#nanima

October and fall always remind me of memory with my grandma. She loved the maple leaf and I had collected some for her while walking home during fall. But I forgot to mail them to her and only came across them stuffed in a book four years after her passing. 

I miss you so much mamma. I have accepted that its never gonna sink in. Sometimes your memories will make me smile and sometimes cry. Sometimes your memories will make me feel grateful and sometimes wistful. Sometimes your memories will just be a passing thought, a nostalgic sentiment.

Nevertheless your memories will always remain with me. 

inbetween hers

a tasbeeh hangs from her wrist

and the beads softly tap one another

as she shakes our hands up and down.

maneh eschool ni moohkli, maneh jahwoo uthoo per Noor Bhaji ni moohkli;

mareh bhai ben neh johwoo paroo

i never got to go to school, i wanted to but Noor Bhaji wouldn’t let me;

I had to care for my siblings

silence on my part. I feel her large hands

a knuckle raised on every finger, one for each sibling

that was under her care.

maneh boh khusi awech tu college jhach tho, meh rose dua’aa mangoonch

ke Allah pak tharoo kam yab kabul kari deh

i am filled with so much joy that you are in college, i make dua’aa

everyday that Allah will help ease and fulfill your studies

                                                                              Ameen.