Only in fic will you get sexy times instead of being blocked. Below are my Top 5 Favorite stories:
“Here Lies Steve Rogers, Death By Bucky Barnes” (E, 11k) by fingerprintbruises
Steve’s heart stopped for the second time that hour, and his body froze. He was going to die from a heart attack today, he just knew it. His headstone would read: Here lies Steve Rogers, a man killed by too many faux pas in one day.
+ Modern AU. Bucky gets an unexpected text, and sprints home
-☆-
“To Seek A Nood-er World” (E, 8k) by jehans
Send noodz
Steve has been staring at his phone for the last six minutes, eyes narrowed so much they’re almost closed at this point, trying to figure out what the hell Bucky means. Noodz? What the fuck are noodz?
Listen, Steve is at least marginally aware of modern pop culture. He’s heard of nudes — not that nudes are exactly a modern invention; artists have been creating them for millennia — and he does know that people tend to misspell words to be cute or funny. They did that when he was young, too. Because time is a flat circle, apparently.
But, wait—does that mean…?
No. Not possible. Bucky isn’t asking Steve to send him…nudes.
Right?
+ Post WS. A message fails to deliver, but it all works out in the end
-☆-
“Dickmanship” (E, 5k) by Bittersweet_in_Boston
Steve finds out what Mr. Silent Treatment Barnes thinks of that later that evening at Tony’s pizza party. Bucky’s not there - of course - so Steve shoves pizza into his face and hangs around with Sam and Natasha, trying not to sulk. Somewhere around his eighth slice of pepperoni, his ass buzzes. He pulls his phone out of his pants pocket and opens the text.
Buck u call that a dick pic
As Steve stares at the phone screen, another text comes through within seconds.
Buck this is a dick pic
In which Bucky and Steve fight via dick pics and everything escalates quickly.
+ Post WS. A disagreement over a mission leads to a four day dick pic war
-☆-
“Nothing in the world that could stop it” (E, 8k) by rainbow_nerds
Bucky just wanted to send his best friend a picture of his cat being an idiot while he was taking a bath. Was it really his fault for forgetting the full length mirror right opposite the tub?
Modern AU. If Steve’s going to take a dick pic, it’s going to be artistic
-☆-
“Felt Cute, Might Delete Later” (E, 5k) by MurphyAT
Steve meets Bucky while canvassing for racial justice. Later that night, he sends him a dick pic (on accident! He swears!). He is the worst volunteer ever and he is totally getting fired for this.
---------------------------
"I am not drunk," Steve said. "I’m like, respectably tipsy. Like an adult after a hard day of social justice work. I’m an…adult.”
Steve looked down at himself. He was wearing She-Ra slippers and the sweatpants that had a small hole in the crotch. He was holding a Shirley Temple with two shots of vodka in it, and a phone that still plainly displayed the artistically shot nude he always sent to signal a booty call with whoever he had sex with last. An artistically shot nude that he had sent, instead, to the one hot guy on his whole canvassing list that had invited him in and given him a glass of water and asked him intelligent questions while he’d signed the petition.
Fuck.
+ Modern AU. Steve is appropriately apologetic, Bucky really doesn’t mind
-☆-
*More Stucky Recs here
