#naf project

When recovering from trauma (or still living it from day to day) it is easy to forget that you matter. You are a person and you deserve to be loved, appreciated, and safe. 

Survivors may have trouble adjusting to life after their abuse and often the abuse has left the survivor feeling less valuable than other people. This is common and in no way reflects that actual truth. Every survivor is strong by definition. With some time and work, we can all decide to accept our current selves. That doesn't mean we don't have ways in which we can grow as a person or that we don't need more coping skills to deal with everyday life, but what it does mean is that we all should value ourselves as we are. Overweight, underweight, scarred, scared, alone, surrounded by friends, facing the future or running from it. Wherever you are right now, you are important. You matter. You are beautiful. 

As many of us are nearing the end of another semester at college, we are faced with ever-growing anxiety over grades, the future, and next semester or graduation. 

I want to encourage each of you who are feeling this time crunch to take at least five - ten minutes every day to focus on yourself. If you can forget about school for that long each day, it will help lower your over-all stress levels. 

Here are a few ideas for relaxing for short periods of time:

Listen to music that calms you.

Try to meditate or at least clear your mind and think of something that you find comforting.

Write a letter or journal entry.

Take a twenty minute nap.

Read a chapter or a scene from your favorite book.

If you have a pet then spend five minutes talking to it about your problems. It is amazing how this can help you release pent up stress.

Do an activity that you love, but haven't allowed yourself to do because of school.

Not At Fault has experienced a bit of a hiatus the last few weeks as I've deal with personal issues, but I wanted to reassure all our followers that we are not stopping the project. We still encourage both written and recorded submissions of support for survivors of sexual abuse. 

Any word of kindness or positive message is welcome here and we look forward to hearing from you! Stay safe and remember that what happened to you was not your fault and you have control of your life now. <3. All the love and respect. <3. 

Anxiety is very difficult when you have places you are forced to be where there are a lot of people, noises or movement outside your control. School, work, and stores are at the top of the lists of most common places that can trigger panic attacks and heightened anxiety. 

There are several immediate coping skills that can be utilized in situations such as those. One is controlling your breathing. By physically changing your breathing pattern it will cause you to calm down by increasing your oxygen intake. Rapid, shallow, and improper breathing that takes place when you are anxious causes an increase in carbon dioxide levels which can leave you dizzy and shaking. Being able to employ better breathing will help to eradicate the side effects. 

Here is a simple breathing exercise and link to more information:

Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Keep your shoulders relaxed. Your abdomen should expand, and your chest should rise very little.

Exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly, but keep your jaw relaxed. You may hear a soft “whooshing” sound as you exhale.

Repeat this breathing exercise for several minutes.

Another way to combat anxiety is to ground yourself in the moment. It helps when you are having flashbacks during social situations, begin to dissociate, or are feeling overwhelmed by stimuli. There are many different grounding techniques. One that I have found most helpful is texture (feeling something around me such as a seat arm or a shirt cuff and focusing on its texture) and another is focusing on colors or shapes that are around you. Drawing your focus into the moment and onto things not related to your anxiety can help to ease some of the stress. 

Here is a simple grounding technique and links to several others:

Hold something in your hand that has a unique temperature (an ice cube if you are at home, a cold drink if you are out) and focus on how it feels. 

One thing that many survivors deal with is anxiety and a particularly nasty part of it is the roller coaster our emotions force us to ride through. Even with therapy, anti-anxiety medication and healthy coping skills there are still some days where anxiety gets the better of you and there is no shame in that. 

I have been personally dealing with this for the past week or so and wanted to come on here and reassure everyone who goes through this that it is not your fault, it doesn't make you defective or anything. It is a part of healing. When we work through our past or even our present issues then anxiety will naturally be "stirred up" inside and it might take a few weeks to find equilibrium. 

In the mean time, don't blame yourself or put yourself down for this happening. You are a strong person and anxiety is nothing more than a natural reaction to what is happening in your life right now. You'll get through this and everything will calm down once more, even if it doesn't feel like that is possible right now. Give it time. 

This is just a quick reminder that Not At Fault needs text and video encouragements. That is the entire reason for its existence and you are the voice. You are the person who can let someone know it wasn't their fault and that they can get through this whole. 

Here are the NAF Project we respect and support everyone who is a survivor of any form of abuse. If you were ever abused, harassed or assaulted, remember that it was not your fault. 

You deserve respect and understanding no matter what your history or current circumstances.