You need to learn how to defend yourself better, Kunikida had told him. The former mafioso found this funny, but he was never known for his physical strength. He was good with a gun and good at quick thinking, but any time he’d have to brawl he was usually on the losing end. Admittedly, he was lanky and waify, and Kunikida had probably started to worry after the fight with the porters. He was still trying to realign his neck after that.

Dazai showed up to the usual spot they’d train, wearing his casual clothes that were much easier to work out in than his work clothes. He wanted to get it over with, and didn’t actually care if he learned much. In fact, he was much more excited to mess with Kunikida than to actually be taught by him. He fooled around on his game console when he hears Kunikida’s footsteps. He glances up, smiling at the other man.

Disappointment in yourself often leads to disappointment in others. Remembering how weak he was the day Mori had found him, remembering the sniveling face that stared back at him in the mirror that night, made him disgusted by the same expressions on his subordinate’s faces. Particularly one. 

The expressions that crossed Akutagawa’s face, the actions, his rage, infuriated Dazai in a way he couldn’t explain. Rage without cause had been a fault of his own for many years, a lack of tactical awareness that plagued many lower ranking members. Of course, Dazai would never admittedly address this psychology, and simply saw Akutagawa as unskilled. Not a reflection of what he had once felt. 

Nights alone were on Dazai’s short list of things he detested. Even though he branded himself as a lone wolf, only working with his ball-and-chain Chuuya, he was always his lowest when drinking at the bar with only the man behind the counter to accompany him. It wasn’t particularly anyone’s company he wanted, either. Odasaku said he was far to busy today, in his usual serious tone. Dazai wouldn’t have come because of this, but there was the slightest chance that Ango would make an appearance. 

Ango never showed up as often as Odasaku and himself did, but when the three of them were there together, it truly made Dazai feel something he couldn’t explain. A dull tugging inside his chest. Ango was even more elusive than them both, but that was expected of the man who knew everything. If anything, it made Dazai curious to spend time alone with him. 

Just as he had hoped, the jingling of door opening made Dazai swing around to meet Ango approaching from down the stairs. He smiled, clasping his hands together.

                                                do͏n҉'̕t ͜y҉o͘u͏ HA͢TE it̢ w͢he͘ǹ the҉y͜ ̨S͡CR̛E͢A̶M?̀

                                                       y̥͈͕̦͈̗̱ou͙̱ͅ ̰k̼̠ͅn̲̞̻oͅw̬͉̯͙̘̰̲,̥̦̫̦̪ ̰̻̖͙̣̩͚i͇̣͚̪͇'m̬̞ ̼͚̻̝̣̗̲a̺̟̘ ̜̖r̙̼e̬̞͔͈̖͕ͅa̦͓̝̣̠̖l ͇͚̪̜ͅf͓a̤n̞ ̳of͍̩̠̲ͅ ̜̝̹̩y̬̙̥̟o̯̼͚͕̻u͈̼̤̗̦̩̥r w̟̟̭̮̳̳ͅo̺̭̲̥r̝̼̗̫k̙͔.̩̹͇̙̱ i͎̝t͖̪ ͓̲r̞ͅe͍a̝̰̻̤̩̲͚l͚̼̞̮͕̪ḷ̗͇y̳̗̫̘̙ ̙͎i̯̺̺͚̣͕ṣ̮ ͎̟̙a̬̤͖̙̥͇ ̙̠̜͕PL͍ͅẸ̹͉A̯̤S̰̭̫̠̤U͎͔R̘͍͓̘̼̗ͅE̺̟.