#natling

Sterling spins around to face Nathan again. “Vera asked.” This is too much. Sterling can’t handle the way he feels here in front of Nathan. His chest is tight, skin bright like a full moon. It’s like every inch of him yearns to close the gap between the two of them.

But Nathan had kissed him and he hadn’t said a word to Sterling since.

“I had to learn you were back from Alyn,” Nathan cuts out. He’s angry, too. Sterling isn’t sure what he’s so angry about. He wishes he didn’t care. “Alyn, of all people. What the fuck, Sterling.”

Sterling wants to turn away from this. He’d been looking forward to down time before his total hell of a schedule started up again on Monday. Talking to Nathan now, after everything, hurts too much. He props his hands on his waist and gives Nathan his most potent glare. “You kissed me,” he says harshly.

“And you left,” Nathan snaps back. “You left without saying a word.”

“What was I supposed to say? I don’t - I’m no good at this, Nathan.” Sterling draws himself up bigger, gathers himself together the way his father does when something isn’t going the way he wants. “You should have called.”

Nathan scowls, but there is something about him that seems a bit softer than before. “You could have called me, too.”

“I don’t have your number,” Sterling huffs, feeling a flush of embarrassment burn in his cheeks.

“I gave it to you,” Nathan replies, now sounding confused.

Sterling turns away and punches in a key code to unlock the door beside the gated driveway. He can feel the way Nathan’s eyes burn holes into his back and Sterling can’t help but wish that he’d never met him. That way, he wouldn’t be so pissed, but more than that, he wouldn’t be so devastated about the whole goddamn thing.

And it’s not even really that he’s mad at Nathan, though he is, a little.

It’s his parents who are the target of most of his anger.

“I don’t have your number,” Sterling says more forcefully this time, jerking the door open. He opens his shoulders to look back at Nathan who crosses his arms over his chest. The cap on his head is a little crooked, his orange curls sticking out from underneath it in unruly angles. He’s wearing his glasses today. Sterling thinks Nathan looks really, really good with his glasses on.

After Sterling’s reiteration, Nathan loses all of the fight in him. His eyebrows crinkle in concern. “Did your parents go through your shit again?”

Sterling runs his hand through his hair and looks away, ashamed. “This is the first time they’ve wiped my phone of all unapproved contacts.” He shakes his head. “I thought you’d call.”

Nathan laughs almost bitterly and leans back against the hood of his car. “Are you fucking with me? Your parents are assholes, dude.”

In a quick movement, Sterling shushes him, his hand waving like he can push the comment away. “They’re efficient and obsessed with image. Everything means something to them. They cut out the unnecessary stuff.”

Nathan raises both of his eyebrows and shoves his hands into his pockets. “So I’m unnecessary?”

Sterling gestures to the other boy’s outfit - skinny jeans with holes in the knees, beat up sneakers, and a faded T-shirt that says “What’s New Pussycat?” in bold pink letters. “You’re not in their social circle.”

“You mean I’m not rich.”

“Yeah. That too.”

Nathan’s eyebrows furrow. “Does it matter to you?”

Sterling’s reaction is vehement. He’s not sure such a stronger objection has ever lived before inside of him. “No.”

The force of that simple word takes Nathan off guard; the shorter boy’s eyes widen slightly before a blush warms his face and he casts his gaze away. It embarrasses Sterling, too.

“So...what, then?” Nathan asks after a long moment. It’s a good question. What happens now? Sterling knows what he wants, but is it okay, to want that? It won’t be easy - his parents are pretty set on him marrying Vera. At least, his mother is. His father couldn’t care less, as long as it leaves Sterling in a position that will aide the family name and help keep his father’s power as an influential business man.

“Maybe you could actually call me sometime,” Sterling finally says. “And maybe this time, I’ll write it down somewhere so I can’t lose it again.”

“You want me to?” Nathan asks, just for reassurance. Even though he leans casually against his car, the lines of him are tense and hard. His expression is charged, and Sterling’s heart thrills at it, even as the rest of his body urges him to run.

Sterling blushes again. “If you want to.”

Nathan shakes his head and looks him square in the eye. He’s so bold and strong-willed for a boy who is so short. Sturdy where he should be weak. “I want you to want me to.”

Sterling’s voice gets stuck for a long moment before he takes a step, halfway through the entrance of the gate. “Yeah.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Call me.” He turns away, feeling strange - lightheaded and unable to breathe, almost. He goes to kick the gate shut behind him, but suddenly there is a hot hand on his wrist and he is pulled backwards gently. Sterling looks back to see Nathan there.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Nathan asks, totally unconcerned with the fact that there are probably twenty security cameras pointed directly at them.

Sterling feels himself turn unresponsive, struck to the core by the look on Nathan’s face. Instantly, there his electricity in his veins. Nathan’s expression is determined but achingly wistful. There is a yearning there, so keen and so desperate to be acknowledged.

“You liked it, right?” Nathan asks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sterling replies, even though he does.

“Yes, you do.” Nathan’s eyebrows furrow and he tightens his grip on Sterling’s wrist. It might have been painful if Sterling had wanted to be anywhere else in the world, but he doesn’t. “Did you like it?”

“Nathan.” Sterling struggles to stay poised, but his voice cracks on the second syllable.

“You need to be kissed by me, just as much as I need to be kissed by you.” He takes a step toward him, and the sun has set but the front lawn lights are on, and they almost make Nathan glow. “But I won’t do it if you didn’t like it.”

Sterling’s heart pounds in his chest, so fast and painfully he wonders if it will explode from his body. Maybe that would be easier, maybe then, he wouldn’t have to feel like such a damn fool all the time. He’s acutely aware that he is still sweaty from his run, that he probably smells bad, but to risk turning away now would also risk sending the wrong message.

He doesn’t know how to use words the same way he knows how to use action. So instead of answering him, Sterling merely reaches toward Nathan with his free hand, and tilts the shorter boy’s face up so that he has a better angle when he descends upon him in a short kiss. It seems to last an entire eternity when in reality it can’t be longer than a few seconds before Sterling pulls away.

Nathan chases after him immediately, barely leaving time for a low breath before he grabs Sterling’s waist and pulls him back in, stretching up on his toes so that their lips meet again. It’s more certain than the first time and Sterling immediately feels dizzy. He clutches at Nathan’s shoulders to help keep steady as he returns the eager kiss.

They stumble toward a darkened part of the front yard and Sterling presses Nathan’s back into the gate, suddenly hungry when Nathan clutches greedily at the back of Sterling’s neck with both hands. Sterling puts his own hands to better use as he finds Nathan’s waist and slips his leg between both of his settling against him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows he’s acting out of line, but Nathan shudders and mumbles unintelligibly and keeps him close. Sterling has to wonder if he really has any control at all in this situation and he’s proven to be almost entirely powerless when Nathan licks Sterling’s mouth and he goes boneless.

“I told you,” Nathan says breathlessly, smugly, as the gate cuts into his back and he pulls Sterling’s weight tighter against him. “I told you that you needed this.”

“You’re really annoying, you know that?” Sterling mumbles as he tilts his head and repositions for another kiss. Nathan’s glasses go crooked and he wraps his arms fully around Sterling’s neck. Sterling doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t want to stop. His hands get more desperate, his breaths come quicker and the kisses get a bit sloppier before, finally, Sterling turns his face far to the right to gather himself.

“I have to go,” he mutters as Nathan kisses his neck. “My mother will be wondering why I haven’t come home yet.”

“I should go too. I didn’t even mean to come here.” Nathan presses his mouth to the soft spot under Sterling’s ear and hums softly. “Sorry I came here all pissy. I was just...afraid.”

“I didn’t know that you could be afraid,” Sterling says in what almost sounds like a teasing voice.

“Well, I was,” Nathan replies sheepishly, pulling back just enough to look at Sterling’s shadowed face. “You were gone all summer. I kept thinking that maybe I scared you off or you changed your mind, or maybe that you realized you didn’t like me at all.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Sterling replies, leaning his forehead down against Nathan’s. “Seriously.”

Nathan kisses him one more time and then they slowly untangle and fix their mussed clothing.

“Call me,” Sterling says as Nathan passes back through the door.

Nathan grins, and his smile is so bright the lawn lighting almost makes it shine. “That’s what I wanted to hear. See ya.”