#my asks!!

The two of you were settled at your favorite spot in District 12. At the meadow, resting up against a tree, safe and comfortable in each other’s arms. Haymitch's hand was resting comfortably on your arm, drawing imaginary lines there with his thumb as the two of you watched the birds fly by. 

“I wish we were like the birds,” you murmur quietly, comfortable and cozy against your boyfriend’s chest. 

He makes a noise that sounds something like a laugh as he gently squeezes your arm before continuing to draw meaningless lines and symbols there. “The birds?” He questions gently.

You nod your head in seriousness, in a way that makes him want to laugh a little more again, but he refrains himself, instead opting to press a kiss to the top of your head. “Why do you wish we were like the birds, sweetheart?” He asks gently. 

You pause before replying, waiting a beat as the nearby birds chirp by before letting out a small sigh. “They’re so free. They can fly off to wherever they want; meanwhile, we’re just stuck here.”

Haymitch hums in response, letting the thought play around in his brain as he rests his chin on the top of your head. You take it as an invitation to snuggle closer to him. He takes it as an invitation to hold you tighter to him. “I don’t mind being stuck down here if I’m with you,” he says, words slightly muffled against the top of your head as he places another kiss there. 

“You’re such a sap,” you say in a tone that Haymitch knows is all in jest, even with your words slightly slurred together.

He doesn’t say anything in return with that. Just gently cups your face and angles it so he can kiss you, smiling against your lips when he hears the slightly muffled sound of your drunken giggles. “I love you,” he murmurs in between kisses, smiling as your soft laughter continues. He swears he could get drunk off that sound alone. Who needs alcohol when your laughter was the best thing he has ever heard?

He pulls away with one final, quick peck to your lips, his thumb rubbing gently at your cheek as he looks at you like you were the best thing he had ever seen. “And I wouldn’t mind being birds either so long as you were there.”

Your smile grows at his words as you begin leaning into his touch, which continues to do something funny to his already racing heart. “I’m glad you agree,” you say in what Haymitch assumes to be in complete seriousness and sincerity, but it's a little hard to pay attention when you’re looking up at him like that, and he's feeling the slightest bit dizzy. 

“We would be geese,” you announce as you pull yourself off him to lie down on the warm grass, movements slightly uncoordinated from the alcohol. 

“Gesse?” He questions as he lies down on the grass as well, wrapping an arm around you and gently pulling you closer to his side. 

You’re quick to oblige, nodding your head yes as you scoot yourself closer to his warmth. “Mhmm, they’re together for life,” you murmur as you close your eyes to the feeling of Haymitch gently rubbing your back. That was another thing about you, you were also a sleepy drunk. Meaning Haymitch’s two options were to either wake you up so the two of you could walk home, or carry you home so you could stay asleep, as he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. Especially when you looked so pretty asleep. He usually chose the latter. 

But Steve had graduated already, and you and your new friend Robin Buckley were about to as well. And though she was very close with your old best friend, you had successfully managed to not have to see or interact with him. Until Robin tried to bring the both of you to the same party to “finally close old wounds,” and so her two best friends could become friends again. 

“Robin, I love you, but I really don’t want to see Steve again,”  you say, plucking a carrot out of the girl’s lunch container as she lets out a small groan. 

“Come on,” she says through a sigh. “Steve’s changed since high school, I promise. And he said he wants to see you to apologize.”

“If I say he’s forgiven, will you both leave it alone?” You ask light-heartedly. 

Robin only rolls her eyes before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Please? It’d mean a lot to me if my two best friends didn’t hate each other. I want to go out with  both of you on my birthday and not worry about any past tension.”

Now it’s your turn to sigh. “I don’t hate him,” you mumble with a small smile. 

“Really?” Robin asks in a tone that tells you that she does not believe you one bit.

“Alright, alright,” you say through a laugh and a roll of your eyes. “I’ll go to the stupid party, happy?”

Robin nods her head yes exaggeratedly before moving to eat the sandwich she had packed herself for lunch. “Very,” she mumbles through a mouthful. 

***

Steve and Robin had been at the party for a total of fifteen minutes before they finally caught sight of you. A stumbling, drunk, you.

“Didn’t the party start an hour ago? Why is she already wasted?” Steve asks as the two of them make their way towards you. 

Robin only shrugs. “Maybe she’s nervous?” She suggests, before tapping you on your shoulder to get your attention. 

“Hi, Robin!” you exclaimed when you saw your friend, quickly pulling her into a hug.

She, awkwardly, hugs you back with an amused laugh before gesturing to Steve when you eventually pull away. “You remember Steve, right?”

Your smile quickly vanishes, turning sour as you look at Steve.

“Uh, hi,” he says through an awkward cough. He hadn’t spoken to you in years,  but he had seen you around, small-town perks. Even kept tabs on you through Robin (or, at least, what she was willing to tell him before jokingly calling him a weirdo for asking so many questions about his old friend). And though he was sure you probably wouldn’t think too favorably of him after all this time (especially after Robin told him that she had to practically beg you to say yes to seeing him again), he wasn’t expecting such a bitter look on your face. Though he probably should have expected it. He couldn’t blame you for being upset at him for abandoning you for his new “cooler” friends. Especially when he himself was upset at the fact that he had abandoned you for two people who now meant nothing to him. Who probably meant nothing to him back then, too. 

“Ho– how are you?” Steve asked, scratching at the back of his neck with what he hoped to be a friendly, not at all nervous or awkward, smile. 

“I’m fine,” you mumble coldly before reaching for a cup to take a sip of it. 

Robin’s quick to stop you, taking it out of your hands with a scrunched-up face despite your drunken protests. 

“No, who knows whose drink this is, it’s probably gross," she mumbles at your pout. "I’ll get you a new one.”

You sigh, crossing your arms, but nod at your friend in reluctant agreement. 

Robin smiles widely at that. “Great!” She exclaims before gently pulling Steve a couple of feet away from you. “I’m gonna get her another beer, can you watch her? And try to get her to like you again? My birthdays in a few months and–“

“And you want to hang out with both of us, yeah, yeah, I got it,” Steve nods along in agreement. Though the slight annoyance in his voice was quite obvious to anyone who knew him as well as Robin did. “How am I supposed to get her to like me if she’s like this?” Steve asks, gesturing a hand to you, who had your arms crossed and currently looked like you were trying to set him on fire with your gaze alone. 

If looks could kill.

“Please,” Robin pleads again as Steve lets out a sigh, dragging a frustrated hand down his face. 

“Alright, alright,” he mumbled, placing his hands on his friend’s arms and gently maneuvering her towards the kitchen.“Just don’t take too long.”

Robin gave a mock salute before quickly making her way towards the kitchen, before Steve could change his mind, or you could complain. She was really lucky she was one of Steve’s only friends. 

Steve let out one final sigh before making his way back to you. He called out your name, and you were quick to shoot daggers at him yet again.

Great. This was going great.

“Look,” he murmured softly, “I know I was a dick to you, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for any of it. I mean, hell, I wouldn’t forgive myself either if I were in your shoes. But I do want to apologize, because you didn’t deserve me being such a shitty friend to you. And, if I could go back and change it all, I would. In a heartbeat.”

Steve wasn’t even sure if you were even listening to him. The minute he had started talking, you turned your gaze to the side, suddenly finding the nearby lamp very interesting as you spent the entirety of his apology staring at it. 

He couldn’t blame you. He really couldn’t. He knows he messed up, he knows he was a dick, but he had let Robin’s initial optimism get hold of him and let himself believe that maybe you would forgive him. That maybe, the two of you could be friends again, and that you, him, and Robin could all hang out together sometime. It was wishful thinking, it really was. 

“I never understood why you stopped talking to me,” you mumbled, words slightly slurred together as you still refused to look at Steve. But, you were talking to him, and that was honesty way more than he had ever expected. 

“I was stupid,” he replied when you never said anything else. “And, I’m sorry. So sorry. If I could go back and change it all, I would,” he repeats.

He sighs when you don’t respond. Just keep staring at that lampshade like it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen in the world. 

He stretched his neck to see if he could spot Robin in the crowd, see if she could help the two of you find some middle ground, or at least bring back that cheery person you were when you first saw her. He hates to think that he was the reason why your mood turned so sour so quickly. That you were likely this sad and upset when he first distanced himself from you all those years ago. It made his stomach churn uncomfortably. 

But, maybe he deserved that– to be uncomfortable in the mess he had started back in his freshman year because he was too preoccupied with trying to be deemed cool. Maybe if he hadn’t cared then, you, him, and Robin could all be friends. Or, maybe he would have acted on his feelings from back then, and the two of you would have been dating because he–

“You know I really liked you in middle school,” you murmur, finally pulling your gaze away from the stupid lampshade to look up at him.

Oh.

He really was an idiot back then, wasn’t he?

He finally caught sight of Robin, only to see her in a very animated conversation with a certain redhead. 

Fuck.

“You did?” He asks, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. 

You nod in all seriousness, though your movements are slightly slow and sluggish. “I did,” you answer. “I thought you found out and maybe that’s why you stopped talking to me.”

Steve wasn't sure if that was you or the alcohol talking, but never had wished a hole would open up beneath him and swallow him whole more than right now. Because he never wanted you to think something like that. Not when he had spent most of his eighth-grade year wishing you liked him back. Not when he invited you to the eighth-grade prom even though you were a year below him. Not when he overanalyzed everything to figure out if you had liked him back.

Steve loved Robin; he really, truly did. With all his heart. But he didn’t know if he could do this anymore. How was he supposed to look at you, look at those eyes, and explain that no, actually, he had liked you too. And that he was just a stupid, stupid boy in ninth grade who never deserved the girl in front of him in the first place. Back then or now. 

“That’s not why I stopped talking to you,” Steve murmured through a sad sigh. “In fact, I wish I had known that you did like me, cause I liked you too back then.”

Your eyes go comically wide at that, and it’s almost enough to pull a smile out of Steve.

“What?” You ask, suddenly sounding far less sulky and moody than before. That did get a smile out of Steve, because it had been far too long since he had seen that smile, and he couldn’t believe he had forgotten the funny feeling it did to his stomach when he saw it. All these years later, and he was still a goner for that smile. 

“I did,” Steve responds through a laugh, nodding his head. “A lot,” he adds, “It was kind of embarrassing.”

“Woah,” you mumble under your breath as Robin finally makes her way back towards the two of you, thank god.

“Sorry I took so long, I got lost,” Robin mumbles, handing you a red solo cup as Steve nods, unconvinced. “How are things going here?”

Before Steve gets much of a chance to reply, you’re pulling Robin a few feet away from him, stumbling while you do so, and whispering something in her ear that causes Robin’s eyes to go wide as she laughs directly at him. 

“You’re such a dingus,” Robin laughs, and Steve can’t help but roll his eyes cause he already knows exactly what you told her, and it’s causing his face and neck to burn. 

“Shut up,” Steve mumbles as Robin shakes her head no and gently pulls you closer to Steve again.

“It’s just too funny, man,” she laughs as you take a sip of your drink.

***

Steve didn’t really think you would ever forgive him. Not only because he hadn’t expected you to, but also because you were drunk for the entirety of his apology. Which, looking back on now, he totally gets. If he could have been drunk to get through his apology without feeling worried or overthinking everything, he just might have done it.

But you deserved better than a drunken apology, so maybe it was good he didn’t go that route. Even if, looking back now, it was incredibly tempting. 

Steve was in the middle of making himself breakfast when he heard the phone ringing. So, with a sigh and a quick wish that his pancakes wouldn’t burn while he was on the phone, he walked over to it and picked it up. “Harrington residence,” he answered. 

“She wants to hang out,” Robin said, voice slightly crackly through the phone. “The three of us, on Thursday, when we’re done with our shift. She wants to go to the arcade.”

It’s funny how you could have thought you had gotten over a crush on someone years ago, only for your heart to start racing wildly in your chest at the thought of hanging out with that someone. At the thought of seeing that someone again.

Peter was also learning that he was probably a lightweight. An embarrassing revelation when he was two drinks in and already clinging to your side, afraid to let go as if you would somehow disappear to one of the many villains he’s faced if he did. It was especially embarrassing when, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that the two of you weren’t dating. You were just friends who had met in your Bio 1 class, and he had caught feelings way too quickly. And yet, you didn’t seem to mind him being practically glued to your side. And if you weren’t complaining, then well, who was he to pull himself off of you?

“Are you comfortable there?” You asked through a laugh, handing him a glass of water which he happily took, brushing his fingers against yours and letting them linger for probably longer than he should have. 

Peter took a few sips from the glass before nodding his head a few times, a smile playing on his lips. “I’m really comfortable,” he told you, words slightly slurring together as you let out another soft laugh, one that made his stomach feel a little weird. Or maybe that feeling was due to the beer. In all honesty, he couldn’t really tell. “And I’m having a lot of fun,” he said before taking another sip from his glass. 

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ll feel the same tomorrow morning,” you tease with a small shrug of your shoulders. You wouldn’t be surprised if Peter didn’t leave his dorm at all tomorrow morning, too busy nursing his growing hangover that you inadvertently caused. 

Peter shook his head no at your words, looking at you with all the seriousness he could muster now in his drunken state before telling you softly, “Well I got to be with you, so of course I’m having fun.”

His words, the way he was looking at you, the fact that he had been stuck to your side all night, it was all doing something silly to your already racing heart. But you decided to ignore it for tonight, if only to help keep Peter on his very uncoordinated, very drunken feet. 

“I had fun with you too, Pete,” you say through a small laugh, “but we should probably get you back to your dorm soon so you can start catching up on sleep, yeah?”

He mumbles something unintelligible that sounds close to a complaint or some other noise of disapproval, but followsyou anyway, because of course, Peter can’t stand to be very far away from you tonight. 

The walk to the dorm hall was a quiet, chilly one, with Peter’s jacket draped over your shoulders due to his insistence and your hand held tightly in his, not that you minded. It was nice. He was nice.

“Thanks for inviting me to the party,” Peter says, looking at you with a happy, dopey smile as his words continue to slur together. 

You laugh despite yourself, but nod along to his words with a smile of your own. “Course, Peter, anytime. Just hopefully next time you won’t have to wake up the next morning with a massive hangover.”

Peter nods his head in agreement, but you don’t think he truly understands just how much pain he’ll be in come tomorrow morning. 

“You’re really pretty,” Peter mumbles, his hand holding onto yours just a little tighter as a shy smile slowly grows on his face. “I like spending time with you, I like you.” Peter says as the two of you make your way towards the dorm hall, almost making you stop dead in your tracks. Almost, if it weren’t for him gently pulling you into the building. 

“How drunk are you right now?” You ask through a laugh.

“I could run a marathon,” is all he replies as the two of you enter the elevator to his floor. 

You can’t help but laugh again, a teasing smile on your face as you lead him to his dorm so he can go to bed. “I’m sure,” you murmur, as he fumbles through his keys to unlock the door. “We should talk about this tomorrow when you’re more sober,” you murmur. 

Peter only scoffs, as if the idea was ridiculous. “I’m very sober,” he murmurs, words slurring together in a very un-sober manner. 

“Then when it’s not nearing 2 am,” you mumble with a soft, sweet smile that is almost enough to make Peter’s knees go weak right then and there. “Goodnight, Peter,” you say with a small laugh. 

“Tomorrow,” he mumbles, looking at you as seriously as he can right now, before wishing you a goodnight as well. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t look like normal was in the cards for you, because not long after Dustin came home from his science camp, he was already telling you and Steve about a secret Russian transmission he had intercepted. Which of course led the two boys to investigate, roping Robin and Lucas’s little sister Erica into it, only for it to all be directly connected to the Upside Down. Great. 

You feel like you’ve lived a million lives since then, and though you came out relatively unscathed from the mall fire and the Russian base, you couldn’t say the same for Steve, who, despite being beaten unconscious by the Russians, was currently tending to the wound you had gotten on the forehead from one of the guards knocking you unconscious. Painful, yes. But definitely nowhere near as much pain as he must be in right now. You could tell he would have a lot of bruising soon, especially around his eye. You felt a little sick if you stared there for too long. 

“Y’know, I really feel like I should be cleaning you up right now,” you murmured as Steve began disinfecting your wound. 

“Sorry,” he whispered when you winced. You shook your head, silently telling him it was fine. He sighed before picking up another gauze. “I’d rather clean you up first,” he said with a weak smile. “Ladies first,” he added with a wink. 

You roll your eyes. Steve Harrington has always been like this for as long as you can remember. Always putting others before himself. Always putting you before himself, always taking care of you, even when the two of you were just kids. You could vividly remember scraping your knee during recess back in elementary school, only for Steve to run to the nurse's office to get you a Band-Aid completely unprovoked. He had always been kind, always been sweet, even if he got a little lost along the way back in high school. But he’s changed since high school and has learned from his past mistakes. He became the Steve you knew before Tommy and Carol, and slowly you found yourself falling for your best friend. 

“Still,” you murmur as he begins applying ointment to the wound. By the time you start your argument, he’d already be done cleaning you up, and you would have started on him, but still, this was important. He was important. Even if sometimes he didn't act like it. “No offense, but you look awful–“

“Ouch,” he muttered with a hand to his heart. “And here I thought I was a lady’s man,” he jokes, wiping his hands clean before applying a bandaid to your forehead and helping you hop off the bathroom counter. 

“Steve,” you say exasperatedly, rolling your eyes as he sits on the toilet cover. You pick up some alcohol and gauze to focus on cleaning up the dried blood all over his face. Your stomach churned at the thought of what he had to go through. 

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” he says, resting his hands comfortably on your waist as you begin cleaning at his jaw. 

He winces when the alcohol touches him, his hands gently squeezing at your sides as he exhales deeply. “Sorry,” you murmur back before continuing on with your rambling. “I’m just saying, you definitely got the short end of the stick here. It wouldn’t have been selfish or anything if you let me clean you first.”

Steve only shrugged at that, letting you tilt his head to the side as you began cleaning the dried blood off the side of his temple. They really did a number on him; it’s some miracle he’s even alive, that he's even here with you right now. You felt sick but didn’t say anything. You just wanted to be there for him, just like he had been there for you for every scraped knee, every nightmare since you first learned about the Upside Down, like he's here for you right now. 

The two of you stay silent for a while after that. The only real sound being the sharp inhale Steve took when the alcohol stung a little too much, and your quiet apologies that followed quickly after. It isn’t until you stare at his swollen eye, thinking about what to do to clean it, that he finally decides to break the silence. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more scared than when the guards knocked you out,” he mumbles, staring at the ground and avoiding your gaze. “I’ve fought literal monsters before, I’ve been beaten up so badly that I’ve passed out twice now, and none of that compares to when I saw his gun hit the back of your head.” He pauses, a shaky sigh escaping him as he finally looks up at you again with watery eyes, the sight doing nothing but breaking your heart. He says your name, the word coming out broken as he whispers, “I was so fucking scared. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you – I couldn’t forgive myself. I–”

You’re quick to cut him off by pulling him into a hug, rubbing at his back as he clings onto you like you would disappear right before him if he didn’t. “Steve, I’m okay,” you mumble as he sighs into you.

“I was so scared,” he repeats, voice slightly muffled through your shirt, though you can still hear the pain laced in each word. 

“I was scared when they threw you back into the room with Robin and me, and you were covered in blood and not waking up,” you mumble with a small sniffle. Steve only clings to you tighter. “I wish we could be normal teenagers and just hang out at the movies, or go to the 4th of July carnival instead of being trapped at the mall.”

Steve pulls away from you just enough to look up at you and see your tear-stricken face. He’s quick to wipe them away with as much of a smile as he can muster. You try to smile back, but you’re sure it comes out as more of a grimace than anything. 

“Normal teenagers don’t fight monsters?” He asks light-heartedly. “All the ones I know do,” he says, trying to pull an actual smile out of you. It must work because his smile brightens the slightest bit as his thumb moves from wiping away your tears to rubbing your cheek, his palm gently cupping your face. “There’s that smile,” he mumbles, “I like your smile.”

“Yeah, well,” you say through a sniffle, “I like when I don’t have to clean blood off my best friend.”

He laughs at that, a short, loud one as he drops his hand from your face and intertwines his fingers with yours. “You act like you wouldn’t have to do this without the Upside Down. Remember when I got in that fight with Jonathan? That was before we knew about the Upside Down.”

You roll your eyes at Steve, and it only causes his smile to grow wider, happy to see you happy. “Whatever, still Upside Down related.”

Instead of saying anything back, Steve only squeezes your hand. You squeeze his back, a sigh escaping him as he stares up at the ceiling. 

“Did you know I’ve had a thing for you since we were kids?” Steve asks quietly, so quietly you’re almost sure you’ve misheard him. 

“What?” You ask through a small laugh. “Are you still on drugs?”

Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “No,” Steve says, sounding slightly exasperated. “I was telling Robin about it while you fell asleep during Back to The Future.”

“Great movie,” you mumble as he lets out a small laugh. 

“She told me I should tell you in case one day I don’t get the chance to cause of our regular monster hunting.” He says, his hand still gently holding yours.

“Did you know I’ve also had a thing for you since we were kids?” You say through a laugh. 

Steve’s eyebrows shoot up at that, only causing you to laugh even more. “You’ve liked me since we were kids?” He asks, surprised. You nod your head yes with a smile. “Are you saying we could’ve been dating since forever ago and saved myself years of heartache?”

“Years?” you ask through a laugh. 

Steve nods in all seriousness. “Years,” he repeats, and then. “Do you wanna go to the diner tomorrow? On a date?”