#myprojection

Time goes up super quick, indirectly reminded me that we've already hit the mid-year. As many talks, problems, interactions, that happened in the past months. It builds new mindsets in my head.

Actually, we, as humans, have charges on our own feet. Sometimes we block ourselves, just because our focus is disturbed by our surroundings. Society's standard, our people's expectations, the rapid life-pace - all of these, who made us distracted from our true selves. At a moment I asked myself: What do you want to chase in this life, fit? What's life do you want? and it really intrigued me these days.

If I recall my past, I could become anything that I want - without reckon any disallowances from my parents (or my religion indeed, but I'd believe this is the main life principle that I must grip). If I not afraid back then and consider myself only, perhaps I really could achieve my dream to continue my master in Europe. If I didn't disturb by society's standard, I might be living my authentic life, not just follow the set-up pattern to enter the corporate system. Well, although it also depends on my luck.

So, here I am today, with my new objectives, to detach anything that distracts me to achieve an authentic path

I am dreaming to leave Jakarta

I am currently working on this. Seeking a job that I can do anywhere. I am dreaming to have a slow-living concept. I do admire it. Tbh, I feel that it enough for me to live in the city. The pace, the people, I figure out that being in the city doesn't align more with our nature. Therefore, I want to move out! I am planning to stabilize my income first, then if everything is ready, I'll move to Lombok.

It's ok if neither I getting married nor having children

I do want to marry someone, who's not? It's our human nature that we need someone who loves and adores us. However, I saw many objections along with this topic. I have a trust issue. I frequently meet men either who didn't be responsible with their couples, or who always have a dirty mind. I feel I can't let myself rely on them. Also, I realized my own company, and this's so addictive! Although this idea generates by my trust issue (which probably become bigger), I am happy to say, that I am ok to be the one.

And about children, Uhm, I think I have stocks in my family. If I want to have one, I will acquire one of them to live with me. If not, well, there are still many children outta there that wanting to be loved. I believe this.

Relationship always has its ending, it never last

Especially friendship. Well, I do admit that I am someone that always values friendship, but (most likely) not anymore. I dunno why, but my journey taught me to not completely believe in people around you, except your own family. I know that having a friend will help us to conquer our life. But, these days I feel my life becomes so calm when I make sparse interaction. It decelerates disturbance around my brain.