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It has been four years...

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They said it would be just for a few months...
It has been four years...

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Psst, Foundationblr (SCPblr... whatever we’re called)
So I posted my first draft for my first SCP attempt. Since chat works wonky with my comp/internet and no one is posting any criticisms yet, I thought throwing this out here to see if some people might be willing to look at it? I’d really like some actual, harsh thoughts on this piece because I want it to be the best it possibly can be before I attempt mainlisting it.
So I hop you enjoy it and please post your thoughts!
Here’s the link for the forum post for the draft, which has a link to the sandbox, obvi: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1720274/scp-insertnumberhere:sgt-baxter-of-the-red-ball-express
Please give me stuff to work with. This is a draft, so it needs help, not just generalized critiques based on if you liked it or not. Save that for its official posting, if it makes it that far.
Also, with this post, I’m issuing in a specific place for all my SCP Foundation postings on my blog; stay tuned for more SCP stuff under the tag “myscp”!