you wouldn’t deny.

Jaehyun is dissatisfied with you ignoring him, but he leaves you alone.

[The Next Month]

“Happy Birthday Mark!” You and your friends yell out at the busy nightclub.

Mark smiles widely and thanks everyone before putting two soon-to-be-emptied bottles up in the air. 

You dance the night away and do some drinking yourself. You bump hips with Mark and throw your hands in the air while having an amazing time. The lights flash, the music is nearly deafening and the floor shakes under your feet. It’s nice to let go.

“Want another shot?” Mark pushes his hair back while leaning towards you.

Feeling quite tipsy, you shake your head. “I’m good!” You didn’t need things to go south like they did the last time you got drunk.

Mark hugs you tightly before running off to the bar. You laugh while watching him prance away without a care in the world.

A few feet away from you sits the club's owner. He takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets it rest inbetween his fingers while leaning back.

“Let’s dance, babe…it’s too boring here!” The girl in a tight hot pink dress sitting beside him runs her hand over his thigh. He brushes her away and scoots further down on the couch. 

“I’ll tell you what..go ahead and dance and if I like the way you move, I’ll join you.”

She jumps up and runs to the floor, still oblivious to the fact that his attention has been on someone else the entire time.

“Hey.” You hear a low voice call out from behind. You turn to see a tall man with blue hair gazing down at you with wide eyes. 

Why not? You think to yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve felt the embrace of a hot guy.

You start to dance, letting the music flow through your bodies as they grind against each other.

He runs his hand along your throat, tilting your chin so that he can access your lips from behind. You can feel his steamy breath hit your bottom lip, you’re so close and then-

You’re separated. 

“What the fuck, dude?” The man lets out when he sees a girl in a tight pink dress walk away after bumping into the two of you hard.

“Sorry about that.” a male voice calls out from behind you. You turn and gasp.

Jaehyun.

“She got a little carried away.” He walks after the girl. Your heart drops. Did he just brush past you like that? Not even a glance or “hi.” Are you really nothing to him?

You shouldn’t be surprised. You’re the one that cut things off. So why does it hurt so bad to see him with someone else?

“You good?” The blue haired man interrupts your thoughts. 

You force a smile. “Yeah..yeah for sure! Do you..want to go to the bathroom?”

He smiles widely and takes your hand. The two of you struggle to make your way through the crowd and towards the back to continue your makeout session. 

Jaehyun watches you and sends a message to one of his men.

He tells them to lock the bathroom doors. He knew you were less likely to make out with the guy in public like this.

He had to stop it.

“Hey! You said you like the way I move, let’s dance!” The girl grabs his arm.

He pulls away, gently taking her hand off of him. “I’ll be right back.”

He hurries to the back where he sees you both struggling to open the door. Suddenly, the power is cut off. You can’t see anything and now the guy's hand has left yours. Everyone yells and screams. Some screaming out of fear, some screaming out of excitement. It’s chaos, but after just 10 seconds, the flashing lights and music come back on.

Your makeout partner, however, is gone.

You look everywhere for the handsome blueberry, but he’s nowhere to be found. 

“Shit.” You say quietly then head back to the dance floor to look for Mark and your friends.

Jaehyun owned the club so it didn’t take long for him to get what he wanted. Power off? Got it. Bathrooms closed? Done. Blue haired guys get kicked out for no reason? Absolutely.

You push your way through the crowd and bump into Jaehyun again. This time, the girl he was with earlier has an arm around his neck while dancing against his chest. He has a cigarette in his mouth, but gives you a sly smile when he sees you watching them.

She grinds on him but his eyes are focused on you. His dark eyes are hard to resist, boring holes into your skull and making your clothes feel even tighter than they were before. You swallow hard then turn away quickly and continue to look for Mark.

The night goes on and you continue to dance with your friends. It’s not until about 3 AM that everyone is ready to leave.

You wait for an UVER outside with a hammered Mark.

“Boss. That was..so..fun..” he slurs out.

“I’m glad you had a great time.” you laugh out as he rests his head on your shoulder.

30 minutes have passed and UVER drivers have either declined the ride or not shown up at all. “What the hell is going on?”

Other people had their designated drivers and were heading home already. The night air starts to feel extra chilly when you realize it’s just the two of you outside now.

“Busy night?..” a man says as he drives up to the front of the club.

You look into the car. “Yeah it seems like-“ your face drops.

“I can drop you guys off if you’d like.” Jaehyun continues.

You step back. “We’re good..thank you.”

“Please y/n..you’re on the way anyway.”

“I said we’re fine! Just leave us-“

Mark stumbles to the ground, falling face flat. 

“Shit!” You yell out then try to pick him up.

Jaehyun hops out of the car to help you.

“The UVER should..ugh..be here in a few minutes.”

Jaehyun leans Mark against his car and looks at you with a serious, almost scary expression. “Are you lying to me?”

You roll your eyes. “Why are you talking to me like I’m a child? Just leave us alone.”

“I’ll wait until it gets here.”

“We don’t need you to do that” 

“It’s my choice, I won’t go home until everyone else does.”

“Oh, are you pulling a Batman again?”

“Come on y/n, think about the surge rates..”

You look away and cross your arms.

“I was a dick, I know-“

“Was?” You raise an eyebrow.

“But let me make it up to you, I’ll drop you both off, he can get rest and you can get home safely..please.”

You look at your phone and sure enough UVER has boosted the price 5x.

You look at Mark then at Jaehyun. “Fine.”

He helps you put Mark in the car. He sleeps and lays on his side on the backseat.

You then sit in the passenger seat with your hands in your lap. A few minutes pass and Jaehyun can’t help it.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

He nods. 

“Did you like the nightclub?”

You don’t respond this time, you only look out of the window as he drives.

A few seconds pass and only Mark’s snoring fills the tense air.

“We worked hard on it, changed the tiles, redid the bar, and-“

“How are you always conveniently popping up?” You ask him angrily.

“You can’t just come to my club and not expect to see me, y/n..” he says smoothly.

You turn to him.

“My..club?”

He can’t contain his laughter “oh you had no idea huh?”

“You never told me you owned a nightclub..” 

“I never told you much about my job, baby”

You shiver when he says “baby” in such a low tone. 

You scoff. “Job..if that’s what you call it.” You roll your eyes and relax into the seat.

‘And that’s why it didn’t work’ is what you want to say, but you don’t.

“I also didn’t know you started smoking again.”

Jaehyun can’t help but smile. You’re worried about him, and it shows in how much attention you give him. You still care.

“I didn’t..just needed a little something tonight.”

“Good. I hate the smell.”

He looks at you to see if you realized your mistake. 

“Does it matter anymore? I’m never near you..” He tilts his head.

“Oh…right.” You say quietly.

He clears his throat. “How have you been though? Is the business doing well?”

“I don’t want to talk, Jaehyun.” 

And there it is. You shut him out again. Was what he did that bad? Yeah, he may have killed a person..two people..in front of you..twice, and yeah, he may have yelled and said awful things. But did it warrant this treatment from you? Well..yes. You’re too good for him, he needs to remember that. He swallows hard when he comes to the realization that he will never stop trying to get you back. Whether it takes 1 month, 5 years, or a decade, deep down, he will always want you. 

He waits for a few minutes to pass then he tries again.

“Come on sweetheart, we can start over.” He grips the steering wheel tightly with one hand.

The slight airiness in his voice sends you back to the night you had with him. His sweaty skin against your body, his large hands gripping you tightly enough to wring you dry. All while he pants and leans into your ear to call you “sweetheart.”

You close your legs tightly and shake the memory away.

You chuckle. You can’t believe the audacity of this man.

“First of all don’t call me that…and it seems to me you’re already starting something with another girl.”

“Oh?..did that upset you?”

You turn to him. “Seeing a cold killer dance with someone? No..no I’m not upset at all, I feel bad for her.”

he glances at Mark to make sure he’s still sleeping. “A killer? Me?” He chuckles.

“He’s passed out, and even if he wasn’t I’d kill you if you laid a finger on him.”

“Oo a threat?, I’d like to see you try, I wonder if you’d start trembling again?”

“Oh fuck off.” You roll your eyes.

“What about that Johnny guy? What’s his deal?”

You bunch your brows. “Oh did that upset you?”

Jaehyun shakes his head and looks into the road sternly. “You guys just seem close, that’s all.”

“You think I’m sleeping with every customer I know on a first name basis now?”

“No-that’s not-“

“Yes, Jaehyun, you caught me. I’m fucking Johnny and other customers before and after work every day, happy?”

He turns to you, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes. 

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” You turn back to him.

“Don’t get sarcastic with me.”

“Or what?”

Just then Mark snores loudly, so loud you jump in your seat. The two of you burst out into laughter.

The rest of the drive is silent. You both help Mark into his apartment, then Jaehyun drives you to yours.

He lets you out at the loop right in front of the building. “Do you want me to walk you up?”

You turn to him before stepping out of his car. “Since when do I need help to get to my apartment?. Goodbye Jaehyun.”

He takes your hand. “I..I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” You withdraw it from his hold and walk away. 

The night ends just like countless other nights have ended for him, he dreams about you, grasping the sheets on his bed, hoping to feel your skin just once. Eventually, he gives up and either works out or stands in front of his floor to ceiling windows with a cigarette in hand while watching the sun rise.

[Two Weeks Later]

Jaehyun holds your hand gently, helping you into the massive teacup you’re about to ride in together. It’s been a great day at Disney, and now with the sun setting, casting a warm glow onto your lover's face, you enjoy one last ride together.

The cups spin and spin, making you slide up and down the curved bench inside. Jaehyun giggles and reaches out for you to hold you close. You rest in his broad arms, time seems to stand still for a moment. You only feel the peace of the air in between you, the longing gazes, and the golden hue of the sky. 

His smile fades into a frown. “I’m sorry sweetheart..”

Your brows bunch together. “Sorry? About what?”

You’re jolted awake by the sound of your vibrating phone.

“Damn it..” you rub your eyes before grabbing your phone. Another stupid dream about your stupid ex-wait, could you even call him that?

You yawn while scratching your head. “I really gotta stop doing that.” But you can’t control your dreams, they manifest from what your heart wants. Nonetheless, you unlock your phone to see what the notification is.

It’s a text

Banker: let’s meet to discuss a few things about your application.

You nod to yourself. “Perfect.”

You knew what the Banker meant when he said he wanted to meet up. In exchange for him tweaking a few things on your loan application, you’ll satisfy his..specific needs. Will this be your proudest moment? Probably not, but you need to do what you need to do.

You swallow hard. Jaehyun’s face of disappointment enters your mind. 

“Ugh…” you lay back down in bed. He did have a point. Why should you sell yourself when someone you actually like is willing to give you money for just existing?

Then you remind yourself. Where is that money coming from? It’s blood money, and you want nothing to do with it.

And sure, he’d be disappointed, but what does that change? At the end of the day you still have a stack of bills that are starting to tilt like the tower of Pisa on your dining table. 

“Wait..what he thinks doesn’t matter.” You sit back up in bed and laugh to yourself.

You: Okay

[The Next Day]

Jaehyun pours the milk over his cereal before exhaling loudly. He still regrets how he acted with you, he misses you more than anything, but what can he do to fix everything? The truth is he knows he’ll have to let you go, you deserve better anyway. You deserve peace and a partner that can help you run your business. A partner that will bake with you then go over your finances together. 

Jaehyun sits down while imagining what he thinks is the life you deserve. You and your partner could eventually offer catering and delivery services for your bakery, you could hire more people so you wouldn’t have to work so hard. And then you’d have time for kids-

Kids..

Jaehyun’s smiles fondly. “She’d be a good mom…”

All of this can and will happen..just not with him. He needs to let you go, for the thought of you being with someone else is just too hurtful. The time is now, he needs to change now. And the first step is deleting the tracker app.

He unlocks his phone and opens the app for the last time. “She’s probably at the bakery right now..”

But no…you’re not at the bakery. You’re in a random parking lot.

He chews slowly and stares with a puzzled expression.

Any plans that you made would likely be in your text or map history, so he decides to take a look at your recent texts.

He puts his spoon down, standing straight up as what he sees shocks him to his core.

“The fucking banker.” 

Jaehyun grabs his jacket and runs out.

He’s furious especially since you already tried doing it this way and he stopped it. How could you do this to him? How could you do this to yourself? He speeds to your location.

Meanwhile, you and the banker sit in his car in the middle of a relatively empty parking lot. You sit nervously in the passenger seat.

The banker tells you that he went over your profile and application, and he’d be happy to approve your loan with the minimum interest. 

You’re ecstatic and relieved. “Oh my god…that’s amazing, thank you!”

The 50-something year old looks into your eyes and nods. “I made it work for you.”

“I appreciate that..”

He leans forward and stares at your lips. “You are so beautiful, I had to do something to help.”

You take a deep breath and try to accept what’s happening, but you can’t bring yourself to meet him halfway.

He opens his eyes. “Oh..is this too much? I’m sorry, I-“

“Oh no..it’s fine..but I’m..not ready yet..”

He looks defeated, and sits back in his seat.

The guilt starts to rip through you, he isn’t pushy or aggressive. He genuinely is helpful, but the attraction just isn’t there. 

You break the silence. “I’d rather let you touch me.” 

You’re quiet and shy, a stark contrast to how you are with Jaehyun because deep down, you don’t really want it.

“Oh..really?”

You nod.

He leans forward, biting his bottom lip as he reaches out. He caresses the warm skin of your neck before moving his hand further down to your shoulder.

You swallow hard as the man pushes your strap off your shoulder slowly, then drags his thumb over your bra. 

“Is this okay?” He asks. You nod, desperate to have him finish quickly so you can go home and relax. He puts his other hand into his pants.

Yes, finally-just get it over with and-

*crash*

The driver window suddenly shatters as someone punches through it.

You scream as you watch the masked man covered in black attire from head-to-toe punch the banker through the window in seconds. There’s glass everywhere, on the floor, in your lap, and all over the banker’s clothing and hair.

He then grabs him by the collar and drags him out of the car through the space created by the broken window.

The banker screams, but the man holds the banker up by the collar and chokes him until he loses consciousness. Your mouth falls open, he may just kill the banker.

“Stop! Please! He didn’t do anything! We were just-“

The man lets the banker’s limp body drop to the floor. You sit in silence as you watch him look down on his body for a few seconds. Then, a chill attacks your spine. He lifts his head and his focus slowly shifts to your face.

Your eyes widen. The panic sets in and you jump out of the car, running away from the masked man. 

He runs after you at an alarming speed.  His steps triple that of yours. You can’t out run him. He grabs you by the waist and swings you around. 

You flail in his arms. “Please!! Please don’t hurt me!”

He doesn’t say anything, he simply throws you over his shoulder and takes you to his black van. You sob and beg him to let you go.

He only turns back around and walks to the banker. He takes his wallet and watch then walks back to you while shoving them in his pocket. Through the small slit over his eyes you can see a menacing darkness. You have no idea what his intentions are, but you don’t think they’re good. You look around you to see rope, tape, bags of cement, bricks, and a shovel. You start hyperventilating and scurry to the corner of the van to get away from him, but he still gets closer and closer to you. 

“Hands behind you.” The man says through a voice changing box. You do as he says and place your arms behind you. He easily spins you around and ties you up with rope. He then spins you back and stares into your eyes.

“Please..let me go..I don’t even know him that well..if he owes you, just take it out on him..”

The man doesn’t say anything, he looks at your exposed shoulder and drooping bra cup now resting slightly above your nipple. He reaches over, a flinch escaping you as a result.

He keeps moving his hand until he grabs the strap and fixes your dress over your bra again. His icy fingers graze your skin.

You swallow hard and start to relax just a bit. “Th-thank you.”

He leaves the back of the van, slamming the door shut before jumping into the driver’s seat.

In a few hours, the banker is hit with the worst headache of his life. He stands up slowly and looks at his broken window. Then, it all starts to come back to him. He sighs. He doesn’t have his wallet or watch, but he’s more than happy to be alive. He heads home like nothing happened. He’s pretty sure you were kidnapped, but what could he do? He can’t tell any one of what happened or call the police because technically he isn’t supposed to be meeting with clients, especially not in sketchy areas like that.

Telling the truth would only make things harder for him. He shrugs his shoulders and turns the radio up.

Once in a secluded area, the man parks and opens the van door.

“Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone about this I-“

He takes his mask off and you gasp.

“Y-you..you fucking bastard.”

Jaehyun doesn’t respond, he unties you and with the van door still open, you dash out of the van and run.

Finally, you’re free. Just keep running and then-

You come to an abrupt halt when you realize you’re at the edge of a cliff.

“Shit.” Your eyes widen. 

“Help!!! Help me!!!” You yell but the echo only comes back to you.

“No one can hear you scream out here, sweetheart.” Jaehyun says as he walks towards you at a leisurely pace.

You walk back to him angrily. He smirks slightly.

You slap him hard. “Take me home now! I can’t believe you fucking kidnapped me!” His face swings to the left, and he steps back in surprise. He looks back at you with narrow eyes as he clenches his jaw.

“Saved you. And no, not until you explain what the hell you were doing with that creep.”

“Oh my god…I don’t even know if he’s okay..did you kill him?” Your hands grip your head.

“No, he’ll just be out for a little while.”

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“I could’ve done worse if I wanted to, you already know that.” He steps closer to you. His eyes darken, and that scary, murderous glint in them starts to show through. 

“Now..explain what you were doing…or I WILL go back and kill him so there’s no chance of it happening again.”

“You’re crazy! I don’t owe you an explanation! You mean nothing to me!” You say too fast without realizing that it was a lie and mistake.

Jaehyun is shocked, but he chuckles, tilting his head to the side in a sort of ‘well, well, well’ manner.

Is this what he needs to hear to finally let you go? 

“I-“ you sigh and your voice lowers slightly. “You know what I mean, Jaehyun. We aren’t married, we aren’t dating, we’re not even friends. Why should I explain my personal life to you?”

“So what? I’m supposed to act like I don’t fucking care?”

Your eyes widen as you walk towards him again with frantically moving hands. “Yes! Yes exactly! Because one second you do care and the next you don’t, it’s driving me crazy! What is it that you want?!”

“You already know that answer.” He tilts his head.

“God, Jaehyun. I’m done with your games.” You wave him off and turn away. 

“You didn’t want it, y/n. I saved you.” 

You flick your head back to him. “Well, Batman, guess what? I was so close to getting what I needed! But of course, you make it about yourself.” You put your hands on your hips and look back out at the cliff. “Plus, you scared the shit out of me!”

“And I’m sorry about that, but it was necessary.”

You scoff. “Necessary? You always do what you think is necessary without considering how it might affect me…”

“It’s what’s best for you, y/n.”

You close your eyes tightly. “Oh my God, you’re impossible.” 

After a few seconds of silence, you pretend to walk by him, but quickly grab his pocket knife from his front pocket. He spins around when he notices, but you press it into his neck quickly.

He chuckles before tilting his mouth into a devious smile. “You never told me you were a spy..” he says sarcastically after seeing you move with such precision. 

Truth was, after nearly getting pick pocketed, and possibly worse, on the night he saved you, you took up self-defense classes.

“I’m not playing around, Jaehyun. Take me home.” You press the blade in slightly.

He’s surprised, but he knows you won’t actually hurt him. “Come on y/n..this isn’t you.” 

He has to admit that seeing you like this did turn him on slightly. He feels a twitch in his pants as he imagines you holding the knife to his neck, riding him while you cry his name out to the heavens. Then he’d grab it from you and flip you over so he could pound into you from behind, holding the knife to your neck as he smashes his hips into you. You’d be the prettiest broken thing by the time he’s done with you.

“I’m different now, I’ve seen the things you do, I want nothing to do with you.” You were lying, you still love him. You dream about him nearly every night and your heart races when you think of him, even as you try to remember how cruel he is. 

He steps forward, forcing you to walk backwards to the van, still looking into your wide eyes. 

“W-what are you doing? Stop moving!” You blink rapidly.

“Do it, sweetheart, kill me, if I mean nothing to you…do it.” He smiles.

As turned on as he is right now, he knows that you are heartbroken because of him and now is his chance to be completely honest about his adoration of you. He needed to fix things fast. If you wanted to leave him after this, you should at least know how he feels first.

With the knife still pressed against him, he leans down closer to you. 

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry. But I miss you..” he searches your panicking eyes before continuing. “I need you, I can’t go five minutes without wishing you were near me. You’re the only person I’ve truly..felt something with and I panicked, I don’t know what to do, I’ve never…”

You swallow hard, but don’t lift the knife away. Not yet. You need to hear more.

He pauses and looks away. “I don’t know. I don’t deserve you, I know that. But I’m a greedy bastard, I want you anyway.” His eyes float downward to your lips. Despite trembling like he expected you to, you don’t remove the knife.

“You can kill me if you’d like, that will be the only way for my mind and body to rest without you..” He continues to close the distance between you. “..but before you do, just kiss me one last time.”

Your mouth falls open. You’re stunned, still searching his eyes for a sign that he may be joking, but of course, no sign is there. The stone cold man with menacing tattoos just revealed how madly in love he is with you and you can’t do anything but stare in shock.

Your mind is telling you to run, to grab the keys, start the van, and drive home. But your heart..your body..your soul..you can’t leave him. 

You stumble and fall into the van. The knife drops out of your hand and Jaehyun leans forward, caging you in between his arms as you lay down. You breathe heavily and stare at each other’s lips.

He wants to taste them so badly, but he waits for you. It could take all night, but he’d wait for you. Just one, that’s all he asks for before this is all over.

And after waiting for a painfully long amount of time, you hold his face with your hand and kiss him. Your heads turn and your tongues explore each other.

He crawls over you, holding himself up with one arm while the other hooks itself under your leg and pushes your knee to your chest. Frantic and steamy breaths cover your bodies.

You lean forward on your elbows, starting to zip your dress down from the back, but he stops you. He picks his pocket knife up and cuts through it easily, causing an embarrassing moan to escape you. You help him take his shirt off too. The look on his face is one of pure hunger and it’s hot.

“I hate you so much.” You say softly then reach for his face again. You kiss harder, so hard your teeth clink against his. 

He leans back to get air after a few seconds then pants as he looks down at your body in a gorgeous lilac lingerie set. “You were really about to let that loser see you in this?” He tilts head while carefully dragging the knife against your bare skin.

You take in a sharp breath as goosebumps raise across it. Answer incorrectly and you could just become a kebab right then and there. But part of you wants to push him

You nod. “If you don’t love me right, I may still let him see it after this .”

His eyes narrow as his tone deepens. “Don’t..push it.”

“Don’t disappoint me..” you hold his face in one hand while looking into his eyes, easily maneuvering your way to his thick hair. He blushes then begins to kiss you as your hands run through this locs. He groans at the feeling of your fingertips on his scalp.

You giggle. “Are you blushing?”

“No..” he groans against your chest, ignoring the way his face feels like it is on absolute fire.

“Liar.” You smile and massage his scalp with your fingers. You unhook your bra and throw it to the side.

He caresses your breasts while kissing you then grabs your legs by the crook of your knees and fixes himself between them. 

“I want you too, Jaehyun..I’ve never felt this way either..but I can’t take you hurting me anymore.” You whisper. “Promise me you won’t hurt me again.”

He kisses your neck. “I promise..to love you and care for you for as long as you’ll let me, y/n.”

He leans back and takes in the sight once more. You look up at him, staring at his defined abs, impressive chest and rock hard biceps. You should’ve recognized him as the masked man from the beginning. Only he could confidently swing you around like you weigh nothing. He drags the cold tip of the knife along your thigh and then hip. You shiver at the feeling, he loves to see your chest rising and falling. 

He uses the knife to tug the fabric covering your pussy. You gasp as you feel the cold object being so close to you.

Then with a quick swipe he cuts through the left strap of your underwear that hugs your hips. “Jaehyun! I love this set! What are you-“

He cuts the other side.

You draw in a sharp breath. “Damn it.” 

“Now..no one else will have seen it but me.” He lightly drags the dull side of the knife along your cloth-covered slit to see goosebumps a little bit longer the second time. When he finally cuts the other side, he removes the wet fabric to see your flower dripping and aching for him. He licks his lips and breathes heavily. He feels he might go crazy if he doesn’t fuck you right away.

He leans down to kiss you again.

His fingers find your folds, collecting the essence. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his digits enter you slowly, stretching you out to prepare for him.

He pulls away to speak softly against your lips. “Are you going to listen to me? Are you going to obey me like a good girl?”

And in the golden hue of the setting sun, he is magnificent. You can’t help but moan and nod. You’ll say yes to anything at this point, he could tell you to walk 100 miles with him in the rain or snow and you’d agree to it.

Your eyes roll back, you shut them and bite your lip as he works his fingers, your hips rocking against his palm.

He leans back and grabs your chin with his other hand. He looks into your eyes with a dark, lustful gaze like he can’t wait to tear you apart. “Speak.”

“Yes…I’ll do whatever you say.” Your eyes round as you look up at him, feeling beautiful in (half of) your special set.

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “Perfect.” He pushes his pants down in one quick motion.

“Can you close the van door?” You ask innocently, trying not to look down at his long dick, tip red and swollen with pre cum leaking. He strokes it slowly, watching as you swallow hard.

And if he had time, he’d torture you by forcing you to watch him pleasure himself before decorating your belly with all that he’s saved up for you. 

He’d lick it up, then kiss you so you could taste it too. He’d lick along your opening until you beg for him to stop, then he’d be hard again and start all over. All while not letting you feel his dick.

You’d be unsatisfied like he’s been all these painful weeks without you. The desperate pleading and whiny noises that would escape you would get him there quickly too. Fortunately for you, your pussy feels so good around his fingers, he knows he’d be a fool not to paint your insides tonight.

He looks back at the quiet woods surrounding the van, no one is there, but the thought of someone actually peaking from behind a tree to watch and listen to him fuck you until you’re a sobbing mess makes it hotter. They can see how good he, only himself, can make you feel. They can grow envious of how well you take him, all while not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Of course, he’s being dramatic. No one is there. But it doesn’t mean he won’t put on a show.

He smirks when he turns back to you.

“Why? Scared someone will see you being a complete slut for me? Scared someone will hear you?”

You shake your head. “N-no, it’s just-”

He enters you quickly, pushing in so deep your body can’t help but clench in an effort to push out the penetrative object. You hold back a loud scream as he takes you suddenly.

You arch your back.

“Fuck..nno..I..” you press your hands against his chest. 

“Hmmm what was that?” He pulls out then pushes in again. You feel every ridge, every vein. Even after all this time, you still have each and every inch memorized. It’s like he owns you. Like he’s made you into his own personal fuck toy.

He grabs your waist with both hands and pulls out then pushes all the way back in like he’s trying to beat some world record for deepest penetration.

He goes even deeper than before, knocking the wind out of your chest.

This time, you can’t hold back, you scream loudly and grab his shoulders with both hands. “Jaehyun! I can’t-!”

He chuckles then places both ankles on his shoulders. He places his hand on your stomach. “Relax, my love, have you forgotten how I feel?”

He pulls out completely then pushes in again. He clicks his tongues. “Shame..now this will take more time.”

He stays in and rubs his hand along your stomach while you pant.

You push his pelvis away as your head falls back. “Too much!”

“Nothing is too..” he thrusts. “Much..” he thrusts harder then pulls out. “For..” he thrusts hard enough to shake the entire van.

“You..” he pulls out then pushes completely in again, ruthlessly fucking you to fit him. “I know my good girl can handle it.”

You whine and shake your head. “Jaehyun! Ahhh..I ca-..” he shuts you up with a kiss, licking over your bottom lip and swallowing your tongue as you cry. Your nails dig tiny craters into his back while he drives you insane.

He pulls away and kisses your jaw. “So..tight, my love.” He starts to suck your neck hard.

You feel his hands grip you tightly to hold you still. Tears fall from the sides of your eyes after feeling so stuffed you might break. 

But within a few minutes, you’re meeting him halfway, swaying your hips slightly to get him to hit that spot. You can’t stop mewling and telling him how good it feels. Your head falls back, your mouth falls open. He controls your body with every movement he makes, fulfilling every filthy desire you’ve had for him these last few days. How could you ever hope to be satisfied by anyone else? You want to praise him, you need to praise him. And so you do, chanting his name over and over in between faint and breathy yes’.

“See? You take me so well.” He watches your boobs move up and down with each thrust and even in this dull van, you are vibrant. Your beauty is that of angels that only grace this earth for minutes at a time before returning to heaven. He’s never seen anything like it.

He loves everything about you, from the curve of your top lip to your warm thighs, he can’t get enough. 

“My pretty girl..” he runs his hand down the center of your chest as one hand holds your waist. His hand goes all the way down, just to hover over your clit.

You look down and moan, but quickly swallow it as it’d be embarrassingly loud.

He only laughs while rubbing circles onto your clit. “Cum for me, baby..I can feel you holding it in. Remember, no one can hear you out here.”

He moves in and out more easily as your slick coats him. He leans forward, biting a nipple while his fingertips massage your clit. “Come on..give it to me, sweetheart, I missed you.”

And so you do. You shake and hold his arms for stability, crying out his name amongst swear words only nature can hear. “Good girl…” he teasingly flicks his tongue against your nipple while staying inside you.

Your hand caresses his scalp as you start to come down. You breathe heavily, quickly building sweat on your body.

He leans back and pulls out slowly, staring down at your entrance that leaks all over the floor of the van.

“Give me another one sweetheart, you’re so pretty like this.”

You shake your head. “I’m sensitive..I just need-.” But it’s too late, he’s already slid his slender fingers back into you, brushing against your walls so he can coat them with his own slick. “Wait!”

Your fingernails find his back and scratch into him again as he moves faster. “S-slow…please.”

“You said you’d follow my orders..” he pulls out completely, then pushes his fingers into you. He lays on his side while you still lay on your back, trying to regain your composure.

He watches as your eyes and legs close tightly.

“Let me see my pretty girl..” He swats your legs apart then rubs your clit mercilessly with his other hand. 

“Hnn..not yet, please..” you gasp as you feel the pressure of his fingertips.

“That’s it, right?” He says as he finds your sweet spot. He kisses your lips, swallowing your whimpers. You start to melt.

You can’t take it anymore, you yell his name out into the night and grab his wrist as you climax again. He chuckles, then removes your hand so he can keep moving. A puddle builds under you as your entire body loses all sense of control. “Good girl..look at the mess you’re making.”

You pant and your mouth falls open.

He places his fingers into it. “Taste yourself.” 

You lick around his fingers but his other hand still circles around your clit at a fast pace. Your eyes widen. “Don’t look so shocked.” He gives a sly smile. 

You squirm in his arms, picking your body up from the floor, but his toned body won’t let you escape. 

“It’s what you want..what you need.” He turns you on your side and hugs you tightly from behind. You reach out for the back of the driver seat to try to pull yourself away from him, but your fingertips just brush the black leather.

Jaehyun chuckles.

“Where are you going? You have to give me more..” he holds you tightly against him, entering you once more. 

“No more, please!” you push against his hips, but there’s no use. He continues to hold onto you and make you mush.

He moves repeatedly as you reach out for anything to grab, but only finding the cold metal of the van.

“Jaehyun!” Your head falls back. You shut your eyes tightly, feeling that ache in the pit of your stomach grow stronger. You have no choice but to accept that he won’t let you go. He stimulates you so well, you wonder how you can cry out for release, but desire more at the same time.

“Imagine someone IS out there..imagine they’re watching us and touching themselves right now..you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers into your ear.

Unfortunately, your pussy betrays you by clenching at the possibility.

He chuckles lowly and it makes goosebumps raise. “That’s my girl..you like people watching you take my seed…it’s gonna be so deep inside, and you’re gonna show them how well you hold it in for me like a good girl, right?”

All you can do is whimper. 

He chuckles when seeing how mesmerized you are by him. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out.

“What if I keep you here? Breed you over and over?” He places his hand on your stomach again. “You’d be even prettier with a swollen belly and big, full tits. What do you say?“

You moan loudly and tremble.

Everything he says pushes you closer, you can’t think straight, you want to feel him everywhere. He’s all you can think about. 

“Sweetheart? I need an answer.” He nips the back of your neck.

“Yes..yes!”

You quiver around him. His steamy breath hits the back of your ear while he bends over you.

“Yes that’s it, this pretty pussy wants more and more..it’s never satisfied.” His low voice ruins you.

You clench uncontrollably and cum again, this time you lose your breath and nearly pass out. You’re so weak, all you can focus on is steadying your body.

He turns you over onto your stomach, grabbing your ass before staring at your dripping and swollen entrance.

He slides his dick in between the slit to tease both himself and you, watching as you flinch from the sensation. “You’re so wet today, maybe I’ll fuck you in public more often.”

His hands grip your waist once more, pulling you back onto his cock. 

He pushes into you slowly this time. His arms wrap tightly around your chest as if he is afraid you’ll slip away at any moment. His fingers pinch your nipples as he groans.

“You smell so good..” his face rests on the back of your neck, he kisses it and breathes heavily. 

You moan as he moves slowly against your aching walls.

“Are you ready to take it all?”

You nod and whimper. “Yes.” There’s no point in telling him you’re still reeling from your last climax and are too sensitive for the next one. He needs you now and he won’t stop for anything.

“Say it.”

“I..l” you close your eyes tightly.

“Come on sweetheart, look at me.” He places a hand to your chin to turn your head towards his. You look over your shoulder and into the eyes of the dark haired man bringing you to the edge with deliciously long strokes. He’s beautiful, a work of art even.

With your eyes locked you lick your lips. “Make me yours…I need you..”

Jaehyun’s movement stutters. He holds himself back from cumming just from your words and glossy eyes alone. He can’t believe this is real, he can’t believe he isn’t dreaming of making love to you right now and is actually doing it.

He kisses you and groans into your mouth, while your fingers still intertwine with his hair. His grip on your hip tightens and he moves faster.

“I need you too, my love..so badly.. keep me in”

“Yes..yes!” You arch your back again. You can’t believe yourself right now. Thirty minutes ago you wanted to kill this man, and yet, here you are allowing him to fuck your brains out and make you so stupid you can only think about being full enough to bear children for him.

His fingers move to your clit again and you see stars, your body tenses and you can’t stop clenching around him. 

You feel his abs flex on your back. “You can handle it right? Please..please tell me you can.” He speaks right over your round lips, and his voice is higher now. You gasp at the sound of his suddenly desperate and breathy pleas.

“God yes! I can! I’m your good girl..” you cry out. He feels so good, you can’t take it. You know you sound pathetic, but it doesn’t matter. The idea of being fucked until you’re leaking for days is so hot to you, it’s nothing but embarrassing.

“Tell me..you love me..tell me…please.” His voice cracks slightly in between his groans.

You look into his glossy eyes, searching them for a light that will tell you how he truly feels. You hesitate to tell him the truth. Not for fear that it will break his heart, but that it will break yours.

You love him, however, it’s never enough to make him stay.

“I love you..”

“Again..” he pants.

“I love..you.” 

“Again..”

“I love you, Jaehyun.” You whimper.

“Again, sweetheart..” he moves faster, feeling dizzy with how tightly you hold him.

“Jaehyun..please..I love you..Jaehyun.”

His fingertips dig into your skin. “One more.” He could listen to you chant his name in between “I love you’s” all day and night.

“I love you so much..I need you.” You let out as your body grows weaker.

“Yes, that’s it..I’m here for you, my love..take it.” He releases deep inside you, moving slowly to ensure you have every drop. He holds you fast against him until he’s sure your skin will be sore for a few days.

You moan loudly, convulsing around him before your body collapses.

“Fuck...” he lets out breathlessly when he pulls out. He lays down beside you and hugs you from behind for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry..”

You brace yourself, you can’t believe he’s doing this again. “..for what?”

“For ruining your beautiful set..I’ll get you another one.” 

You breathe a sigh of relief and smile.

You both get up and try to get dressed with what’s left.

Jaehyun takes his shirt up and drapes it over you. You tie the remnants of your dress around your hips to turn it into a skirt. You then get into the passenger seat as he gets into the driver seat, and head home.

When you’re halfway there, you notice Jaehyun doesn’t head in the direction of your place. “Wait..where-“

“I’m taking you home.” He drives with one hand on the steering wheel. 

“Home?” You smile to yourself, hoping he doesn’t look over to see how excited you are.

Once at his ridiculously large apartment, he runs a bath for you and cleans you thoroughly. You relax in the tub after he places epsom beads into the hot water to soothe your aching body. You close your eyes and feel him gently pour water over your back. It’s quiet. You’re too hoarse to speak, meanwhile Jaehyun is too nervous to say the first word. 

Jaehyun thinks about how much he loves you as never in his life has he pleaded for anything and especially not during sex. He doesn’t know how you do it, but you’ve got a hold on him unlike anything else. After several minutes, he speaks up.

He sits on the edge of the tub. “If you can give me another chance, I promise not to mess it up. I need you.”

You look into his eyes. “..you scare me.”

He stops moving. “I’m sorry.”

“You change your mind and act differently every day, and with no regard for other people. You have to let me know what you want.”

He leans down and kisses you deeply. When he pulls away he kisses your forehead. “Does that answer it?”

You smile softly and nod. 

He then lays you in his bed and after he showers, you fall asleep as he rubs your back and looks onto your soft face.

The truth is, you scare him too. These feelings are all too new to him. He used to live without care for anyone, even himself. Risking his life daily, for he did not care what would happen to him. But now..now he has someone to care for..someone to live for. You are someone he wants to be better for and the power you hold over him for this reason is scary. He felt this longing and care for you even before you let him touch you. Just being your friend was something he was grateful for, but now that you returned his feelings, he truly felt the magnitude of his desire for you.

The next morning, you’re happy to see you’re still in Jaehyun’s arms.

He’s happy to feel you next to him in reality, he doesn’t have to dream about it for once.

[The Next Night]

Johnny loosens his tie as he watches his neighbor pull into his driveway. He sits in his car before heading into his house, sighing while looking out into the night sky. One day, just one day, he’d like to be able to leave work on time. Overtime is his least favorite thing in the world—just in front of gang leaders of course. They make his job incredibly difficult. As the lead detective in his unit, he always has to pick up where the officers slack off at. To make matters worse, he went to his favorite spot for lunch, but the owner wasn’t there for once. He just hopes she’s okay. Maybe she’s getting some well deserved rest finally, he thinks to himself. Although, he finds it odd that you did promise to let him try out a new recipe for an Italian inspired bread. You were so excited when you spoke to him about it two days ago, and yet, you didn’t show.

“And the final touch is oregano! I’m so excited about it, you have to try it on Thursday for me! I trust your opinion.” You said with a wide smile as you sat with him. 

“Cute.” He thought to himself as he watched your eyes crinkle.

Suddenly, something catches Johnny’s eye. His neighbor’s front driver window is broken or rather-crumbling apart as he drives in.

He leaves his car and walks over to him.

“What happened?” Johnny’s brows furrow.

His neighbor jumps, startled by the deep voice just behind (and above) his head.

“Oh! UHhh hmmm..well..I work at a bank you know..sometimes people uhhh think I take money home with me haha!” The banker laughs loudly.

Johnny stands there with a stern expression. He doesn’t find it funny.

The banker then clears his throat. “Yeah umm someone broke into it..”

“Did you see them?”

“..kinda.” He shrugs

“Oh that’s terrible..come by tomorrow to submit an official re-“

“No!” The banker raises his voice suddenly, shocking Johnny into stillness.

“I mean..it’s all good, it’s not necessary. I was out on unofficial business anyway!”

Johnny continues. “Are you sure?”

“Yup! I have insurance too so it’ll be fixed within 24 hours! You have a good night!” He waves and starts to walk away.

Johnny watches and wonders why he’d be so nonchalant about the entire thing.

“Quick question..” he calls out and the banker turns hesitantly.

“What did they look like? I’d like to at least know that in case they continue to rob others in the city.”

“Of course! Although..I can’t describe him well..”

“It was a man?”

“Yes..that much I know.. a relatively tall man..he wore all black..a thick black turtleneck and black mask so I couldn’t see anything..”

“What did he use to break into your car?”

The banker chuckles. “You’re not gonna believe this but..he used his fist.”

Johnny’s eyes grow. What kinda maniac breaks through glass like that?

“Anyway! Goodnight!” The banker runs off into his house.

[Two Days Later]

You head back into work like normal, returning after receiving calls from a numerous amount of people asking where you were. It’s unlike you to be missing from your bakery for so long.

Truth is, you and Jaehyun spent A LOT of time together. Each time you tried to recover from your..sessions..Jaehyun would start all over again. It’s clear to see he missed you dearly. Luckily, you knew he didn’t just miss your body. He missed laughing with you too. You watched movies together and he even cooked for you. You couldn’t be happier to be in an official relationship with him.

“I’ll see you later.” You kiss his cheek and pull away. The two of you were leaning against his car, unconcerned about whoever saw you flirting with each other for 15 minutes.

Johnny watches from inside the bakery, sitting at the counter and sipping his coffee.

He looks at Jaehyun who wears a simple black T-shirt and jeans. The tall man looked good, but not as good as he’d look without all those ridiculous drawings in his body. He chuckles, is that jealousy he feels? He could end all of this by just arresting Jaehyun. You’d be safe, he’d be put behind bars finally.. Johnny knows what Jaehyun does, however he  doesn’t have enough evidence to put him away for a long time. Jaehyun kept things clean.

What are you doing with him? With a dangerous man that has tattoos covering his neck and arms?

“..covering his neck..” Johnny looks at the counter as he thinks to himself

a thick black turtleneck…

He remembers the banker's description. Who wears a thick black turtleneck in June? Normally, robbers wore a hoodie or thin sweatshirt

His eyes float back up to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun pulls you back for one final kiss and that’s when Johnny sees it.

A bruised right hand with little cuts along his knuckles.

Johnny’s eyes widen, but he quickly becomes calm when you walk in with a wide smile. “Hi! How are you?” You say with a grin.

You’re glowing, and Johnny feels that jealousy tinge in his chest again.

He takes a moment to respond. You put your bags down in the back then come back out while putting your apron on.

“Johnny? Everything okay?”

“Oh! Yes..yes of course…I see you took some time off.”

You smile brightly. “Yes! I needed a little break. I’m glad Mark was able to keep the place in one piece.” You laugh as you look around the somewhat clean bakery.

“Where did you go?”

“Oh..I was here..I mean, in the city..I just spent some time with my..boyfriend.” You smile even harder and giggle to yourself.

He forces a smile. “That’s nice to hear, y/n. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Thanks, Johnny!” You start to load the display with freshly baked cookies and cupcakes as Johnny gets back to drinking his coffee.

If you knew the kind of person Jaehyun was..why would you decide to date him? Jaehyun had to have been hiding his identity from you, Johnny thinks to himself.

And robbing a banker? That’s a low, petty crime for Jaehyun. Why would he do something like that himself? Surely, he’d have one of his minions do it? There were many questions on Johnny’s mind as he sipped quietly. He knows he has to find the answers quickly so he can free you from the deadly man that is Jaehyun.

An AO3 Exclusive Book

Regular updates: Monday - Friday

AO3 Chapter link:

Chapter 1: Prologue (link here) - Chapter 2: Hidden Takes (link here) - Chapter 3: New Feelings Meet Old Feelings (link here) - Chapter 4: Hello Full Moon (link here) - Chapter 5: New Me (link here) - Chapter 6: The Next Morning (link here) - Chapter 7: Packing Up (link here) - Chapter 8: Really Goodbye (link here) - Chapter 9: Break Up (link here) - Chapter 10: Baggage's (link here) - Chapter 11: Surrounded By Darkness (link here) - Chapter 12: Taste of something New (link here) - Chapter 13: Goodbye, goodbye (link here) - Chapter 14: Hello, hello (link here) - Chapter 15: Good to see you (link here) - Chapter 16: Ten and Kisses (link here) - Chapter 17: Mother (link here) - Chapter 18: All is found (link here) Chapter 19: Not yet posted Chapter 20: Not yet posted Chapter 21: Not yet posted Chapter 22: Not yet posted Chapter 23: Not yet posted Chapter 24: Not yet posted Chapter 25: Not yet posted Chapter 26: Not yet posted Chapter 27: Not yet posted Chapter 28: Not yet posted

Here's a little snippet.

Preview: The first Change

20:00

"I thought it'd be cold tonight," Jaemin mutters walking hand in hand with Haeyeon. "But it's not,"

"That's because you're here." Haeyeon smiles briefly fixing her eyes on their intertwined hands.

"That's so cheesy," he chuckles. "Donghyuck's influencing you badly,"

"Cheesy or not it's true," she mentions playfully swinging his hand that's in her's, back and forth. "You're the one who brings warmth to this cold earth. You bring warmth to my heart too. Without you by my side, can you imagine how different the weather would feel? It'd be dark, cold... emotionless."

Haeyeon turns her head towards him. Every time their eyes met, she was sure that something changed, the adoration for him grew and it became harder to hide it. Even right now in this moment with his eyes twinkling and her heart beating fast a fond energy emerges in her. She was falling for him harder then ever.

His hand lifts up to the side of her cheek patting it lightly. "You're not going to lose me, you're my missing puzzle piece," he sings softly.

Softly she places his hand over her chest to feel her heart. No words come out when his palm feels the quick beating of her heart. A radiating beam displayed on both their faces, this happiness felt too good to be true, almost like a dream. He gently slides his hand up her chest to cup her cheek. Gently running his thumb over her lips he begins to stare trying not to kiss her but instantly gives in leaving a light plant over her lips. Her hands slowly trail up his neck into his hair.

Jaemin grins pulling away bringing Haeyeon in front of him wrapping his arms in front of her as they walk further to their destination, into the woods talking lightly about what would happen. All thoughts of the steamy make out of earlier is replaced by this new warming kiss.

"We're almost there," Jaemin mutters. They got further and further away from the twinkling lights of the city, now following a dirty path into the depth of length long and wide trees. By now Mother Kim would start worrying but Haeyeon already excused herself. She thought it wouldn't be that long but the pin drop of where Donghyuck wanted them to meet was far away from civilization. Her legs feel wobbly and they ache but she pulls through hoping that the light leg cramps would go away. Why only now? She internally groans.

Similarly, Jaemin's heart beat quickens every second and his stomach twits and turns uncomfortably. He gulps down his own saliva trying his hardest not to reveal his pain and discomfort. They both knew why they were there, even if they worried about how the night would turn out or if they could hold their own pain in- they were there for Donghyuck. Their friend who would put off everything to be there for them.

Soon enough on the ground with a bag and a blanket stretched open with a small telescope and recording camera they find Donghyuck in the middle of it all, surrounded by a stretch of trees.

"I can't believe you packed all this," Haeyeon starts ignoring the pain over her knee but runs non the less to Donghyuck. "Are we pulling an all-nighter with you or what?"

Donghyuck with a keen spirit joyously brings her into a tight hug. "Haeyeon! Man I've missed you so much,"

Haeyeon dips her head into his shoulder holding him securely. "I've missed you more,"

"I've missed him more- she said. Mhm, that's why you didn't call or text, nothing." He sticks his head up snobbishly playfully sulking refusing to hug her back– although his arms instantly hold onto her when her legs buckle causing her to nearly fall. "Wo- are you okay?"

Jaemin is quick behind her holding her waist for support. "Easy, easy. Babe, you good?"

"Yeah, sorry," She nods her head holding onto Jaemin's arms. "I think I'm worn from the walk, I'm fine now, thanks guys. Nonetheless why are we here and not in your room?" She swiftly dismisses the topic of her legs, already being used to the little wobbles but not wanting to scare the guys -she skips to the man of the hour. Donghyuck brightens up getting back to the spot on the dirty soil on top of the blanket.

"This is where I always find myself after the full moon. This spot exactly," he explains he shows them a tree that had sharp marks. "Look here,"

Haeyeon leans in closer with Jaemin right behind her. Still with his hands around her waist, his head places itself comfortably on her shoulder to keep her balance.

"What is that?" They ask in unison.

"Perhaps a mark to claim territory. I have reason to believe I did this. I don't know, but it's clear that whatever did this isn't human. That's why I'm here," Donghyuck nods assuring them that it's him. "I didn't think you guys were gonna come,"

"Why wouldn't we come?" Jaemin mumbles and shifts uncomfortably due to the pain slowly churning in him. He immediately plants himself deeper in between her shoulder leaving a light kiss on her neck. His body quivers after he gulps down to try controlling the abnormal stir in his stomach.

Despite all the pain he's going through, he doesn't even notice the big bright smile that makes it's way onto Donghyuck's face. Donghyuck always loved sharing things that he found interesting with his friends.

"Sorry about yesterday," he calmly blurts out, owning up to his mistake.

Jaemin acknowledges the sincerity in Donghyuck's voice. Jaemin shakes his head giving a pained smile. His body was slowly failing him. "It's okay. What are we waiting for?" His body twitches.

"Babe, are you okay?" Haeyeon asks, detecting her boyfriend's mediocre yet strange movements.

Jaemin nods his head forcing a smile. "Let's just get this over with,"

"Right."

“Right,” Donghyuck nods his head pointing to the clouds. “See the clouds blocking the moon. I predict that once the moon is revealed then- Jaemin!”

Jaemin falls to the ground letting out an earsplitting screech. Haeyeon’s eyes widen when she crouches beside her boyfriend trying to hold his face in her hands but he cruelly shoves her away dragging himself hard against the tree panting roughly.

Her attention snaps to Donghyuck hearing bones cracking witnessing his body tumbling to the floor as he yelps and groans. “Donghyuck!”

She runs towards him but stands still in shock when his eyes turn from black to a sharp heavy and dangerously glowing hazel brown. He lowly shrieks out slobber running down his chin from the breaking and creaking sounds that come from his mouth when larger and bigger teeth grow. She gaps in horror watching the bleeding gums and his mouth full of slobber blubbering.

“Get- syringe now!” He yelps rolling on his back completely manifesting agony.

She collects herself from the shockwave running to his bag on the floor but halts after hearing her boyfriend yelling heatedly. Her attention lingers between the two boys watching them in agony. While Donghyuck’s body eccentrically grew wider and ripped through his heavy padded jacket and skinny jeans, Jaemin’s posture was bent over on his knees with his appearance shining and sparkling towards the moon as he excessively bellowed in throbbing pain when sharp long fangs emerged from his mouth and his jaw stretched wider to accommodates the thrashing line of sharp teeth that grew inside.

Haeyeon stumbles back in panicked fear hearing the two male figures suffering with every hit from the moon. She unsteadily crawls over to Donghyuck’s bag briskly swiping through everything trying to look for the syringe. As she dug thoroughly she didn't notice that now the full moon was on full display and not hidden in some parts of the cloud.

She finally gets the colored blue liquid in the sharp needle stick, the syringe, from his bag about to dash to him and his mutating nearly naked figure rolling and howling- unexpectedly her limbs give up on her and she thumps hard on the dirty soil. It’s enough for Donghyuck’s transfigured long lanky body to leap to her trapping her underneath him- slobber drenching on her face.

The slimy tall mutated thing growls with force causing her to bursts in terror screaming for her life. His growl is short lived when a huge force collides into him pushing him away from her. In return she’s covered by the force and hears a whimpering snarl bitterly from the thing that pushed Donghyuck.

Haeyeon’s eyes peek open to the thing in front of her, but widen when seeing it’s Jaemin panting heavily and his body looks so built in his almost torn shirt that work hard to contain all his physiques. She’s about to rejoice that Jaemin saved her however his head hastily turns towards her with infusing red eyes staring maliciously.

There’s a dangerous smirk placed on his lips when he grabs her neck and his snake like tongue slithers out and licks over her lips paralyzing her, her eyes are hooked onto his demonic red eyes and a long line that represented his iris. She stutters in fear.

“J-Jaemin- pl-please.”

Tears cover her eyes as she struggles to breathe under his harsh grip around her neck as he lifted her up smelling her body. His own body trembled with pleasure as a coursing strength and energy flowed through him, what was this? He felt alive and new.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’d never hurt you.” His snake like tongue springs out of his mouth bringing her closer to his face. “I just want to kiss you... I want to taste you. I want you. Oh sweetheart, you're making me hungry. I kept thinking about us this morning after that kiss. You woke me up you know, and for that I say thank you. Let me taste you,” he darkly laughs but is knocked over by an almost hairy mutated being that screeches.

Jaemin’s fangs spike and he hisses towards the mutated Donghyuck. Even in pain of a slow transformation and struggling to control himself, Donghyuck saw that his friend, Jaemin wasn’t the same anymore... In his body he saw Jaemin as a threat.

Haeyeon falls and hurts herself badly but still holds onto her neck shaking as tears pour out her eyes. That is not Jaemin! What was going on? Was she going to die? Just then her breathing is short when a nasty cough makes its way up to her throat and dots begin to cover her eyes.

She makes out Jaemin, using his forceful hands clashing dangerously with the mutated Donghyuck? She was confused, although Jaemin looked like himself but a more demonic version with red reptile eyes, a bit more strikingly handsome face, and his body looking built in strength and strong- with extensive large fangs poking out his mouth and a screeching hiss- Donghyuck looked nothing close to human. He looked disfigured and broken with hair sticking out parts of his slimy body. Her eyes fail to analyze more and her body collapses on the ground passing out.

From a distance Taeyong parks his jeep as he and Taeil come out with large chains.

“Do you hear that?” Taeyong asks hearing abnormal shrieks and grunts. “Sounds to me like we’re opening our doors to new students.”

“What a mess.” Taeil announces hiking towards the passed out girl on the ground. Taeyong rapidly paces towards the two aggressively fighting beings pulling his hands apart with a direct force knocking both Jaemin and Donghyuck against a tree.

“You can say that again,” Taeyong mutters clapping his hands chanting a spell. “Sereto Di Ma Freebros.”

Taeil gets up from the ground moving closer to Donghyuck, and his half fleshly half slimy growing body.

“Damn he’s still transforming. Doesn’t he feel pain?” Taeil asks as he draws closer with a large chained leash. He throws it around Donghyuck’s neck just as Donghyuck frantically growls vigorously shaking his head. Taeil hands the chain to Taeyong. “Must be his first transformation.”

“Metoram Eert Eht Dnuora.” He chants and the chain spikes going tightly around the tree. “Fabu.”

Donghyuck is set free from that invisible bound that held him. He tries to pounce towards Taeil and Taeyong but is pulled back by the chain. He groans in pain getting down on his knees as he’s fingers grew freakishly long and the bones on his back broke and developed getting larger. Nothing could stop him from yelling in discomfort and in anguish as his body and bones kept breaking and forming into something that was inhumane. His last pant as a human was unheard by anyone but Donghyuck felt it himself that the pain would finally stop when his vision enhanced and he saw everything clearly. He tried to speak but what came out was a vulgar bark. His full figure was large and grown into a full black-

“Werewolf? You’ve got to be kidding. Those things exist?”

Both Taeil and Taeyong’s heads snap to the tree behind where Jaemin looked unexpectedly calm with a sickening smirk as he spoke.

“So he was right. He’s a werewolf.”

Taeyong continues to stare Jaemin down but his conversation is directed to Taeil. “He looks like a vampire, but I’ve never seen one like him in years.”

“That’s because he’s an Incubus Vampire. Long Fangs, bloodshot red reptile eyes, clear skin- he’s known for being the highest vampire if we’re speaking hierarchy level.” Taeil states with his knowledge. “He’s ancient, a creature capable to extract vital energy from their victim through dreams at the same time using seduction based tricks by draining their vital energy by drinking the victims’ blood. If we’re being realistic, he should be a dream entity instead of a living being.”

Taeil then points to Haeyeon and looks at Jaemin.

“Is she your victim?”

“No,” Jaemin rolls his tongue playing with his words as he ominously chuckles smiling darkly. “She’s my girlfriend. Ahhhh. She smells so good. Can you smell her?"

Jaemin inhales letting out a lethal laugh opening his mouth revealing the sharp rows of teeth in his mouth.

“I thirst for her. Let me go.” He asks calmly.

“Not until-”

An earsplitting hissing taunt emerges from Jaemin when he screeches. “Let me go!” Whatever birds where in the tree in that moment all flew away fleeing from the deranged sound of the vampire.

“This one is going to be a challenge.” Taeil mutters.

“Ko pa mique reya.” Taeyong speaks holding up two fingers at Jaemin. Surprisingly nothing happens after the spell making Jaemin chuckle. "It's not working, Taeil?"

“Are you trying to make me sleep? That’s not gonna work with me.” Jaemin laughs.

“I’m guessing this is your first transformation too,” Taeil speaks walking back towards the jeep ignoring the boiling bark from the werewolf.

He comes back with a metallic bow and arrow gun striking once on Jaemin’s neck. Jaemin stiffens up grunting and hissing sending deadly daggers towards Taeil.

“That’s known as a strap. Goodnight.”

-

The morning comes with a clear pinkish hue of the sun rising and clouds parting. Donghyuck’s eyes narrow a bit feeling confused but yet so refreshed. He sits up on the bed stretching his arms, looking towards the window with light curtains. He scratches his head until the events of last night hit him like lightening.

“SHIT!” He jolts up from the bed touching his whole body, perplexed by the clean white clothes that covered his body.

He remembers it all, the entire night, of how he left his house hoping that he’d find answers as to why his body acted strange. His expectations came nothing close to what actually happened. He transformed into a wolf- a werewolf and although painful it was the most breathtaking moment of his entire life. A smile hangs on his lips as he continues to touch his chest and face. Wait till Jaemin- holy crap.

He remembered it all, Jaemin also turning into whatever it is, a superhuman- Donghyuck thought. Jaemin was scary. Donghyuck turns his head to the lightly lit room, spotting Jaemin on the opposite bed dosing. Donghyuck gulps thinking of the entire event. He fought with Jaemin… because Jaemin wanted to hurt Hay-

“Haeyeon!” Jaemin snaps his eyes open panting heavily.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Donghyuck says in an alarmed tone. "Dude-"

“Where’s Haeyeon?” Jaemin gets off the bed still with his old clothes but their slightly torn. He holds Donghyuck by his shoulder shaking him. “Where’s Haeyeon? I think I hurt her? I don’t know. I don’t remember. Everything is foggy.”

Jaemin holds his own head in frustration.

“Dude.” Donghyuck starts. “What happened to you last night?” He’s still in a daze completely shocked by Jaemin’s turn. “You turned-”

“I don’t care about me- where’s Haeyeon? Where are we?” Jaemin looks around the large beige room only seeing two beds. “Where’s Haeyeon Donghyuck?” Jaemin asks again in fright.

Before Donghyuck can respond the door opens up revealing an unknown man. “She’s safe and I’m glad that you two are finally awake. Come with me if you seek answers to your unanswered questions.”

The man signs and heads out leaving both the boys confused but instantly following so that they wouldn’t get lost. After crossing numerous of halls seeing some teenagers walk into rooms or walk around Jaemin finally sees a clock. It was 6 in the morning. Where the hell were they?

They enter a large office that was stacked with books and artifacts that looked almost real and almost fake. Jaemin still dragged in pure confusion is anxious while least Donghyuck had a little smile on his face exploring everything new around him. Where were they? The place looked magical and something out of a book.

“Please do take a seat,” The man speaks pointing to the chairs that were in front of his desk.

Jaemin analyzed the man and his silver animatic hair, he felt like he knew the man but that was strange because he had never met the man before. Even so Jaemin takes a seat muttering a polite thank you which surprises the man.

“My name is Lee Taeyong. You may remember this or not but yesterday was a full moon.”

Donghyuck’s eyes almost burst out from the little words.

“And you both had a transformation. Do you guys remember that?”

Donghyuck nods his head attentive, yet Jaemin’s head fogs up by the memory only remembering pain.

He shakes his head. “I know that it was the full moon, but I can’t remember transform- I’m sorry,” Jaemin shakes his head leaning forward on his seat with worried eyes. “Where’s Haeyeon?”

Taeyong analyses the young man in front of him. He was definitely different from what he encountered yesterday, he surely is not a normal vampire- Taeyong thinks. He looks at the dark black eyes that conveyed his concern. The Incubus Vampire he met last night had no emotion what so ever concerning the girl called Haeyeon.

“She’s resting. She was in the room opposite from yours. She’s okay,”

This calms Jaemin down for a bit and his attention snaps to the man, Taeyong. “I’m sorry for interrupting but you were talking about some transformation, what does that mean? What happened last night? Everything is foggy for me. Where are we?”

Taeyong nods his head. “I used to have a speech prepared on magical history, but as time passed a generation of greedy little know it all’s emerged and fabricated the stories. Right now you are in my office, I’m the headmaster of Neo Cultured Prep Boarding School.”

Both Jaemin and Donghyuck’s head go back in shock.

It’s that bogey fancy rich school for those smart brats- Jaemin thought. He doesn’t know what to feel but a pulsing anger as well as a forceful nonchalant behavior engulfing him.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Hold on, I’m confused. Isn’t this school a top academics school?”

“It is,” Taeyong nods his head. “We are the best academic’s responding school both for young adults and cultured youth. However, the privileges of this school renounce normal human beings but instead we embrace youths like you. But the public doesn’t know that.”

Jaemin turns to Donghyuck in confusion. “They are a school of magic,” Donghyuck explains.

“The word is supernatural- and there are many aspects and territories to that word. Everyone in this school has something in them that makes them special and uniquely different. But the world outside us rejects the unfamiliar and therefore wouldn’t understand. That’s where we come in and embrace the unfamiliar.”

Donghyuck’s eyes widen and he points to himself and then to Jaemin. “Are we also part of the unfamiliar?”

Taeyong nods his head. “Yes you are. I need your full undivided attention as well as honesty-”

“I don’t mean to be rude but,” Jaemin shakes his head rubbing his face in both exhaustion and annoyance- he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling so bipolar. “I don’t know you. You’ve kidnapped us and brought us here to your fancy school to tell us that we’re magical beings? No supernatural beings?”

“Yes. I'm sure your memories will come back eventually confirming that you are indeed a supernatural being,” Taeyong simply answers. “What do you think?”

“I’m thinking that I’ve lost my mind completely or that-” Jaemin’s eyes widen and he turns his head to Donghyuck. “Werewolves are real? This is beyond insane. How is that even possible?”

“It’s a long ancient story,” Taeyong admits. “A story and lesson that our classes cover up first year.”

“In my first year I learnt about academic literacy and business,” Jaemin mutters.

Taeyong nods his head. “We cover that too. We wouldn’t be a top performing school if we only focused on 'magic'. Right”

“So what are you saying?” Donghyuck asks. “That supernatural stuff is real and that you’re going to teach it to us?”

“You must be enrolled into the boarding school of course, with that said I’ll need to know your names.” Taeyong answers. “And I’ll need to consent with your parents,”

Jaemin zones out when Donghyuck excitedly talks about how he always believed that things like this were real. Jaemin’s only thought is on Haeyeon and also what happened last night. “Donghyuck you’re saying nonsense again-”

“It’s not nonsense okay?” Donghyuck exclaims. “It’s all real. Everything I’ve been saying and reading about is all real-”

“Real?” Jaemin snaps glaring at Donghyuck. “You want me to believe that you’re a werewolf? This is insane-”

“But it’s true. You saw me turn…didn’t you?” Donghyuck becomes silent again and the room dwells in a cold eerie silence. What happened to Jaemin last night. Donghyuck turns to Taeyong. “How did you know about us? How did you find us?”

“Finally, a question.” Taeyong nods his head sitting up in his seat. “You might not like the answer I give, that’s a pre warning. I am a warlock-”

“Which is a male witch,” Donghyuck mutters to his friend.

“-Wizard and sorcerer. I sense changes of the night every full moon. There is a river I go to, that river tells me the names and incidents that will happen every full moon. I happened to hear the names Lee Donghyuck and Na Jaemin in the river,”

Jaemin’s ears perk up to his own name. “You heard my name?”

"Yes that is why I have to confirm with you," Taeyong nods his head. “Na Jaemin, yes. I heard both your names months ago on the other hand I was incapable to pin point your exact locations, as the wave signals were low. Every full moon you’d either not transform or fight the urge to transform and that is impossible since you can’t fight the urge. Now I ask you both, how did you do it?”

Donghyuck fully intrigued by it all answers first. “I read this once on the internet in a dark website. I created my own mixture that would help me sleep through all of my pain, it’s called-”

“Strap.” Jaemin answers. “I think that’s what you guys hit me with right?” Jaemin asks as the image of a black haired man taking out a bow and arrow gun striking his neck.

“First off it’s very dangerous to be making those, you could get hurt. Secondly, it’s dark internet sites like that, that we keep you from viewing and hurting yourself.” Taeyong turns to Jaemin. “Your turn.”

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders. He didn’t know what he did to block his so called transformation. “I’d lock myself in my room and would keep my feet in a bucket of cold ice. I don't know.”

Taeyong nods his head turning back his attention to Donghyuck. “As I said before in the beginning, you might not like what I’m going to say, but I need to ask you something to make sure that I can enroll you here.”

Donghyuck nods his head unsure of where everything was heading.

“Unlike your friend Jaemin, his Incubus comes from a generational line. Yours whether you know it or not, isn’t passed down like the movies emphasizes on. It’s a curse and in order to let’s say activate that curse something deadly has to happen. Triggering your werewolf senses comes from a long line of murder. I understand that you're an orphan, so you wouldn't know much of your family’s history. But since this is concerning you, I'll have to ask. Lee Donghyuck,” Taeyong sternly looks to Donghyuck. “Who did you kill?”

“What?” Jaemin’s the first to react getting to the edge of his seat. “Incu-what? Murder who? This is all made up bull. Donghyuck has never ever done something as cold as murder-”

“I did.” It’s low, but Jaemin catches the words. He turns to Donghyuck seeing his friend looking terrified.

“I need to know the truth, so that I know that you aren’t a threat if I’d have to enroll you in the school.” Taeyong says his piercing gaze latching to the young boy. “Who did you murder?”

Donghyuck swallow’s the bile down his throat. Jaemin lays his hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder turning melancholy. Donghyuck throughout his life had suffered an amount of pain, some were unspeakable while others even if spoken out loud were never to be spoken about again.

Jaemin stares at his friend, maybe that’s why Donghyuck always flew away into books and obsessions with things that weren’t real, hoping to have some sort of power to make his life better. Jaemin now felt bad.

--------------------------------------------------

That's just a snippet, but I can assure you that the book is already finished, all that's left is to post it. So I'd really appreciate your vote, so that I know where this book is going. AO3 or Tumblr.

Have an awesome day, thanks

Hendery does not know what to do, a lot of feelings are swirling around inside of him and they’re all conflicting with each other. He is angry, upset, confused, anxious and guilty all at the same time and it is driving him nuts. Every time he sees Dejun in the shop he’s reminded of what he saw and the confession he witnessed between his best friend and you and he wants to confront him and at the same time not. He doesn’t realize that he’s been starring at Dejun for the past twenty minutes until Kun clears his throat and looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

”Why are you staring daggers at Dejun like you want to burn a hole through him?” He asks and Hendery blushes looking away, the guilt coming back at how he’s acting, he should be happy for the two of you not whatever this is.

”Sorry Kun.” He sigh ” I just have a lot of conflicting feelings right now and I don’t know what to do about it.” He admits as he cleans the coffee station slowly as if the motions of wiping away coffee dust will melt it all away. 

Kun observes him for a while, he’s aware that Hendery takes things to heart, sometimes too often even when it is not necessary to do so and he wonders if this is a simple misunderstanding between the two. He throws a quick glance back towards Dejun and wonders if the guy even knows that Hendery is upset with him, if he does he is doing a brilliant job at hiding it because unlike Hendery, Dejun is acting all cheerful and kind as usual, nothing about him screams that he’s upset or in conflict with his best friend. 

”You get ten minutes to go and sort whatever it is that you think is going on between the two of you. Don’t make me regret it, okay?” He tells Hendery who just stares at him confused as his hand stops the ever circular motion of cleaning the counter top.

”What?”

”You heard me, get in the break room now and take Dejun with you and sort it out. It’s not good letting things fester and I’d hate to see your friendship dwindle down to nothing just because something is bothering you.” Kun leans forward with a pointed stare before moving his head slightly to the side nodding towards the break room.

”Oh umm that’s not necessary Kun I promise.”

Kun sighs and rolls his eyes before turning around and calling out loudly; ”Dejun! Hendery needs to talk to you in the break room! I’m giving the two of you ten minutes hurry up!”

”Kun!!” Hendery tries to stop him but he’s too slow in putting his hand around his mouth and Dejun has already turned around in surprise before nodding whilst looking confused before excusing himself from the guest he had been conversing with and goes to the break room without a single question.

”Now go in there and talk. Don’t come out in ten minutes unless you’ve actually spoken about whatever is going on. Don’t try and fool me I will find out if you did or not.” Kun says as he wrangles himself out of Henderys grip before shoving him lightly towards the break room as he mutters to himself about how ”We’re all adults and should speak with each other.”

The walk to the break room feels agonizing because what would he even tell Dejun? That he’s jealous over the fact that he’s now in a relationship with the person he has a crush on and want to go on a date with? Should he pretend everything is fine? No, he knows Dejun will sniff out his lies like a bloodhound sniffs out its prey. His shoulders are tense as he enters the room where his best friend of seven years is standing and when they make eye contact Dejun smiles at him, that annoyingly nice smile he gives when he tries to make the other person relax. 

”Hey, you wanted to talk about something? Is something up?” He asks, straight to the point instead of beating around the bush and that makes Hendery freeze like a deer in headlights, thoughts swirling around in his head, should he be petty and rude, congratulate him? Lie? 

”Uhhhh… yes?” A groan almost makes it past his throat when he hears how uncertain he sounds and he wishes a hole in the ground would open up beneath him and swallow him whole.

”So what’s up?” 

”You didn’t keep your promise.” He says almost a bit bitter and regrets it immediately.

”My promise? What promise? Dery I haven’t broken any promises as far as I’m concerned.” There is a defensiveness in his friends voice that coils itself around him in a strange way.

”Yes you did! Yesterday! I saw you, don’t get me wrong I’m happy for you but I’m also upset because shit I didn’t even get to shoot my shot and see if it could have worked out!” Hendery accuses him as he gets closer.

”Woah, what has gotten into you?!” Dejun exclaims as he narrows his eyes, taking a step back. ”I haven’t broken any promises nor will I ever do so unless it's absolutely necessary and I can promise I never broke a single promise yesterday so what are you on about. And stop beating around the bush tell me plain and simple instead of accusing me as if I were some lowlife thief!” Dejun shoots back at him with a slight glare.

”Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about! You and Y/n confessed your love for each other and became a couple yesterday outside the shop! I saw it all so don’t try and deny it! I can’t believe it you told me to go for it and I really was going to but then Y/n confessed to you and you accepted and I’m just so ma-” Hendery is interrupted in his rambling by Dejuns loud laugh and he scoffs; ”Oh yeah ha ha laugh at me rub it in my face!”

”Hendery you are a big idiot you know that right?” His best friend giggles wiping away a tear that had escaped as he had been laughing.

”Now who are you calling an idiot?!” 

”No shush! Let me finish! Me and Y/n did not become a couple yesterday nor did we confess our undying love to each other the way you seem to think we have. Y/n simply came to ask me some questions regarding you actually, believe it or not. They like I’ve told you before get anxious and sometimes over think and I guess they were worried again you didn’t like or want them around.”

”Wait really?” Hendery couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

”Yes really and I told Y/n it was the opposite, that you were shy sometimes and want her around and that you are interested in being friends with them. And you are correct, I do have feelings for Y/n but something tells me they don't have feelings for me and that’s okay, as long as they are happy I’m happy. What I want is for you to go and properly apologize to Y/n for everything, stop beating around the bush and do it, give them the muffin you’ve been working on and see if you can be friends, perhaps even more than that. But if you keep stepping back or hesitating your chance might slip through your fingers, life won’t always wait around for you to get your shit together sometimes you have to take a leap of fate even if it scares you Hendery.” Dejun tells him earnestly as he watches his friend process what he has said.

”Since when did you become Dejun the wise?” Hendery mumbles quietly, not at all having expecting this turn of events. 

”I have always been this wise you just chose not to listen when I shared my wisdom.” Dejun counters and that gets a giggle out of Hendery who shoots back: ”I find that hard to believe, and Dejun, I’m sorry for accusing you and being so hostile when you have not done a single thing to deserve it. Even if you two had become a couple it wasn’t fair of me to be so jealous and angry and upset, I should have just been happy for the two of you not start berating you for not giving me the chance.” He sighs looking down, shame washing over him. 

”I’m truly sorry for it.”

”It’s okay buddy.” He is engulfed in a hug and he can’t help but return it twice as hard, hugs were always a comfort and Dejuns were extra comfortable in a way only a best friends hug could be. 

”But do that again to me and I will get my shoe and hit you in the head with it.” He says teasingly, lightly smacking his head with a smirk.

”There will never be another time I swear! I do not want you hitting me with that shoe ever again!” Hendery backs away with his hands held up in a surrendering pose and snorts when his best friend laughs.

”So we good?”

”Better than good I’d say.”

”You do realize I will now send your ass over to the flower shop to apologize and befriend them right?” That made him stop in his tracks, eyes darting to where Dejun was standing. ”B-but I’m not ready! The muffin is n-”

”It’s perfect and I just gave you an entire speech about not waiting any longer so yes you will go out there and apologize and talk to Y/n or you will meet the wrath of me and my shoe.” 

Hendery is being lead out of the break room by Dejun, his arm is around his shoulders tightly to make sure he cannot escape as he leads them to the little place the muffin had been stored away, freshly baked from todays batch, taking it out and putting it in a box before handing it to him with a grin.

”Go now~” He pushes him towards the door and giggles when Hendery stumble over the bump in the mat on the floor.

”You two friendly again now?” Kun asks as he watches their shennanigans and Dejun nods.

”Yep, better than ever, he’s now going to apologize and befriend Y/n instead of moping around like he’s been doing for days!”

”Oh finally! I thought he’d never do it and it was slowly driving me nuts seeing him mope around and have the puppy eyes whenever he saw them outside the window.”

”Yeah tell me about it, now he’s only got one more obstacle to get over before he can do that.”

”And what would that be??”

”Y/n's best friends.”

”Oh…”

”Yeah he might be toast if he’s unlucky.”

The two of them follow Henderys movement outside of the shop as he crosses the street, the tiny bag with the muffin he baked clutched tightly in his hands as they see him hesitate for just a second before entering the flower shop.

Ten is at the register when Hendery enters quietly, the bell ringing lightly which causes Ten to look up from what he had been doing and the greeting which he was about to say got stuck on his tongue as he stared at the man you were crushing on. Hendery gave him an awkward smile to which the boy at the counter just narrowed his eyes and his eyes traveled up and down as if he was sizing him up and deciding what his next course of action might be.

”H-hello?” Hendery stammers out, eyes darting around trying to see if you are anywhere in the store but to his disappointment he cannot find you anywhere.

”What do you want.” Ten asks, straight to the point as he sits up straighter, eyes never leaving the nervous barista.

”Is Y/n around? I’d like to talk to them if that’s alright.” 

”And why should I let you talk to them? With the way you’ve been acting around Y/n I’m honestly just tempted to throw you out head first.” Ten says and during his comment he stands up and Hendery can honestly see in front of him an overprotective cat, he can practically see the hair and tail standing up as Ten raises an eyebrow at him waiting for his response and he stands straighter as if that will help him right now.

”I want to apologize for how I’ve been acting! I truly did not mean to be so rude our first meetings and I really thought on our second meeting that we were on our way to become friends but I think I did something again to cause confusion and perhaps even hurt which I’m deeply regretful for so I came to apologize and to give Y/n a treat. And to hopefully start over again and actually get to know them!” He holds up the box and even opens it so Ten can see what’s inside and the man at the counter peers inside before studying him again.

”Listen here Hendery and listen closely because I will only say this once. Y/n is my best friend and I love them more than people understand, they’re one of my favorite people on this earth and I hate when people hurt them and make them upset, they’ve been through shit and I am not afraid of hurting those who hurt those precious to me. I’ve done it before for Y/n and I am willing to do it again.” He takes a breath before continuing ”With that said, you get one chance, you hear me? One chance to make this right and become friends with them and perhaps even more if destiny decides that’s what will happen BUT if you even so dare to make them cry or hurt them I will find you faster than a bloodhound finds it’s prey in a hunt and you will regret everything you’ve ever done okay?” Ten glowers at him and Hendery gulps but nods plenty of times hoping to show that he’s got it he won’t mess up this time around.

”I won’t I promise! Hurting or making someone sad is the least I want to do! I swear it on my life!” He holds up his left hand as a sort of surrendering gesture and Ten stares at him a bit longer before finally blossoming into a bright smile, eyes crescent moons as he tells him: ”Then there should be no problem with you seeing them! Wait here and I’ll tell them you’re here and we’ll see if they wanna see you.” Hendery doesn’t get time to respond before Ten has turned around and walked into the back, through the little door leaving Hendery all alone in the front of the shop.

”Ohhhh Y/nnnnnn~” Ten singsongs as he saunters in where you were sitting, eating your lunch, looking up from the instant noodles cup in your hand with curious eyes.

”What got you so excited Tennie?”

”There is a special someone out there who wants to talk to you~” He practically purrs as he sits down in front of you with a smile that tells you trouble might be just around the corner for you.

”A special someone? And who would that be?” You inquire with a raised eyebrow.

”Well he’s pretty tall, handsome, got dark hair, a nice smile and he happens to be a barista whom you might have a crush on even if you try and deny it saying its not true anymore.” He says with a wink and you choke on your noodles as you put two and two together on who is waiting for you.

”H-hendery?!” You splutter out and he nods delighted ”What do you mean he’s waiting for me?! No no no that can’t be right stop playing with me Ten! He doesn’t like me this is a cruel prank!” 

”I will stop you right there because no this is not a prank I wouldn’t do that to you and yes he is in fact out there waiting to talk to you, I believe he wants to apologize to you for how he has been acting towards you before and I think you should hear him out, besides I’ve already threatened him about treating you right and not making you upset ever again soooo…” He trails of with a slight giggle as you hit his arm as you hear what he’s done.

”Ten! You cannot go around threatening people!!”

”Owwwieee! Sicheng!! Y/n is hitting me!!!”

”Do not drag me into whatever this is please!”

You glance towards the door where apparently your crush is standing behind and waiting for you. Did he really come over here to apologize to you? Had Dejun spoken to him after you went to talk to him about Hendery? So many questions were swirling around in your head and one part of you is excited, is cheering over the fact that he came and asked for you. 

Perhaps this was your chance? ”Do you really think he's being genuine Ten?” You ask quietly, not wanting to get your hopes up too quickly, eyes still locked onto the door that leads you back into the shop.

”I do believe he's being genuine Y/n, I’d never do something like this where I’d want you to go out and see someone if I didn’t think it was safe and they were genuine and if you decide you don’t want to see him I will go out there and tell him such.” Ten says as his hand gently encloses one of your owns and you glance at your best friend before glancing back at the door. 

The thought of going out there was terrifying to a degree but the thought of not going and forever wondering if you missed your chance sounds even more harrowing than being disappointed and perhaps heartbroken once more. Perhaps one more chance wouldn’t be so bad, wouldn’t hurt so much this time around. If Ten was this sure he was genuine then it must be true since he was rarely wrong about people, you had learnt that the hard way before, choosing to trust him and his gut feeling felt like a safe option this time around.

”I think I’ll go out and talk to him.” You tell Ten as you slowly stand up, instant noodles forgotten as you head for the door slowly.

”Take your time, we’ll stay here so it won’t be awkward for the two of you! Call if you need any of us!”

You give him a quick nod before taking a deep breath, trying to shake away the worries that are slowly but surely creeping up your spine as you step out of the door and into the shop once more. And there he is, staring at a cactus sitting at the front desk, black hair slightly tousled, his apron still on and what looks like coffee dust on his black work shirt. He’s handsome in your eyes as usual and your heart does a little jump at the sight of him, no matter what has happened before between the two of you he still causes butterflies to fly around inside you.

”Hendery?” You ask uncertainly as you get closer and his head snaps up and his eyes locks onto yours before a brilliant but perhaps slightly nervous smile blossoms onto his face.

”Y/n! Oh thank goodness you came out!” He straightens himself as you stop right infront of him, only the counter between the two of you.

”Ten said you wanted to talk to me?” You ask tilting your head ever the slightest to the right, glancing down quickly at the little to go bag he was holding in his hands.

”Ah! Yes! Umm sooo… okay how do I start this… I’ve realized I haven’t made the very best impression during our first meetings and I have been rude towards you without actually meaning to and never apologized for it which I am terribly sorry for. During our first meeting I was incredibly rude and grumpy and I unfairly treated you in my opinion badly when it wasn’t you I was grumpy with, it was a situation that had happened at work. I am sorry for that, I was actually looking forward to meeting you and getting to know you because of how much Dejun have been talking about you and instead I made myself look like a jerk so I am so so sorry about that. I’ve also realized that during our second meeting there must have been some sort of misunderstanding… I was so happy speaking to you, you’re so nice and I had hoped we could get closer that day but I think you thought I wanted you to leave when all that really happened was that I got annoyed we got guests because they were interrupting my time with you and I didn’t like that but when I went to talk to you again you had already left and I felt so stupid because well, I really want to be your friend and I realize I’m rambling now but that’s because I’m so nervous messing this up again and well to sum it all up I baked you your favorite muffin as an apology and I hope you will accept both the muffin and the apology but it's totally fine if you don’t I won’t get mad or anything I swear!” He says before bowing slightly holding out the little box towards you as a peace offering.

You stare at Hendery in shock at what he has just told you and you realize that you might have acted to hasty during your second meeting with Hendery and just jumped to the conclusion that it was you he was annoyed with and didn’t want around when according to him it was the opposite.

Hendery had wanted you around. He wanted to get to know you.

”I-i think I should apologize as well… It wasn’t fair of me to just jump to conclusions after our first and second meeting and I was upset but instead of I guess being brave and talking to you about it I avoided you because I got to anxious even when everyone around me kept telling me you weren’t mad at me or disliked me. I judged you before really getting to know you due to my own problems and anxieties and for that I’m sorry. And I accept your apology Hendery.” You tell him, a weight of your chest lifting slightly as you apologize to him as well.

”Oh you don’t really have to apologize it’s fine I prom-” He starts but you shake your head quickly.

”No none of that please! I think it was important for me to apologize as well. I did on purpose avoid you and I know you tried to talk to me a few times but Ten just turned you away and that wasn’t fair on my part… I just got too scared and didn’t dare to face you then.”

”Then I’ll accept your apology as well since you’ve apologized as well but please… take this muffin?” He asks as he holds up the box with hopeful eyes: ”I baked it myself?”

”Oh you really didn’t have to.” You tell him as you take the box, butterflies fluttering again as your hands touches slightly as he hands you the box.

”I wanted to, I wanted you to know I was being genuine and wasn’t just apologizing because someone told me to do so.” He tells you earnestly as you open the box.

Inside is your favorite muffin, it’s a bit wonky looking, one side being higher than the other and the frosting it unevenly spread on top. It’s not the most aesthetically pleasing looking muffin you’ve ever seen but you can’t help but melt at the fact that Hendery has worked so hard making for you.

”It might not look the best but I worked really hard to make it for you…” He confesses shyly and you could have sworn the tip of his ears starts turning a pretty red color.

”It looks perfect to me.” You tell him earnestly. ”We should eat it together!” You say before quickly getting two forks so the both of you can enjoy the muffin and Hendery just nods as he looks at you endearingly, so excited that the two of you finally get to talk and hang out like he wanted to from the start, with hopefully no more miscommunications between the both of you.

”Do you like to bake?” You ask him curiously as you take a little bite of the pastry on your fork before looking up at him.

”Huh?” 

”Do you like to bake?” You ask again before pointing towards the muffin and Henderys cheeks start blossoming again in a beautiful cherry shade.

”Oh well… no… not really. I’m notoriously bad at baking but I swear this one is edible! I enjoy cooking a bit more though.” He tells you as you take a bite and he chew on his lip looking worried that the food in question will taste bad.

”It’s lovely.” You tell him and he quickly tries a bite, clearly not believing you before scoffing.

”It’s too salty… I am so sorry I must have mixed up the salt and sugar.” He huffs unhappy and you snort at his disappointed face.

”It’s the thought that counts right? I could make you a cup of horrible coffee since I suck at making coffee and we’d be even?” You joke nudging his arms lightly.

”Perhaps that’s just what’s needed for us to be even then.” He says nodding seriously.

”So what do you like to do then Hendery? If baking is not your thing?” You ask, cheeks heating slightly and the giddy feeling fluttering back into your stomach as you look at your crush who is right in front of you.

”Oh! I love gaming! Mario kart is so much fun! My favorite thing is beating Dejun at a race, he’s such a bad loser and it’s hilarious.” He says before continuing: 

”Dejun’s always like Nooooo you cheated this isn’t fair! And then he’ll go and shut the lights off and tell you to leave his room just because he lost!” He tells you mimicking the way Dejun acts when he looses and you laugh out loud at his antics.

”Really? He's that bad of a loser? I didn’t think that was something he’d be, a sore loser.” You chuckle and Hendery laughs as well before nodding.

”Oh he's so bad, the worst person I know when it comes to loosing!” 

”Perhaps… perhaps you and I could play Mario kart together someday?” You ask. ”It sounds like a lot of fun and I enjoy playing those kind of games as well.”

”I’d love it if you wanted to play with me! What character do you play as?” He inquires, leaning over the counter and you lean back a lil bit face heating up even more at having him even closer to you.

”Well… I enjoy playing as King Boo or as Yoshi, Yoshi because he’s cute and I used to play a game about like Yoshi taking care of baby Mario and Luigi so I love the green little lizard dragon and King Boo, well he’s a ghost and got a crown.” You tell him and his eyes light up.

”Oh my gosh wait did you also play Yoshi’s Island as a kid?!” He asks excitedly and you look at him in shock, mouth dropping open.

”You’ve played it as well?! Oh my god I’ve never met someone else who’s played that game before!” You tell him excitedly, grabbing his hand without even thinking about it.

”Yes! Yes! Wait,” He says looking like he might possibly vibrate with excitement as a light bulb must have gone off in his head. ”Did you also perchance play the Super Princess Peach game??”

You didn’t know it was possible to grow even more excited than you already were, but here you were practically shaking Hendery as you replied loudly.

”YES! Yes yes yes!!! That was such a good game! I wish we could have gotten a Super Princess Daisy game or a sequel to the Peach game! It was so much fun and such a good concept like what do you mean her talking umbrella was a person or creature that got turned into an umbrella?!” You shout and Hendery throws his head back in laughter.

”Right! But also that umbrella was so op! It could turn into a submarine, fire off like energy blasts, fly, act as a boat and much more like hello? That is genuinely so cool! And being able to play as Peach having to do the rescuing instead of the other way around was also so cool!”

”Which boss battle did you struggle the most with? I remember the owl, octopus and the gigantic flower giving me trouble as a child. I’d always die when I was so close to winning and it was so frustrating having to do the mini games again before the boss battle!” 

”Ugh don’t remind me about that, I struggled so hard with the wiggler and the ice dragon thing. And finding all of the toads? I swear I still don’t get how to find all of them without looking up tutorials online for how to find them. It was like really hard and you needed to find all of them to face Bowser in the end.” He tells you and you nod.

”Yeah that could be such a drag sometimes, you’d hear that they were nearby but couldn’t figure out how to find them.” 

The two of you continue for a long while to bond over your shared childhood of playing different kinds of Mario games on the DS. Unbeknownst to you both Sicheng and Ten had been listening in to the conversation and both had given each other a look at how well it was going for you.

”I give it five weeks before they fall head over heels for each other.” Sicheng whispered quietly to Ten as they slowly walk away from the door so you won’t notice they had been spying.

”I’d say three weeks, she’ll confess first.” Ten says holding out his hand towards his friend who takes it, shaking it as if closing a deal.

The two of you kept chatting and getting to know each other better and if you had been able to decide the two of you would have chatted for even longer until Hendery had gotten a text that he was needed back at the shop, or more specifically he needed to run down to the convenience store further down the street to pick up some essentials. Before he had to leave Hendery quickly shoved his phone towards you asking if he could get your number before he left, his cheeks a lovely cherry red once more. Both of you had reluctantly said goodbye after that and Hendery had even given you a quick hug before he turned to walk out of the door only to trip clumsily over the door step as he waved bye to you. 

”Soooo that went well huh?” Ten purred as he slid up to you, almost like a cat and you couldn’t help but lightly shove his arm as he wiggled his eyebrows towards you with a gigantic grin.

”Oh shush! You probable eaves drop-” You stopped when a little ping noise was heard from your back pocket, you fish up your phone curiously and Ten get to watch in real time as your eyes light up at the text message.

Hendery: Would you want to hang out this Friday and perhaps play some Mario kart or something else at my place? 

Totally cool if you don’t want to! /Hendery

I’d love to! I’ll ask Sicheng if I can get the day off!

I can pick you up at around 12:00 at the shop if you’d like?

Sounds perfect! Then it’s a date❤️

Ten peers over the shoulder, sneaking glances at your messages before whistling:

”A date huh?”

”Is it too forward?”

”No I like it, keep being bold darling!” 

Further down the street Hendery is walking with his eyes glued to the phone, he cannot believe what he is reading, a date, did you really mean it as a date date or was he getting his hopes up? He was absolutely sure that his cheeks were blossoming into that fiery red shade again but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. You had agreed to hanging out with him on Friday and that was the best news he could have gotten this entire week. Not even winning on lotto would make him happier right now.

He was just about to type back a response when someone bumps into him.

”Oh sorry!” The stranger says apologetically.

”Ah dont worry about it! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He says waving a hand towards the stranger trying to show that no harm was done to him.

”It’s my fault as well, sorry again, I was just trying to find this little flower shop, it should be around here but I can’t find it.” The stranger says and Hendery glances up at the man before telling him: ”Its further down this street, just continue forward and you won’t miss it! Its a great place, cozy, nice staff and lovely plants.” 

”Thank you, I’m sure to find it then if it's just down this street. Bye!” The man quickly walks away and Hendery can’t help but think he walks a bit weird, as if he is in a hurry to get somewhere but perhaps he just really needs some flowers for a date he's going to?

”Yeah that must be it.” He shrugs before continuing down the path to the continence store as he types his last reply to you:

“Be careful, you might just burn a hole in her the longer you stare,” Jungwoo teased as he came around with a champagne glass in his hands, making Jaehyun snap out. 

He smiled at the light-haired fellow and shook his head, “I was just looking.” 

“Chill out, bro,” Jungwoo chuckled, handing him the champagne glass which Jaehyun gladly took from him, “She’s yours. There’s nothing wrong with staring at her like you want her as your dinner.” 

Dinner? He wanted you as his three-course meal. The forming bulge in his pants began to make him want to uncomfortably tug at it, Jaehyun started to turn to Jungwoo and moved his body from side to side to push out the indecent thoughts he had of you. 

Jungwoo watched him moving, scanning him from top to bottom and spotted the root of the problem and laughed, “You haven’t dick her yet?” 

“Don’t talk like that about her,” Jaehyun growled quietly at him. 

Putting his hands up in a defensive manner, Jungwoo teased, “Feisty.”

Dicking her sounded completely vulgar for someone as angelic as you. It was called “Love Making” when it came to you and Jaehyun felt his face heat up at the thought of it. He set eyes on you once and he knew that you were the one. He was intoxicated by everything about you: your voice, your scent, your touch. 

“It’s not that, I just can’t get to her, “Jaehyun started to explain, “I can have her any time that I want but I know that one thing I can never earn, her love.” 

“What do you mean?” Jungwoo frowned, “You’re Jeong Jaehyun. Who wouldn’t fall for you?” 

His eyes trailed back to you and licked his lower lip, “She doesn’t. I could give her the best orgasm of her life but when the sun rises, she’s just a completely different person,” he could feel the familiar tight feeling in his chest when he thought about how you would stray away from his touch.

Your feet were sore from wearing the heels throughout the whole party. You smiled so much that you could feel the muscles in your cheek quivering but you know as a granddaughter-in-law you had to put on your best performance. Jaehyun seemed to socialise less than you even though it was his own family’s birthday celebration. The few times when you looked in his direction and caught him staring at you almost made you wonder if he even came to the party to just watch you do the work for him as you went around to greet everyone. 

Everyone was happy to see you as soon as you approached them, at least the elderly ones. The younger ones were throwing dagger stares at your back, you could feel it as you walked past them. It was no secret that you married the charming Jeong Jaehyun of the SM family, Jaehyun was best known as one of theheartthrobs amongst the others. If ‘handsome’ was a person, it definitely would be Jaehyun, you wouldn’t deny it yourself. The girls would even kill to be in your place to be selected as his bride but words circulated that it was Jaehyun himself that had asked for your hand in marriage when the Selection started. You were specially selected by the heir himself. 

Your thoughts were interrupted abruptly when Jaehyun stood behind you, he looked at you through the dressing table mirror, “Tired?” 

You curtly nodded at him, “Yeah, a little. You?” 

When Jaehyun wrapped his hands around your waist and pressed his lips against your exposed nape, you had expected it. A strong urge to pull away from him was there but you held your place and watched the top of his head as his kisses trailed up to behind your ears. You sucked in a quick breath and you felt Jaehyun freeze. He looked up slowly but before he could meet your eyes, he stepped away from you. 

“I’ll wash up first,” he mumbled as he turned away and made his way into the bathroom. 

You waited till you heard the shower run before you finally could feel yourself breathing again. The corners of your eyes began to swell up tears as you gripped the sides of your dressing table. As days goes by, it was beginning to eat you up inside, the unsettling feeling resting in the pit of your stomach makes you anxious. You hated the feeling. 

It was a marriage that you did not want. Even if it was to the famous Jeong Jaehyun, you hated the title as his wife. You couldn’t breathe knowing the expectations as his partner, feeling the eyes gawking at you when you walk in with him. What made it even more unbearable were the burning stares you received from those who had affections for your husband, it felt like they were waiting for you to make the wrong step. You couldn’t risk it, not with your family’s status on the line, you had to make this work and keep your father’s business from going into bankruptcy. Only the SM family was able to save your family from going down. 

Pull yourself together, you whispered to yourself through the mirror reflection. 

It didn’t take long before Jaehyun was done with his shower and you quickly slipped in the bathroom, appreciating the personal space you finally got to yourself. You quickly got out of the dress and began to run the shower. The heater was still on, of course it was, Jaehyun would prepare everything before you shower: the heater, the towel etc. As usual, you would take a little longer in the bathroom until you were quite sure that Jaehyun had gone to sleep before you finally decided to come out. And as you have guessed, as soon as you opened the door, the room was dark and only accompanied by the dimly lit candle that Jaehyun always puts on before he goes to sleep. It was his favourite rose vanilla scent, something you’ve gotten used to ever since being married to him. 

You quietly walked over to the King-sized bed, roughly making out the shape of Jaehyun on the bed. Taking your side of the bed, you get under the comforter and enjoy the feeling of the soft mattress under you after a long day. Letting your head hit the pillow, you let out a soft squealed-moan as you stretched your feet. 

Jaehyun began to shift his body, he started to turn towards and as you knew, he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in the crook of your neck. Almost regretting yourself for wearing the night dress but maybe a part of you had wanted to feel wanted. 

You remained still, probably waiting for something to happen and when you felt like maybe he was deep in his sleep, you began to relax until Jaehyun whispered against your skin, “Did you have a good time today?” 

“Hmmm?” You looked at him even though you couldn’t tell where his eyes were or if he was even looking at you. 

“I saw you talking to Halmeoni. Both of you were laughing at something, I wonder what it was about,” he still didn’t budge from his position. 

You nodded, “She reminds me of my own grandmother. So genuine and kind. I prefer being around her more than anyone.” 

Jaehyun leaned away from you, his face inches away from yours, “I wish you smiled at me the way you smiled at her.” 

Your eyes searched his face, even in the dimly lighted room. There was nothing for you to say, what could you possibly answer that won’t hurt his feelings? So you did what you do best, you remained quiet. Just silently stared at him in the dark until he pulled you in for a kiss. You sighed into the kiss, knowing very well where this was leading to. 

Even though he doesn’t say it, you knew how Jaehyun had watched you the first time you met, when you exchanged wedding vows, the night of the wedding and every other day where you would be together, as a married couple. The man was madly in love with you by the way he talked to you, the way he touched you and the way he spoke of you. Many times you often overhear his friends talking about Jaehyun going bonkers-mad when he hears them using indecent terms when talking about you to him. The many times he would pull you close to him at bigger family gatherings. 

He deepened the kiss himself by sucking on your lower lip as he shifted to be on top of you, “You always smell delicious when you go to bed, I can’t even sleep.” 

You knew, feeling the hardness poking from his pajamas pants. Impatient was Jaehyun, as he grinds himself against your thigh. Little does he know, you craved him the way he was craving you at the moment. 

You snaked your hands around his back and grabbed onto his shoulders from under his arms, pulling yourself up to him. Jaehyun grabbed around blindly at the side until you heard a ‘click’ and the lamp on the night stand turned on. You tore away from him in surprise because Jaehyun never turned on the lights. All the time when you had sex with him, it would be at night and in the dark room where you could only follow your instincts, voices and silhouettes. 

“I want to look at you,” Jaehyun said quietly. His face was soft as he gazed into your eyes. He was undeniably beautiful, his skin was soft and fair, his was tousled softly on his forehead. As you were admiring him, he does the same to you. He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, “You’re so beautiful,” he took the words right out of your mouth. 

His eyes scanned down to your breast, where the night dress was covering very minimal, before he came back up to look at you. He dipped into your lips and kissed you hard before pulling away, the affection was quickly mixed with a look of lust as he hooked his fingers on both sides of your night dress strap and pulled it down. Your nipples hardened at the sudden exposure to air as he continued to strip you naked and toss the dress to the side. You were too stunned to do anything and watched him pull his shirt over his head. 

He straddled both of his legs on either side of you, only the pyjama pants were separating your skin from touching. Jaehyun allowed his eyes to roam all over you from your face to the rounds of your breasts, the curves of your waist and finally down. He couldn’t even begin where to start appreciating you, the strain in his pants was not allowing him to think straight. He wanted to plunge deep into you but he had to practice self-control. 

You were like a goddess to him and he worships every part of you. The silence was starting to make you feel insecure as you moved your arms to cover your breasts from him, earning a frown from him. 

“Don’t,” he started. Trying to pry your hands away from your upper body.

“Can we turn off the lights?” Your voice was quiet. 

When he successfully pulled your hands off, he replaced them with his hands. Covering your breasts with his hands, “I want to do it with you with the lights on. I want to look at you.” 

He pinched lightly on your nipples and a soft moan escaped you, making your hands reach up to cover his hands with yours. A smirk broke out on his face, dimples pressing into either side of his cheek. He ran his thumb over your hard nub and it made you become a moaning mess. 

“If I do this…” he lowered his face to your breast and flicked a tongue over your nipple a few times before covering his mouth over it. Your back arched towards him. 

Your hand cupped his face as he suckled on your nipple while his other hand stroked in circular motion. The familiar sensation pooled in between your legs as you fought from closing your legs together to apply the sweet pressure on your clit. Almost feeling the needy throb of your pussy when Jaehyun lets out a soft moan. You opened your eyes to look at him, his eyes were open and watching you while being latched onto your breast. It was such a sight which you eventually threw your head back on the pillow and let yourself absorb in the euphoric feeling. 

“Am I making you feel good?” He pulled away and looked at you. You licked your dry lips and looked at him, nodding. He lightly pinched your hard nipples, “Use your words, beautiful.” 

You moaned, “Yes.” 

“Do you want me to make you feel good again?” Pressing his crotch against you. He moved his hip, making the texture of his clothed dick create friction against you. 

“Please,” you begged, unconsciously reaching out and touching his abs. 

Jaehyun caught your hand in his and muttered, “Fuck this,” before he stripped himself of his pants. 

His cock sprung out, thick and long. You watched him cover his length with his hand and stroked it as he brought his fingers to stroke your clit. 

Your fingers curled into a fist as you grabbed the comforter, Jaehyun was rubbing your clit and then running his finger over the entrance of your pussy before going back to rubbing your clit. Jaehyun wanted to prep you first before going in, he knew how dry you were. He had to play with you for a little while, sometimes earning a little whine from you before he would take you on. All this while, he could only hear the pretty sounds you make but this time he wanted to look at you, watch you. 

When the pretty noises you were making were starting to turn into a sigh, he looked up at you, “I know, baby. Just a while more alright?” He whispered gently, leaning in to kiss you. 

You were used to all these but with the lights on, it felt different. You never imagined how he would look at you when you were at it. You simply could feel him holding your hand, smell him and hear his voice. Never see the look on his face when he was working you on, never see the red flush of his cheeks or the sweaty side of his face. The way his hands wrapped pretty around his length, his thumb teasing his tip and the pre-cum covering the tip. Sure, you’ve seen his abs, you may have seen a few of his buttocks (when you walked in on him changing or showering). There was so much more to look at now that he was kneeling over you, teeth pressing into his red lower lip as he rubbed you good. 

Jaehyun knew you were about to climax when he watched how you started to play with your nipples and you started to breathe heavily. He pulled his hand out and positioned the tip of his cock at your entrance. You were about to protest at the sudden loss when he slowly moved in. Feeling your walls clenched around him, he couldn’t help but to bury his face in your neck. The tightness wrapped around his cock was sending him out of the universe, you felt like home to him. 

I was born to be here, he felt the coy thoughts repeating in his head as he lazily thrust his hips. 

You, on the other hand, were feeling everything. You felt full and stretched, sensitive and good but overall, you wanted him to do you roughly. You wanted more, drunk on this ecstasy. Letting your hands roam on his body, you needed to hold onto something tight. 

The sound of your skin slapping filled the room, along with your moans and grunts. You ran your fingers through his hair while he dug his nails into your sides as Jaehyun started to pick up his pace. He moved quickly, pulling out and slamming harder into you each time. You found yourself holding his knuckles and squeezing them at each thrust. A few more slams and you found yourself letting out a small yell when orgasm overcame you. You threw your head back and arched your back as your high reached you and then felt yourself slumped back limp. 

Jaehyun watched you without stopping, stroking the back of your hand. He could feel himself reaching his high too but he wanted to feel you deeper. So without a rest, Jaehyun turned you over as you weakly went on your fours. 

“No…” you practically begged, “I just…” 

You didn’t know how to tell him that you just had the most satisfying orgasm and you weren’t ready for another. You were still so sensitive that you could easily ride up another orgasm and for a fact you knew the second could send you out of the world, definitely, with Jaehyun’s skills. 

“You’re mine, babe,” Jaehyun kissed your shoulder and slammed hard into you. He did it again, pulling out and slamming into you, “You’re mine…” 

“Hmmm…” the thrust sent a jolt to your body as you felt the soft pillow rubbing against your hard nipples. Jaehyun brought his hand to the front and began to rub your clit as he fucked you hard. 

“Jaehyun,” you whimpered. The pressure was beginning to gather in the pit of your stomach. 

“Fuck, you’re mine,” hearing you call him like that, he knew he was close. Jaehyun listened to your moans as he rubbed you. The second he felt you climax, he too spilt his load into you. Sending waves of jerks into his hip as he let himself ride away his orgasm. Finally, when he was able to catch his breath, he whispered, “You’re mine.” 

But you were already falling into slumber, your hands reaching around blindly until you found him and pulled him around your waist. Both of you were sweaty but neither of you minded. Jaehyun positioned you in a way where your head was resting on his arms, facing you. Your breathing was quiet as you drift off to sleep. He listened to you, rubbing his lips against your shoulder and remained in that position for a while. 

You mumbled incoherently in your sleep after a few minutes and turned, facing him. Your face was buried in his chest as your arms wrapped around his waist. 

Jaehyun smiled down at you, stroking your hair gently as he watched you. He liked how he exhausted you, and made you feel a certain way. But then it hit him, a sudden realization that this bliss was just in the moment. He could only hold you like this now for when the morning comes, it’ll be as though this didn’t happen between the two of you. You would go back to the usual cold and awkward wife, and he would have to wait for nighttime to come again before he could hold and love you like this again. 

“You will never love me like I love you,” Jaehyun planted a kiss on the top of your head as tears escaped down his cheek. 

For the aching heart, he had to live with, there was only so much he could do to get moments like these. But little did he know, you could hear him. 

continue to [Part 2] [Last]

you take his cold hands in yours, "that's the journey, love. you don't have to know, until you can't know because you've finally let me go."

he shakes his head, "no, no."

silence engulfs his throat, and his mind frantically tries to form an excuse, "maybe you're within me, tied to every inch of my soul for eternity. i try to forget about you and move on but... but i just can't."

your ghosting touch cups his cheek, it feels so real, so alive. he thinks he can feel the warmth of skin, the gentle throbbing as blood surges through arteries and veins.

"it's going to be okay, jeno. i will be with you everyday, every second until the red string that ties your heart to mine dwindles and you don't feel me anymore."

his attention is elsewhere again, eyes a milky silver as they reflect the moonlight. he gazes above and below, switching constantly: confliction, or maybe confusion. yet you feel the pain and the anger, the aroma is pungent and saturated. it was almost intoxicating.

"you're with me forever, y/n."

he turns to look at you once again, but the grass beside him is bare and empty.

it hurts so fucking much.

a straying hand rakes the dirt, gathering soil beneath his nails before his rests his back upon the earth: the blood of unrest cries and he hears.