my 4am thoughts
I must be a bad person right? Why else don't I have friends? Or a boyfriend? Or literally anyone who always make me happy and feel appreciated or wanted? I know I'm too nice. Maybe I should stop. Maybe if I'm a bitch the world will fall at my feet. Does everyone feel like this and I just suck at dealing with it? Or am I just broken? Really, truly broken. I hate when an "I love you" means nothing. I hate when you feel like you're important, you belong. And then the whole world falls apart around you when you realize that you're not important. That you don't mean anything to anyone. That random people who don't even know you say they love you and you're beautiful and a good person, when they literally don't know you from a hole in the wall and they're trying to make you feel better. That if you disappeared no one would honestly truly 100% care. Maybe my family but that's it. And they have to love you. I haven't made an impact on the world. I never have and I never will. Maybe it's all be better if I just ended it right here. right now. who could it hurt?
