#mussar

“Arrogance has an insatiable appetite for space. It claims. It occupies. It sprawls. It suffocates others. Every statement in its voice begins with “I.” The opposite extreme is self debasement. Shrinking from occupying any space whatsoever, it retracts meekly inside itself. It’s statements would never dare to being with “I,” although, in fact, if we listen carefully, they all do, because, whether we see ourselves as nothing or as everything, we are still preoccupied with the self, and both of these traits are, therefore, forms of narcissism. In Jewish terms, they are two variations on the theme of idolatry. Both extremes - whether we see ourselves as a god or a worm - are severe distortions of truth. Neither express humility. Neither is true so neither reflects accurate self-knowledge. The truth is toward the middle range, where there is room for self and other.”

Hidden Connections: Sinat Chinam, the destruction of the Temple and the death of the tzadik.

“However, in the Second Temple period the people were engaged in Torah study, observance of mitzvahs, and acts of kindness, so why was the Second Temple destroyed? It was destroyed due to the fact that there was baseless hatred during that period. This comes to teach you that the sin of baseless hatred is equivalent to the three severe transgressions: idol worship, forbidden sexual relations and bloodshed.”

~ (Yoma 9b)

The Talmud (Baba Mezia 30b) states that:

Rav Yochanan said: “Jerusalem was destroyed only because the judges ruled in accordance with the strict letter of the law, as opposed to ruling beyond the letter of the law.”

* Note: The allegation against the children of Israel during the second Beit Hamikdash era was that they learned Torah with feelings of pride and superiority. This is akin to revolting against the Kingship of Hashem. The Midrash states (Tanna d’vei Eliyahu Rabbah 1), “Good character precedes Torah.” Torah is meant to bring a person to perfect his actions (see Kiddushin 40b). If their Torah study did not accomplish this, they were obviously not learning in the correct way. Instead of according Torah its proper respect by living by its precepts, the nation scorned it by behaving diametrically opposed to its teachings. Therefore, the charges against them were much greater than those against the generation of the first Beit Hamikdash. During the first Temple era, the people neglected Torah study altogether. During the era of the second Temple, they learned Torah, but did not internalize its message.

At the end of the day, those who lived during the second Beit Hamikdash era were involved in Torah study, whereas those of the first Beit Hamikdash were not. How could the later generation be held so much more accountable, immersed as they were in the sea of Torah? How could their Torah study, the potion of life, not rub off on them, affording them the balm of positive character traits?

Am Yisrael’s fault was that they were not careful in avoiding avak lashon hara (evil speech against their fellow man and even righteous ones). Many people fall into the sin of avak lashon hara because it seems insignificant in their eyes. It is man’s nature to become accustomed to sin. The evil inclination is very subtle. Because Israel at the time of the Temple were negligent in seemingly small things, they eventually spoke lashon hara and committed other offenses between fellow Jews.

Secret sparks

It is taught by the Sages that the tzadikim as well as objects are considered holy when G‑d’s presence rests within them. Just as we have awe and reverence for a Torah scroll because of the G‑dliness vested in it, so, too, we have awe and reverence for a tzadik.

One my object, all we need is to focus on Torah study and the mitzvot!? On this the Talmud explains (Kesubos 111b) :

“You should attach yourself to Him, [i.e., to G‑d],” and asks, “How can one attach oneself to G‑d? G‑d is compared to fire, so how can you attach yourself to fire?”

It is explained there that the way to become connected to G‑d is by attaching and connecting oneself to a tzadik. Connecting to a tzadik is neither “un-Jewish” nor a spiritual luxury for a select group of truth seekers; on the contrary, it is the only method prescribed by the Torah to become truly connected to G‑d.

Hence now getting to our initial subject, the tzadik and the holy Temple are intimately connected. Hatred, disrespect of the tzadik is a desecration of G-d’s Name which is intimately connected to the tzadikim.

And so we are taught (Rosh Hashanah 18b) :

“The fast of the fifth (month) refers to Tishah B’Av, for on that date the house of our G‑d was burned. The fast of the seventh (month) refers to the third of Tishrei, for on that date, Gedaliah Ben Achikam was assassinated.... The [latter] day is included here to teach you that the death of the righteous is equivalent to the burning of the house of our G‑d.”

It is an obvious deduction that if the passing of a tzadik is like the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, then the life of the tzadik must also be similar to the purpose and function of the Beis HaMikdash.

It is also taught that during unto second Temple period when Yeshua of Nazareth a holy tzadik lived, he was sold to Rome and killed because of baseless hatred:

“But the word that is written in the Torah must be fulfilled: ‘They hated me without a cause.’ (John 15:25; Psalm 35:19; 69:4; 109:3).

The murder and death (silukim shel) of the righteous is very much connected to the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. The enemies of holiness understand that the tzadikim, just like the Temple, are the source of our spiritual well-being and must be eliminated.

Rabbi Eytan Kobre explains the dilemma:

“I sometimes try to imagine standing in the Beis Hamikdash at the unspeakably painful moment when the crazed Roman hordes first breached its holy walls, or when a flaming arrow first found its mark, igniting the blaze that would soon reduce Makom Hamikdash to smoldering ash. The true aveilus, of course, is over the complete destruction of the Bayis. But there’s a certain poignancy to that first brazen breach, the taking of a flame to the abode of the Master of the Universe. I close my eyes and witness it, and I cry inside.

If the demise of a tzadik is tantamount to the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, then perhaps an assault on the honor, certainly on the actual person of such a holy Jew, is nothing less than a flaming arrow aimed at Hashem’s dwelling place.”

In Midrash Eicha 1:37 explains that the death of the tzadik is even more tragic than the destruction of the holy Temple. This seeming contradiction is explained in Yoma 21b, where it states that the Shekhinah rested in the First Holy Temple but not in the Second. The Shekhinah dwells in the gadol haDor beis hamidrash (his Torah teachings), so his death is as tragic as the destruction of the First Temple (which housed the Shekhinah), and more tragic than the destruction of the Second Temple which did not house the Shekhinah.

My shul is offering a few short series classes. I’m super proud because it was my enthusiasm and pushing the powers-that-be that got these classes going. To be fair, they are old classes just dusted off and offered anew. But they wouldn’t have been offered at this time had I not asked for it. 

Tonight was the first of three classes about musar. Luckily, the senior rabbi is awesome enough to keep it from being super depressing and difficult - he has so many anecdotes and funny stories. The man is a walking encyclopedia and can connect any two disparate subjects. 

I have to admit, the highlight of my whole day was one of the other women in the class. I’ve never interacted with her. I haven’t ever seen her in person (that I knew of.) But she was in attendance the night I was introduced to the congregation. She was almost in awe of me (which made me super uncomfortable because I am just average.) Her awe stemmed from that ceremony where I was introduced. She said she couldn’t remember what I said, but she remembered how it made her feel. How moved she was. How proud she was. How something in what I said made her feel a deeper connection to her own spirituality/connection to God and Judaism. I am very flattered. 

During my Beit Din one of the panel of rabbis asked me about that moment I knew I wanted to convert. I explained that gut feeling that many converts know/feel. How I felt an inner peace, a literal and proverbial gut feeling. I explained how I get this odd sense that I poorly described as a high whenever I interact with anything Jewish - people, literature, Jumblr, etc. She said that feeling was God speaking to me. 

It reminds me of fictional work The Celestine Prophesy, where your life happens differently and you feel different when you are on “the right path” to the true you and your life purpose. 

Something I’ve been tossing back and forth in my brain and discussed a bit with my therapist is how my being there to offer support, to listen, maybe offer some advice or direction - that is my passion and frankly what I am really good at. That is part of why I got into Human Resources - to help people navigate employment laws and minimize how organizations can and do screw them over. 

My therapist thinks I could/should be a rabbi. I really don’t think that I could be for a congregation. I am daunted by the amount of knowledge and time it would take to even consider let alone reach that point.

But what if? What if this is my calling? My way to repair the world? The rabbi who said that feeling is God speaking to us was a community rabbi - not tied to a congregation. I have seen that there are converts who become rabbis. 

Passover: The Hillel Sandwich

Together or separate? The Sages disagreed on how one should eat the matzah and maror (bitter herbs) at the Passover Seder.

The Talmud in Berachot 49a admonishes us not to perform mitzvot “bundled together” (chavilot chavilot). We do not want to give the impression that mitzvot are an unwanted burden, an obligation that we wish to discharge as quickly as possible. For this reason, the majority opinion is that the two mitzvot of eating matzah and maror should be performed separately.

But Hillel’s custom was to place the pesach offering and the maror inside the matzah and eat them together like a sandwich. Why did Hillel combine these mitzvot together?

Matzah and Freedom

To understand Hillel’s opinion we must first examine the significance of matzah and maror. Matzah is a symbol of freedom. But what is freedom? Freedom does not mean sitting idle and unoccupied. True freedom means the opportunity to grow and develop according to our inner nature and natural gifts, without interference or coercion from outside influences. This freedom is symbolized by matzah, a simple food consisting solely of flour and water, unaffected by other ingredients and chemical processes.

In order to form the Jewish people as a holy nation, their national character needed to be independent of all foreign influences. They left Egypt free from the spiritual baggage of Egyptian culture. Thus we find that in preparation of bringing the Passover offering, they were commanded to “draw out and take for yourselves sheep” (Exod. 12:21). What does it mean to “draw out”? The Midrash explains that they needed to remove from within themselves any affinity to Egyptian idolatry (Mechilta ad loc).

With a clean slate, lacking any national character of their own, a holy character could then be imprinted on Israel’s national soul. This is part of the metaphor of matzah: it lacks any shape and taste of its own, so that the desired form and flavor may be properly imposed upon it.

The Message of Maror

Maror is the opposite of matzah; its bitterness is a symbol of servitude. But even servitude may have a positive value. An individual whose life’s ambition is to become a doctor must spend many years in medical school to achieve this goal. The long years of concentrated effort require great dedication and discipline. These years are a form of servitude - but a servitude that advances one’s final goal, and thus is ultimately a true expression of freedom.

This idea may also be applied to the Jewish people. Our souls are ingrained with a Divine nature, but we suffer from character imperfections that prevent us from realizing our inner nature. For this reason we need to accept upon ourselves a pleasant form of servitude, the service of God. We acquired this ability in Egypt. This is slavery’s positive contribution - it teaches one to accept the deferment of immediate desires and short-term goals.

This is the central message of maror: acceptance of life’s bitter aspects, with the knowledge that this forbearance and resolve will allow us to attain higher objectives. For this reason, we eat the maror only after eating the matzah - only after we have clarified our ultimate goals.

Discipline and Freedom

Now we may better understand the disagreement between Hillel and the other sages. Freedom, as symbolized by the matzah, reveals the inherent holiness of Israel and our natural love for God and Torah. This innate character enables us to overcome desires that do not concur with our elevated goals. It is through our persistence and dedication to the overall goal that we reveal our inner resources of freedom.

Both of these traits, freedom and servitude, need to be free to act without interference from one another. When a spirit of freedom and independence is appropriate, it should not be constrained by a servile attitude; and when discipline and a sense of duty are needed, they should not be disrupted by a desire for freedom. Thus, according to the majority opinion, we should eat the matzah and maror separately, indicating that each trait should be expressed to its fullest.

The ultimate goal, however, is attained only when we recognize that these two forces do not contradict one another. Joined together, they present the highest freedom, whose nobility and power is fully revealed when it wears the crown of lofty servitude: the service of the Holy King, a service that is freedom in its purest state.

Thus Hillel would eat the matzah and maror together. He sought to emphasize that freedom and slavery are not contradictory concepts. Generally speaking, the quality of servitude belongs more to the preparatory stage; but in the overall picture, the two forces are interrelated, complementing one another to attain the final goal.