#naomigrace

Ryan starting to flirtext me, I mean duh we flirt all the time. But hey we met once at the coffee shop, I don’t want to take things too fast. He asked me what I wear, and I like you in skirts, I want to cuddle you, wrap my arms around you (trust me, when he did these text I completely blushing), but he got more graphic about what he wanted.

It’s not I can’t sexting, I’ve done it many times, different guys but just not a person who met once. I don’t feel comfortable to do this. I started to ignore the sexting part and keep the text appropriate.

We still text a lot until one day he stopped texting because I can not hang out with him since no one watch Grace.

He said,"I don't know when we are gonna hang out again, I think you should look for a regular baby sitter before you look for a date.." Few days later I saw his ad online again. He tweaked his words and added: looking for a free time woman, no baggage or kids.

3 minutes after he dig through his compartment box, he found his wallet, I could see it from the inside of cafe. I don’t mind buying him a coffee, but I don’t want him to feel awkward because I buy him a coffee.

He walked in, ordered and we finally sat down outside. We talked and talked, I talked about my job, he talked about his business. He is the owner of Vodka company, his business just starting to soar. I told him about my job as an Internet Engineer, everything with Internet stuff. Network, websites, help desk, and all that geeky stuff. Then he asked what do I like to do, I froze.

It’s been 5 years I don’t have things “to do” besides work and take care of my household, kid, and umm my ex. We used to go to the park, arcades, zoo and that’s about it. Awkward…. I finally said “Just walk, I like to take pictures since I’m a photographer too” a w k w a r d…

I asked him casual questions such as if he had travel outside US, or what is your plan for your business and such. He talked so calm, so mature, so charming… Then he mentioned he likes to go on snowboarding / skiing, he even said, “we should go there, it would be fun!”

Yes it is almost summer and he is talking about winter already, my heart beats faster. “We…? Oh wow, we? Are we really gonna go that far? It’s not officially summer yet”, I said to my self. “Yes, I want to try. It’s going to be my first time skiing / snowboarding”, I said.

We had a good time, it was only an hour because he has to drop his son somewhere then go to warehouse to take care of his business. We had to say goodbye, even I wish I could spend more time with him. I hugged him, I don’t remember when the last time I feel warm like this, he is tall and he has a great posture, I could tell he works out but not crazy work out. He hugged me and said “it is really nice to see you”.

I walked to my car, he drove off…. I still sitting in my car, thinking about him. 5 minutes passed and I didn’t realize I was in the car for that long and did nothing, just stared at the clear beautiful sky. Beep beep…. I got a text from him!

“It’s nice to see you. You are very attractive” I was staring at my phone, my face is probably red I could feel my face is blushing. I texted him back, “It’s nice to see you too. I’m looking forward to see you again”.

“Sure, I would like that.”, he replied.

“I will see my schedule and will text you tonight”, I blushed again.

Maybe this is how Katie Holmes felt when she met Tom Cruise for the first time? I have crush on him, big time! I rarely have crush on the first sight, very rare!

Finally I got home and texted one of my friend Nicole and told her I met this charming guy. She asked me if I know his last name and asked me to look it up. So I did…

He is a businessman, a vodka owner. Guess what they do? Yep travel everywhere to promote his products, clubs, bars and pool parties. I saw his vodka girls, sales girls… They ALL sexy as you could imagine! 2-piece bikinis, tanned, blonde, skinny girls. Whaaattt? I feel SO under estimated. All of sudden I feel insecure. There is no way I look attractive compare to them! My self esteem just dropped from cloud nine.

That very night I texted him and asked him out sometime next week, I have to look for a baby sitter. I even asked my kid’s teacher if she knows someone who could watch Grace. But he didn’t reply my text. Hmm, maybe he is busy.

One day… Two days…. Three days… GREAT! What were you thinking Naomi?

Day 4, he finally answered my text! What??? He said, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. How are you?”

My heart raced, I texted him back right away, “I’m great, just busy at work. So what you been up to besides busy with your business?”.

He never answered me since then. That’s it.. Puff, he’s gone as if he never get my text. I don’t get it, he is so busy and can’t answer my text until now? Maybe he realizes that I am not as good looking as vodka girls. But what about his words? He said I’m attractive? He said he would love to go out again? He was talking about winter stuff together? Are those just bluffing words??? Or I am so far behind that I don’t know what dating people say nowadays?!

It was couple weeks before Father’s Day, I finally found this guy online, and we decided to meet up for coffee. His name is Chris, he is a business man, a legit business man! Even though before we met, he mentioned that he is very busy and travel a lot and thinks dating is exhausting. Okay, so what do you expect from this “site”? A friend? Cool, I am up with that too.

It was Sunday’s afternoon, I skipped my church just to see him ha! This is actually my first meet up after my divorce. I feel nervous, I should be there earlier I thought. It was such a gorgeous day… it was beautiful, sunny but not too hot, it was breezy afternoon. I am ready! So I got there 10 minutes before, I ran to the bathroom check my self in the mirror, took a deep breath and walked out and hoped he’ll be there.

"Hmm, he is late..", my mind starting to think if this is a joke? Ugh…. 5 minutes after the time we supposed to meet, I texted him just to make sure I’m at the right cafe.

"Hi, I’m here. It’s on Main st. and 16th st. right?" I texted him.

"O my, sorry I totally spaced it. I am horrible, give me 10 minutes I live near by", he replied.

"Wheew at least he wants to redeem himself and replied my text.", I thought.

He finally got here. I saw the big good looking Jeep car parked. He got out the car… He is tall and so charming. He walked in, his appearance is awfully handsome for a guy his age. He is 10 years older than me, but his face is mix between: Gerard Butler (less rough) and Matthew mcconaughey (somewhat).

My heart skipped a beat… He walked in, I shook his hand, I am too nervous, he smiled and said sorry he is late. Then he got in line to get a coffee, me meanwhile got a coffee already while I was waiting on him.

Whoever invented this, I would like to say THANK YOU! I know so many people really abhor online dating. People ask me to go out and have fun, go bar hopping or go to parties, go to church and so on. Let me explain why those don't work for me:

1. Bar? I feel Bar / Clubs are for fun. Yep, you go there, drink, dress up, and you have to look attractive to attract people. Then, not to mention, alcohol involved. Everything looks “prettier” or hazy when I drink, my mind does not function as suppose to. Met some of them, traded phone numbers but it ain’t go anywhere.

2. Party? I did this, my coworker invited me to his house warming, I feel great, I am very outgoing person, but when I stepped into his house, they all either couple or too old for me ha! I tried to talk to random people but I got stage fright, weird. I ended up home with no phone numbers. It’s so awkward if I go to people’s party by myself.

3. Church? Oh how I love church, but ask people phone numbers at church? Ummm from a woman? We all know that church is somewhat still hold that conservative thoughts about “Woman is suppose to be passive, not aggressive”. So I tried to “look around” at church, but the attractive ones usually go with their family, ugh! And I like to sit at front rows because I could focus on what pastor says and worship God passionately, but since when front rows are reserved for seniors and families? Is there a single Christian guy that like to sit in front rows?? I guess not.