#nat writes things

“Hang on a second, Sam. Okay, Kurt, a deep breath in for me.” Blaine says, holding his thumb against one of Kurt’s rib bones. Kurt takes in one deep breath, and lets it go when Blaine tells him to, which is at the exact same time that Blaine forcefully shoves his thumb against the bone, setting the rib back into its socket. Kurt lets out a loud, painful groan, and Blaine lightly rubs over Kurt’s back again. “I’m sorry, love.”

“It’s fine, better than the alternative. Ugh. Yeah so, my joints don’t work. Sometimes bones will just slip out of their sockets, which makes it very painful to move. Or breathe. Oh, and the batteries should be at the top of the closet.” Kurt gestures vaguely to his left, and tries to take another breath but he’s still got a few ribs that are dislocated enough to make breathing painful.

“How does that even happen?” Sam asks, striding over to the hall closet.

“Do you want a science-y answer or the super simple one?” Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Somewhere in between?” Sam shrugs, reaching for the large box of batteries Kurt knows is in there.

“How about this one?” Blaine asks, gently pushing against a different rib.

“Agh, yeah. That one’s super angry.” Kurt groans, taking in another deep breath, preparing for Blaine’s shove. It’s not any less painful than the last one, Kurt realizes as he lets out another agonized groan. “Basically, there are proteins that keeps your joints jointed, and mine are misshapen, so my joints slip out of place pretty often. Ribs, shoulders, hips, knees, you name it, it’s probably out of place right now. That’s also why I’m so flexible, because all of my joints are weird, which means that they can extend farther than most people’s can - which is pretty much the only upside. My genes just suck.” Kurt sighs, once again accepting that this is just the way things are for him.

“Hey now, your jeans always look wonderful!” Blaine teases, pressing a kiss to Kurt’s temple as his hands continue rubbing up and down his spine, searching for more bones to reset.

“Jesus man, that’s…rough.” Sam winces, batteries in hand.

“It is what it is.” Kurt says nonchalantly. “So what are you and Finn playing that’s killing the batteries?”

“Oh, me, Finn, and Artie are just playing some Halo. I want full batteries though, because I might play some Minecraft with Stacy and Stevie later tonight. I think they miss not having me at home.” Sam says with a wistful smile.

“I think that’s wonderful, Sam.” Blaine says, looking away from Kurt for a moment to smile at Sam. “It’s really sweet that you’re still making time for your siblings, even though you’ve moved out.”

“Yeah, well. We were all we had at one point, so being away from them is really hard, but we’re making it work. It’ll take a lot more than you losers to keep me away from them.” Sam teases, tucking the AA batteries into his jeans pocket. “Anyway, I’ll let you two get back to making sure Kurt doesn’t die or something. Text me when dinner’s ready?”

Kurt lays his face back into the carpet below him, giving Sam a simple thumbs-up. “Will do. Later, Sam.” He hears Blaine say above him, and then there are Sam’s feet upon the stairs once more.

“Okay, so are there any other ones you can feel right now? Or do you want me to fix your hips next?” Blaine asks.

“Blaine, you don’t have to do this you know. My hips aren’t even that bad right now, can’t we just watch a movie or something?” Kurt grumbles, trying to avoid his words being muffled by the carpet.

“Not that bad? That means they’re out, goofball. I know I don’t have to, but I don’t like seeing you in pain either.” Blaine scolds.

“Occupational hazard of existing as me, Blaine. They’re just going to pop back out tomorrow during glee rehearsal if you fix them now, can we please please please just watch something?” Kurt whines. It’s not very often that he tells Blaine no, but he’s tired of being fixed for today.

“Alright, if you insist. Do you need a hand up?” Blaine asks, swinging his leg over Kurt’s hip so he can properly stand.

Kurt nods, and tries to sit up first. Blaine reaches out his hand and gives Kurt a hefty yank, allowing Kurt to stand up with very little effort. However, he still sees stars when he’s fully upright, but Blaine keeps one hand around Kurt’s waist to support him. “Aaaaaaaand…buffering, buffering. Okay. I’m good. Did you want to watch some more Gilmore Girls?” Kurt asks once he’s feeling a little more sure on his feet.

“Eh, not really in the mood today. I love that show but god, Richard and Emily give me my parents' vibes and not always in the best way. Why don’t we roll for a streaming service and find something new and mindless to watch?” Blaine suggests once he realizes that he doesn’t really want to continue anything on their current watch list.

“Yeah, alright.” Kurt says with a small smile, grabbing the 6 sided die and little laminated sheet that the Hudson-Hummels keep in the same little basket on the living room coffee table that also holds the remote, some drink coasters, and a box of tissues. Kurt rolls the die on the table, not looking at what number it’s facing as he looks upon the little cheat sheet that he made a few months ago. Burt and Carole are signed up for pretty much everything so that way New Directions get-togethers have more options for background noise and general party viewing, but sometimes that made it hard to pick what to watch. So, he came up with an idea to help narrow the options down a little bit. Each service was assigned a number, and you roll to see what to boot up. It was fairly simple, and it made movie nights run a little more smoothly.

“Three.” Blaine says, peering over Kurt’s shoulder to look at the paper. “Hulu?”

“Yep. You boot up the TV, and I’ll grab us something to drink.” Kurt says, starting to make his way out of the living room and into the kitchen.

“Snacks?” Blaine’s voice calls out.

“It’s almost four, I’ll be starting dinner in like forty-five minutes.” Kurt says with a slight chuckle.

“...So is that a no?” Blaine’s voice responds, child-like hope evident in its tone.

“So no, no snacks. Do you want a Sprite, Mountain Dew, or water? I think my dad and Carole drank the rest of my Diet Cokes.” Kurt grumbles, looking into the fridge.

“Sprite’s fine, thank you peach!” Blaine’s cheery voice appears again, apparently unsquashed by the lack of snacks.

When Kurt comes back into the living room with two glasses of soda in his hands, each with a color coordinating straw, he cocks his eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Peach?”

Blaine grabs the cup with the yellow straw, leaving Kurt with the cup with the blue one. “Hm?” He hums quizzically as he takes a sip.

“You said ‘thank you peach.’” Kurt sits down next to Blaine, offering him a small and nonjudgmental smile.

“Oh, I guess I did. I don’t know, you’re sweet and you have a nice butt.” Blaine shrugs his shoulders, trying to avoid drawing any attention to his ears that are starting to turn pink.

“That’s cute. Kind of tacky, but cute. I like it.” Kurt kisses Blaine’s cheek, and settles into the couch. “So what are we watching?”

“I’m kind of feeling something lighthearted and silly.” Blaine grabs the remote and starts flipping through their options. While narrowing down a platform had gotten easier, choosing a program had not. Too many options to be solved with dice.

They flipped mindlessly through the various lists and collections Hulu had to offer, occasionally taking small sips from their sodas, when they heard Finn’s voice from behind them. “Yo, they have the original Yu-Gi-Oh! series? That was my SHIT as a kid.”

“Care to join us? Blaine wanted something kind of silly to watch, and if Joey Wheeler’s accent is anything like I remember it being, I’d say this fits the bill.” Kurt offers, gesturing towards Finn’s dad’s armchair.

“You used to watch Yu-Gi-Oh?” Blaine asks incredulously.

“There was a boy who lived across the street who I used to hang out with a bunch when I was a kid, if my dad was at work but I didn’t have school. His name was also Joey, so he kind of got attached to the character. I would play with his brand-new Power Rangers, he’d sit on the couch behind me and watched the show. I’ve seen a decent amount of it, actually. Like, can we skip the first few episodes? I don’t really care about watching Grandpa’s soul get snatched.” Kurt says nonchalantly, but Blaine is staring at Kurt as if he just grew a second head.

“I agree, we can just skip to the Yugi versus Weevil fight.” Finn says, sitting down in the armchair.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kurt giggles, tapping Blaine on the knee.

“You watched anime as a kid? And like…retained it? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

“Were you not there when Mike, Artie, and Sam practically held me at gunpoint so we could all watch Death Note together?” Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“I think I heard about that, but I don’t think I was actually there for that. Which sucks, because-”

“I’m loving this adorable banter between you lovebirds, but I was promised some childhood nostalgia?” Finn says, cutting Blaine off and making him blush a little when he points the remote at the TV, finally pressing ‘play.’

The boys watch through the first match, giggling about how over the top 90’s anime dubbing was, but once Yugi Moto claims Weevil Underwood’s star chips for himself, Kurt excuses himself to the kitchen to begin dinner. He bought everything he needed at the store this morning, so he carefully begins making a batch of cajun chicken pasta. Other than the heavy cream in it, it’ll be mostly healthy for his dad, and Finn and Sam enjoy things that are spicy, so it sounded like a good idea. Plus, Kurt enjoys attempting to make his step-brother eat vegetables, and bell peppers go great in that.

He’s able to pull it together fairly quickly, only needing to bring out his cooking stool to sit on right before the pasta water finishes boiling. Other than asking Finn to grab him the heavy cream while he’s in the fridge grabbing more sodas, he’s also able to do it by himself, which is a miracle these days. Kurt loves cooking, but sometimes standing over a hot stove for an hour and a half isn’t very kind to his body. Buying a small chair to sit on helped a lot, but sometimes he does need to ask Blaine or Carole to take over for a few minutes while he lays on the floor, trying to make sure that none of his joints are too hyperextended or out of place.

“Dinner’s ready, you guys!” Kurt calls out to the whole house, but making sure to text Sam about it too.

Everyone gradually shuffles into the dining room, where Kurt carries the big steel pot onto the table. He goes back into the kitchen for the microplane and a wedge of parmesan, and sets that next to the pasta as well.

The conversation around dinner is light, although halfway through, Finn and Blaine ask if they can go back to rewatching childhood cartoons.

“What are you guys watching?” Sam asks after chewing a big mouthful of food.

“They’re watching Yu-Gi-Oh.” Kurt says dryly, but with a small smile towards his boyfriend.

“In the middle of dinner? Come on, guys.” Burt says, raising an eyebrow at the two teenagers.

“It’s not Friday! Can we take our food into the living room? Please?” Finn asks, directing his attention to his mother.

“We won’t spill anything, promise.” Blaine chimes in.

“Can I watch with you guys?” Sam asks quietly, leaning into Finn’s side.

Carole raises an eyebrow at Burt, who bows his head in defeat before waving the boys off. “Yeah whatever. Just make sure your dishes end up in the sink.” Burt says, not sounding anywhere near as frustrated as he looks.

Kurt and Carole smile at him, thinking it’s sweet how weak he is to these teenage boys. Kurt’s just thankful that him and Blaine are responsible, and won’t allow Finn or Sam to take advantage of that fact.

The boys look at each other with big smiles, top up their bowls with more food, and scurry off into the living room.

“Are you going to watch with them, Kurt? You can if you want, like Finn said, it’s not Friday. You don’t actually have to hang out with us if you don’t want to.” Carole says with a small chuckle.

“I like hanging out with you guys. Besides, while I see its entertainment value, that’s definitely more of a them thing, I think. I may pop in later, but I wanna eat with you guys, if that’s okay. Besides, then I don’t have to worry about accidentally forgetting leftovers or anything.” Kurt reasons with a shrug. He really does love his dad and Carole, and he feels like he hasn’t gotten to spend a lot of time with them lately.

They spend the rest of the meal mindlessly chatting away, discussing the beautiful Corvette that came into the shop this week, how excited Kurt is about winning sectionals, how Jen at work is pregnant and Carole is thinking about knitting her a baby blanket, and everything else in between. There aren’t too many leftovers by the time they’ve all announced that they’re full, so Kurt quickly cleans up and checks on his friends in the living room. Sam and Finn have taken up the couch, so Blaine is nestled in the armchair. He quickly strides over to his boyfriend, settling down on his lap. He looks at the TV and giggles. “Hey, it’s the Red-Eyes Black Draygon!” He announces, attempting Joey’s ridiculous accent.

“Indeed! I’m sorry for abandoning you at dinner, do you need help cleaning up or anything?” Blaine asks, pressing a small kiss to Kurt’s shoulder.

“Nah, it’s Finn’s night to do dishes anyway.” Kurt says a little bit louder, looking at his step-brother.

Finn’s eyes are set on the TV, but he does give Kurt a nod, which he hopes means that the dishes are actually going to get done tonight.

“You don’t actually have to watch this if you don’t want to. We can go upstairs and watch Gilmore Girls if you want.” Blaine suggests.

“It’s okay, I actually am kind of just enjoying this. You guys are cute, and I sort of enjoy your presence. Or something.” Kurt teases, shifting a little bit so he’s sitting on the sliver of chair to Blaine’s right, but he rests his legs over Blaine’s lap and sets his head on his shoulder. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt’s waist, and kisses his forehead. “Plus, if you were still planning on spending the night, we can always watch Lorelai make bad life decisions later tonight. Or tomorrow morning, honestly.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, darling. And yes, as long as your parents are still okay with it, I was kind of set on spending the night tonight.”

“Yeah, we’re all good.” Kurt confirms, turning his head a little to look at the TV with everyone else.

A few minutes later, Sam’s phone goes off. “Ah shit. Hey, would you guys mind waiting for me to keep watching this? My siblings want to play some Minecraft tonight and-”

“Don’t worry about it, man. We’ll wait for ya.” Finn says, grabbing the remote to change the TV.

“You guys are the best. Really.” Sam grins, and Kurt can almost swear he sees Sam’s eyes mist over. “I know it’s kind of silly, but it does mean a lot. Thanks for being family two.”

“We’re happy to be your electric boogaloo. Now go, don’t keep the little ones waiting!” Kurt teases, shooing Sam off to his room in the basement.

Sam clutches his phone in his hand and scurries off, which prompts Finn to stand up. “In that case, I’m gonna go get a start on dishes. I’ll talk to you dorks later.”

“‘Dorks?’ Who was just watching 90’s card game cartoons?” Kurt mutters incredulously, making Blaine laugh.

“You’ve got him there, peach.” Blaine pokes the side of Kurt’s butt to accentuate the nickname. “If everyone’s dispersing, do you wanna head upstairs?” He asks.

Kurt nods, and climbs up off of the chair. He doesn’t wait for Blaine before heading up to his bedroom, which turns out to not matter much because Blaine follows quickly behind. Kurt takes the stairs a little slower than usual, because while his hip isn’t too bad today, it still makes things like staircases a little complicated. He’s thankful that Blaine has learned to not hover, because if he tried to support him up the stairs like Kurt was an 85-year-old grandpa, he would’ve pushed his boyfriend down the steps.

Blaine holds open Kurt’s bedroom door, which makes him giggle and pretend curtsey. “Oh thank you, kind sir.” He revels dramatically.

Blaine bows his head and follows him into the room. It’s still pretty early in the evening, so the boys decide to get some homework done while Hairspray plays in the background on Kurt’s TV. Blaine’s English essay takes a little while to get through, so by the time they’re finished, it’s pushing 11 P.M.

“Do you want to do something else? You look kind of tired.” Blaine asks, concerned at how spaced out his boyfriend looks.

“I am. I don’t know if I’m ready to sleep quite yet, but I know I should probably get changed and like…wash myself before sleep ambushes me.” Kurt’s laying down on top of all of his blankets, forearms thrown over his eyes.

“That sounds like a good idea, love.” Blaine comments.

“Mmhm.” Kurt agrees, but doesn’t move.

“...Kurt? That doesn’t look like getting up to me.” Blaine chuckles, gently poking Kurt’s left elbow.

“That’s because it’s not.” Kurt states, unmoving.

“Come on, sleepy head. Will it make it better if I offer to shower with you?” Blaine offers.

“Are you sure? I don’t know if I have any products or anything for you here.” Kurt finally moves his arms from over his eyes to look at Blaine.

“You have better shampoo than I do anyway.” Blaine shrugs, a devilish smile appearing on his face.

“Fine, yeah that does sound nice. But no wanky shit okay? I really am tired, and we’ll probably have the house to ourself a bit tomorrow. I think Sam, Finn, Artie, Puck and Mike were all going to see a new Marvel movie, followed by a MarioKart tournament.” Kurt says, keeping his tone neutral despite what he’s suggesting.

“We’ll take it as it goes, I don’t like having to plan sex if we don’t have to. I just like hanging out with you! So let me hang out with you in the shower, and you can sit on your shower chair while I wash your shoulders, okay?” Blaine says, gently running his fingers up and down Kurt’s forearm.

Blaine’s heart rises up to his throat. “Yeah, that sounds good! I do enjoy some bumper bowling…”

“I know dude. The one time you beat Santana, Tina and Finn, all you wanted to do was go bowling for weeks after. Do you want to just meet there or…?” Sam teased.

“I’ll just meet you there, if that’s cool. I’ll head out now!” Blaine said, immediately looking for a pair of socks.

“You’ll probably beat me there, so just get us all set up alright? See you in ten.”

______________

“Hey, I don’t want to bring the mood down, but um…can I ask you something?” Blaine asked, eating another french fry.

“Yes, we can play another round after you eat. I’m not doing much else tonight.” Sam agreed with a shrug, staring at Blaine’s plate.

“No, not about that. I mean, I’m glad you still wanna play, even after I just beat you. But my question is about Quinn, actually. You guys dated, right?” Blaine tried to broach the subject slowly, because he’s only heard bits and pieces of what happened, and he doesn’t want to upset Sam at all.

It only sort of works, because Sam visibly tensed before taking a deep breath in. “Yeah, we dated when I first came to Lima. What about her?”

“She…she cheated on you with Finn, yeah?” Blaine had a hard time making eye contact with his best friend, and he felt slightly nauseous at the influx of emotions (and shitty bowling alley potatoes) stirring in his belly.

“Yeah. Santana used Finn’s stupid kissing booth to give them both mono while it happened. It’s um. Not a chapter I look back on nicely.” Sam’s voice sounded tired more than angry, which is what gave Blaine the courage to look up and meet his eyes.

“Did you ever forgive her? Or Finn? Like…did that scar you for life or anything?” Blaine wrenched his hands together underneath the table, trying to keep his nerves in check.

“Okay, I know this isn’t actually about me and Quinn, but I’m going to entertain your question anyway.” Sam’s smile is small, but it was comforting enough to make Blaine feel a little less nervous. “Forgiving Quinn wasn’t that hard, actually. I mean, yeah, it still hurts like hell if I think about it too hard, but she’s a really good person and I know that. When I saw her at church the week my house got foreclosed on, I knew she was somebody I could trust. Somebody who would have my back. Plus I think, after Beth and all, it was good for her to be around the little guys. My siblings really liked having her around. Finn was a little harder to get over, but I knew it wasn’t personal against me or anything. He was just really trying to get over Rachel I think, but he ended up making everyone more upset in the process, himself included. And now we’re roommates and play video games a good portion of the day. It’s kind of weird, with him helping run the glee club and all right now, but whatever. Does that make you feel any better?”

Blaine smiled a little, looking down at his lap. “Yeah, a little. But like…are you okay? Like, even if you knew it wasn’t personal, did that make dating Mercedes hard?”

“Not really. I mean yeah, I’ll never forget it, but I knew it was a one-off thing. Well, I mean, I knew she cheated on Finn with Puck, but that was another weird thing. I don’t think she really meant to hurt anyone either time. If I got cheated on again, I’d be fucking pissed though. But I knew Mercedes wasn’t that kind of girl. I’m okay now, Blaine. Time fixes a lot, and honestly? Perspective fixes a lot too.” Blaine tries to reach for another fry, but Sam grabs his hand before he makes it to the plate. “He’ll forgive you. I promise. It may not go back to what it was before, but that can be a good thing. Someday, when you’re adults, like real actual adults, you can write it off as teenage hormones or something. Ku-” Sam cut himself off, unsure if Blaine could handle hearing his name. But he swallowed and nodded politely. “Blaine. Kurt will forgive you. I promise. He cares about you so much. What you guys have going on, that’s not something that will fade away overnight, and nothing he can just forget about. I’m gonna be honest and say I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to date again, at least not for a while, but he’ll be back. I promise. If, for no other reason than Burt and Carole still ask about you a bunch. You’re a part of him, and he’s always going to be a part of you. You’re gonna be okay, man. I promise.” Sam’s smile was warm, and Blaine could feel every single word echo inside his head.

“Thank you, Sam. Really. You’re the best best friend a man could ever ask for, you know that?” Blaine moved his hand to give Sam’s a squeeze, before they both let go and Blaine could continue to eat his fries.

“Aw, what!” Artie groans, resting his plastic gun in his lap. “That was cheap.”

“Yeah, no fair, Hummel! You’ve got the world’s biggest human shield on your side.” Puck agrees, gesturing towards Finn.

“Shut it. I’m just a better shot than all of you, and you guys are gonna get me spotted. Just head towards Blaine’s room, I’m sure you’ll be joined by others soon.” Kurt whispers, shooing the three boys away.

They all sulk towards the designated “safe house” as Kurt quickly checks that his phone is on vibrate only.

It was Mike’s idea for a Nerf war while Blaine’s parents were out of town, and the rules were pretty simple. Everyone plays on just the main floor of Blaine’s house, so that way nobody can hide upstairs or in the basement, especially because Blaine’s house isn’t super wheelchair accessible for Artie. Mike brought his collection of Nerf guns, and Finn and Puck had a fair amount of their own as well, so everyone has at least one weapon. Every light was turned off, and no doors were allowed to be closed, except for Blaine’s bedroom, where everyone who has lost is to meet up so that way the battlefield is empty of “corpses.” Losers were to send in a text to the group chat, letting everyone know who is still in the game. Brittany was out first, after she walked away from Santana to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Other than the three morons who just got themselves shot, everyone else still seems to be in the game.

Kurt makes sure to keep a watchful eye out, slowly making his way down the hallway and towards the family room. He’s lucky he’s dressed for the occasion, because Kurt’s darker outfit and hair allow him to blend in to the walls fairly easily.

Unlike Sam’s very blonde hair, which is barely peeking out from behind the Anderson family piano.

Quickly scanning the rest of the room, he realizes that if anyone else was in here, they probably would’ve shot at Sam already, so Kurt as quietly as possible, slinks along the wall to his right to get a better angle at Sam. Headshots were technically fair game, but everyone agreed to keep them at a minimum because this is for fun, and not actual warfare.

Kurt is suddenly very glad he decided to not just shoot at Sam outright, because Mercedes is also crouched next to Sam. Oh, this was done on purpose. Mercedes Jones, you are one clever lady. Too bad you’ve met your match.

Kurt quickly drops to his knees, and manages to shoot both of them in the shoulder. They both let out a little gasp, and look behind them. Kurt gives a small wave, and whispers sorry as quietly as he can. Sam and Mercedes look at each other, give out a small groan, and stand up to walk towards Blaine’s room.

“Good luck, man.” Sam whispers back, giving Kurt a supportive pat on the shoulder.

“You’ve got this, boo. Kick some ass for us.” Mercedes leans down to whisper at him, and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Kurt smiles, and checks his phone for any more updates. Apparently Santana has already gunned down Quinn and Rachel, but Mike managed to get Santana.

Blaine, Mike and Tina is all that’s left, then.

Kurt and Blaine decided to split up, but Kurt is unsure if Mike and Tina are playing as singles or as a team. Puck was upfront about wanting to play with Artie, he knew that Artie was the better shot of the two of them and he wanted to make sure Artie could still use his hands to shoot, but everyone else tried to keep pretty quiet about if they were teaming up or not.

Kurt stays low to the ground, and starts making his way to the dining room.

Halfway down the hallway though, he hears a loud ‘click’ and the sound of a foam dart hitting the wall behind him.

“Dammit.” He hears Tina mutter, theoretically, to herself.

He looks to his left, and while he can hear Tina, he can’t really see her. He shoots towards the sounds she’s making, but there’s no indication of a hit. Kurt has the sense to keep his frustrations inside his head.

He quickly walks past the doorframe Tina must have shot him from, and he hides in the bathroom for a moment. The door is wide open, so it doesn’t offer much protection, but at least that way he knows nobody is going to sneak up behind him. He feels his phone buzz, and apparently Blaine managed to find Tina first.

Which means he’s close. Kurt immediately turns his phone off again, keeping a poised eye on the hallway he’s facing.

Sure he’s the love of my life, but he’s absolutely lost it if he thinks I’m going to let him win.

Keeping a trained eye on the space in front of him, Kurt anxiously awaits seeing Blaine’s perfectly sculpted head peek around…and there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Kurt feels another buzz, and tries to contain his groan.

It’s just Kurt and Blaine left. He must’ve gone in the opposite direction after eliminating Tina, and managed to catch Mike too.

Kurt grits his teeth, and slowly exits the bathroom. “Come on out, my love! It’s just us, you know you’re safe.” He hears Blaine call, but he doesn’t sound very close.

“As if, the only person who hates losing more than Rachel is you, dear.” Kurt responds, and he can hear a very faint ‘HEY!’ from Rachel in the safe house.

He knows he’s getting close, because Blaine’s footfalls are a little bit heavier than Kurt’s. Not noticeably, to most people. But Kurt would know that quiet pitter-patter anywhere.

Kurt sock-slides across the hardwood in the living room, and manages to clip his boyfriend in the thigh.

“Goddammit.” Blaine sighs, dropping his arm to his side.

Kurt blows pretend smoke off the barrel of his Nerf gun, and pretends to holster it to his side. “Game, set, match.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute. If anyone else had shot me, I’d say we couldn’t play this anymore.” Blaine pouts, sticking hit bottom lip out dramatically.

Kurt rolls his eyes, and grabs his boyfriend. “It’s an honor to kill you, darling.”

“Yeah yeah, go gloat to everyone else.” Blaine says, a smile returning to his face.

Kurt and Blaine walk hand in hand to Blaine’s room, and Kurt triumphantly raises his gun in the air.