#myheadgetsloud

Holly stopped, looking up at Jay in surprise.

Looking at the assortment of things she had packed up -- bedding, clothes, soap, comics, food, etc -- it was easy to understand why Jay might be a little uneasy. She finished folding the blanket in her hands, and dropped it into the bottom of an open duffle bag.

The sudden gunfire, coupled with Slim calling from the front porch, had jerked Matthew right out of his nap. He was on his feet in seconds, hurrying towards the door. The commotion was outside the walls of the settlement, which was something of a relief, but it still seemed best to go out and make sure. As he checked and loaded his pistol, he looked up at Jay.

"It don't sound too serious, probably just a couple of ferals or critters got too close," he began, noting that the shooting had already died down quite a bit, "I'm just gonna go out 'n see what's goin' on. I'll be right back, I promise."

Matthew raised his eyebrows in surprise. He'd not taken anything Jay had said to heart, in fact, he'd felt bad for startling him when he was already rattled by all the traders gathered around by the gate.

So why is it that the only thing dripping off my tongue is rage?

Matthew leaned back from the fire pit, turning his face away from the heat. Holly had seasoned up some good looking brahmin cuts for supper, and thrown in a few potatoes to bake over the flames to go with them. A fine summer dinner to be sure, but the cooking of all of it was more than a little miserable on an already hot summer day.

Holly stared at Jay in shock.

Her first instinct was to tell him that he wasn’t. That there was nothing wrong with him. But...that didn’t seem quite right. Even if she thought he was fine, that didn’t mean there wasn’t something that made him feel this way. Something going on inside. Something she couldn’t see. And that was not at all unfamiliar to her.

Slowly, her features relaxed, and she gave a nod of understanding.

“...Yeah...I feel that way too sometimes,” she admitted quietly, “...A lot, actually. Like...I’m kinda ruined? Or broken or somethin’. It feels kinda heavy in my head. And lonesome, even with people ‘round all the time...”

Holly glanced at Jay, doing her best to conceal the sadness she felt for him. He had never talked to her about his family, or where exactly he had come from, and she would not ask. If he wanted her to know about that part of his life, he would tell her when he was ready. However, given his nervous nature, she suspected his family had far less than caring and affectionate.

“It’s an awful way to exist,” she said gently, shaking her head slowly, “Feelin’ in danger all the time. I’m sorry you had to live that way.”