#murk posts

the world where eddie calls and he's a little breathless and scared but so so excited and is like. Buck. I've been thinking a lot. while I've been here. and I think—no. I know I am. I'm gay. and buck on the other end experiencing his very last defense against the In Love With Eddie Allegations being decimated by the Eddie Is Gay atomic bomb is just like. Wow. That's Great, Man. Gotta Go Bye! and eddie who went into this phone call assuming they'd end it deciding on a date for their wedding bc clearly and obviously they've been in love with each other for seven whole years. is like. What?

buck throwing himself into being a good great supportive best friend by helping eddie househunt and pack (bc he failed in his initial subconscious job of Fixing It and having chris come home). and eddie watches and smiles and plays along while thinking. huh. he's taking this. really well. like it doesn't bother him that I'm leaving. like he's perfectly fine seeing me go. which is good. which is fine. its fine. meanwhile buck is actually experiencing an internal core meltdown

"he'll come around, you did." as in remember when I was an awful absent dad (implying you are an absent dad, even though you aren't, even though this all happened bc we took ur kid away)

eddie and buck standing in the kitchen after eddie comes back—eddie's kitchen which was buck's kitchen and is now for this dreamlike moment of time buck-and-eddie's kitchen—and it's late. they've been unpacking all day and chris is asleep in his room, everyone finally where they belong, and eddie's like. hey, what're you thinking abt, bc buck can't seem to look at him and also can't seem to look away. and buck's like. oh. um. its. hah. really stupid. just. we kind of forgot to hug? but it's not—it's whatever. and eddie who has been thinking abt the exact same thing since buck gave chris a big teary bear-hug on the doorstep and then—didn't touch eddie, is like oh. well. we could do it now. you know, like a belated hello. if you want. and buck stares at him for a moment. and says, hey eddie. and eddie says, hey. and they step in close. and it's just a hug but it feels tentative. important. when buck wraps his arms around him and tucks his face into his neck, eddie can feel both their hearts racing, way too fast for what's happening. and neither of them has anywhere else to be, maybe ever again, so they hold each other tightly in the kitchen for a very very very long time.

buddie emergency blood transfusion in the field and the daniel and connor+kameron of it all. buck would be soooo relieved if his blood could flow right into eddies body. it would be like. completeness. making up for everything his body ever failed to do by using it to save eddie. and eddie would lie there the whole time gritting his teeth thinking things like "your body isn't just pieces to give away". when buck finally notices he's gonna be like "are you... MAD at me right now??? you'd do the same fucking thing for me!" and eddie delirious from blood loss still has it in him to spit, "I'd do it for you. you'd die for fucking anyone" and then he'd pass out so buck gets to sit there and think about that all alone.