#my entry!

It’s a few nights later when he’s finally able to confront his partner.

Her body is rigid as she runs over rooftops mechanically, eyes scanning the ground for danger like she’s been programmed to do so. She only offers him polite conversation, barely acknowledging his presence at all. He’s so confused, he struggles to match her pace as she ignores his every joke and swings through the sky like a mannequin. 

“Well,” she says stiffly as she lands on the Eiffel Tower, their designated end-of-patrol spot. “That’s it for tonight.”

“Ladybug, wait.” He catches her wrist before she can dash away again. He isn’t sure what to say and searching her eyes doesn’t offer him any more insight. 

“Are you alright?” he finally settles on, loosening his grip but not letting go of her. 

“Fine,” she says. She doesn’t pull away from him, but keeps her eyes glued to the Parisian skyline, refusing to make eye contact. 

“You know I don’t believe that for a second.” “You don’t have to believe it,” Ladybug snaps. “It’s true.”

He steps back, her words like a physical slap. Her hand drops like dead weight down to her side, smacking hard against her leg. 

“I’m sorry,” she finally looks at him, eyes churning with emotion. “That wasn’t fair.”

“It’s okay.”

His soft voice is soft compared to the wind whipping all around them, but he can tell by the way her shoulders slump that she heard him. 

“It’s not.” She shakes her head. “But thank you.”

He hesitates, his resolve wavering before deciding to push her again. 

“Something’s wrong.” He holds up a hand when she tries to argue. “I know it. Please, Ladybug. Don’t shut me out. I can help.” He offers her a small smile. “If you’ll let me.”

Ladybug stares at him for a moment, the only sound coming from the air whistling through the metal beams.

She seems so small. He wants to wrap her in a hug and rock her back-and-forth like his mother used to do for him. He wants to whisper affirmations, comb his fingers through her hair, smooth the worry from her brow.

She shakes her head once and soars away.  ~~~

Getting away. 

The most vile akuma they’ve ever faced is tearing the city apart and he’s getting away.

Rain soaks Chat Noir’s skin flowing through the large rips in his suit. His hair sticks to his forehead, hanging heavy in front of his eyes. They’ve been fighting for hours and his muscles strain from overuse. He’s recharged at least four times and Ladybug has even more, but even with Rena Rouge and Carapace on their side, it’s not enough.

Chat Noir hears Ladybug call out for her lucky charm and watches the tennis racket fall into her hands. 

She can tell by the way her face scrunches that she doesn’t know what to do. She twirls the object in her hands, checking it from every angle, as their akuma runs farther away.

“We have to go after him!” Chat Noir calls over his shoulder as he starts vaulting in the direction of the newest victim.

“Wait! I don’t know what to do!”

She sounds desperate and confused and terrified. He looks back to see her frantically looking all around, growing more and more restless the longer she can’t think of a plan.

“It’s okay, Ladybug, we’ll figure something out!”

But she doesn’t hear him. She runs her fingers over the plastic handle, tries to rip out the strings of the head, and cries out when she smashes it on the ground. The pieces scatter around her guided by the wind in a chaotic twirl and he’s so startled he shifts his weight too far to the side and falls, crashing hard into the ground. His body hit the pavement first but his head isn’t far behind and his arm gets twisted so painfully he wishes it would tear off. 

His head spins and he blinks against the darkness threatening to swallow his vision.

Ladybug calls out to him in distress but all he can think about is the akuma running farther and farther away. 

His partner drops down to his side, pushing his bangs off his face and checking his head, but her movements are unsteady and her breathing ragged. She’s muttering to herself and he can’t make out the words, but he knows it can’t be good.

“He’s getting away,” Chat Noir tries to say, but it feels weird on his tongue and he can tell Ladybug doesn’t understand him.

The harder he tries, the less it works until his senses are only filled with the broken girl crying over him, her pigtails dripping water onto his torso and the chanting “I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t” that lulls him to sleep. ~~~

Chat Noir doesn’t remember what happens, but when he wakes up, the akuma is gone. He can still feel the phantom pains in his arm and head and almost doesn’t want to try and move, but when he looks up and makes eye contact with his partner, his choice is taken away.

She barrels into him, tucking his head against her chin tightly and clutching at his shoulders. He doesn’t hurt at all.

“You did it,” he sighs against her, a deep warmth permeating his chest. “You saved everyone.”

He thinks she’s rocking him until he feels a large shudder rack her body and realizes she’s sobbing.

He pulls his head away from her and tries to sit up on his forearms. “My lady…?”

“I can’t do this, Chat Noir.” 

Her tears fall on his suit and he feels powerless to stop them.

“I’m not—I can’t do it!” Ladybug’s words bounce between buildings, echoing through the night. Her head falls into her hands and her shoulders shake as she struggles to hold back tears. He doesn’t know what to do. He wants to wrap an arm around her and hold her tight. Let her know she’s not alone, she’ll never be alone, tell her she’s incredible and strong and compassionate and brave and everything. She is his everything. 

“Ladybug,” he reaches out to press his hand to her cheek, but she pulls away. “What do you mean? Please,” he begs. “Tell me. I know you. You can do anything.”

“That’s just it! I can’t. I can’t do anything.”

“I don’t—” “Who they think I am—who they want me to be—I’m not her.” Her words catch in her throat, head lolling to the side so he can see the anguish in her eyes. “I’m just not.” 

“You don’t have to be anyone, Ladybug. We need you.Whoever you are.”

“You’re not getting it! Living up to this pressure, to this responsibility, it’s too much. What happens when my best isn’t good enough? When everyone’s put all their hope on me—and I’m just a person, Chat! I’m just a person.”

He clasps her hand tightly in both of his and pulls it to his chest, stroking her knuckles in soft circles. He ducks his head, desperately trying to find her eyes, make her listen to him.

“You’re a hero because you’re just a person, Ladybug.” He plasters her hand on his chest and strains to make her feel his words as he says them. “You sacrifice everything for this city, for these people. You shoulder responsibility that you never could have expected—that you never asked for. You’re a hero because you’re just a person who chooses to do whatever she can to save the city she loves.”  

His heart beats erratically and he’s winded from forgetting to breathe. “Not everyone could do that.”

“But can I do that? Why do you have so much faith in me, Chat?” she bangs her fists against his chest, but there’s no real strength behind it. “Why can’t I have just one person I won’t let down?”

“You could never—” he tries to interject, but Ladybug isn’t finished.

“He got away because of me! You got hurt because of me!” She grips his upper arm and shakes him. “I wasn’t—I wasn’t good enough.”

Ladybug’s eyes blink rapidly as she tries to stop the tears from falling, but it’s futile.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

He lets her cry, watches her fall apart next to him as the sobs wrack her body. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and though she resists for a moment, she turns her head into his neck and her tears mix with the sweat on his collarbone. 

He doesn’t speak until she’s spent, just rubs her back and holds her close. When she finally tires and slumps down next to him, her head finds comfort on his chest as they both lie back against the concrete roof.

Clouds stretch out over them, long wisps reflecting orange and purple and pink as the sun sets. He doesn’t know exactly how long they’ve been out, but he wonders how much longer she’ll allow him to stay with her. He probably doesn’t have much more time.

“I think,” he clears his throat “sometimes...being a hero just means being the kind of person you need. It just means being there.”

She tilts her head to look up at him, sniffling. “What does it matter if I’m there if I can’t help? Showing up is useless if I can’t save everyone.”

He presses his lips to the top of her head. “The world is better off because you choose to fight, Ladybug. It’s hard, and you’ve been given more responsibility than any of us, but we believe in you. I believe in you. Maybe the rest of Paris doesn’t know what you’re capable of, but I do. And I’m here to fight by your side because you’re you.”

“You mean you wouldn’t help out another Ladybug if need be?” she teases.

“Hmm,” he taps a claw to his chin in thought. “Maybe if they had eyes just as pretty as yours.”

She elbows him in the side without any force and her smile is brilliant. It’s contagious. 

“I’m your other half, my lady, and you’re mine. We’re heroes because we’re heroes together.”

“Together,” she echoes, nestling deeper into his side.