#mychen-zel

“I’ve been looking through my journals, with a thumb anxiously paused at the section of my father’s own writing. A fetid, twisting knot in my stomach denotes an uncomfortable truth that I may find there.

I should have asked, knowing that the question would have strangled itself within my own throat. Mychen-Zel knew him, and possibly hoped to find a semblance of Theodore Gardinier within me

…or perhaps I’m overthinking his motives through paranoia.   

When I first met the mer, he had a much different personality than the momentary one that I encountered on our last meeting. Another more complex and insidious facet had become apparent in the second approach, leaving me slightly apprehensive. However, my intrigue was able to overshadow such concern as I currently find myself ruminating what he wanted me to discern. A prick of annoyance glances my skin as I feel personally inclined to give into his egotistical games–to seek out the answer for myself. I’m not sure if I find that absolutely abhorrent or admirable.

My chance to meet him again grows unlikely, since it ended on an unfortunate note. My father is dead–how could Mychen-Zel not of known this? All of High Rock knew. Never-the-less, it’s fortunate that I am not having to admit what really transpired on the day of Theodore’s passing. I somehow intuitively fear the level of disdain that mer was capable of, but what was I supposed to to do after what I beheld? After what I had lost…