#namgi fluff

If ever given a choice, Namjoon would much prefer going to a coffee shop to do his work instead of going to the office or even working from home. At the office, even though he was working with other producers and musicians, there were too many people coming and going and being generally loud that it disrupted his work flow. At home, there were too many distractions, not limited to but including his roommate Hoseok. There was always something else to do to procrastinate, even though he loved working with music - especially now, working on his own project. So he found this little place with a blue sign near his apartment that was open every single day of the week, and camped at one of the few tables for the afternoons. There were people coming and going, for sure, but they were never too loud, and the smell of fresh coffee being frequently made in addition to the pleasurable sound of the machines and utensils working created the ideal environment for him. 

The fact that one of the two afternoon baristas was someone very similar to a grumpy cat - a handsome one, that is - also helped a lot. His name was Yoongi, Namjoon learned the first time he crossed the glass door from the harsh and freezing weather into the warmth of the industrial shop. He thought he had fallen in love that very first afternoon - well, started harboring his strong crush - when Yoongi had brewed him a hot americano and put it on the counter with a small nod in his direction. Now Namjoon had replaced the heavy thick coat for a light jacket and the hot americano for a cold one. There were very few words exchanged between them the entire time, but whenever they talked, Namjoon felt something akin to butterflies in his stomach and he had to hold his own hands to stop them from shaking. 

Namjoon had to almost run to the coffee shop that day, for the rain was pouring heavily, his umbrella barely able to do its job, his backpack to his chest to protect his laptop from the water. The seemingly always grumpy barista was there again, his back to the windows. Even with the downpour, Namjoon had to pause and take a deep breath before entering the cafe to try to appease the butterflies making a mess of his insides. But there was something different. Something had changed. As soon as Namjoon crossed the threshold and put his umbrella in the designated place, despite the awful weather outside, Yoongi looked at him and smiled. He smiled. A beacon of happiness to Namjoon’s week, that gummy smile taking him by surprise.

“You’re RM, right?” he asked, handing him his now usual order of a large iced americano, before Namjoon had even ordered it.

“What?” Namjoon froze by the door, not believing the scene in front of him and what he heard.

“The rapper and producer, RM? I’ve seen you working on music before, just hadn’t connected the possible dots yet.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me. How did you know?”

“Hearing you order here and then listening to RM’S music, I couldn’t help but wonder if it were you… the depth and low tone of your voice, especially when you sing…” Yoongi trailed off, suddenly even shier at speaking the truth.

It was the first time someone had recognized Namjoon for who he was as a musician and he couldn’t feel happier - and even more proud of himself. Especially when it was his crush recognizing him and his work. It was also the first time that Namjoon sat at the counter to talk to Yoongi, never once even crossing his mind to open his bag to retrieve his laptop to keep on refining his new songs. Conversation flowed, and time passed without any of them really noticing. It was almost as if they were hypnotized; a trance of good conversation and an even bigger interest from both parts, truly starting to get to know each other. As the place was closing for the day, Namjoon shakily inhaled deeply then exhaled, gathering every little sliver of courage he possessed.

“Maybe we could go out sometime for a coffee? Well, not for a coffee, I imagine you wouldn’t like that after being around it all day at your job, but maybe for a drink? Or a talk? Or maybe…” Namjoon had a tendency to ramble when he was nervous, and Yoongi could not help but smile again, finding it adorable how flustered the other seemed to be.

“Coffee works just fine, I love coffee. As long as it is not here, I quite enjoy going to new places.” 

“It's a date then. I mean, sorry, if you don't mean it that way, but…” 

Yoongi had to interrupt again, wanting to reassure Namjoon that they were on the same page, with the same intentions. “It is a date.” 

Namjoon can't seem to find the words to say. "I'm...I'm so—"

"Clumsy," Yoongi supplies with a smirk, squatting with a hand on Namjoon's knee to blot at the water on the floor. 

"Yeah. Shit."

"Are you good?" Yoongi asks, running a dry section of the towel over Namjoon's shin before glancing up at him with a smile. "Do we need another towel?"

Time seems to slow as Namjoon stares down at Yoongi in an attempt to process what he has asked him, and then he shakes his head slowly. "N-no, thanks, hyung."

Yoongi stands, using Namjoon as leverage and walks the towel back to the server. When he returns, his face breaks, and he practically falls into his chair with laughter. Namjoon can only watch him in silence, feeling completely mortified. Meanwhile, the spot on his knee where Yoongi touched him still feels warm. 

"Hyung, I'm—"

"Amazing," Yoongi rasps, holding onto his stomach as his laughter subsides and comes out in short bursts of wheezing. "You're like a big, sweet golden retriever. It's endearing, don't worry; you don't need to be embarrassed."

"Oh," Namjoon responds, shifting in his seat as he scoots back to the table. "Well, I promise you that I am very embarrassed."

Yoongi shakes his head and leans forward, elbows on the table as he chuckles through his words. "I'm so sorry; I shouldn't have laughed. You just seemed so lost. You spilled your water, and all systems logged out."

Namjoon chuckles to himself and rubs his hands over his eyes and temples. The laughter dies and Yoongi studies Namjoon, grazing his bottom lip between his teeth—a movement which Namjoon does his best not to watch too intently. Despite the overwhelming urge to crawl into a hole and die from mortification, Yoongi's presence is calming, and Namjoon sits back in his chair in an attempt to relax.

"We can go somewhere else and pretend that never happened," Yoongi offers with a grin. "Just start over. New names, new identities and a fresh glass of water. Nobody has to know."

"Hyung," Namjoon whines. He needs to move past the incident altogether. With a sigh, Namjoon mutters, "I need a beer," and Yoongi calls their server over. 

"We need a pitcher of beer and a bottle of soju," Yoongi says to the server, chuckling as he adds, "and please set all of that in front of me. Thank you. We still need a moment to decide on food."

Namjoon crosses his arms over his chest and stares Yoongi down, waiting for the server to leave the two of them. Yoongi notices and rolls his lips between his teeth as if trying to bite back a smile. 

"Yes?" Yoongi finally asks, raising his eyebrows. 

"Nothing," Namjoon mutters, dramatically raising his eyebrows, too. "I'll just remember this, hyung. That's all."

Yoongi's mouth falls open, and he leans forward to softly grumble, "What? You don't have a humiliation kink?"

"No," Namjoon responds through a burst of laughter. "I do not."

"Ah, okay." Yoongi sits back and cocks his head to the side. "Good to know."

Silence settles between them, and they watch one another with soft, curious smiles. Namjoon knows the moment alcohol touches his lips, he'll have a hard time keeping all of his thoughts at bay, but Yoongi seems to be on the same page as him and is brazen enough to pick on him while casually bringing up humiliation kink, so perhaps getting a little looser lipped is just what he needs. On the other hand, Namjoon is stone sober and already fighting the image of Yoongi on his knees before him, wiping spilled water off the floor, so perhaps alcohol may make him say things he will come to regret. He is willing to take the chance. 

The server returns with a tray of glasses, a pitcher of beer and a bottle of soju, and he sets everything directly in front of Yoongi, as instructed. Yoongi grins, clearly pleased with himself and Namjoon returns an unimpressed glare as Yoongi gets to work pouring their drinks.

"So you're a music producer," Yoongi says, glancing briefly at Namjoon over the pitcher in his hand as he fills a frosted glass. 

"I am," Namjoon responds, letting the grumpy facade slip as he leans forward to accept the glass Yoongi hands him across the table. He takes a long, slow drink, letting the cold carbonated liquid ease the nerves that are still on edge. Then he sets the glass far enough to the left side that he can't possibly knock it over by accident. 

Yoongi follows the movement, bites back a smile and proceeds to fill the second glass with beer. "What made you want to get into the music business?"

Namjoon reaches over the grill, plucks the soju bottle from in front of Yoongi and shakes it. Yoongi sets the pitcher of beer down and stands to place the small soju glasses in front of Namjoon. 

"My goal was to be a rapper," Namjoon says as he cracks the bottle open. "I even made a couple mixtapes and got some college stations to play a couple of the tracks. But the company that signed me was impressed with my production skills and offered to send me to college so I could join the team."

"Wait, so you have an album out there?" Yoongi asks.

Namjoon sets the soju bottle down to the right, between the two of them, and hands a small cup to Yoongi. "I do," he mutters with a smirk, delighting in the way Yoongi's face lights up. 

Yoongi takes the soju cup and holds it suspended above the grill. "And I get to listen to your songs, when?"

"I don't know, hyung," Namjoon sighs, pretending to be shy, "it's pretty personal."

"You've seen my art," Yoongi responds with an unimpressed raise of his eyebrows.

Namjoon shrugs, turns to the side and shoots his soju back. The liquid simultaneously cools and warms him, filling him with the faintest tingle of intoxication. "Everyone who walks into the shop has seen your art."

With a scoff, Yoongi shoots his soju back and sets his glass down. He leans over the table and mutters, "Are you calling me a slut, Namjoon?"

"If the shoe fits, hyung," Namjoon responds, nibbling on his bottom lip. 

Yoongi's mouth falls open, and he croaks out the beginning of a response but is cut off as the server approaches. They hadn't discussed what they want to eat, and both quickly look over the menu. 

"Beef bulgogi and pork belly?" Yoongi asks, glancing over his menu. 

Namjoon nods, "That's good to start."

The server switches on their grill and walks away, leaving Namjoon and Yoongi to watch each other some more. Namjoon can tell Yoongi has something on his mind, and he wonders just how many buttons he will have to push to get the pretty man to open up. Or, Namjoon thinks, perhaps Yoongi responds well to direct confrontation. Only one way to find out. 

"What is it, hyung?" Namjoon asks, leaning onto his elbows on the table. "You look like you have something on your mind."

A smirk tugs at Yoongi's lips. "I have a lot on my mind, as a matter of fact."

"Oh? Care to share?"

Yoongi watches Namjoon, eyes slowly searching his face. Namjoon isn't sure what he expects Yoongi to say, but his heart skips a beat when he mutters, "I like you, Namjoonah."

Warmth blooms in Namjoon's chest and rises quickly to his cheeks, and he reaches for his beer, pulling it to his mouth. "Is that so?" he asks before taking a drink. Yoongi nods. 

The server returns and begins placing meat on the grill. Meanwhile, Namjoon and Yoongi gaze at one another. Namjoon's mind races with things he wants to say, but Yoongi's warmth and beauty are so disarming he finds it difficult to put anything to words. 

Namjoon does fine whenever supplying a response is easy, such as being asked about what he does for a living. But as soon as he opens his mouth to tell Yoongi he likes him too, words jumble and twist, becoming a useless pile of nonsense. The server has already left, and all Namjoon can do is gawk at Yoongi. 

"You look like you also have something on your mind," Yoongi says with a teasing tone.

Namjoon hums and nods. "Guilty."

"Well? Care to share?" 

The jumble of thoughts and feelings flood Namjoon all at once. Flower petals, crashing waves, drowning, overwhelming, floating, pretty, pretty, so fucking pretty, soft, sharp, the desire to kiss and kiss until he can't breathe. 

Namjoon takes a deep breath and simply says, "I like you too, hyung. 

"Good," Yoongi responds with a smile. He reaches for the tongs and scissors and begins to organize the meat and flip thinner pieces that seem to be cooking quickly. 

Once again, Namjoon finds himself mesmerized by Yoongi's hands. Having a front-row seat to watch them in action proves to be more dangerous than Namjoon could have imagined as Yoongi makes quick yet delicate work of organizing the grill. He is certain it is not the meat that his mouth waters for. 

Namjoon grabs his beer and drains it slowly, setting the empty glass down, all the while watching Yoongi's deft fingers control scissors and tongs. A deep, rumbly chuckle pulls Namjoon's attention away, and he finds Yoongi watching him with his head cocked. 

"Are you staring at my hands, Namjoonah?"

"Yes," Namjoon blurts, feeling the nice warm fog of intoxication cover him. 

"Care to tell me why?"

The thought of actually telling Yoongi what goes on in his mind nearly makes Namjoon laugh. Instead, though a smirk, Namjoon says, "I just think...your hands are very talented, hyung."

Yoongi's mouth falls open, and he stares at Namjoon long enough for a blush to sneak up his neck to his cheeks. Namjoon is at the point of feeling tipsy where he has less and less of a filter, and he hardly feels ashamed when he says, "Wow, you're even prettier when you blush."

"Kim Namjoon," Yoongi says, pointing the scissors at Namjoon with a playful glare. 

"Min Yoongi-hyung," Namjoon responds, cocking his head.

"I'm cutting you off. You've had enough beer."

Namjoon grins, "What are you going to do if I drink more? Stab me with those dull kitchen shears?"

Yoongi drops the scissors on the table, grabs the half-empty pitcher of beer, and holds it close. "I can deny you."

This makes Namjoon sit back against his chair and laugh. "I'm stronger than you are, hyung; your idle threats mean nothing."

"You're sure about that?" Yoongi asks as he sets the pitcher aside and reaches his hand out for Namjoon's plate. 

Namjoon grabs his plate and holds it out, keeping his eyes on Yoongi, who appears increasingly flustered as he distributes meat between their dishes. Namjoon lowers his voice to ask, "Care to find out?"

The corners of Yoongi's mouth quirk, but he keeps his attention on his task until the grill is empty. Namjoon sets his plate down and reaches over the table to grab the beer pitcher away from Yoongi and fill his glass. 

"Taehyungie didn't mention you get so bold when you drink," Yoongi mutters. 

Namjoon perks up in attention and sets down the beer pitcher close to Yoongi. "What was that?"

"Hmm? Nothing," Yoongi says before drinking the rest of his beer and refilling it, avoiding eye contact with Namjoon. 

"You've been talking to Taehyungie about me?"

Yoongi chuckles and glances up. "Maybe."

Everything looks and smells amazing, and Namjoon feels frozen in space, unable to decide which is more urgent: getting more information from Yoongi or eating. He decides to give Yoongi a moment of reprieve and begins wrapping meat and bits of pickled vegetables into a perilla leaf. As soon as Yoongi takes a bite, Namjoon digs in.

The first bite of food is so good, Namjoon groans and sits back in his seat, reveling in the flavors. Not that he's ever had bad barbeque; it's a simple meal, all things considered. But it's the perfect blend of savory and spicy, and it was served to him by Yoongi's pretty hands.

"Good?" Yoongi asks, looking at Namjoon expectantly. 

"Perfect, hyung," Namjoon responds before shoving the rest of the wrap into his mouth. 

They eat silently for a while, only muttering from time to time about how good the food is. Yoongi checks in to make sure Namjoon has enough to eat, and once the grill is empty, the server comes back to ask if they want more, only to return a moment later with round two. Yoongi tends to the grill while Namjoon stands to grab Yoongi's soju cup, and he busies himself by pouring them a drink.

"So," Namjoon says with a grin as he stands to place Yoongi's cup of soju on his side of the table. Yoongi glances at Namjoon, then back at the meat. "You were saying something earlier about how you talk to Taehyungie about me..."

Yoongi hums and cracks a smile, then sets down the tongs and scissors and picks up his soju. "Cheers to our friend Taehyung," he says.

Namjoon rolls his eyes and lifts his cup, tapping it against Yoongi's and shooting it back. Now that the beverage is less chilled, it's more pungent, making Namjoon scowl. 

"I may have asked him about you," Yoongi mutters quickly as he picks up the tongs and begins flipping over thin strips of beef.

Namjoon grins and sits back, attempting not to look as smug as he feels. He watches Yoongi, waiting for him to continue, and each time Yoongi sneaks a glance at Namjoon, flowers take root inside his ribcage. 

"You're staring at me again," Yoongi grumbles. 

There's a soft shyness to Yoongi that makes Namjoon's head spin. Yoongi with tattoos covering his hands, arms and neck. Yoongi, with his eyebrow and lip piercings, who looks and sounds so sharp and rough around the edges. Namjoon wants to pull him into a firm embrace and pet him until he purrs. 

"Just waiting for you to continue," Namjoon responds. 

"I'll need more beer before I begin confessing to you, Kim Namjoon."

Namjoon raises his hand and calls over a server, feeling giddy as Yoongi leers at him incredulously. He orders another pitcher of beer and makes quick work divvying what is left of the old one between the two glasses, filling each a little under halfway. 

When the server returns to exchange their empty pitcher for a full one, Namjoon finds Yoongi sitting with his arms crossed, tonguing the inside of his mouth. Namjoon fills their glasses to the top and sing-songs, "Drink up, hyung."

"I have to drive, you know," Yoongi says as he drinks from his glass. 

"Ah, right," Namjoon responds, realizing he's not sure where they are. "I walked to the tattoo shop, but I don't know where we are in relation to my apartment now."

Yoongi grabs the tongs and motions for Namjoon to give him his plate. "Your apartment is within walking distance of my shop?"

"It's about a twenty-minute walk."

Yoongi hands Namjoon his plate, freshly stacked with meat, and Namjoon sets it before him and waits for Yoongi to serve himself. "Do you live far?" he asks.

"Nah, also walking distance," Yoongi says. "But the bakery I got those donuts from is in the opposite direction, which is why I drove."

Giddiness is quickly replaced by guilt at the revelation that Yoongi went out of his way to get them treats that nobody ate. "Well, now I feel bad that we abandoned the donuts."

Yoongi shrugs. "We can go back for them after this if you're up for dessert. Or Jeongguk will eat them in the morning."

Namjoon likes the idea of returning to the shop for the sole purpose of sitting amongst Yoongi's artwork and eating donuts, but rather than expressing his interest, he decides to tease him. 

"Ahh, I see what this is," Namjoon responds playfully. Yoongi raises his eyebrows, and Namjoon continues. "You did all this to get me alone in the shop later."

"Totally," Yoongi responds sarcastically as he sits back and reaches for a leaf. 

"Taehyungie must have told you we had sweets before we arrived, and you used that knowledge to your advantage. You're very cunning, hyung. I'm impressed."

Yoongi nods slowly, then has a bite of his food, and Namjoon takes this as his cue to dig in. Once again, they eat without saying much, and Namjoon keeps their beers topped off. By the time they're finished with their food and sitting back with satisfied groans, the beer pitcher is a little over half empty. 

They decide to abandon the rest of the pitcher, and after a heated round of bickering over who gets to pay for the tab, Yoongi stands and makes his way to the register without giving Namjoon any more opportunity to argue. Namjoon considers taking chase and strong-arming him away from the counter but decides that after dumping his water all over himself, he's already caused enough of a scene for one evening. Instead, he downs the last of his beer and joins Yoongi near the door. 

"Are you sure you're good to drive, hyung?" Namjoon asks as they approach Yoongi's car. Yoongi isn't stumbling, and he doesn't seem to be drunk, but Namjoon wants to make sure.

"Yeah, I'm good," Yoongi mutters as the doors to his car unlock. 

Namjoon opens the passenger side and slides into the seat. Yoongi's car has a musky, citrus smell that makes Namjoon feel at home, and he sinks back, comforted by Yoongi's presence. 

"I guess you didn't drink enough beer to confess, then, hmm?" Namjoon teases, turning his head to look at Yoongi. 

Yoongi stretches his arm behind the passenger seat as he looks behind him and backs up just enough to pull out of the parallel parking space. The proximity of his arm makes Namjoon's stomach swoop, and he can't help but study Yoongi's slight frown as he concentrates. There's a playful glint to Yoongi's eyes as he glances at Namjoon before pulling his arm away and shifting gears. 

"I asked Taehyung about you after the first time he brought you to the shop," Yoongi says as he pulls onto the road. 

Happiness spreads like wildfire across Namjoon's face, warming his cheeks. All he can bring himself to say is, "Really?"

Yoongi hums. "He mentioned you weren't into piercings or tattoos and that he had only brought you to the shop to meet Jeongguk. So, you can imagine my surprise when you kept coming back."

"I went back hoping to see you," Namjoon says, watching intently as Yoongi's eyes drift toward him before returning to the road, and the edge of his lips upturn.

"I was hoping you would say that," Yoongi confesses softly. He chuckles and shakes his head, and Namjoon hums as if to ask what's on his mind. 

"When Taehyung mentioned out of the blue that you wanted to get a tattoo, I almost didn't believe him." They pull up to a stop light, and Yoongi turns slightly, smiling at Namjoon. The red light filters through the windshield, casting a pretty pink glow over Yoongi's skin. 

"I thought he was just finding some silly roundabout way to give me your number," Yoongi continues. "I hesitated before contacting you."

"Wow, hyung," Namjoon grins, "you almost missed your shot."

Yoongi shakes his head and turns his eyes back to the road. The light turns green as Yoongi mutters, "I would have asked you out eventually."

Namjoon feels powerless to do anything but sit and stare. Yoongi watches the road intently with a small smile tugging at his lips, then pulls up to the curb and puts the car in park. Yoongi shuts off the ignition, turns to Namjoon, and nods toward the shop as he mutters, "Here we are."

Here we are. Namjoon lets the sentence settle in and take up space inside his chest, keeping his eyes on Yoongi's pretty face just a beat longer. Then he smiles to himself, undoes his seatbelt, and gets out of the car. The sound of Yoongi's door closing is heard as Namjoon moseys slowly to the entrance of the tattoo shop. 

At night, a red neon TATTOO sign hangs bright in the window, which is covered by black curtains—a lone beacon for what's hidden inside the otherwise plain-looking brick storefront. Yoongi walks ahead and unlocks the door, holding it open for Namjoon. 

Namjoon enters the dark shop, taking only a few steps through the door so Yoongi can close it and turn the lock. Then, light comes to life slowly, left on a dim setting that Yoongi controls beside the door. Namjoon makes his way toward the counter where the donuts are and sits on the leather office chair on the opposite side. 

"Just make yourself at home," Yoongi mutters as he grabs the bag containing the pastry box, leans over the counter and plops it in front of Namjoon. 

"Don't mind if I do," Namjoon responds with a grin as he watches Yoongi walk through the shop, spinning around in the chair for the best view. Yoongi grabs the large matching leather chair from his desk and wheels it over, pulling it close to Namjoon's side. Air puffs from the cushion as Yoongi practically throws himself into the seat. 

Now that they're alone again, Namjoon feels a swell of anxiety beginning to grow in his tummy. Sure, they were flirtatious in the restaurant, but what if Namjoon says or does something that comes off as too forward? Or what if Yoongi wants something Namjoon isn’t quite ready to give? He doesn't want to make Yoongi uncomfortable. 

"Namjoon," Yoongi grumbles, and Namjoon blinks, only to realize he has once again been staring.

Namjoon clears his throat. "Yes, hyung?"

But how could Namjoon look anywhere else when Yoongi is so close and so pretty? It's as if Yoongi has placed Namjoon under some kind of enchantment, and all he can do is fall for him.

"What's on your mind?" Yoongi rasps.

Namjoon shakes his head, studying the slow twist of Yoongi's lips—pouty and pink. He wants to suck Yoongi's lower lip into his mouth and taste honey and metal. 

"Nothing," Namjoon mutters. 

Leather creaks as Yoongi leans toward Namjoon. His heart pounds, and he watches as Yoongi's eyes search his face with a curious smirk, down to his lips and back.

"You're thinking about nothing while gazing longingly at my lips?" Yoongi clarifies.

Namjoon's mind wanders, and he curses both chairs for having wheels. If only he could grab Yoongi by the hips and pull him onto his lap—but with his luck, they would topple over or knock into something important. 

Yoongi lets out a soft, raspy chuckle and shakes his head as he sits back in his chair. "It's too easy," he says under his breath. 

"What is too easy?" Namjoon asks, voice low, almost dreamy, as if he's caught in a trance. 

"Making you blush," Yoongi responds as he reaches for the bag and unties it. Namjoon, admittedly, has already forgotten about the donuts. 

Anxiety turns to confidence at Yoongi's words, and Namjoon leans forward, crowding Yoongi's space. He drops his voice even lower as he says, "How can I help it when you're so fucking pretty?"

Yoongi's fingers pause on the edges of the closed white box. "Pretty, hmm?"

"Very."

Abandoning his task, Yoongi cocks his head and keeps his eyes on Namjoon. "Keep talking like that, and I'll have to kiss you."

Namjoon's breath hitches, and he does his best not to show how affected he is by Yoongi's words. "Is that a threat?"

With a nod, Yoongi flicks his tongue out, delicately playing with his lip ring, making Namjoon's head spin as his eyes follow the movement. He leans in again, crowding Yoongi's space more as the chair groans beneath him. 

"Then I guess I have no choice but to continue."

"Dying to kiss me, hmm?" Yoongi teases.

Namjoon nods, feeling his cheeks flush at the admission. He fights the urge to advance on Yoongi and crush their lips together, containing the burning fire that threatens to consume him. He likes drawing it out and building the tension—he wants Yoongi to want it.

"It's crossed my mind a few times."

Yoongi's eyes are wide, pupils blown and focused on Namjoon like a predator that has cornered its prey. "It has?" 

Namjoon nods, and Yoongi asks, "When?"

A rich, woody musk mixed with a sweet, citrus hint that Namjoon has come to identify as Yoongi makes its way to Namjoon’s nose, and he breathes it in, letting it settle over and calm him.

Namjoon hums, pretends he’s giving it some thought, and says, “The second time I saw you. And every time after that.”

Yoongi scrapes his teeth gently over his lip ring. “The second time?”

Namjoon nods and hums, feeling his smile bloom wide. 

“Not the first time, though?” Yoongi teases. 

Namjoon shakes his head. “Nah, I was too intimidated to get a good look at you the first time.”

“And now?” Yoongi asks. 

Slowly, Yoongi reaches out and stops just before touching Namjoon’s cheek, and Namjoon can swear he feels warmth radiating from him. Namjoon doesn’t shy from the advance, and Yoongi gently brushes over the apple of Namjoon’s cheek with the backs of his fingers, sending a shiver through Namjoon that leaves him in a shattered exhale. 

Namjoon nods slowly. “Yes, and now.”

Yoongi’s fingertips trail delicately to Namjoon’s neck, over his pulse point, and gently press. Yoongi grins. “Your heart is pounding.”

Namjoon nods again.

“Because of me?”

“Yes,” Namjoon all but whispers. 

Yoongi leans in close, warm breath ghosting over Namjoon’s face, causing a fluttering in Namjoon’s tummy. Yoongi opens his mouth, possibly to speak, and his chair rolls back just enough to make him hang his head and laugh, dropping his hand from Namjoon’s neck to his shoulder. Namjoon breaks, chuckling and licking his lips while trying to wrap his head around the kiss that may have been. 

In a swift movement, Yoongi stands, sending his chair rolling away behind him, and he grabs onto Namjoon’s grey shirt and tugs on it—a silent request for Namjoon to get to his feet. Namjoon obeys and stands, and Yoongi guides him to turn and lean into the counter. 

There is no comfortable way to position himself against the edge of the countertop, and he doesn’t want to put too much weight against it, but he leans enough for his butt to meet the varnished wood and reaches for Yoongi’s white shirt to pull him close. 

Yoongi straddles one of Namjoon’s legs and opens his hands flat over his chest. At the angle Namjoon is at, he would have to lean forward to meet Yoongi's lips, so he stands tall, keeping himself just out of reach. 

“Are you gonna kiss me, then?” Yoongi grumbles, leaning closer. “Or are you gonna make me beg?” 

Namjoon gently grips onto Yoongi’s waist. “Well, now that you put it that way, hyung...” he teases. 

A deep, raspy whine comes from Yoongi, and Namjoon slides his hands up his sides and down to his hips. If that is what it sounds like when Yoongi is needy, he definitely wants to drag this out a little longer. 

“Please,” Yoongi groans, low and impatient. 

"You have the cutest moles," Namjoon says softly, trailing his gaze between Yoongi's nose and cheek, where two tiny brown spots grace his pale skin. Yoongi squints and grips Namjoon's shirt tightly with a huff. 

Namjoon can't help but feel smug as he mutters, "So pretty," reveling in how quickly Yoongi's eyes widen once more. 

"You're killing me, Joon," Yoongi whines as he leans close, resting his chin on Namjoon's chest. He bats his eyelashes and pouts, and Namjoon nearly caves.

"Joon, hmm?" Namjoon asks, raising an eyebrow at the new nickname. "Cute."

With an exasperated huff, Yoongi lets go of Namjoon's shirt, shoves at his chest, and turns to walk away. Namjoon chuckles, mutters, "Get back here," and reaches for Yoongi's wrist, tugging him to turn around and stumble into Namjoon's chest. Yoongi gasps as he twists and loses his footing, and Namjoon hardly gives him a chance to get his bearings before he leans forward, takes Yoongi's jaw delicately in his hand, and crashes their lips together. 

Yoongi lets out a confused, high-pitched hum that blends into a moan, and Namjoon smiles against his mouth before gently sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and flicking his tongue over Yoongi’s small, metal lip ring. A gasp falls from between Yoongi's lips as he flits the tip of his tongue against Namjoon’s and snakes his arms around Namjoon’s neck, pulling him close. 

Namjoon spreads his legs wide and welcoming, giving Yoongi all the room he needs, and Yoongi eagerly takes what is given, leaning into Namjoon until their chests are flush and their kiss is deep—heated and needy. He wraps his arms around Yoongi's waist and presses one hand against the small of Yoongi's back while the other glides up to gently cradle his head. 

The back and forth of licking into Yoongi's mouth, and retreating his tongue to allow Yoongi to lick into his, has Namjoon floating above the clouds. Everything is light and sweet with hints of bitter beer, and Namjoon doesn't ever want to stop kissing Yoongi now that he's begun.

When Yoongi finally does pull out of the kiss and gives a crooked smile with his swollen, spit-slicked lips, Namjoon lets out a pleased sigh and returns the smile, lost in how pretty Yoongi is and how good he feels being this close to him. Yoongi doesn't back up far enough for Namjoon to see his whole face, so Namjoon stares at his lips. 

"Correct me if I'm mistaken," Yoongi mutters in a teasing tone, "but I think you might have a crush on me, Joon."

Namjoon chuckles and squeezes his arms around Yoongi. "How could you tell?"

With a shrug, Yoongi licks over Namjoon's lips and says, "Just a hunch I have."

Namjoon parts his lips, but Yoongi doesn't advance again. Instead of diving in for another kiss, Namjoon rests his forehead against Yoongi's and closes his eyes. He breathes in Yoongi's scent and waits for him to make another move, enjoying the silence in his arms. 

"So," Yoongi says after a pause. He clears his throat and plays with Namjoon's hair, sending a shiver down his spine. "My place or yours?"

Nervousness creeps up Namjoon's throat, and he swallows it down, worrying that the flowers in his chest may begin to wilt before they've had a chance to bloom. He hates this stage of getting to know someone because it always feels like he's letting them down. But, as much as Namjoon really enjoys Yoongi's company, this is moving fast, and Namjoon doesn't do fast. 

"Oh, uh—I—uh, I don't do hookups." Namjoon winces, hating the sound of his voice and how difficult it is, suddenly, for him to speak.

A few seconds of silence hang between them, and Namjoon feels so overcome with worry that his palms begin to sweat. He opens his mouth to ramble out more of an explanation when Yoongi simply says, "I'm not looking for a hookup. I really like you, Namjoonah."

Though Yoongi's words make Namjoon happy, they do little to calm the dark cloud of worry that hangs over him, and he begins to ramble. "I like to wait until at least the third date, you know? Make sure the connection is really there. Not that I don't think you're genuine, I just, I don't know, I worry about moving too fast."

Namjoon's heart beats heavily, and despite Yoongi saying he really likes him, he can't help but worry if his old-school notion of needing to date a little more first will push him away. Yoongi takes a step back, leaving one arm still dangling over Namjoon's shoulder, and he smiles—a soft, pretty expression that soothes some of his nerves. 

"Two things," Yoongi says, lifting his index finger. "Number 1, despite inviting you to take this makeout session elsewhere, I do not only have sex on the mind. Would I dick you down in a heartbeat if you wanted that? Absolutely. Would I let you bend me over my tattoo bench if that’s what you desired? God, yes. But that is not the goal."

Namjoon opens his mouth, ready to groan about how brash Yoongi is, and Yoongi holds up a second finger as he presses both against Namjoon's lips, effectively shutting him up. 

"Which brings me to number two. I am more than happy to wait until we've gone on three dates before we do anything more. We can go on one hundred dates if that's what you need. And, if we decide to get more serious, we can continue to do anything but have sex if that's what you prefer. I just really like you, and I want more of you, and I'm not fussy about what having more of you entails."

Namjoon nods and presses a kiss against Yoongi's fingers, feeling the flowers begin to open up. He is not surprised that Yoongi is so patient and kind, but he is grateful. That alone makes him think that perhaps moving things a bit faster would be okay. 

"I don't think I'll need one hundred dates with you, hyung," Namjoon says as Yoongi frees his lips and returns his arm around his neck. Namjoon pulls Yoongi close and wraps him in a hug, resting his chin on Yoongi's shoulder. "I already feel a connection between us, but I also want to make sure we're on the same page and that we're not just rushing into things. And...well, I wasn't sure if you were interested in dating...but I was too nervous to ask."

"I respect that, Joon," Yoongi says as he nuzzles his nose against Namjoon's neck, sending a ticklish shiver through him. "I absolutely am into dating you, though, for the record."

A sigh of relief huffs between Namjoon's lips, and he hugs Yoongi close, breathing him in. Yoongi tangles his fingers into Namjoon's hair and leaves lazy kisses along his neck.

"So, two more dates, then?" Yoongi asks against Namjoon's skin.

Namjoon hums and nods his head. 

"Any chance you're free for breakfast?"

"Breakfast?" Namjoon repeats with a chuckle. He leans back just enough to catch a glimpse of Yoongi's face—flushed with a soft rosy hue. "Want to get those last two dates knocked out quickly, hyung?"

Yoongi nibbles on his bottom lip, smile fading slightly. Namjoon wonders if he's second-guessing what he's said—if he's worried Namjoon will think he's trying to move things along too quickly despite explicitly saying he needed time. 

"As a matter of fact, I am free for breakfast," Namjoon says before Yoongi has a chance to take it back. 

"It's not too soon?" Yoongi asks, confirming Namjoon's suspicions and setting butterflies aflight inside him.

Namjoon shakes his head and pulls Yoongi close, leaving a soft, reassuring peck on his lips. "We could even knock out date three tomorrow evening if you're not too busy."

Yoongi's eyes widen, and his lips tug into a grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I happen to have nothing scheduled for tomorrow."

"Good," Namjoon responds, nibbling on his bottom lip. Three dates in two days is fast. It's impulsive and lacks all the foresight Namjoon prefers to have. But Yoongi feels safe and genuine, and Namjoon decides he wants to take that chance. 

Namjoon wakes up with a smile, hugging his pillow close. Yoongi, who lives surprisingly close to Namjoon, walked him home last night and kissed him against his front door until they were exhausted and Yoongi had no choice but to go home. Namjoon had exactly enough energy to clean his tattoo and apply some of the cream that Yoongi gave him, and after that, it was a battle to keep his eyes open for the remaining five whole minutes it took to receive the text that Yoongi had gotten home. After wishing Yoongi goodnight, Namjoon wrapped his arms around his favorite pillow and fell asleep within minutes, thinking about him as he drifted off. 

Beside him, his phone dings to life with notifications, and Namjoon smiles and reaches for his phone. His smile fades somewhat when he discovers the texts aren't quite from the man he wants to hear from, but he delights in getting a chance to talk about that man a little.

Tae Tae 🎁 How was your dinner date 😉😉😉

Namjoon I think I'm in love

Tae Tae 🎁 😱😱😱 dasfhaksjfWAIT WHAT 

Namjoon can't help the wide, bright smile that tugs on his lips. Thoughts of Yoongi watching him over the dinner table and kissing him against the shop counter flood back, and Namjoon hugs his pillow tighter, nuzzling into the soft yellow fabric.

Tae Tae 🎁 I was joking! I thought you were just getting dinner and drinks casually as friends???????

Namjoon Why didn't you warn me Yoongi is such a flirt?

Tae Tae 🎁 WHAT

Namjoon From the moment we sat down to eat he was so snarky and playful.

Tae Tae 🎁 HE WHAT

Namjoon I didn't stand a chance, Tae. I'm a weak man.

Tae Tae 🎁 WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

Namjoon You okay?

Tae Tae 🎁 NO I AM NOT OKAY

Namjoon Get well soon! ❤️

Tae Tae 🎁 I'm coming over. We have THINGS to talk about. I'll bring breakfast!!!

Namjoon Sorry, Tae, can't do breakfast! I have a date this morning.

Namjoon's phone rings, shining brightly with Taehyung's face, and Namjoon chuckles and lets it go for a couple more seconds for dramatic effect. He doesn't have a chance to mutter, "Hello?" before Taehyung shouts, "I need answers!"

"Ask away," Namjoon says. 

"Start from the top. How did everything happen?"

"Well," Namjoon says, clearing his throat, "it all began when my best friend took me to this tattoo shop to watch a pretty boy stab a hole through his skin."

"You are insufferable," Taehyung interrupts with a huff. "Fast forward. Jeongguk and I left, and then what?"

Namjoon deflects. "Did you two leave intentionally?"

"I...don't know what you're talking about, hyung."

Namjoon hums. "Interesting. So when Yoongi was outside, and then Jeongguk got a mysterious text that made both of you act suspiciously moments before you made some excuse to leave...that was all a coincidence?"

Taehyung's tone is one that he gets when he's been cornered—a little lower than usual, with the words coming out muttered. "What other explanation could there be?"

"Yoongi asked you two to leave," Namjoon suggests.

"Wait, did he tell you about that?" Taehyung blurts. 

Namjoon laughs, hearty and loud, and says, "I knew it! Wow, you guys are not sneaky at all."

Taehyung mutters, "Shit," under his breath, then says, "Wait, so you and Yoongi have another date?"

Namjoon hums. "After he finished the tattoo, we went to get something to eat. He had brought donuts, but I mentioned that we only had sweets that day, so he suggested we eat a proper dinner. We had some beer and soju, and then Yoongi convinced me to go back to the shop and eat the donuts for dessert. But we, uh…never ate them."

"Wait, so at what point did it go from being a casual hang out to a date?"

"Not sure," Namjoon responds, playing everything back in his head. They flirted over dinner, and Yoongi said he liked Namjoon, but nothing was really spoken until the car ride back. 

"There was flirting over barbeque. And in the car back to the shop, he confessed that he had been asking you about me. Which, honestly, I am shocked you were able to keep a secret."

"Wow," Taehyung responds, sounding scornful.

"But then at the shop, I kissed him, and—"

"You kissed him!" Taehyung shouts. 

Namjoon hums in response, nibbling on his lip. 

"You kissed him?" Taehyung reiterates with emphasis. 

"Yup," Namjoon responds. 

"Wow. You are a changed man. I don't even know who you are anymore. Can we get lunch, then? Or will you be at your new boyfriend's house all day?"

Namjoon clears his throat and does his best to ignore the word boyfriend being thrown around. "I could do a late lunch. Just in case I get caught up at his for a while."

"I can't believe this is happening," Taehyung mutters. "The man who I said goodbye to at the shop last night is not the man I speak to today."

Namjoon's phone vibrates in his hand, and he pulls it away, noticing a notification from Yoongi. "Hey, I gotta go, Yoongi's up."

"Yah, I'm not done asking questions!" Taehyung shouts indignantly.

"There will be plenty of time for that later. I gotta go."

Namjoon hangs up on Taehyung mid-unintelligible grumble and rolls onto his back as he checks his message from Yoongi.

Yoongi 🌻 You up? I was thinking about cooking breakfast if that's something you might be interested in?

Namjoon I am up, and I am interested.

Yoongi 🌻 Hey, handsome 🙂

Joy bursts warm in Namjoon's chest—flowers bloom to life. 

Namjoon Hey, pretty 🙂

Yoongi 🌻 My house or yours?

Namjoon Yours? I don't cook much, so I might not have everything you need.

Yoongi 🌻 Sounds good. Give me 30 to shower and then head over whenever? I'll send you my address.

Namjoon Perfect.

Namjoon bursts out of bed, throwing his powder blue and pastel yellow bedding into a heap. He showers fast but thoroughly, thinking about what Yoongi might wear, and what he should wear to eat breakfast with Yoongi, and whether or not Yoongi will have his hair tied back, and what kinds of food Yoongi might want to cook for him. 

He brushes his teeth with his lips pulled into a smile, remembering how good Yoongi felt in his arms and against his lips, then he spreads cream over his sunflower tattoo, thinking about how talented and amazing Yoongi is, and towels his hair, wondering if Yoongi would like it if he styled it at all, before deciding to leave it to dry normally while he returns to his room to find an outfit. 

After some fussing over deciding if he should show up in something more formal and fitting, he feels that might be weird. So, Namjoon puts on a marigold orange short-sleeve button-up that has white rickrack daisies sewn on, leaving it unbuttoned over a tight white tee, and puts on some loose but fitted jeans, spinning in the mirror to make sure they hug his butt just right. 

It has been thirty-five minutes since Yoongi said he needed thirty minutes, and Namjoon paces around his room. He doesn't want to seem too eager, but he's sure Yoongi knows he's eager, so he wonders what there is for him to worry about. There's a voice in the back of Namjoon's mind nagging at him for taking things fast and not thinking them through, and Namjoon decidedly ignores it and thinks about Yoongi's pretty lips instead. 

And maybe things are going too fast. Maybe they are doing everything too soon. But nobody has ever made Namjoon feel the way Yoongi does, and Namjoon doesn't want to let him slip away. 

Namjoon I'm ready, hyung. Should I head over?

Yoongi doesn't respond immediately, and Namjoon continues to pace. He knows Yoongi is getting ready and does not want to overthink it, but his nerves are livewires buzzing with electricity, and he is afraid to explode.

Yoongi 🌻 Yes! I can't wait to see you! 🙂 Please hurry before I go insane!

As if Namjoon's smile could possibly get any wider, it does. To play down his excitement, he opts for teasing. 

Namjoon It's okay if you're not ready, hyung. I can wait another thirty minutes.

As soon as Namjoon hits send, he sprints into his living room, slides across the floor and nearly barrels into his front door as he bends and reaches for a pair of Nikes that match his marigold shirt. Putting them on is a precarious feat as Namjoon opts out of sitting on a flat surface and, instead, hops on one foot at a time as he slides on and ties each shoe. 

Yoongi 🌻 Namjoonah. Get here before I change my mind. 

Namjoon Wow, threatening me already on our second date. Not a good look, hyung.

Yoongi 🌻 😐

Namjoon grabs his keys from a hook beside his door and gives his apartment one last glance as if to make sure everything is turned off, despite having turned nothing on, and then locks up.

Namjoon I guess I could see what Taehyung is up to since he would never threaten me. He invited me to breakfast, but I turned him down. 

Yoongi 🌻 Turns out I only made enough hollandaise sauce for one, anyway, so have fun with Taehyung! 

The morning is cool, despite it inching closer to noon, and Namjoon sets out in the direction of Yoongi's place, checking his map app to be sure. He can't believe his luck that they live in the same neighborhood—he wonders if they've crossed paths before.

Namjoon Is that so?

A persistent buzzing in Namjoon's hand surprises him, and he realizes Yoongi is calling. He once again lets it go for a few seconds for dramatic effect before answering. 

"Have you called to threaten me some more, hyung?" Namjoon asks snarkily.

"Actually, I was hoping to guilt trip you," Yoongi responds. His voice sounds deeper than Namjoon remembers, sending a chill through him. "Or, perhaps gaslight you. Whichever gets you here faster."

Namjoon chuckles and glances up at the street sign, then takes a right.

"Wow, so many red flags, hyung!"

Yoongi hums and says, "They're yellow at best."

Namjoon smiles widely. "Good thing yellow is my favorite color, I guess."

"So you'll reconsider and come over?" Yoongi asks, sounding hopeful.

Namjoon hums dramatically as if he has to give it some serious thought. A glance at the sign at the end of the block indicates to Namjoon that he's about halfway to Yoongi's place. "Maybe. What's in it for me, again?"

It sounds like Yoongi scoffs. "Aside from my amazing company?"

Namjoon hums.

"I happen to be a great cook. And I seem to remember you liked the way I kissed you, so I was hoping to offer you some more of that."

"Food and kisses. Alright, that's a good start. What else?"

The call ends. Namjoon almost doesn't believe it until he pulls his phone from his ear to find the screen black. He laughs and shakes his head, then checks the upcoming street sign and unlocks his phone to make sure he's still going the right way. 

Before Namjoon can open his maps app, a text comes in from Yoongi. It's his face from a downward angle, and he's pouting with his pretty lower lip sticking out, metal ring prominent in the center. Yoongi could be wearing a shirt, for all Namjoon knows, but Namjoon wouldn't be able to say what color it is.

Goosebumps cover Namjoon's skin, and he nearly walks into a man coming around the corner—has to stop in his tracks and fumble backward, apologizing. The man doesn't care, but Namjoon becomes acutely aware once more of the effect Yoongi has on him, and he can't help but blush over how much the man makes him swoon.

Namjoon switches to his maps app to find that once he crosses the street, he'll be at Yoongi's apartment. His heart begins to pound, hands get a slight quake, and he takes a deep breath. Namjoon double-checks the address, then calls Yoongi back. Yoongi answers on the first ring but doesn't say anything. 

"So pretty," Namjoon says softly, grazing his teeth over his bottom lip. 

"Too bad the man I took that pretty selca for is standing me up," Yoongi grumbles.

Namjoon looks both ways and crosses the street. His pulse is so heavy in his chest as he glances up to the building to his right and confirms the address. "Is that so?" 

Yoongi hums. 

"I guess you'll just have to forget about that jerk, then," Namjoon says as he walks up the stairs to Yoongi's building. Someone comes barreling out the front door with their hands full, and Namjoon shifts to grab the door and hold it open for them, then takes the opportunity to enter the building. 

"Is that so?" Yoongi asks, and Namjoon hums. 

"How am I supposed to do that?"

Namjoon hums. "What would you like to do?"

Yoongi lives in apartment 613, so Namjoon makes his way through the mostly empty lobby, hoping that Yoongi doesn't hear any sounds that could alert him to his whereabouts. He gets to the elevator and gently holds his hand over the bottom of his phone to shield the microphone from the sounds of the elevator arriving and the doors closing. 

"I don't know," Yoongi pouts. "I was hoping to kiss this cute guy, but he's being mean, so now I have nobody to kiss."

"What a shame," Namjoon mutters sympathetically before covering the microphone once more as the elevator dings to indicate that he has made it to the sixth floor. He hears Yoongi hum with a whiny lilt, and his eyes flutter closed for just a second from how good it sounds.

"What would you do if I was at your door?" Namjoon asks, stepping off the elevator.

With a huff, Yoongi whines, "You're teasing me."

"Play along."

Yoongi hums. "I would pull you in by the collar and kiss you stupid, obviously."

"I'd like that," Namjoon responds, voice quiet and deep.

"Too bad you're not here, then, hmm?"

Namjoon grins and bites his lip. "Yes, I am."

There's a pause before Yoongi chuckles. "You're so mean today." 

"Open your door and see for yourself."

"Namjoonah," Yoongi grumbles, "you're not funny."

Namjoon lifts his hand and knocks on the door, and he can swear he hears Yoongi gasp. "Open up for me, hyung."

It's faint, but Namjoon can hear Yoongi moving through his place. Yoongi says nothing more. He opens his door and squints at Namjoon with a look of amused disbelief. His hair is down, hanging over his pretty cheeks, and Namjoon slowly lowers his hand to his side and smiles, unable to find the words as he stares at the pretty man before him. The smell of cooked onions and peppers hits Namjoon's nose, giving his mouth another reason to water. 

"Such a tease," Yoongi whines as he reaches for the collar of Namjoon's shirt and tugs him into his place. 

Namjoon allows himself to be dragged forward, and once he's in far enough to allow the door to close behind him, Yoongi promptly pushes him back against the door, closing it loudly as he crowds his space and presses their lips together. 

Yoongi's lips are soft and warm—with a small, cool strip of metal that already feels familiar—and Namjoon moans into their touch and lifts his arms to wrap around his middle and pull him close. His phone is still in his hand—still on the call, for all he knows—but Namjoon's free hand rubs up the expanse of Yoongi's back, to his neck, as he licks into Yoongi's mouth and his fingers push into his hair. 

"I missed you," Yoongi groans against Namjoon's lips. His hands are on Namjoon's neck and chest, gripping firmly.

"Missed you too, hyung."

Namjoon tastes mint on Yoongi's tongue, and he licks and sucks gently at it, pulling sweet sounds from Yoongi's throat. Yoongi feels eager to get impossibly closer, pressing Namjoon against the door as their bodies stand flush, and Namjoon pulls Yoongi toward him in an attempt to comply. 

Yoongi breaks the kiss with a smile, and Namjoon attempts to look into his eyes as he presses their foreheads together. He feels so at home in Yoongi's arms that he doesn't want to let him go.

"How was the walk here?" Yoongi asks, panting as if kissing Namjoon took every ounce of his strength.

"Aside from almost walking into traffic when I saw your selca? Not too bad."

Yoongi slaps Namjoon on the shoulder and chuckles. "You're terrible."

"But I'm here," Namjoon responds. 

Yoongi nods and closes the minuscule gap between them, connecting their lips with a moan. Namjoon wants to put away his phone, take off his shoes, and get comfortable, but he also wants to keep Yoongi in his arms, so he kisses—licks and sucks and gasps—until Yoongi pulls away once more, cheeks flushed and lips slick and kiss-pink. 

"So pretty," Namjoon mutters, lifting his hand to gently cup Yoongi's cheek so he can run his thumb over his bottom lip. 

Yoongi seems to make an attempt to compose himself as he takes a step back and clears his throat. Namjoon lets his hands fall away from Yoongi and shoves his phone into his pocket. He only now takes in the rest of Yoongi's appearance—an oversized black tee and black joggers with house slippers. He looks so cozy, Namjoon can't hold back a smile as he toes out of his shoes.

"You look so tiny and cute in your oversized clothes," Namjoon says, stepping toward Yoongi, who takes a step back. "Just wanna scoop you up and carry you around everywhere I go."

Yoongi squints and scoffs. As he cocks his head, Namjoon's eyes fall to the pretty flowers on his neck. "Do it then," Yoongi challenges. 

Namjoon grins, takes a step forward, and as he bends at the hips, he grabs the backs of Yoongi's thighs and lifts him. Yoongi gasps and wraps his arms around Namjoon's neck, and Namjoon straightens out and settles Yoongi's thighs around his hips. With a smug smile, Namjoon cranes his neck back, having to look up at Yoongi.

"I'm not small," Yoongi grumbles, and Namjoon laughs.

"You are, actually," Namjoon says as he turns and scopes out a path to Yoongi's kitchen. 

Yoongi's apartment is an open concept with the living room and kitchen divided by a wooden dining table and a marble-topped island. Everything is dark woods and brown leathers, sleek and tidy, with medium blue accent walls which have paintings of flowers and posters of old films scattered about. 

There is a large metal bowl on the otherwise vacant island, and Namjoon approaches it and leans to the side to have a look at it, tilting Yoongi in the movement—who clings to him like a koala.

"Looks like there's enough hollandaise for two," Namjoon mutters as he eyes up the yellow sauce that Yoongi left the whisk inside. 

"It's probably broken," Yoongi mutters sourly.

"I don't know what that means, but it looks fine to me."

Namjoon continues to pad through Yoongi's kitchen, looking at the ingredients that have been left on the counter. In a pan on the stove, under a clear lid, are potatoes that appear to be cubed and cooked with onions, peppers, and other colorful things. Yoongi rests his cheek on Namjoon's shoulder, breathing warm air on his neck. 

"What's left to cook, hyung?"

Yoongi nuzzles his nose against Namjoon's neck, just below his ear, sending a shiver through him. "I began to braise short ribs last night. I just need to heat that, warm some english muffins, and poach some eggs."

With a dramatic sigh, Namjoon grumbles. "Sounds too complicated for me to do, so I guess I'll have to put you down."

Yoongi hums. "Darn."

Namjoon returns to the island and sets Yoongi atop it beside his bowl of sauce. Yoongi pushes Namjoon petulantly against the chest, forcing him to stumble back with a chuckle, and he hops down and goes to work in the kitchen, pulling a container from a very tidy refrigerator that appears to store the aforementioned braised short ribs. Namjoon uses his palms to lift himself and hop up onto the island where he had set Yoongi, and he watches Yoongi get to work warming everything and starting water to poach eggs. 

Sitting on Yoongi's counter while he finishes preparing breakfast sets Namjoon at ease in a way he's never experienced. For starters, nobody has ever cooked something that has appeared so intricate before. Just knowing Yoongi began to braise the short ribs last night makes him lightheaded with affection. 

Yoongi seems to have an ah-ha moment and turns on the balls of his feet. He grabs the bottom of Namjoon's pants and rolls it up, cocking his head to get a look at his handy work. A smile tugs at Yoongi's lips, warming Namjoon's heart.

"Looks good, sun seeker," Yoongi mutters. 

"Of course it does, hyung. You're amazing."

Yoongi's fingers hover over Namjoon's jeans, where the pant leg is rolled into a cuff several inches from his ankle. He looks up at Namjoon with a soft smile, then stands straight and gets back to work. 

It's not long before Yoongi is setting his and Namjoon's places at a table with braised short rib eggs benedicts, breakfast potatoes and kimchi. Namjoon busies himself with opening drawers and cabinets for silverware and glasses. 

"Grab two glasses for water and two champagne flutes, please," Yoongi says as he leans into the refrigerator. 

"Champagne flutes?"

Yoongi stands holding champagne in one hand and orange juice in the other. He grins—gums showing and eyes twinkling—and for a moment, all of Namjoon's brain function screeches to a halt. He still cannot fathom how pretty Yoongi is, much less the fact that he is standing in his kitchen. 

"You sure have a staring problem," Yoongi says in a mock disgusted tone.

"Sorry I find you so attractive," Namjoon responds with a grimace and a roll of his eyes. He continues to search Yoongi's cabinet for glasses, finding champagne flutes on a high shelf. 

Namjoon finishes setting the table, Yoongi pours them water and mixes mimosas, and then they sit to eat. Everything tastes so good, Namjoon malfunctions and needs a moment to sit back in his seat and stare at his plate. He questions whether Yoongi is simply good at everything—wonders what else he can do—and then silently chastises himself for letting his mind wander to Yoongi's talented fingers and pretty pale skin, attempting to stop his thoughts before they get too carried away. 

"You hate it," Yoongi grumbles. 

Namjoon shakes his head and blinks away the image of Yoongi sprawled out naked on his granite countertop. "I definitely do not hate it, hyung. I was just lost in thought."

"Oh?"

A glance at Yoongi's smirk sends warmth to Namjoon's cheeks, and he cuts off a large piece of egg, meat and bread and shoves it quickly into his mouth.

Yoongi cocks an eyebrow. "Lost in thought about...?"

"You," Namjoon mutters with a mouthful of food, making Yoongi chuckle.

For the rest of breakfast, Namjoon does his best to avoid Yoongi's gaze and eat his food. But as he drinks his mimosa—which Yoongi continues to fill—he finds it harder and harder not to sneak glances. Yoongi tucks his hair behind his ears, and despite it being such a small thing, Namjoon finds it impossible not to adore the centimeters of skin now visible. 

With a belly full of food and a head full of Yoongi, Namjoon leans his elbows against the table and cradles his chin in his hands. Yoongi clears the dishes and returns, leaning against the table beside Namjoon with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"How was date number two?" Yoongi asks with a shy smile and glazed-over eyes.

"Was? It's not over yet, hyung."

"Oh?"

Namjoon scoots back in his chair, far enough from the table to make room for another body, and pats his thigh. "Come here and kiss me."

Yoongi's mouth falls open, and he complies—stands slowly and takes the two steps between them, then sits on Namjoon's lap with his legs hanging over the sides of the wooden chair. Yoongi's arms drape over Namjoon's shoulders, and Namjoon grabs Yoongi's ass and scoots him higher onto his legs, making Yoongi gasp.

"Careful pulling me too close," Yoongi grumbles as he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against Namjoon's. "I'm wearing sweatpants."

At the veiled mention of Yoongi's cock, Namjoon feels blood rush to his. He considers saying to hell with his three-date rule and carrying Yoongi to his room, but the anticipation is so satisfying, he stays strong and reminds himself that their third date will be taking place later in the evening, anyway. 

"Now who's the tease," Namjoon mutters as his hands rub up and down Yoongi's sides and back.

"Can't help myself," Yoongi responds as he licks over Namjoon's lips with kimchi and orange juice on his breath. "But I want to respect your boundaries, so you deserve a warning."

Namjoon feels warm and fuzzy, and he moves his hands back down to Yoongi's ass and lifts him as he stands from the chair. Yoongi wraps around Namjoon tight, and Namjoon walks them to a large brown leather couch, then bends, laying Yoongi on his back.

"You're cute, hyung," Namjoon mutters as he settles between Yoongi's legs and hovers over him.

A pretty blush covers Yoongi's cheeks, and he stares up at Namjoon with wide, curious eyes. His arms lift above his head, and Namjoon imagines grabbing onto his wrists and holding him in place against the arm of the couch. 

"What if I want to feel the effects I have on you?" Namjoon asks as he leans down and slots their lips together. 

Yoongi gasps and allows Namjoon to suck and lick at his mouth as he pleases, holding it open. Namjoon smiles against Yoongi's lips, loving the way he feels, but he can't help but wonder what has him so pliant beneath him.

"Unless you don't want me to," Namjoon continues. 

"You wanna make me hard and force me to rub one out as soon as you leave?" Yoongi mutters against Namjoon's lips, making him chuckle.

After a hum, Namjoon says, "I like the thought of you jerking off while thinking about me, so I won't say no."

Yoongi's arms snake beneath Namjoon's, and he grabs Namjoon by the ass and pulls him down as he rolls his hips up, grazing the semi-hard bulge in Namjoon's jeans with a bulge of his own. Pleasure bursts through Namjoon, and he lets out a deep moan, watching in delight as Yoongi's face warps with pleasure. 

"And are you going to walk home with a boner?" Yoongi teases. 

"At this stage, I have no choice," Namjoon responds with a downward roll of his hips, grazing their cocks, and causing them to groan in tandem.

Namjoon kisses Yoongi's lips, down to his chin and jaw, and over to the flowers on his neck—each time pulling tiny sounds from Yoongi's mouth that cause warmth to spread over him. Yoongi slides his hands into Namjoon's back pockets and gives his ass a firm squeeze, and Namjoon huffs a ragged breath against Yoongi's skin that breaks out into goosebumps. 

"What's off limits?" Yoongi whines as he rolls his hips up once more. 

Panic surges through Namjoon—he truly does not know, at this point, what he might consider off limits. Prior to meeting Yoongi, many things were off limits that now seem like no big deal. Namjoon continues to kiss Yoongi's neck and hums to show he's giving it some thought.

"I don't know anymore," Namjoon finally admits. "I've never wanted someone this badly before."

"That can't be true," Yoongi whines, breathy and sweet.

"It is," Namjoon responds softly. "I've liked people before, but it has always been a steady build. Never this intense. I already find myself worrying about how badly I might lose my mind if I don't see you again."

There's a sweet lilt to Yoongi's tone as he says, "You have me," and Namjoon drops his weight down, engulfs Yoongi and holds him close. 

Yoongi grunts under Namjoon's weight but holds him close—runs his hands up Namjoon's back and wraps his legs around his calves. Namjoon wants to calm his mind, but the proximity of their erections is at the forefront of his thoughts. He does his best to ignore that fact—does everything in his power not to let his hips rock, roll, twitch, or move in any other way. 

"I can't keep my hands off of you," Namjoon whines against Yoongi's neck, lips betraying his thoughts the moment he finishes thinking them.

Yoongi tilts his head into Namjoon, breathes warm sticky breath against Namjoon's ear and neck and whispers, "Touch me, then," and Namjoon's cock twitches, causing his hips to jerk. Yoongi gasps, digs his fingers into Namjoon's ribs and trembles beneath him. 

"S-sorry," Namjoon mutters, and Yoongi chuckles softly and whispers, "I like it."

Namjoon feels strange and perhaps a bit embarrassed, wondering what the hell he is doing, lying fully clothed on top of Yoongi on his couch. Warmth radiates between them, only enhanced by the leather beneath them, and Namjoon feels like, if he doesn't move soon, he might quite literally suffocate. And he is doing his best not to spiral and get up and back away and have a mental breakdown, but he is struggling—grounded only by the sweet musk and citrus of Yoongi's skin and hair. 

As if Yoongi can sense Namjoon's anxiety, he loosens his grip and strokes his palms up and down Namjoon's sides, snaking them under the over shirt and rubbing over the thin tee. Namjoon rolls his face away from Yoongi's neck, leans his forehead into his shoulder and lets out a deep breath. 

"Sorry, I just...I feel anxious," Namjoon admits. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Yoongi asks sweetly, calmly. 

Namjoon hums and pecks at Yoongi's shoulder, lips dragging over his black cotton shirt. "My body wants two things, and I can't reconcile them."

"What's the first?"

A huff of air leaves Namjoon's nose—a nervous burst that is meant to disguise as laughter. "The first is that I want to jump off this couch and run as far away as I can to get my head clear."

Yoongi chuckles and continues to gently rub Namjoon's sides, shifting the fabric up and down with each movement. "And the second?"

Namjoon turns his face back into Yoongi's neck and drags his lips over his skin. "I want to pull your clothes off and worship you."

A gasp punches through Yoongi, and his fingertips dig into Namjoon's sides. Namjoon nips at Yoongi's neck, forcing sweet, low whimpers from his lips. 

"S-surely we could find a compromise," Yoongi groans, breathy and affected. Or, Namjoon reasons, crushed under his weight.

Namjoon bends at the knees enough to lift his hips and stomach, giving Yoongi room to breathe, keeping his lips against his neck. "What do you recommend, hyung?"

"Kiss me," Yoongi whines. 

With another drag of Namjoon's leg to get into a more comfortable, less crushing position, Namjoon manages to rub his ankle against the couch and pain surges through him, causing his body to seize. 

"Oh, fuck," Namjoon winces and sits up. 

Yoongi searches his face, brows knit with concern, and Namjoon begins to laugh, feeling foolish, muttering, "Scraped my tattoo on the couch."

"Sit up and I'll get back on your lap," Yoongi suggests as he wiggles into a seated position, pulling his legs from around Namjoon. 

Namjoon struggles to figure out what he was thinking, laying Yoongi down and getting on top of him. He feels silly as he sits back, suddenly cold from the loss of Yoongi's proximity. Yoongi stands before him and leans down, caging Namjoon's head with his arms as his hands grip onto the back of the couch. 

"We can stop," Yoongi suggests. It's an innocent enough statement, but Namjoon can't quite sort out how to interpret it, and he wonders if Yoongi wants to stop everything altogether and never see him again. 

"I'm sorry if I'm annoying you," Namjoon mutters before he can control himself. 

Yoongi slowly straddles Namjoon's legs, sitting gently and carefully as if, at any moment, Namjoon could tell him to stop and move away, and he would do exactly that. But Namjoon does not want Yoongi to stop or move away, and he lifts his hands to settle them over Yoongi's hips and assure him that his advances are welcome.

"What do you do when you feel anxious?" Yoongi asks, eyes searching between Namjoon's. 

Run away, Namjoon thinks. Avoid and ignore and avoid some more. 

Namjoon swallows a lump in his throat and lets out a deep breath. Perhaps champagne was a bad idea. He should have known he would get too handsy in Yoongi's apartment, on Yoongi's couch. He should have known he would smother and suffocate until Yoongi begged him to get out. 

"Take a walk," Namjoon says. "Create space and try to think."

"Do you want to leave?" Yoongi asks softly. And Namjoon knows that Yoongi is not telling him he has to leave, but there is a part of him that wonders if that is what Yoongi wants. He wishes he could stop spiraling. 

"No," Namjoon mutters, feeling weak. 

Yoongi leans forward and gives Namjoon a soft, warm kiss on the cheek. "Good. I don't want you to leave."

Relief washes over Namjoon, and he is so emotionally torn in every direction, he feels like he could cry. 

"I don't have a great track record with relationships," Namjoon admits, dropping his eyes to a spot on Yoongi's shirt, letting his gaze unfocus on the black nothing. "I get attached too quickly, and then, when it doesn't work out, I'm devastated. Over and over, always the same."

Fingertips graze over Namjoon's cheek, and he instinctively leans into the touch. "I'm the same way," Yoongi says with a hint of bitterness to his tone. With a scoff, he continues, "I had actually sworn off dating and started to bury myself in my work. And then you came along and ruined my plans, Namjoonah."

"I'm great at ruining things," Namjoon responds in an attempt to bring levity to the exchange, but his tone is too serious. 

"So I guess we'll both get too attached and break each other's hearts then," Yoongi mutters. 

Namjoon sighs. He appreciates Yoongi's calm yet straightforward responses. And although he wonders with all his heart if this could be different—if Yoongi could be the one to break the endless cycle of frustration—he worries that Yoongi could also be the one who breaks him the hardest and makes him hurt the most. 

"This is not how I wanted this date to go," Namjoon laments, still refusing to look Yoongi in the eye. 

"If it's any consolation, knowing what worries you is important to me," Yoongi responds. "Knowing we have the same fear and share a similar history gives me insight into how much communication and reassurance you may need. And, for the record, I will need the same."

Namjoon lets his head fall back against the couch, no longer capable of looking at anything but Yoongi's kind, pretty face. "It scares me how you always say exactly the right thing."

With a playful, devious flash of his eyes, Yoongi says, "Afraid I'm reading your mind and saying only the exact right things to ensnare you further so I can break your heart?"

"Worse," Namjoon responds as his hands rub up Yoongi's hips, below his shirt, fingertips grazing over bare skin. "Afraid you really are this perfect and that, in the end, you'll be the most devastating of all."

"Wow, Joonah. I never knew you could be so emo."

Laughter rocks through Namjoon's chest before he can stop himself; he feels lightheaded. "I assure you, hyung, I only get worse."

More silence settles between them, but Namjoon feels comfortable, finally. Yoongi's skin is soft and warm beneath his touch, and now that he has voiced his worries, they don't feel quite so heavy. Yoongi smiles softly, and Namjoon studies his face. Light, soft skin, dark, sharp eyes, hints of metal and round, pouty lips. 

"I guess if we're equally scared, we may as well take the plunge together," Namjoon finally says, feeling somewhat resolved. 

"Prolong the pain so it will only hurt worse later," Yoongi teases as he sits forward and crowds Namjoon's space. 

Namjoon chuckles, and although a terrifying swirl of nausea hits him, all he wants to think about is capturing Yoongi's lips with his and kissing him until he unravels. "Exactly," he mutters, inches from Yoongi's mouth. 

"So, for our third date tonight..." Yoongi begins, sucking Namjoon's bottom lip between his teeth instead of finishing his thought.

Namjoon hums and pulls Yoongi closer, in no rush to hear what he wants to say; he'll say it when he says it. Yoongi swirls his tongue over Namjoon's lip and releases it with a sigh. 

"Jeonggukie wants us to join him and Taehyungie at some club." 

Namjoon chuckles and takes his time, this time, sucking Yoongi's lip between his and forcing a groan from Yoongi's throat. Yoongi seems to melt in Namjoon's arms, slumping forward into his touch and falling pliant. Namjoon's mind spins, wondering what their dynamic might be in bed—whether Yoongi would want to be more in control or less—and he pulls Yoongi impossibly closer, licks into his mouth, tasting remnants of their meal. 

"I'm down," Namjoon mutters against Yoongi's lips. He moves away just enough to kiss Yoongi's chin and jaw. "We can go, have a drink or two, and if we hate it, dip. I don't care. Just want to be with you." 

"They're going to want to ask us invasive questions," Yoongi poses as an argument. 

Namjoon hums. "True, but I don't have anything to hide from Taehyungie. I'm not worried about what you tell Jeonggukie. In fact, I promised Tae lunch after this, so I could get all of the invasive questions out of the way ahead of time."

Yoongi is so responsive to Namjoon's touch, gently rolling his hips and craning his neck, pawing at Namjoon with his fingers and palms. Namjoon nips at his jaw, and Yoongi hisses and tilts his head to force Namjoon's lips back to his. 

"You would do that for me?" Yoongi asks against Namjoon's lips. 

Namjoon grins and lets Yoongi use his mouth—kissing, sucking and licking as he moans and groans and hums. Namjoon's hands slide up Yoongi's back, to his shoulder blades and down—soft and smooth and warm, and Yoongi's lips move along Namjoon's jaw, sending sparks through him. 

"I'm starting to think I would do anything for you," Namjoon mutters, allowing his eyes to flutter closed as Yoongi's lips and teeth find more sensitive spots to nip and kiss.

"That's dangerous, Joonah," Yoongi groans against Namjoon's neck. "Telling me that will only make me need you more."

"Good. Need me. Prolong our inevitable downfall for as long as possible by needing me."

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. He sits back and stares down at Namjoon, who can do nothing but smile back at him as his fingertips dance over his ribs. 

"So, tonight with the boys," Yoongi asks with an eyebrow cocked. "And then afterward..."

Warmth floods Namjoon's cheeks at the thoughts of what could transpire between them. With the knowledge that Yoongi has the same fears, Namjoon feels more comfortable moving things along quicker than he would in the past. Yoongi doesn't seem like the type to hook up and fuck off, and Namjoon doesn't want to wait any longer to take things further. Perhaps, Namjoon thinks, Yoongi is the sun that he seeks—warm and bright and secure.

"My place or yours?" Namjoon asks, and Yoongi grins. 

just 1 part left! it’ll be steamy, so get excited! this is the outfit namjoon wore to date 2.

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It was six years ago, when Yoongi was just a quiet loner and Namjoon just an introverted nerd, that the two had first met.

Yoongi remembered it better than he should have - a consequence of the fact that everything he felt for Namjoon was more than he should have felt for someone who was just a friend. Every detail, every word, stuck in his mind for him to recount to himself whenever he thought for long periods of time about Namjoon, which happened to be a lot.

At the time, Yoongi’s only friend other than the stray cat he fed on the route to school was the piano in the music room there. Old, normally covered in dust, scratches covering the wood of its outside, it certainly wasn’t the prettiest piano there was, but to Yoongi, it was everything.

That afternoon was spent like so many others in Yoongi’s life: practicing music on the piano for as long as he could before he inevitably had to bury himself in schoolwork for the rest of the night. Music was his relief, and he was pretty good at it, too, owing to his hours spent working on his skills.

Usually, no one interrupted him by entering the room, and the few times that anyone did, they quickly left upon seeing his cold glare. It wasn’t exactly Yoongi’s intention to be cruel – he simply had no interest in talking to any of them, and clearly none of them wanted to talk to him, either, so why let them disrupt his peace any longer than they had to?

But Yoongi could tell from the moment that Kim Namjoon stepped through the door that he was different. A good sort of different, the sort that made Yoongi interested . 

In his arms was a far-too-high pile of textbooks threatening to fall over at any moment onto the ground next to his shoes whose laces were tied tight and neat, a head of dyed-blonde hair brushed pristinely save for a few loose strands over his forehead. His uniform fit him well, and he was easily at least 5 centimeters taller than Yoongi.

His eyes didn’t hold the normal confusion or even irritation Yoongi normally saw in the students who encountered him here; rather, he seemed curious, intrigued, like he wanted to see more, a light smile on his face. Yoongi let his fingers come to a rest on the keys, staring at Namjoon with a neutral expression, waiting for whatever would happen next.

And Yoongi tried not to make it the first thing he focused on, he really did, but with his tall stature and the dimples at the side of his plump lips, it was impossible to deny that the boy really was handsome.

“I, um…I heard music in here, so I decided to check it out. That was you, right?” Namjoon said, staring right back at Yoongi, as if cautious of the other boy. Yoongi honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he had built up some sort of reputation for being aggressive, but for some reason he didn’t want to drive away the boy standing in front of him.

So, in what was pretty much a historical first for him, Yoongi greeted Namjoon with a smile. “Yep, that’d be me.”

It was only when Namjoon’s body relaxed and his smile became easier that Yoongi realized Namjoon had been tense, his expression a bit hesitant. Now, he looked much more comfortable, and somehow Yoongi felt better knowing that.

“You’re really good at that. The piano, I mean. It sounds…pretty. How long have you played for?” Namjoon asked, taking a few steps closer to Yoongi.

“Hmm…my whole life, I guess. As long as I can remember, at least,” Yoongi shrugged, but internally he felt a sense of pride about it.

“Wow, that’s a while! No wonder you’re so good, then. Probably should have guessed,” Namjoon chuckled, eyes wide. The book at the top of the pile fell from the movement, and quickly Namjoon scrambled to pick it back up, expression turning to panic. Which, of course, only made all the rest of the books fall too. 

As Namjoon tried and failed to balance several books in his grasp while still picking up the others, Yoongi’s body acted on its own, standing up from the stool he had been sitting on and crouching down next to the boy to pick up the last few textbooks.

Yoongi was about to mentally curse himself for acting out of pure instinct, something he intentionally never did, but the way Namjoon smiled at him then shut his mind up completely. 

“Thank you,” Namjoon said, standing back up, wobbling a bit to keep himself from falling over from the weight of his pile. Yoongi just shrugged with a small smile in response. “So, who are you, anyways, piano prodigy boy?”

“Name’s Min Yoongi. I’m 16. How about you, music room invasion boy?”

“I’m Kim Namjoon, 15 years old. Nice to meet you, Yoongi. Though, I thought that you would be younger than me, since, you know…” Namjoon gestured vaguely towards Yoongi’s legs, and immediately Yoongi knew what he was talking about. He smacked Namjoon lightly on the arm with a snort.

“Yah, I'm not short! I’m average height! You’re just really tall,”

“Sorry about that, then, average height Min Yoongi-ssi,” Namjoon smirked playfully.

“Dork. And call me Min Yoongi- hyung ,” Yoongi shook his head, smile wider than ever.

“Alright then, Yoongi-hyung. Want to be friends?”

Yoongi felt his eyes widen. Someone was offering to be his friend…no, not just offering, they actually wanted to be his friend - for the first time in years . He was only half-sure he wasn’t dreaming at the moment. 

“Ah, really, ye- ” Yoongi cleared his throat, stopping himself in the worry that he might be too enthusiastic. “I mean, uhh, sure! That would be nice. I guess.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Well, I have to go about now. ‘Spose I’ll just meet you here again tomorrow, then.”

And meet Yoongi again tomorrow he did. As well as the next day, and the next. 

Yoongi was right about Namjoon. He was different, the good different. He was funny and caring and an absolute genius, spouting random trivia to Yoongi any chance he got, eyes always lighting up whenever Yoongi would sit back and listen to him talk about his passions. Soon enough the piano was barely used whenever Yoongi visited the music room - the primary purpose of him going there now was to meet with Namjoon in a place that was sort of their own. They became each other’s best friends, more confidential with each other than they were with anyone else.

Every day, they got closer. And every day, Namjoon seemed to get more beautiful to him.

As it turned out, piano was Yoongi’s first love, and Namjoon was his second.

•

“Yoongi-hyung, you remembered to get us some popcorn, right?” Namjoon questioned the moment Yoongi walked through the door – this week it was his turn to buy their groceries – to which Yoongi just smiled, pulling out the box of microwavable popcorn he had bought. He could never forget the popcorn. Or, more accurately, Namjoon would never let him forget the popcorn.

“Extra butter?” Namjoon peered at the box closer, trying to answer his own question.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yoongi slung the box onto the table next to Namjoon. “Decided to get you a treat this time. We can’t always have it, though, it’s seriously unhealthy.”

“I know, hyung. I like it though,” Namjoon threw Yoongi a fake pout that Yoongi just smiled at before the younger man eagerly opened the box, taking out a packet of his favorite movie-time snack and putting it in the microwave.

Six years after they had first met, now the two of them were roommates, had been for a few years now at this point. Yoongi was 22 and Namjoon was 21, and in all the time that’s passed, Yoongi’s feelings for Namjoon had only grown stronger.

The demanding schedule of college left little time for them to spend with each other outside of simply doing their coursework in the same room, but they did all they could with the time they did have. And that was why the two of them were doing what they were doing right now - their weekly Friday movie night. 

This week, like most weeks, they were going to watch some historical-themed movie that Yoongi had already forgotten the name of, since historical movies were Namjoon’s favorites and Yoongi never had the heart to tell him that the genre bored him. He would never want to see that spark in Namjoon’s eyes when Yoongi agreed to his movie picks disappear, so he just went along with it.

The movies themselves were never his favorite part of their movie nights, anyways. Namjoon was.

After ten minutes, seven of which were spent cleaning up the popcorn kernels that spilled on the floor when Namjoon accidentally dropped the hot popcorn packet after opening it and then heating up another bag, the two of them ended up sitting on the couch next to each other, the title sequence beginning to play.

This part was what Yoongi liked. Him and Namjoon, close together, sharing a bowl of popcorn between them. The word domestic had popped into his head once to describe it, the thought immediately putting a smile on his face. Thankfully, Namjoon had just thought he was smiling at one of the jokes in the movie at the time. 

He paid a bit of attention to the movie in case Namjoon wanted to discuss it at some point, which Namjoon usually did, but most of his mind was focused on Namjoon.

Namjoon’s shoulder right next to his. His hand brushing against Yoongi’s. Their legs bumping together occasionally under the blanket they shared since Namjoon often got cold if he sat in one place for too long.

Small things. They were all small things. But to Yoongi, each touch added more fuel to the warmth in his heart, each time Namjoon giggled at a scene next to him sending a rush of dopamine through his brain. 

The little physical contact they made always had Yoongi happy. Content. Hopeful even, sometimes.

Abruptly, he felt the weight of Namjoon’s head drop onto his shoulder, his hair tickling the side of Yoongi’s neck. Dropping his eyes, Yoongi saw a scene that always seemed just as beautiful as the first time he had seen it – Namjoon’s peaceful sleeping face, eyes closed and soft snores escaping a slight pout every few seconds. He allowed himself to smile then, brushing Namjoon’s hair away from his forehead and observing him for a few moments.

He really had no idea how anyone could be so handsome yet so adorable at the same time.

As much as Yoongi was tempted to gaze just a bit longer, it was becoming a difficult task to keep his own eyes open now. It was late, the movie only a few minutes away from its end. With a yawn, Yoongi let his head droop to the left towards Namjoon, holding the boy just a bit closer before he drifted off to sleep as well.

•

Namjoon was hiding something from him.

A few days after their movie night, as they sat down having dinner together, that’s what Yoongi concluded. He wasn’t sure what that something was, but he knew that it existed – the way Namjoon tapped his fingers against the table like he always did when he was nervous and spent more time shoving tteokbokki around his bowl with his chopsticks than he did eating it was enough for Yoongi to know that something was up.

More specifically, from the way Namjoon looked up at Yoongi like he was about to say something but then looked down a total of four times just in this one meal, Yoongi guessed Namjoon wanted to ask him a question, but was hesitant to do so. And Yoongi wasn’t just about to let Namjoon suffer from whatever was going on in silence, so he decided if Namjoon wouldn’t speak up, he would do it for him.

“Something bothering you, Joon?” Yoongi said before shoving another piece of tteokbokki in his mouth, trying to keep it casual. Namjoon looked up at him, blinking, not having expected Yoongi to catch on to the fact that something was off. He never did.

“Ah, um, no, hyung. Everything’s fine. Just sort of tired from my classes today,” Namjoon responded with a nervous laugh. Yoongi raised an eyebrow at him.

Namjoon was an awful liar, unable to control his body language for the life of him. Plus, he was never this fidgety when he was tired, usually acting more like a pile of goop than a functioning human if he was lacking sleep.

Yoongi looked him in the eyes with a sigh, putting down his chopsticks and resting his head on his hand, paying full attention to Namjoon. “Joon-ah, tell me what’s wrong. It’s me. You know I’d never judge you.”

After another moment of eye contact, Namjoon finally took in a deep breath, nodding slightly. “You know Kim Seokjin, right?”

“Yeah, I have a class with him and the two of us were paired for a project together once, so I know him a decent amount, I guess. Why?”

“Well…ah, I’m only asking this because you’re my best friend and I know you won’t make fun of me like you said, okay? I’m serious, don’t tell anybody!” Namjoon exclaimed, his fidgeting ceasing for a moment as he gripped the table, staring at Yoongi intensely.

A solid quarter of Yoongi’s brain was occupied with thoughts of how cute Namjoon looked at the moment, but he smiled at Namjoon, doing his best to focus that attention back towards his friend’s words – he was curious about what he had to say, after all.

“I promise I won’t,” Yoongi said, and some of the nervousness slipped out of Namjoon’s eyes. 

Namjoon’s next words were quick, loud, and completely and utterly devastating. 

“I want to date him and I need your help!”

The wave of shock that crashed over Yoongi then was cold and sudden, no time for his brain to even try to grasp for any explanation other than the truth. Because the realization of what was happening was obvious, painfully so.

Namjoon liked someone. Namjoon wanted to date someone. And it wasn’t him.

His mind couldn’t even begin to process how to feel yet, and he supposed some of that showed on his face, since Namjoon seemed to interpret his expression as one of confusion.

“Since…you know him, you know? Better than I know him so far. So I thought that you’d be the best person to ask,” Namjoon continued, looking at Yoongi pleadingly. Yoongi just nodded in response, both because he didn’t know what to say and even if it did, his mouth wasn’t cooperating with his brain at all right now.

Sadness washed over him in the next few seconds, taking over the puzzlement in his mind. Namjoon, his best friend, the man he had had a crush on for years, didn’t like him back. Not only that, he liked someone else.

He had always tried preparing himself for this scenario, had always known in the back of his mind that it would have to happen someday, but it still hurt. The sting only made it harder to wade through the mountains of thoughts in his head all fighting for the top spot.

But instead of listening to any of them, Yoongi did his best to put a smile on his face and hoped to whatever stupid cursed love deity that might exist that Namjoon wouldn’t be able to tell that it was fake. 

“‘Course I’ll help you, Joon! Anything to make you happy. I bet it’ll be fun to plan everything together!” 

Every word made the hurt more intense, every breath like shoving a knife further and further into his heart. He did mean part of it, though.

Anything to make Namjoon happy.

Because at the end of the day, as much as he craved Namjoon’s touch and his hugs and wanted them to be something more, Yoongi cared for Namjoon more than he cared about himself. And so if what made Namjoon happy made Yoongi suffer, so be it.

Anything to put a smile on his face.

“Really, hyung?” Namjoon’s eyes immediately lit up, the anxiety on his face fading away as he looked up at Yoongi, deep dimples appearing. “Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me, I’ll make it up to you, I swear!”

Yoongi felt like he was dying inside, both from the guilt of feeling so selfish wanting Namjoon all for himself and from the reality he had to face knowing he’d never get that.

“No problem,” he said, forcing the smile on his face to get just a bit wider.

Namjoon continued to insist that he’d pay Yoongi back somehow, and at some point Yoongi stopped arguing. Because it was true, really, that it was a problem. A big problem.

Just not for the reasons Namjoon thought. 

•

Yoongi couldn’t get himself to stop staring at Kim Seokjin for the entirety of the communications class they shared the next day. He had never really paid much attention to the young man before other than when they had worked on that project together, but he did know some things about him. And that made it hurt all the more to know Namjoon liked him.

Because though he hated admitting it, he could understand why Namjoon felt the way he did. Seokjin was clearly handsome with his perfect, symmetrical face and impossibly broad shoulders. He had seemed nice enough when Yoongi interacted with him. He was pretty funny, too, or at least he tried to be, always doing his best to cheer people up. 

He was, essentially, everything Yoongi had always felt he was not.

It made sense, and no matter how hard he tried Yoongi found himself unable to get over that fact.

Why had Namjoon never liked him instead?

Yoongi tapped his pen against his notebook, bringing himself out of his thoughts. He should be focusing on taking notes on the lecture right now. His boy problems could wait for later.

Unfortunately, the logical part of him that wanted to focus on studies wasn’t nearly as strong as the part of him that was having those boy problems. He flicked his eyes between the professor and his notes, willing his gaze not to move towards Kim Seokjin again.

As he scratched his pen onto paper, scrambling to write down all the most important points so he wouldn’t be completely screwed on their next exam (though Namjoon would surely help him study for it anyways), his mind kept going. And going. And going.

Why couldn’t he be so attractive or have such good humor?

Kim Seokjin had no idea how lucky he was.

Yoongi found himself scowling down at his notes, digging a hand into his hair, desperate to dig those thoughts out of his head. He couldn’t focus like this. Shut up, he willed into his brain, hoping that his train of thought gone rogue would listen.

It didn’t.

Why had Namjoon never noticed just how much Yoongi liked him?

A light poke on his left shoulder was what finally freed him from the mental hole he had gotten himself trapped in. Yoongi looked up, blinking slowly, to see another classmate of his he vaguely recognized, a couple years Yoongi’s junior with a shy smile, wide eyes, and a head of fluffy black hair covering the tops of his eyebrows. They had sat near each other a few times. Yoongi had helped him write the introduction to a report once. And that was all the interaction they had ever had. Jungkook, Yoongi was pretty sure his name was.

“You alright?” Jungkook whispered, eyes scrunched up in concern.

Yoongi took a deep breath. He should have realized he probably looked weird to everyone around him. Nodding his head, he muttered back, “Yeah. Just…sorta stressed about some personal matters. That’s all.”

Jungkook nodded back, giving Yoongi a comforting pat on his shoulder again before turning towards the professor, hastily adding to his own notes.

Jungkook helped more than he knew by pulling Yoongi out of his thoughts. He couldn’t be bitter towards Kim Seokjin. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t know. And Yoongi couldn’t change how things were going, so he couldn’t be jealous of Seokjin either.

If Seokjin was going to be the man that made Namjoon happy, Yoongi just had to accept that, no matter how much it tore his heart apart.

•

It was only three days into their plan and Yoongi already wished he had never agreed. He wished he wasn’t such a coward. He wished he had the balls to actually tell Namjoon how he felt instead of concocting some stupid project to get Namjoon with someone else.

Alas, Yoongi did not, in fact, have the balls to do that. So here he was, sitting beside Namjoon at the table, wishing he could burn a hole with his eyes into the section of a notebook the two of them had dedicated to the task they were working on.

That task being one of their brainstorming sessions on how exactly Namjoon was going to ask Seokjin out. With Namjoon’s anxiety over things going well and Yoongi’s undying perfectionism, the two of them had come up with (and subsequently dismissed) well over two dozen ideas at this point, some of them partially-developed and some of them just wisps of a plan. Some of them barely differed from each other, only containing slight improvements to an already-neglected proposal, and some of them were radically different.

The only thing all of them had in common was that talking about them made Yoongi want to hole himself up in his room and cry. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t an option for him.

The closer the two of them got to developing a plan that had a good chance of succeeding, the happier Namjoon got. The more his eyes brightened and his dimples deepened as he smiled. The more he thanked Yoongi for both his help and his company.

And Yoongi wasn’t willing to give any of that up. Which is why when in the middle of their third brainstorming session Namjoon asked him a question that wasn’t related to their current attempt at a strategy, it was a welcome relief to what he had been subjecting himself to.

“Do you like anyone, Yoongi-hyung?” Namjoon looked up at him curiously, resting his chin on one hand, the other laying on the table, loosely clutching the pen he had been using. Yoongi, caught off guard seeing as he had been sipping on a half-cold cup of coffee during the lull in their conversation, spit out a bit of his drink, quickly pulling an arm over his face to keep the rest of it from drenching the paper in front of him and quite literally ruining their plan – not that he would be opposed to that, the part of him which still hadn’t gotten over his jealousy whispered in the back of his mind.

The almost-choking-on-his-drink part wasn’t quite so welcome. Yoongi smiled, though, and decided to give Namjoon an answer. “‘Course I do. We’re friends, aren’t we? You think I’m some sort of demon who hates everyone?”

He had never specified that it would be a serious answer. 

Namjoon rolled his eyes, lightly smacking Yoongi on the shoulder. “You know that’s not what I mean, hyung. Do you like anyone romantically?”

Yoongi’s first instinct, of course, was to say no. There was no way he could tell Namjoon he liked him, especially not right here, right now, perhaps the absolute worst place and time to do so. 

But would there really be any harm in just rolling with it? Making someone up just for the sake of it? Maybe it would even help a bit with the fact that he knew he couldn’t get with the guy he actually liked. 

No, Yoongi decided, there wouldn’t be. 

“Yeah, actually,” he said, before putting a finger against his lips lightly. “Not telling you who they are now, though. It’s my little secret for now. Besides, you’ve never met them.”

“Ah, really? Come on, hyung, tell me what they’re like at least!” Namjoon begged, and Yoongi couldn’t imagine a single world where he’d even attempt to say no to Namjoon’s plump-lipped pout.

“Fine, if you’re really curious,” Yoongi jokingly held his hands up in surrender. Namjoon leaned towards him, eager for information, and Yoongi’s heart pounded just a bit harder in his chest. “He’s the perfect guy, really. Tall, definitely handsome, but he’s still unique in both looks and personality. He’s sweet and adorable but a genius at the same time. He’ll get all passionate about small things like animals and characters but if you let him he’ll talk to you for hours on end about whatever new scientific discoveries he heard about recently, and he gets so excited about it. It’s endearing. He’s endearing.”

For all Namjoon’s smarts, he had always been oblivious, incredibly so. Yoongi had known from the moment he had started talking that Namjoon wouldn’t pick up that he was talking about him, no matter how obvious he was, no matter how much he talked about things that were so inherently Namjoon. Hell, he could start talking about Namjoon’s dimples and the boy probably still wouldn’t realize it was him who Yoongi loved.

But he did hold himself back, because really, he felt he could never truly run out of things he liked about Namjoon. Every day he seemed to discover some new small detail that made him fall ever so slightly deeper. At this point he couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t enamored with him.

He couldn’t stop it even if he wanted to, but the thing was, he didn’t want to. Knowing Namjoon liked someone else brought him pain, but being his friend, being close to him and knowing they were each other’s closest confidants, brought him more joy than he ever felt otherwise.

Namjoon smiled at him, breathtaking and beautiful, and a part of Yoongi wished he was still as oblivious to Namjoon’s feelings as Namjoon was to his. “Ah, he sounds great, hyung! If our plan with Seokjin works I can help you get with him next!”

Yoongi swallowed down his urge to say no. Namjoon was so genuine, so cheerful at the thought of helping Yoongi too.

But why couldn’t he see that Yoongi liked him? 

Yoongi knew it was mostly his fault – he was the one who had these feelings, and he had to be the one to confess them, so Namjoon couldn’t be blamed for Yoongi’s lack of courage. 

So instead he nodded, trying his best to maintain the dreamy smile on his face from talking about Namjoon. “Yeah, that’ll be fun! Another project for the two of us.”

The two of them.  

Yoongi knew he should be happy for Namjoon. He should be excited about his best friend finding someone he loved. He shouldn’t have the bitterness that was currently crawling its way up his throat like bile.

But he wasn’t happy, and that bitterness was still there, and instead of excitement, the only thing in his heart was the desire for it to remain just the two of them.

•

Today was the day.

Not the day Yoongi would actually be honest with Namjoon. The day Namjoon would ask out someone else and Yoongi would lose the opportunity to confess his feelings without being a piece of shit interrupting his best friend’s relationship.

Part of him was fine with that, already having resigned to the fact that Namjoon would never be his. Part of him was screaming at him to finally do what he had been avoiding for years now. Another part of him still wanted to curl up into a crying ball.

He chose to only listen to that first part. 

It had taken one week, a total of seven of those brainstorming sessions that he spent the entirety of anticipating their end, to decide on their plan, and a few more days for them to finally decide they were prepared to enact it. Namjoon had, with Yoongi’s help, made six strawberry-flavored cupcakes, carefully decorating each one to look like a sugar glider, which Yoongi had remembered was Seokjin’s favorite animal. After Seokjin’s last afternoon lecture and before he went to the library where he normally went to study for the next few hours, Namjoon would go up to him with his homemade treats and ask him out.

Namjoon, anxious as he always was, had planned every detail down to the socks he would wear. He was prepared, and Yoongi couldn’t imagine being in Seokjin’s place and rejecting Namjoon, standing there as perfect as always with the smile he had whenever he talked to Yoongi about Seokjin. 

All that would have happened a few hours ago. Now, it was 21:37. Yoongi hadn’t seen Namjoon since he wished him luck before each of their first classes in the morning, and for once in his life he wasn’t looking forward to seeing him.

Yoongi was fully prepared for this to be quite possibly the worst day of his entire life, and the best day of Namjoon’s. Well, not exactly prepared, since he was sure this would be the moment he would finally give in to his urges to smother his face into his pillow and sob, but he knew what to expect. 

Namjoon, sitting on their couch, giddy and earnest to share every detail of what had happened and how happy he was and how happy Seokjin made him. Yoongi, nodding and smiling and faking happiness like he had been doing for a week and a half now. 

Maybe Seokjin would be there, arm wrapped fondly around Namjoon’s waist, smiling and celebrating their new relationship. 

Dear God, Yoongi hoped Seokjin wouldn’t be there. 

Yoongi slipped his key into the lock of the door, fumbling with it a bit as his fingers shook. Wrapping his hand around the door knob, he knew he’d never be ready to see Namjoon with someone else, so he might as well just rip the band-aid off now. 

Resisting the urge to close his eyes and brace himself, he turned the knob and found himself in him and Namjoon’s shared apartment, eyes filled with the sight of-

Darkness.

The lights, usually a bit too bright for Yoongi’s taste, were off. The little bit of light in the room came from the TV off to the right, and Yoongi could make out the familiar dialogue of Namjoon’s favorite K-drama playing. The one he played when he wanted comfort, whether it be for a small issue or something he was practically tearing himself apart over. 

The bright, happy scenes from the show illuminated Namjoon’s figure, curled-up and lying down on the couch, clutching tightly onto a Ryan plushy he only took from the side of his bed if he was miserable. 

Something wasn’t right. Something went wrong with Namjoon’s plan to ask Seokjin out. 

Briefly, a faint sense of victory flowed through Yoongi. Namjoon wasn’t with someone else. It was still just the two of them. Just how he had wanted. 

Immediately afterward, guilt flooded over him and overwhelmed any bit of positive feeling he got from the scene. He couldn’t be the sort of asshole to celebrate something that made someone else devastated. Especially when that someone was Namjoon. He’d never want anything that could hurt the love of his life, at least not willingly. 

His next instinct was to help comfort Namjoon in any way he could, to do for him what the show playing on screen likely wouldn’t. Stepping closer, he realized he had been standing there staring for several moments now. Apparently that was long enough for Namjoon’s brain to have dismissed the bit of noise he made while opening the door.

Namjoon shifted, head turning towards Yoongi as his feet shuffled against the carpet slowly in a failed attempt to not disturb him more than he had to. “Hyung?” he croaked out, and Yoongi moved faster upon hearing the way his voice choked up. 

Kneeling at the side of the couch, beside Namjoon’s head, Yoongi was able to get a closer look and assess his state. The boy had clearly been crying for a while before stopping sometime in the past few minutes or so, but tears were beginning to well up in his eyes again as he met Yoongi’s gaze, sniffling. His eyes were puffy, cheeks covered with trails of dried tears, bottom lip trembling. 

“Joon-ah? What happened?” Yoongi asked gently, doing his best to keep the shake out of his own voice. It was hard to look at Namjoon this way, so anguished and small, the opposite of his natural state. 

“Hyung, he doesn’t like me. At all. I don’t think we could ever even be friends. He looked like he was embarrassed I was talking to him or something and I’m not even sure what I could have done right because I’m pretty sure I did all of it wrong. I made such a fool of myself, there were people nearby and they all saw me being awkward and getting rejected. And then I just ran because I didn’t know what else to do. Stupid. Stupid,” Namjoon’s words broke into sobs as the tears finally rolled down his face again, snot obscuring some of what he said and his frequent sniffles  and stutters interrupting anything that was clearer. “I’m so stupid. I don’t even know why I tried.”

Before Namjoon could deprecate himself further, Yoongi wrapped his arms around his body, engulfing him in a solid hug, the type Namjoon liked best when he was in the mood for affection. Namjoon hesitated for a moment, body stiffening at the touch, and Yoongi was scared that maybe he had taken things too far and Namjoon was overwhelmed. But then he felt Namjoon’s arms on his back, pulling him closer so he could rest his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. 

The position was a bit uncomfortable, Yoongi having to hold his head up in a way that made his neck ache to keep from smothering himself in Namjoon’s chest, but not enough for him to consider breaking it off or pulling away. He considered adjusting himself a bit, but Namjoon seemed happy with the way things were, and he was afraid Namjoon might take any movement as a sign that Yoongi wanted to get away from him, and in his current fragile state Yoongi didn’t want him to get that idea. 

The two of them were silent save for Namjoon’s occasional hiccup and a bit of sniffling as his sobs started to die down. The drama still playing on the TV was the loudest thing in the room now despite its low volume, and Yoongi could clearly hear the sound of the lead couple sharing their first kiss, a sight Yoongi had seen and heard a thousand times from watching it over and over with Namjoon, blissful and inevitable.

It felt ironic to Yoongi.

•

It had been a while since Yoongi had come here. 

Namjoon’s favorite coffee shop was a cozy little place a few blocks from their apartment that the two of them had discovered shortly after moving into their place together when they had decided to explore to see what was around. Namjoon had immediately fallen in love with their well-brewed drinks, and ever since he had made a tradition of coming there any time he needed an extra caffeine boost. Yoongi occasionally accompanied him, but for the most part he made his own coffee at home. 

The pleasant smell washed over him the moment he walked through the door, and Yoongi would have liked to stop here for a bit to appreciate it, but he was here on a mission.

Namjoon, who had cried himself to sleep last night on the couch – Yoongi had carefully moved him to his bed afterwards – was still asleep, so Yoongi had decided to get him an iced coffee and a breakfast sandwich the place sold that he loved to try and cheer him up a bit.

That was why he had woken up at 7 in the morning on a Saturday, which was much too early for his tastes. Namjoon was a morning person, and Yoongi wanted this to be a surprise. 

The only people in there with him were a few early-morning commuters desperate to get their pick-me-ups, and so it wasn’t long before Yoongi walked out with a cup and a small paper bag, both warm in his hands as he returned home. 

Knocking softly on the door to Namjoon’s room earned him a quiet groan and a drowsy call of “You can come in, hyung,” from the other side after a few seconds’ delay. Frowning, a bit worried for Namjoon (never one to get up past 7:30, and right now it was 7:43) and a bit guilty for waking him up from his sleep, Yoongi pushed open the door. The sight of Namjoon’s fluffy bed head and puffy cheeks poking out from under his blanket sent a surge of warmth to his heart. 

“Got you an iced coffee, Joon-ah. And a breakfast sandwich. Egg, ham, and cheese,” Yoongi waved around the bag clutched in his left hand for emphasis. He couldn’t see Namjoon’s mouth, but he could sense his smile by the way his eyes brightened as Yoongi walked closer, putting the goods down on the nightstand next to the bed. Namjoon pushed himself up, his back resting against the headboard now, and Yoongi could finally see the smile on his face.

He had already concluded years ago that Namjoon’s adorable dimpled smile was the most beautiful sight in the world, and he was convinced of that more every time he saw it.

“Ah, hyung, you didn’t have to do all this. Thank you,” Namjoon said, immediately grabbing the sandwich from its bag, taking a large bite into it and letting out a delighted noise. He tried to say something that sounded sort of like another thanks, but it was muffled by the food in his mouth to the point where it was almost completely incomprehensible. Yoongi chuckled, pushing away a few stray strands of hair that had fallen in front of Namjoon’s eyes so the boy could see better as he devoured his food like a starved baby bear. 

“What else am I supposed to do, not take care of my favorite roommate when he needs it?” 

Namjoon turned to him after he finished the sandwich, brushing a few crumbs off his pajama top, a more serious look in his eyes now. “Really, hyung, you don’t have to put yourself through so much effort for me. I’ll be alright,” Namjoon smiled at him, as if to say, hey, look I’m already happy, I’m already okay!

Maybe it would have worked if the smile actually reached his eyes, if it was actually genuine. Which it wasn’t. Yoongi would have been able to know that even if Namjoon was better at faking it, really.

Because Namjoon had always been the type to fake happiness as well as he could if he thought it would make someone else feel better or worry them less. It was just the sort of person he was, more concerned with the wellbeing of other people than of his own. 

It was part of the reason why Yoongi was so hesitant to tell him about his true feelings. Namjoon would probably try to pretend he liked him back just to satisfy him. And that wasn’t something Yoongi wanted to push on him, nor was it the sort of relationship he would want with him.

The sight of a few tears pricking at Namjoon’s eyes as he sniffled lightly, blinking to try and stop them, pulled Yoongi out of his thoughts. Because Namjoon was still upset. Really upset, if he was failing this hard at hiding it. 

He didn’t give himself time to think about it before he had plopped himself down by Namjoon’s side on the bed and wrapped his arms around Namjoon, resting a hand in his soft hair. He left it there for a moment, just appreciating the feeling, before he began caressing it tenderly. Having his hair rubbed, for whatever reason, always calmed Namjoon down.

A few tears fell from Namjoon’s eyes, leaving wet spots on the back of Yoongi’s shirt, but then his stiff body relaxed into Yoongi’s gentle touches. A choked up sob still managed to get its way out of his throat, and he shook for a few moments longer. It takes another minute or so for him to completely calm down. 

“I’m sorry, hyungie. Shouldn’t be such a baby,” Namjoon muttered against his shoulder. 

You’re my baby, is what Yoongi wanted to say then, but didn’t, both because he didn’t really like being so mushy, and because that would be creepy.

“Don’t say that, you’re my best friend,” Yoongi said instead. “You’re sad and that’s okay. Hyung’s here for you.”

Namjoon pulled away from him, sniffling as he wiped away a few remaining tears, a slight smile on his face now. “I don’t deserve a hyung like you. Thank you for always being there for me, Yoongi-hyung. And understanding when I’m…well, like this. I’ll make it up to you one day. I promise.”

“Ah, it’s alright, Namjoon. I like caring for you, don’t worry,” Yoongi said, patting Namjoon on the back. 

“I love you, Yoongi-hyung,”

“Love you too, Joon,”

And it was bizarre that hearing the man he’s loved for years say I love you to him hurt, but it did, because he knew Namjoon didn’t mean it the way he did. 

•

It seemed to come out of nowhere six days later when Namjoon blurted out a question to him one day as they sat together eating some kimchi stew. He was biting his lip lightly like he almost didn’t want to let the words out, and Yoongi could feel the way his right leg shook under the table.

“Hyung? The guy you told me you liked, do you still like him?” Namjoon stared at him, unblinking as he awaited his answer. 

“More than ever,” Yoongi replied, and it was nothing but the truth.

Namjoon frowned slightly from across the table, nodding silently, and Yoongi swore he saw a disappointed look in his eyes. 

•

Yoongi knew that something was off the moment he got Namjoon’s text.

Namjoon, perhaps the most dedicated student he knew, would never take a break from his schoolwork just to text someone if it wasn’t extremely important and urgent. And yet, during a time Yoongi knew he had a class, he had texted Yoongi, merely saying, Hyung, I need to tell you something later today after our classes.

And that was it. That was all that Yoongi had been left with, a vague message Namjoon didn’t elaborate on at all to itch at his brain for the next few hours. He had been eating lunch at the time, but after reading over Namjoon’s text multiple times, he barely had any appetite left.

It had been a bit over three weeks now since Namjoon’s failed attempt to ask out Seokjin, but things still weren’t the same as they were before. And honestly, Yoongi wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it.

Namjoon was acting different. He seemed more clingy with Yoongi, more eager for his usual friendly affections. Hell, he had even caught Namjoon staring at him with an unreadable yet undoubtedly positive expression on his face a few times.

Yoongi didn’t know how to feel about it, but his heart sure as hell did. The part of him who had crushed on Namjoon for years now was absolutely thrilled about this development.

Yoongi had always tried to keep his hopes low when it came to Namjoon. He couldn’t let himself be heartbroken by confusing mere gestures of friendship with something more. It was hard to do that, though, with Namjoon acting this way. He couldn’t stop his heart from leaping into the air whenever Namjoon gave him a hug before they went to sleep or did his best to cook dinner for the two of them even if he wasn’t good at it with the excuse that he “wanted to give Yoongi-hyung a break and take care of him every once in a while”.

But even with all the change, he still couldn’t figure out what Namjoon’s message actually meant. All he knew was that it was unusual.

Later that day, during the early evening when the sun began to sink under the trees, Yoongi finally arrived home. Normally he would have stuck around at the library for a bit longer, but today, he went straight home from his final lecture. And it was only when he finally stepped through the door that he realized just how unusual things actually were. 

Namjoon, normally so calm when he had time to prepare what he had to say, so articulate and pedantic, was an absolute mess, stumbling through his words from the moment Yoongi entered the apartment. His hands clutched his hair as he paced around the apartment in front of Yoongi, and the few sentence fragments Yoongi was able to catch sounded like pure nonsense for the most part. 

He grabbed a few loose pieces of paper with text printed on them from the table where they had been sitting. Yoongi could see various words crossed-out, messy handwriting in the margins. Namjoon shuffled through them frantically, his words a bit clearer now that he was directly facing Yoongi. “I tried- tried writing letters to tell you, I did, but I just didn’t know - what should I say, and writing it down still didn’t help-”

Namjoon’s stuttering his way through an explanation of how he had tried to tell Yoongi, but Yoongi didn’t even have any idea what Namjoon had wanted to tell him, and clearly in this state of mind Namjoon isn’t going to spell it out for him clearly either. He stepped forward, gently yet firmly placing his hands on Namjoon’s shoulders, prompting him to stay still. 

“Namjoonie, Namjoon-ah. Calm down. Take deep breaths,” Yoongi instructed, Namjoon doing his best to follow what he was telling him. “What’s got you so worked up, Joon-ah? What do you want to tell hyung?”

Namjoon took a final deep breath before letting more words spill out of him, a bit less quick and much more comprehensible now. “Hyung, I…” he hesitated for a moment, as if unsure whether he should let himself say more. “I think I like you. As- more than a friend.”

Namjoon’s head drooped down, unable to keep eye contact with him anymore, but he didn’t pause again before continuing. “ Love you. Or maybe it isn’t long enough to say that yet. I’m not sure how long it’s been. I think…it’s been a while now. Months. I just didn’t realize before, I think. I just…I don’t know, hyung. All I know is that I love when you hug me or touch me or play with my hair, and I love talking with you and I just feel…complete. I guess. When I talk to you. It all feels right. And I always want it more. I want us to be more,” Namjoon took another shaky breath, right hand clutching his left arm. “I’m sorry, hyung. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know we can’t. I know you like someone else and obviously you’d want to be with them instead of- well, me. I just wanted to be honest with you. Because we both deserve that, I think.”

Namjoon looked ashamed, a sad expression on his face as he fiddled with the papers still in his hands, curling into himself as if he expected Yoongi to be angry at him, and the sight broke Yoongi’s heart. Stepping even closer so that their chests were practically touching now, Yoongi lifted up Namjoon’s chin with his fingers and leaned in, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. 

Namjoon gasped into his mouth, shocked, but quickly reciprocated, moving his lips against Yoongi’s in an exploratory rhythm. Yoongi felt like he was going to explode with the rush that was going straight to his heart – Namjoon’s lips were just as soft and pillowy as he had always imagined them to be, his small noises just as delicious as they poured out of him. 

After a few blissful seconds longer, Namjoon pulled away, his cheeks flushed as he gasped for breath. “Hyungie-” was all he could manage to get out, and Yoongi realized that at some point during the kiss Namjoon had grabbed his shirt, and now his fingers still gripped it loosely. In that moment, he was staring at Yoongi like he was truly the most wonderful thing in his entire world. His beautiful eyes sparkled, and as a smile took over his face his dimples dug at the sides of his mouth. 

Yoongi wasn’t given a chance to respond before he was pulled forward for another hungry yet loving kiss, and kissing Namjoon was so perfect that he found that he didn’t mind at all.

There would be other times for words, for discussion.