#nancy thomas

  B: This is an iconic film, it has some of the more memorable moments in the entire series, groundbreaking inventive special effects, some memorable kills. The scene where Tina gets dragged across the ceiling in the rotating room. The judge got fat and the lawyers got famous. It definitely stands on it's own merit as a film even if the other movies didn't exist. It does also have one of the worst special effects ever.

M: The door scene?

B: Yes.

M: That's fair. So what tier? A tier?

B: Dream warriors is gonna be in a class by itself. A tier.

M: Nightmare on Elm Street THE SECOND. Freddy's Revenge. A teenage boy is haunted in his dreams by deceased child murderer Freddy Krueger, who is out to possess him in order to continue his reign of terror in the real world. The gay one. Nancy has been scrapped in favor of some random teen boy and a completely different plot. Well it's not really different is it?

B: Well Freddy is trying to take over his body and not just kill him.

M: That's fair. Kinda gay though. This one wasn't great.

B: It's known for having a lot of homoerotic subtext. Why? I don't know.

M: The director has claimed zero knowledge of how incredibly gay this movie is. He insists none of it was intentional. I do not believe him. Neither did the main actor, who has a great documentary about it on Shudder. Scream, Queen. Shameless plug.

B: We're not sponsored by Shudder but WE COULD BE. You want us to review your shitty original movies, we'll do it!

M: They've had some good movies. So....it's watchable. It's not nearly as bad as some of the other ones. I'd put it in B tier.

B: I'd say B tier. It's watchable. It's not really good but it's far from the worst in the franchise.

M: Dream Warriors. (Biscuits sings the entire song first ) A psychiatrist familiar with knife-wielding dream demon Freddy Krueger helps teens at a mental hospital battle the killer who is invading their dreams.

B: That song SLAPS ASS. Obviously it's an S tier! It's an S tier just because of the song by Dokken. Also it's the best movie. Also little tiny baby Laurence Fishburne!

M: I agree. Nancy comes back, there's a wild plot. They finally really for the first time really explore the idea of a dream world and it's possibilities.

B: They create dreamsonas and fight Freddy. Also the vein puppet kill and the one where Freddy's head comes out of the walL.

M: It's the best of the series hands down. There's not much debate about that. But then, things get weird. Nightmare on Elm Street 4 - The Dream Master. Freddy Krueger returns once again to terrorize the dreams of the remaining Dream Warriors, as well as those of a young woman who may be able to defeat him for good.

B: What even happened in this one? Didn't they bring back the dream warriors and kill them all off?

M: Yeah and then Kirsten dies and Alice takes over the entire plot. Mostly Freddy just kills all of Alice's friends and she absorbs all their abilities and uses them to kick Freddy's ass but he comes back.

B: Obviously this movie didn't leave much of an impression on me. We'll make this the sole representative of the C tier. It's not as bad the next two.

M: I agree. Nightmare on Elm Street 5 - The Dream Child. The pregnant Alice finds Freddy Krueger striking through the sleeping mind of her unborn child, hoping to be reborn into the real world.

B: He tries to like, infect her fetus. There's the whole scene with the people's faces on sperm. And then it turns out the entire time his weakness was his mom?

M: Yeah they threw the whole weird mom nun backstory in there. The thing that bothers me the most about the dream child, is that the kid looks absolutely nothing like either of his parents. He got black hair, yo.

B: The mere concept is weird enough. What if Freddy tried to be the baby? And they just never said Nah maybe not that. Why are there suddenly so many mommy issues?

M: D tier for sure. Freddy's Dead - the Final Nightmare. Dream-haunting Freddy Krueger returns once again to prowl the nightmares of Springwood's last surviving teenager, and of a woman whose personal connection to Krueger may mean his doom. This is the weird one with his daughter.

B: He had a daughter and a kid that were never mentioned before.

M: And like 100 celebrity cameos. And there was bad 3d. Really bad. Yaphet Kotto was in it. They suddenly through a whole LOT of backstory about Freddy and it was really dumb and somehow this movie made more money than any of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. And the first one literally saved New Line. It's awful. I love Freddy to death and I would watch Robert Englund do his thang forever but ugh.

B: He gives it his all but nobody else did. Objectively the worst.

M: It's too comedic. There's no scary anything. The kills are dumb, the plot is dumb, it's just tons of one liners and it's not scary or gross or anything. D tier.

B: I don't even remember what happens in the movie.

M: Okay so technically....I think Freddy vs Jason came out next. Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize the teenagers of Elm Street. Only this time, they're out to get each other, too.

B: It's not good. They just rehashed a lot of Dream Warriors. It's better than Dream Child. It makes some sort of sense. You can follow what's going on and Katherine Isabelle from Hannibal is in it.

M: It's trashy but it's kinda fun. It's at least something to get drunk to. The kills are at least inventive. Also Jason is here. Not really sure why. It kinda felt like a Freddy movie with Jason in it.

B: And of course they couldn't let either of them win because they didn't want to piss off either fan base, pussies.

M: It's uh....C tier? B tier? Is it better than Dream Master?

B: I at least remember this one. B tier.

M: Wes Craven's New Nightmare. I fucking loved this. I thought the meta was handled well, I thought Freddy looked amazing, he was very creppy.

B: I like the concepts that Wes came up with, the meta doesn't overstay it's welcome. I like how it melds the nightmare world into the real world meta. I don't know if I'd put it in S tier but it's high on the list. It's actually a good movie.

M: I'm not saying it's flawless, some of the fx in the final fight scenes are really hokey but I give them mad props for not just Cgen-ing everything. But as a narrative, as a sequel, and as what I feel was a proper ending ( fucking fuck you Freddy's Dead ) to one of my favorite franchises, I'm putting it in S tier, fight me.  It doesn't retcon anything, it's really well done.

B: I wouldn't put it above Dream Warriors. Doesn't have Dokken.

M: You wouldn't put the greatest movie ever made above Dream Warriors. Unless Motley Crue did the soundtrack.

B: Fuck you.

M: Oh shit, we got one more! The remake! I'm not doing an IMDB blurb it's the same fucking plot.

B: But bad. I feel bad for Jackie Earl Hayley, he tried. He wasn't ever gonna be Robert Englund and nobody else was trying. They were just like, whatever. He had some much going against him and he could have been better. M: He was the best part of the movies, but you can't just take a character like that that's so well known and so iconic and just throw someone else in the role. You gotta reinvent the entire thing. You gotta go in a completely new direction.

B: Also the plot where they try to say he was falsely accused is so contrived and stupid. Why is that even in there?

M: So they could put a predictable plot twist in later and go oh shit he was bad all along. Also, oldest teenagers I've ever seen in a movie. This movie was never gonna be good. Hayley plays it too straight and too serious and it doesn't work. The cgen versions of the exact same effects from the first movie just make you hate it.

B: It sucks. Shit tier. We're making a new low tier. F tier. If you're thinking of seeing it, don't. It's not worth your time. Join us next time when we tier some more horror franchises but we don't know which one because we gotta watch some movies.

M: I agree. I like to pretend it doesn't exist as part of the franchise. I sleep better. Munch and Biscuits out, yo.