hurt me • hyun r.
requests: CLOSED
warnings: cheating & drinking(?)
word count: 1.1k
a/n: as you can see i like to hurt myself :D
Numb.
Staring at his phone in disbelief, Zen felt numb. There you were, all over that fucking trust-fund kid. It made his blood boil, he wanted nothing more than to storm up to Jumin's penthouse and beat the shit out of him. But he didn't. Even though you were the one hurting him, he loves you. And he knew if he did what he truly what he wanted to do, you would be pissed. Despite the rage that was burning up inside him... he valued what you thought of him. Above everything else, he sought your approval. He wanted you to be proud of him. So, he didn't punch the trust fund kid. Instead, he sat on the couch, downing a beer. A couple of beers. Maybe it was a dozen now? To be frank, Zen wasn't keeping count.
Hitting the replay button was like he was stabbing himself in the heart. He knew watching this video would hurt him but he couldn't help it. It was like pinching yourself to convince yourself something was really real. This had a similar effect, it let Zen know what he was watching, in the present time, was real. Even if he didn't want it to be. Yoosung had sent him the video, looking back, Zen figured he should thank the college student at some point. He knew he shouldn't have let you go to karaoke with the RFA without him. But he did because he trusted you... that was a mistake.
The video showed you rubbing and kissing all over Jumin like he was your boyfriend. And the heir didn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable. If anything it looked like he welcomed it. The video also showed Saeyoung trying to get you to get off, if the volume was turned up enough, he could even hear the redhead say, "Come on Y/n, you know Zen isn't going to like this". The albino snorted, of course, he wouldn't fucking like it. You were practically throwing yourself at a man that wasn't him. Zen harshly wiped the tears threatening to spill from his face while he laughed bitterly. This was his punishment for loving too hard.
He loved you so much it hurt. He wanted your approval, your praise, your everything, so much so that it hurt. The silver-head went to an audition for a new role, he had been preparing for weeks– no months for this role, and even though the part was practically handed to him afterward. He didn't feel the slightest bit of happiness or joy or anything. Zen felt completely numb.
“Zenny~ baby I’m home!”
You exclaimed, stumbling into your shared apartment. Taking off your shoes almost resulted in you face-planting on the floor, which was, apparently, the funniest thing in the world to you. An endless fit of giggles left your mouth as you walked through the apartment albeit tipsy. You scrunched up your nose in disgust as you walked into the kitchen and the stench of beer washed over you.
There was your boyfriend, hovering over the counter, a beer in hand. Along with other empty beer cans littering the kitchen. You walked towards him and let out a laugh, “Woah, what happened here? You had a party without me?” You teased, placing a hand on his shoulder. Zen quickly shrugged you off, opting to stand and lean against the counter instead. Your smile dropped, “Hey what’s wrong? Did you not get the part?” You inquired looking at him with concern. The silver-head scoffed, “No I got the part” He corrected, taking a swig from the beer in his hands.
You raised an eyebrow, “Sooo what’s up?” You asked, fiddling with your fingers. Noticing this, your boyfriend rolled his eyes, this was a telltale sign that you were nervous. You had probably figured out that he knew what you did and you were nervous. Placing the now empty beer can on the counter, Zen turned to you. “Nothing, I’m good. Enough about me though, how are you? How was your day?” He asked nonchalantly. You wrung your fingers anxiously while shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “It was fine, um karaoke was really fun! You should’ve been there–“ You rambled, looking everywhere but at him.
“So are we going to pretend you didn’t do what you did?”
“Huh?”
Zen scoffed once again, his deathly grip denting the can in his hands. “You and Jumin huh? Yeah, I can see that considering your both snakes” He spat, his vermillion eyes glaring daggers at you. Your voice was caught in your throat and you had no idea what to say. What could you say? “Hyun baby–” You started, only to be interrupted by Zen slamming his hand on the counter. Your gaze snapped to him, as you fearfully clutched the hem of your shirt.
Your boyfriend winced as he lifted his hand, that was now red, from the counter. Nevertheless, his anger didn’t disperse. “Don’t. I know I dropped out of high school but... I’m not fucking stupid Y/n. So please save your breath, spare my feelings, and don’t tell me some bullshit lie. I saw the video so I already know that you cheated. My only questions are; how long? And why?” He inquired, his glare turning into a small pleading look. Against your own will, your lip started trembling and tears just slipped out of your eyes. The albino watched as you silently cried for a bit, his tears threatening to return.
What the hell were you crying for?
You cheated on him, he should be the one crying.
Were you sorry for cheating…
or were you only sorry you got caught?
Zen grit his teeth while balling his fists, “How long and why Y/n?! Answer the damn question!” He shouted, his rage bubbling and about to spill over. His outburst only caused you to sink to the floor and cry harder. The silver-head just shook his head and laughed bitterly. He walked towards you before crouching in front of you.
“Fine. Keep your secrets but you and I are done. I’ll leave and you can keep the apartment. I’ll figure something out” He stated standing up, “To think, I love you and you couldn’t care less about me. Isn’t that fucked up?” Zen inquired laughing to himself. You could only watch as he made his way toward the door, picking up a duffel bag on his way there. Before opening the door, he turned and looked at you. You looked distraught and he couldn’t help but feel bad. Only because he still loved and cared for you. That’ll be a bad habit to break.
“But I guess that’s just life”
