leon is the one he was closest to, and the loss of a friend doesn't go without mourning, but it's juno's lifeless eyes that ravi keeps seeing every time he closes his eyes; her throat pouring out blood like an animal in a slaughter house. her death doesn't bring him grief, it brings him fear. if death has managed to do this to her, one of warden's own, how can he sit around and not imagine that his own family could be in danger? he checks his phone obsessively, refreshes group chats and social media a million times a minute -- irrational, he knows, but it's the only thing he can do, in a day with no tasks or chores to tend to.

the morning goes by in agony like that, both too fast and entirely too slow, his eyelids heavy with exhaustion. he knows this horror will soon loosen its grip around his heart, but the imagery is far too fresh to let go of, for now. when marcus sends a text from work saying he'll have lunch at home, ravi is grateful that he can busy himself with ordering food and setting up the table, instead of looking at screens until his eyes start to bleed.

"darling," he greets marcus by the door with a kiss, overly eager to have company again, the one presence who can put his mind at ease. "how was work?" it feels oddly out of place, to sound so trivial in such a stress-packed morning, but perhaps faking until he makes it is the goal.