weighing in on the rob and control discussions, i've thought a lot about the prevalent fandom idea that robert likes to give up power in his relationships/during sex, but no matter how hard i think about it, i really can't see it (genuinely trying to see if i'm missing something due to bias, but i honestly just can't). all of his relationships to date have been about gaining more power...like, even when he is giving up something, it's almost always in circumstances where either he doesn't see it like that because his own self-image doesn't allow for it, like with nicola - he thinks he's going to be so cool dating a hot older woman, he thinks he will look like he has power over her and therefore is a big man, not ever considering that he's so young that in the eyes of most of society he isn't capable of it. his loss of power in the relationship is completely unintentional and he's shocked and devastated and furious and hurt when he realises that it won't give him what he thinks it will and that everyone - nicola included - sees him as a hurt little boy as a result.
or he's only giving up some degree of power because it's gaining him more power in another way like, access to chrissie's money. and even then he still terrorises the whites with what power he does hold over them - why he's so homophobic to lawrence, because it's about keeping lawrence in his place using his ability to perform and enjoy performing heterosexuality to show lawrence who's really boss - and wielding his masculinity over chrissie - who really importantly, despite the wealth gap and some jokes here and there, is never his sugar mama, she's his rich girlfriend and later wife which gives him power over both her and her assets -> which is his ultimate goal. and he cheats on her constantly before that as a way of taking out his anger at her, but not being able to hurt your partner directly because they might leave you is not submission, that's just being an abuser with something to lose? (sorry for using the 'a' word - i know i will be blocked even more for it π). even though he can't subjugate her directly, he still lashes out at her covertly by cheating on her or undermining her with lachlan as a way of dominating/hurting her/putting her in her place without losing access to her or her money (this is explicitly the instigating factor of the first robron hook up).
and i think it's incredibly telling that his soulmate is aaron of all people, because while robron is the relationship that gives rob the least external social power it's also the relationship that gives him the most interpersonal power due to the age gap, wealth gap, mental health gap and also the admiration gap. like aaron a. looooves him and b. looooves to be subsumed into a relationship and c. sees failed relationships as personal failures rather than relationship failures, and like extremely extremely importantly, does not cope well alone...and there's really no better partner for someone who wants to dominate every interaction. even post-prison release when a lot of those original differences have narrowed and aaron had the upper hand in so many ways (34-40 is barely an age gap, rob's got no money and his mental health is shot due to prison) the narrative actively works to renew the old dynamic by giving aaron a storyline that reduces him to his abused 8 year old self...like it's so crazy dark π΅βπ«. but when the fictional universe you inhabit repeatedly contorts itself to place your soulmate in the position where he is most susceptible to you twice like what does that say about you?
i also find it so fascinating that kevbert is rob's most equal relationship. they're partners. the relationship isn't coerced or transactional at all imho or not anymore than any normal relationship which is crazy because that's your prison husband. but it isn't really, it's actually just his husband he met in prison π€¦. kev was already protecting him before they started hooking up, rob is far more experienced sexually and is kev's supporter and teacher in exploring and navigating his sexuality. notwithstanding kev's love of projecting an impression that he's macho and violent, he's really just a big kid in so many ways - which rob is both fond of and paternalistic/dismissive of. but also as much as he loves kev, and their time together was clearly important to him, he still walks away from kev without a backward glance in the end and probably because it was healthy!!! and balanced!!!! his only balanced rl being situational bc he doesn't have any other choice...his nonconsensually consensual happy healthy prison marriage π€¦π€¦π€¦.
