back at it with bby #2! (but not #2 in my heart). again pls....HMU or LIKE THIS to plot!!
❝ jake gyllenhaal. cismale. he/him. ❞ ━ 𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨 welcomes calvin hyde with open arms. the thirty-seven year old funeral director has been living here for thirty-seven years, give or take. on a good day, they seem the clever & self-reliant type, but their taciturn & irritable tendencies shine through when there are no taxis into the city.
ok so, cal has lived in lakeview for his entire (sad) life. he’s the only child of two (now retired) high school teachers and he has always been the little emo shit ball he is today.
he was that weird little white kid who would like......burn ants and shit with a magnifying glass probably. he was definitely an annoying little shit who had no friends & he thought it was because he was a LOSER but it was actually because he was just kind of rude???
he wasn’t actually THAT bad he just wanted to be left alone and he kind of made that fact known. it was also kinda hard for him to be the son of 2 teachers at his school u know??? he just hated school & wanted ppl to leave him ALONE.
probably only had like 3 friends but he would spend his lunches and free periods just reading outside no matter the weather.
his earliest memory is of his grandpa’s funeral and he’s been very interested in death ever since? LMAO. not in like....a whack serial killer ted bundy kinda way but more in like a.........isn’t it kinda weird that u have to stare at ur dead grandpa before he gets put in the ground kinda way????
but he never rly thought abt it in terms of a career until he started dating his first gf in high school. her dad was a funeral director and he was like 👀 yo this mans is COOOOL AF
it got to the point where he would spend more time with his gf’s dad than his actual gf bc....he is a FREAK and even though they broke up eventually, cal went to work at his funeral home right after high school & became his apprentice. a few years later & he was working at the funeral home full time as a licensed embalmer & funeral director!
he’s been there ever since and tbqh he is a complete workaholic. ppl die every day man he’s always busy, on call 24/7, helping families arrange burials and funerals and all that jazz. he much prefers the embalming and paperwork side of his job where he can work alone in peace. comforting grieving families is absolutely exhausting and it’s taken a toll on him. the mans needs a VACATION he’s never been sis...................he needs some sunlight. he needs some milk :/
his HERO and MENTOR has since passed (cal handled the funeral himself, ofc) and the funeral home was passed down to him, so he is now also the owner & manager.
he was married once upon a time!!!!!!!! he loved his wife v much but he is very bad at communicating and expressing his feelings and he tends to busy himself with work when things get tough so whenever they had a fight, he would disappear and just work work work. they were together for four years before they separated and eventually divorced.
now he is just.............alone. with his cat, gomez.
my boi....
again, he likes to be alone. he is kind of awkward, kind of anti-social, just generally uncomfortable around ppl, especially if he doesnt know them. he’s pleasant enough but he just would rather not meet new ppl if he doesnt have to LMAO.
he is ALWAYS tired. the man doesnt sleep, let me tell u. doesn’t help that he’s always drinking coffee tbh. he can stop whenever he wants he just....doesnt want to.........
bc he is so tired he is also very easily irritated & quite snappy. he is just kind of negative & rude & grouchy & snappy and i am so sorry for him.
but is he lonely???? absolutely. the mans has convinced himself he needs a solitary life and yet............sir??? something is missing?????? what is it??????
all he can do is cuddle his cat & then get upset when that lil shit yeets away bc a cat cannot be contained.
very out of touch w his emotions and likes to pretend he is a robot who feels nothing. not to be depressing af but honestly........catch him at like 4am in bed crying bc the weight of his JOB and his CRUSHING LONELINESS catches up to him sometimes
then he watches a stupid movie and feels better
he’s playin himself
he is VERY bad at dating and relationships and flirting!!!! he’s very oblivious to flirtation tbh. u can straight up offer to suck his dick and he’d be like “oh they’re just being nice!!!!” how he managed to have a wife is beyond me but he did!!!!
he’s.....lowkey soft (but dont tell him that :/ )
what else can i say
likes 2 read
especially likes 2 read when he’s havin a bubble bath
he is not sure if he wants to get married again. also not sure if he wants to have kids ever (even tho he is soft around them). the grown ass man just doesnt rly know what he wants??? and that is Okay. life is confusing sometimes, man.
he rly does love his cat
doesn’t rly drink alcohol bc his family has a history of addiction but he does smoke shame cigarettes when he’s stressed
all black everything, always. looks emo all the time bc he is.
he be lookin sleek tho, he’s v good at keeping himself well-groomed
smart af yet somehow still a clown :/
