"My name's Issac." Issac knew most super villains who came here were unpleasant. But this guy takes the cake! Come on stay focused! He came here for a single goal! "I actually wanted to talk to you about your opening for a new henchmen. Though I see this isn't the best time. I'll just leave my resume here and come back later."

Local man pays 500$ beacuse demon roommates destroyed a fucking fire hydrant. Not click bait! Very emotional!! Like this if you cry every fucking time.

"I drank my milk as a kid boss, I have very strong bones!" Yeah, how do you even explain to your new boss that you're under multiple satanic contacts?

"Lu is part of the reason I feel this fifty at thirty! She got drunk off her fancy wine, and got in a fight with Ms. Martin from across the street."

"What the shit? Where's my fucking truck!? I still have the keys, d-did someone maybe hotwire it? It was literally just in the garage like ten minutes ago." He was gonna call someone about it, but he felt a deep pit of dread in his stomach. The kind of dread that can only come from shenanigans!

Was he joking? No!

Is there a knife in his shoulder? Yes there is! But who cares? His soaps are on!

"If a person can't die through normal means but by supernatural means, do they count as a zombie? Asking for a friend."