#myatb

honey, you got a big storm comin'

Is it really that bitter?

Bonus:

Rating men's ponytails in wuxia/xianxia I've seen. Part 1. Part 2.

Zhang Chulan (I Am Nobody) 0/10

This is the most ridiculous, unslutty ponytail ever invented. It's almost as if a hairdresser enjoyed humiliating him. But this is how his grandpa did it when he was little, and maybe he keeps it that way to remind him of his yeye. If Zhang Chulan ever wants to lose his virginity, he's got to lose that ponytail first.

Gong Ziyu (My Journey to You) 1/10

Given that the first scene we see him in, he's chilling with a woman in a brothel, this guy really should have a sluttier ponytail than he does. His anemic, prissy little spout tells us he really does watch porn for the plot.

Zhou Zishu (Word of Honor) 1/10

This man cannot stop abusing himself, whether it's pounding poisoned nails into his body or deliberately choosing to wear this hairstyle, even when he's got the sluttiest man in the jianghu in his bed. If I were Wen Kexing, I'd hold him down and take a pair of shears to this mop and make him start from scratch.

Jiang Xiaoyu (Handsome Siblings) 2/10

This childish, bouncy, and unique little side pony is practically a character in its own right but not a very slutty one. It does suit his overly confident character, though, and could be sluttier if he would lose that god-awful fringe.

Gong Shangjue (My Journey to You) 3/10

Gege's no-frills ponytail and sturdy, angular guan want us to know that he is a dangerous man capable of violence and cruelty. Hot? Yes. Slutty? No. (Didi Gong Yuanzhi doesn't wear a true ponytail, so he's not rated.)

Murong Jinghe (Kill Me Love Me) 3/10

Like Gong Shangjue but with a more dramatic guan with a bigger hairpin to show that he's got a big dick and probably likes to fuck nasty. (I didn't finish watching this show, so maybe this isn't his best ponytail look.)

Lan Wangji (The Untamed) 4/10

Hanguang Jun's ponytail is as repressed by that ornate guan as his libido is by the Lan Clan's 3,000 rules. His ponytail screams "I am not a slut!" so loudly that it's a case of "methinks the lady doth protest too much."

Zhuo Yichen (Fangs of Fortune) 5/10

Zhuo Yichen is like a xianxia Mona Lisa. His ponytail is the equivalent of her suggestive little smile. Even when he's being brutally choked and his face stepped on, it still looks neat and tidy, like a painting.

Jin Xiaobao and Zongzhen Huaien (Meet You at the Blossom) 6/10

Canoncially slutty, Jin Xiaobao flaunts and tosses his hair and his golden guan and ribbon are an important part of the plot. His hair always looks like he just rolled out of someone's bed because he probably did. Huaien wears his ponytail in a more menacing manner and is kind of a dick about Xiaobao's hair ornament gift but in the end they agree that gays should have slutty hair.