#myskyline

This wasn't the way I thought I'd end the year.

just let me fucking die

I would be lying if I said I'm not slightly disappointed or mildly hurt that the friends I have known since 2015 and have spent everyday in a discord call with since last June all forgot my birthday. It's not like I didn't mention it or haven't celebrated it with them before. Albeit the last time I did celebrate it with them was also pretty fucking awful. I don't need or want a party or cake or presents but just a simple reminder that they thought about me would have been nice. I don't know why I care. Was it wrong of me to have this expectation to be the bare minimum of the friendship I have with the very few handful of people I acknowledge as my closest and most treasured friends? They aren't bad friends, and I don't hold anything against any of them. If anything I'm so grateful to have them support and celebrate my life wins when I have them. but I guess I'm just a little sad only 3 of my friends outside of my mom/dad/brother and the starbucks lady went out of their way to remember the only day i feel like i'm allowed to have a little bit of attention and be a little selfish. what does this even say about me right? maybe it's just me being mopey about feeling lonely and like i don't matter at all again.

whatever, i guess i sound super dramatic and depressed but i don't think i get overly upset at insignificant things like i did when I was still in high school or college.

here are good things that happened to me today:

1. I got a free drink at Starbucks, their iced brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso is really good, not syrupy or overly sweet and oatmilk > milk for the lactose-intolerance

2. I had Dumpling House for lunch!!!

3. I got a Strawberry Cream cake from Mozart

4. I took a nap

5. I put this Shiba shell on my Switch!!! isn't it so cute :D

6. I got my 20th Fall Guys win (and finally unlocked an achievement)

7. I didn't have to work

8. j texted me which was really cool because we totally haven't kept in touch since like 10th grade (2010 holy shit) except like once when we got dinner at densetsu but it definitely made me smile at how simple our friendship was back then

9. I got FengCha bc fuckit if i don't have boba for my treat myself day

10. My mom and dad and I ate kbbq at home with our pancake griddle and my brother video called me!!! i'm happy anytime i feel like i get a little closer to my brother. we've never been super close and it makes me a little sad that he's barely home anymore. hopefully next year he gets to be back here?

11. I got my Voluspa reed diffusers and matcha tea set

12. I'm rewatching Lovely Complex (which holy the plot/the progression/the pacing/the jokes are actually super well written for the time and it's aged pretty well too imo)

13. I have plans to clean my room eheh..

14. I spent time at a Barnes&Noble and got myself a few books this week c: