I cannot stop thinking about My Beloved Boys. The setting of the story is so sweet and innocent then wham! smut. Love it.
By the way, do you work for Infold? Because I remember you writing that Caleb goes away to camp in your fic and then after Caleb's release, there's literally a memory where he and MC are talking on the phone and he asks her if he remembers the time he went to summerspace camp back in high school.
Like seriously, tell me! Your secret is safe with me! *wink wink*
Hello there anon!
You have no idea how giggly and blushy I get whenever someone says they enjoyed My Beloved Boys. I put so much heart and soul into that story and at times I felt like I wanted to punch it into a wall because I wasn't sure if I was getting the balance between reader and the boys correctly. Btw, there is a part 2 in the works for it so keep an eye out for it!
And noooo I promise I don't work for Infold lol, but really? There's a memory where Caleb mentions going to camp? I haven't gone through all of Caleb's memories yet, do you mind telling me which one it is? The camp thing for me was a plot device so that reader can feel what it means to be alone, ie, without either Zayne or Caleb, and it's normal for lots of high school kids to go to camp during the summer so I 100% made that up. But good for me haha, seems like my prediction rate for Caleb is holding up.
In case ya'll haven't read it yet, you can read My Beloved Boys here!
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And my apologies Abt the zade thing, I made that reference because that's how I've seen many other writers (whom I won't name) portray him.
And I get that like you've said- he's got potential traits to be a yandere, but to write him wholly f*cking mc with a gun, with the explicit caption 'toxic Caleb' with dub-con?
Like I get it's fiction and ppl can write to their heart desires but when ppl r saying it's canon and it so quickly became the stereotype for that one character to the point that's the only thing you see online Abt him, it's tiring- especially when it doesn't fit him.
Like I kid you not, I actually didn't like Caleb for a while because of how everyone was initially characterizing him and the headcannons on how 'he's so dark romance coded' or 'hes giving zade vibes' and these were real comments, comments that made me avoid him until I was curious and decided to find out myself. Only to find out he's totally different??? Like I really wonder if we're actually experiencing the same thing bc I really don't see the 'extreme!! possessive! obsessive!' lover evb was speaking of 🤔
(URL change, no need to be scared. This blog used to be called nanamiscocksleeve. )
No need to apologize about the Zade thing, I know you were just saying what you saw from other blogs.
I've somehow missed a lot of the crazy toxic Caleb posts but omg, people are actually writing him f**king MC with a gun? I get it, it's fiction but geez that's dark and not on character for him. Infold has done a good job with keeping their LI's quite gentle when it comes to MC and I don't think Caleb is any different. He has no interest to hurt her or fuck her up emotionally, and it's evidenced so much in his memories so I just don't get it. People will see what they want to see I guess.
All the LI's have their own weird toxic traits around MC but I want to reiterate that they've only known her for a year and they have their other friends and colleagues whereas Caleb and she found each other as orphans in a shelter. Growing up they didn't have anyone except each other. I think this automatically puts Caleb in the right to feel like he's more entitled to her time and energy.
Even Zayne, who was a childhood friend isn't the same as Caleb. He might have been the boy next door but Zayne had a stable home and loving parents who were present for him as he grew up. That's very different compared to Caleb whose only perspective of stability comes from the relationship he has with MC.
I feel that way too, I feel like I saw something very different to what others are writing here. I see Caleb as someone who lost everything, found a family, even found love, then it was ripped away from him again. Now he and MC, essentially his anchor, don't know how to redefine their relationship. The MC he knew was probably clingy, and always wanted to be with him for everything. Now she's distanced herself and for two people who have never had that relationship of keeping secrets or maintaining distance, the amount of work it takes to adjust to that new dynamic can be crushing.
Caleb is possessive and obsessive but not to the point that it's dangerous. A little toxic perhaps since we know that he has mental health issues and refuses to get help but his end goal isn't to make MC fear or submit to him. He always looks so guilty whenever she looks scared and he's always asking her if he scared her. He even lets her remove parts of his uniform before they remove her chip if that's what it took to calm her down. He's aware how much he affects her and how much she wants their old relationship back and I think it really kills him inside to see her like this.
Why does everyone portray Caleb to be 'dark romance, zade meadows' coded? :/
Yeah he's got yandere traits to wanna keep her forever and for himself but he never implies that he'll hurt mc- instead expressing a fierce desire to protect her, so why do ppl write ffs Abt him being manipulative? Making him have 'rough jealous s*x' in which he's spewing a bunch of hurtful things just to manipulate mc to his liking?
I guess it's because of the initial show of possessiveness in his trailer, but literally every love and deepspace guy is possessive so why portray him so darkly?
I like that you portray him more realistically to his character and not so ooc because that's what it feels like most of the time
Hello there anon! I'm glad you think my portrayal of Caleb feels more realistic than some other interpretations. I really don't know where this concept of comparing Caleb to Zade comes from since Zade literally r**es the MC in that book and I simply can't picture Caleb doing that?
This might be a much longer response than you'd expected and I'm sorry, but I've been taking little notes as I went through Caleb's memories, anecdotes, and myth. I feel like most of the people that are portraying him in this sadistic way simply didn't read all the material and just clicked through to get the diamonds.
So let me start by saying, all the other 4 LI's met MC quite recently, meaning they had no say in her life and weren't there when the Chronorift Catastrophe occurred. They met her as an adult, when she'd had time to put herself together and act like a rational grown woman.
Caleb met her at the worst time in their lives as a child until Josephine adopted them. They trauma bonded and after all they've been through together, they're extremely possessive of each other. Not just Caleb, but even the MC as well. She's just as paranoid and possessive about Caleb as well, and this is evidenced in their memories which I will delve into shortly.
But imagine being so close and growing up with this person that you think you know like the back of your own hand. She and Caleb appeared to be quite close up until the explosion. Now MC had to deal with the loss of her second family, and possibly the love of her life. Yes, I said it. The love of her life, because after going through the memories, there's nothing that can be said to change my mind that these two weren't in some kind of relationship before Caleb's death.
Now Caleb is back. MC is wary of him, she's scared to be possessive of him like she was because she knows what it's like to lose him. Caleb has no idea where he stands in her life, and inside it's because he knows he fucked up. He realizes he wants her back, the same woman who was just as obsessed and possessive of him like how he was with her and he has no idea how to fix it.
Caleb imo slides into the tip of the yandere iceberg because of that scene in the main story where he says he'll rebuild their house in Linkon and they can move in together etc. To me, that's the effect of the chip (more to be discussed about that below), and also him literally breaking down because MC said his worst fear to his face; she doesn't need him anymore. How do you recover from having the one person you've loved for most of your life look at you with so much hate and say they don't need you? (reminded me of Sylus a little bit when he's told MC is disgusted by him) For him to be truly yandere, he would have locked her up then and there but he doesn't. He backs off, allows her to get back to her life unharmed, and he keeps himself busy with work. That doesn't look like true yandere behavior to me.
NOW. MYTH EVIDENCE. The part with the chips. The chips seem to exacerbate certain feelings that already exist and take them to the extreme, hence why people who are chipped are very emotionless and almost have a robotic character to them, perhaps to avoid the pain of being emotional. In his myth, we find Caleb actively fights the chip, and it puts so much strain on his body that he falls unconscious or goes into fits. I think that 'yandere' scene is because the chip and his body are at odds with each other. Even MC when she chips herself, finds herself being manipulative of Caleb, trying to make him think of memories that were only half-truths. They're both obsessed with each other, and without the chip, it was fine, but with chip, things get crazy.
Also, I think it's safe to say, Caleb hasn't shown yandere tendencies towards MC in the past pre explosion, beyond telling her to be careful during missions or to let her know when she got hurt. He wasn't upset because she wasn't staying at home, he's upset because she's hiding things from him (like when she lied about getting scratched by a cat pre explosion).
NOW ONTO THE MEMORIES. Because omg, there's so much evidence in the memories that Caleb realizes his limitations in his ability to care for her. In their bond memory Rain's Embrace, when MC is asleep on his shoulder, Caleb literally says something along the lines of "I promise not to be so overprotective of you." He says something similar in Endless Summer and Exclusive Aftertaste, stating he knows his tendency to protect her isn't good for either of them.
And to show how possessive MC was of him. In the memory Longtime Yesterday, we find out Caleb was super popular in college and many girls tried to befriend him by giving him bento boxes. His friends teased him saying "Miss Apple" helped him avoid having to accept the bento boxes. MC literally sulks all the way back to the airport and when Caleb asks her what's wrong she goes, "You have a Miss Apple," like that was a perfectly plausible explanation. Miss Apple turns out to be a hairtie that Caleb took from MC that has apple shaped beads on it and he wears it (presumably on his wrist) all the time, which drove away unwanted attention from other girls. MC was so upset prior to hearing this, and Caleb reassures her that he doesn't want anyone else's attention but her's.
In Borrowed Promise, which occurs when MC is still in high school, Caleb is visiting from college and MC has a fight with a friend who is a girl (important). Caleb notices she's unhappy and takes her to a fair of sorts to cheer her up and she tells him she's worried someone may not like her anymore. Caleb tries to act nonchalant but you can tell he's thinking MC has a boyfriend or a crush and he goes "their loss but oh well you're not for everyone." It's at this point she tells Caleb it's a girl and he's dumbfounded but his relief is evident.
And my favorite, Stage Observer. MC is helping Caleb empty his dorm since he's about to graduate from college and she finds an envelope tucked away in one of his books with cutesy apples on the surface. She mistakenly thinks this is a love letter and then gives a very confused Caleb the cold shoulder for the rest of her visit. Then on his graduation day, she softens and helps fix his tie as he's about to give his valedictorian speech. During this time, she admits she's scared about him finding someone else and he says he worries about her meeting someone else too, but he's happy having just her and grandma in his life. In his speech, Caleb talks about how people go through their whole looking for meaningful connections with people but he's fortunate to have found the one person he knows he can count on. Afterwards, MC runs to him and gives him what I think is their first kiss. And why does she do this? She says, "I kissed you so you can't have a girlfriend now!" Caleb is confused and then she finally admits seeing the envelope. Well guess what? It turns out the envelope actually holds a good luck charm she had sent Caleb but the cover got ruined so Caleb replaced it with the apple envelope. He teases her but the ending implies they now know how they feel for each other and that was the start of a more romantic relationship between them.
So there. MC is just as possessive and obsessed with Caleb as he is with her. He knows that and it's because he's so in tune with these feelings that to him, his actions don't seem out of line, because that's how he expects her to be with him as well. I think like the other boys, his love is limitless, he literally says, "I love you more than you realize" in his myth. He's struggling with mental health and trauma and I think people just want to downplay him for various reasons without delving into the complexity of his character, or the incredible history he has with MC, not from a past life, but in this very real, present one. He was there with her during a time when she didn't know a Xavier, a Rafayel, or a Sylus (maybe Zayne since Caleb mentions him).
There. It feels good to get this out. I will end this by saying, sure, Caleb qualifies as a dark romance, maybe a mild yandere, but definitely, nothing along the lines of Zade because I genuinely don't think he'd want to hurt MC by doing something that could hurt her or violate her consent.
I'm open to more discussion on this. And a reminder about my usual policy; if you have nothing nice to say, scroll on by.
But now after Caleb, this whole order had been thrown into chaos. Caleb is relatively new so I don't want to give up anyone's spot, but I think as of now, it's:
Zayne
Caleb
Sylus
Xavier
Rafayel
No guarantees this won't change back to the first one after more content is released for Caleb. I hope I'm not the only one feeling guilty for changing loyalty. I think all the boys are like:
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Can you do a Caleb vision/aesthetic board? Just like how you did for the rest of the LADS boys? Please and thanks 🩷
Hello! I hope this matches Caleb's aesthetic well enough. As excited as I am for him, it was a little harder finding pics for him since he isn't live yet. But this is how I envision him.
hii! i've created this tumblr just recently and immediately went to look for lads content, however, what i found upon a simple search wasn't that much to my liking. then your blog came up on my fyp and i was SO happy to finally see some proper filthy smut 🫶🏼 i'm new to this fandom and its writers, so i'd like to ask if you have any recommendations regarding blogs, writers or even certain fanfics? i understand that you're busy with writing and whatnot so take your time. i just feel a little lost now that i'm in a new fandom and after seeing your posts, i found you a reliable source for such info hehe. thank you so much in advance and have a lovely day! 🐈⬛
Believe me when I say my heart just swelled up with joy reading this. This was such a sweet thing to say and I'm honestly just grinning from ear to ear now.
For LaDS writers, there's definitely some blogs that deserve a shout out and I'll list them here. This isn't an ultimate list and I'm sure there's more but these are people whose work I've read and I want to read more :
@reilemon
@hesperisms
@aeyumicore
@chuluoyi
@connorsui
And those are the ones that I remember from the top of my head. There are more authors who participated in past writing events I held and they did some excellent work. You can find those writers on these pages and believe me they put in their hardest efforts and wrote some amazing stuff.
Hope this helps and I'm glad you stumbled onto my blog. Hope to see you more around here! 💜💜💜
At the moment, I'm not accepting new requests for one-shots, HC's or drabbles. Inbox is open for thirsts (any nasty, indecent things) and for general chatting (life updates, need advice, want to vent, etc).
That doesn't mean my inbox is closed forever, but it means that I won't be adding new wips to the queue. I'm currently backed up with requests from last September, and won't be working on anything that was submitted after December.
You're free to send in your ask, but just be aware that I might not get around to writing it till late spring (based on the current queue).
I always post inbox status in my pinned, so I always tell everyone to look there as the main resource!
