Fuck...
Why do I sit and year myself apart day by day.. Why can't I just rewind back to before this mess we have become happened. I wanna restart the beach; I want to do everything right, I want to see those piercing blue eyes again before I fall asleep and hear the sweetest words roll off your tongue just before we fall asleep.. "I love you".. I want to feel the warmth of your body against mine and the, bring alive the the way our lips just danced with one another's. The way I could feel how much you wanted me and loved me. All the cute pictures, the weekends with you and your family. Watching netflix and eating chips and salsa. Waking up and making breakfast and sometimes failing, but in the end no matter what it was perfect just simply because I was trying to do something for you. I miss your voice saying "just love me", I miss fighting sleep on FaceTime, and how we thought we had the world by the balls. But I'm fearful if we would try again it wouldn't be the same, we would be together again but feel like strangers. There's moments where my whole mind is consumed by the thoughts of you and us but then there's moments where I am blank and numb and just don't know what to do.. Fuck.. I'm sorry
