#murhderbdb

Jane:  *Silence spread through the tunnel as I walked down to the room where Mary was waiting for me.  The past few days had been challenging on both me and Manny with all the injuries and the double shifts.  Manny avoided me like the plague, or tried to at least, but that wasn’t always possible since we spent almost every waking moment working together.  Two weeks had passed since I told both Murh and Manny that I didn’t choose either of them.  It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was a necessary one.  Ever since I got involved in this world it has been chaos.  And Murh and Manny didn’t make that any easier.  I wanted to find peace amidst this chaos, and I wasn’t gonna find that with Manny angry, and Murh losing his temper, all the time.  Finding time for myself left a small window of opportunity, which was usually interrupted by some issue with Murhder.  

Murh convinced himself I was his shellan, even though that was never the case.  Even after weeks of trying to convince him I wasn’t mated to anyone, he still had trouble letting go of the insane idea that I was his.  Nothing I did worked.  I finally reached my limit with Murh and now I was bringing Mary in to assist.  I was hoping she could get through to him since no one else has been able to.  My hand reached out for the door handle and I pushed the door open to find Mary sitting on the chair in the small office.  Manny and I didn’t really use the office much.  Ehlena used the office most of the time to update patient files from the charts and folders Manny and I give her, which made this the perfect place for this quick meeting before the big deceit*

Hey, Mary.  Thanks for agreeing to this.  I know you’re also busy, and you know I wouldn’t have asked you to do this if I didn’t think it would help and was needed.

*Taking a seat opposite Mary, I smiled and crossed my legs at the ankles*

Mary: Mary sat at the desk in the tiny office, looking around. Unsurprisingly it was extremely neat almost as if it wasn't used that often. Of course with how busy the medical wing was, it wasn't much of a surprise but Mary had expected there to be loose files or scrap paper laying about, yet nothing. Maybe it was one of the doggen keeping things tidy or the medical staff like Manny or Ehlena made sure the office was always presentable no matter how busy the medical wing was. Regardless, it was obviously a quiet place in the midst of the chaos. Mary Had already heard plenty about Muhrder and how he was seemingly obsessed with Jane and creating plenty of problems for both her and the entire mansion with his behaviour. Mary had done her best to not get involved too deeply, though her being compassionate she hadn’t been able to completely keep her mouth completely shut. Which was probably why she had agreed to help Jane out with him in the shape of counseling sessions. Her train of thought was interrupted when Jane entered the room, looking slightly worried, if mary had to say anything about her. Unusual for the calm and collected doctor, though with the chaos the mansion was in, it was perfectly understandable that even Jane could get shaken, especially with everything going on with Muhrder.

Listening to Jane, Mary nodded and offered a soft smile. “Oh, don’t mention it, Jane. I know how worked up everyone is, so of course. I’m only happy to do my part to make sure things here run as smoothly as they can”, she said and tilted her head a bit. “So tell me about his case, please. I’d like to know what I’m dealing with as best I can”

Jane:   *Scenes of the past few months rushed through my mind, flashing in bits and pieces as if my brain was trying to syphon the important parts and sort it into some prioritized order.  Murh was as complicated as he was insane, and the two of us together… Well, that was my own fault.  I shifted on the chair as I started talking*

Where do I start… *I took a moment to think* Murh needs help and I can’t give it to him.  I tried before and it lead to us having a sexual affair.  We are both adults and neither of us are mated, therefor I didn’t see any problem with it, until… Well, Murh became very possessive, to the point of madness.  He has a history of mental health problems which is what I was busy helping him with.  Wrath had asked me to assess his mental health before he was cleared for rotation, and well…  the rest is history as they say.  The entire family knows what transpired down here in the med wing before Murh was locked up.

I would appreciate it if you could assess him and see if you are able to work with him to get him through this.  We need him back as a functioning member of the Brotherhood.

Mary:   Mary listened to jane, nodding along as the story went on. Even she had heard of some of the events that had transpired but there was new information mixed into what jane told her. The fact that the two had been in a sexual relationship would definitely complicate the matter, but perhaps not make it impossible, even with Muhr’s mind being all jumbled up.

“So, if I understand you correctly, you’d like for me to help him move on from you and focus his attention on fighting rather than you, and to assess whether or not he is suited to be added into the nightly rotation. Is that accurate?”, Mary asked and looked to Jane with one of her professionalism looks. Mary had her thoughts about how Jane had been having sex with someone that technically was her patient, but in reality she couldn’t really say all that much about it. It could quite literally happen to anyone and with Jane being a single woman among the stunning vampires, it’s not like Mary could really blame her. Truth be told, it wasn’t like they were able to go out and meet men and have relations with them. Wrath’s head would likely explode before his temper, if they ever presented that idea and cause him to say things like ‘Over my fucking dead body!’ She gave Jane a determined nod and offered a smile. It wasn’t her place to judge nor did she intend to do that in any way, shape or form. Instead she was going to glance over it, because it shouldn’t matter with how their lives were set up. “I’ll certainly do what I can to help him, and give an assessment as well. If we can get more out in the field, it’ll be better for the race as a whole”

Jane:   *A faint smile lifted one corner of my mouth, and I relaxed back against the chair*  Thank you, Mary.  I am aware this is a delicate matter and I am grateful for your willingness to help me out.  

Now the next part will be the most challenging.  I need to get Murh to come in here to sit and speak to you, but he won’t do it if he knows what we are doing.  I will have to trick him into thinking I want to talk to him, but I will be here with you and Murh the whole time until you are comfortable being alone with him.

One more thing… I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about this.  Wrath and the Brothers won’t approve of Murh being near me, but I can’t do this without being involved.

Mary:   Mary shook her head softly. “Jane please.... There’s no need to thank me at all. I’m only happy to do my part, and truth be told, it’s the only thing I can do”, she said and offered a smile. “Besides, you’ve always helped Rhage when he got injured, so this is my way of paying you back. I’d have been worried sick so many times, if it hadn’t been for your medical expertise, so in terms of peace of mind, this is my repayment”, she said and sat back in her chair. Her head tilted as Jane explained the scheme she had to set up for Muhr. This wasn’t exactly new, and it only made the situation more delicate. Having someone like Muhr around in general was a gamble, but tricking him was outright insane, but often a necessary evil.

“I understand, Jane”, she said and nodded. “Listen, I’ll be looking to have you out as soon as possible though. You’ll be a distraction for him which will stop him from looking internally and progress”, she explained. “I just wanted to be clear about that. And of course, I won’t tell anyone of what we are doing. Honestly, with everything going on, I’d sound like the abandoned woman that had gone mad and wanted attention at any cost”, she remarked with a smile.

That last bit was something she was afraid would happen. Now that Rhage had left her, she had avoided everyone,  not wanting to seem like she was craving attention. Sure, she was lonely, but that was no excuse to become pathetic.

Jane:  *I took a deep breath and got up.  My stomach knotted a little because I had no idea how Murh was going to react to this and the last thing I needed was for him to lose his temper again and become violent.  I gave Mary a reassuring smile, or at least I thought that’s what I was doing, but it was her smile that reassured me.

When I reached the door I stopped and took another few breaths before opening it and walking down the tunnels to the training center.  Murh was doing rounds with the boxing bag and… okay wow, he did look good…  

I shook my head to clear it and walked into the room*  Murh!  *I shouted loud enough for him to hear me*  Could I speak to you for a bit.  You may want to change clothes.  I’ll wait outside.

Murhder:   *My fists cracked under the pressure with each blow to the red bag.  My knuckles were wrapped in cloths but that was it.  I wanted this to fucking hurt.  I needed this to fucking hurt.  Each blow took me closer to the edge.  Jane was all that was on my mind.  She was MINE.  How fucking dare she tell me to move on.  How fucking dare she do that to me.  Throw me one side like a rag doll she’s outgrown.  Fuck her.  As the next blow struck I hear Jane’s voice and pivoted around to see her standing in the doorway.  Fuck.  She took my breath away every time I saw her.  Her mouth was moving but I wasn’t catching all of it.  My ears were zinging.  Fuck.  Okay something about getting changed and she’s waiting for me.  Yeah.  Some shit like that.  I stepped back and removed the cloth from both hands.  My gym bag was lying to the left of me.  I grabbed my clothes out and changed without bothering to wash up.  I wasn’t wasting time on that shit when all I wanted was to be near Jane.  After about 4 minutes I was out in the tunnel where she was waiting*.  What’s it?  Is everything okay? 

Jane:   *With a nod, I turned and walked down the tunnel*  This way.  I’d like to talk where it’s more private  *the knot in my stomach twisted and it took a couple of tries when I reached out for the door, to go corporeal.  As the door slid open, I stepped aside and let Murh step in first.  As soon as he was in, I closed the door behind us and blocked his exit.  I had some hope that he wouldn’t try to go through me to get out*

Murh, this is Mary.  She’s going to talk to us… you for a bit.  Only talk.  Please stay and listen to what she has to say.  Please…

*It didn’t take a genius to figure out Murh was angry.  If he could, he would be spitting fire right now.  I gelled myself to the door and watched him carefully.  He didn’t move*

Mary: Mary turned her head as both Murhder and Jane entered into the room. She offers a polite and quite professional smile as she can almost feel just how much Jane is on guard with him in the room. She extends her hand towards Murhder and tilts her head. “Hello Murhder. It’s very nice to meet you”, she said in as neutral a tone as possible. She didn’t want to seem judgy or condescending in any way, so it was important to stay as neutral as possible.  

Murhder: *Jane fucking tricked me.  The bitch is trying to get rid of me.  I will fucking kill her!  The female in the room spoke up with ease and for a second I felt my shoulders ease down.  My fists still clenched and unclenched.  I wanted to hit something.  FUCK.  The blow that followed didn’t surprise me.  My fist collided with the wall behind me right next to Jane’s body.  My hand ached as I pulled it back.  The wall was fucking solid.  Jane’s reaction to this is what changed the moment.  She flinched and pulled to one side and the look on her face was fear.  She feared what I would do next.  What I would do to her.  I was a fucking monster.  The air in the room shifted.  I sensed it.  The other female tensed up as if she anticipated more violence from me. I swore i wouldn’t be /that/ person again.  I wouldn’t go violent on or around a female and that’s exactly what I was doing.  My eyes darkened to black as I watched Jane regain her form*.  This is on you Jane.  This is your fucking fault.  You know better than to corner me like this.

Jane:   *This was my fault.  All of this.  I knew that, but it didn’t change anything.  I had to fix it and that is what I was trying to do.  I was struggling to keep my form solid, but for Mary’s sake I wanted this to seem as normal as it possibly could.  I waited a few moments before stepping away from the door.  My heart was still beating a trail right out of my chest, but somehow I knew this was it.  There would be no more violence from Murh.  Something… maybe the look on his face… I don’t know… but something changed a minute ago after he hit that wall.  I moved away because I thought he was aiming for me, but he wasn't.  It was over, or at least his anger tantrum was over*

I know and I’m sorry.  I need you to do this for you.  Not for me, but for you.  Mary is very capable of seeing you through this.  Trust us to help you.

*I didn’t give him a chance to argue. Placing my hand on his arm, I guided him to the chair opposite Mary and I stood next to him*

Mary: Seeing Murhder react with violence was not exactly a surprise to Mary, but it did still make her flinch. She covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from making a sound, though she was sure the fact she was startled and had flinched was obvious. Muhrder was agitated and he was openly blaming Jane for it, though something did seem to have shifted. Like he was realising that anger wasn’t the solution to getting rid of his frustrations. She nodded as Jane lead Muhrder to the chair, and took a second to center herself and refocus on being calm and collected. “Well then, it’s still very nice to meet you, Murhder. Is your hand okay? I’d very much hate it if you were in pain while we talk to each other”, she said and looked to him. Her natural worry-wart personality was starting to shine through, even if she was a bit on guard. Definitely she needed to have Jane out of the sessions as soon as possible, to be able to really get any sort of breakthrough with Murhder.

Murhder:   *Jane stood next to me and I could almost taste her.  My cock did a double take of what the fucks.  I wanted her now.  I would take her on that small fucking desk or against the wall if I had to in front of this female.  I couldn’t care less.  I wanted Jane under me.  Not next to me.  The female’s soft voice rung out in the small room.  Jane picked the right room for this.  Anything bigger and i might have a problem hearing the soft voice over the thundering of the blood in my veins.  I shifted my weight around in the chair.  The fuking thing was too small for me and my cock was making it impossible to sit still.  I turned to Jane*.  Jane.  I’m doing this for you.  Not for me.  I don’t want to be here.  You want me to be here.  Let’s be clear on that.

Jane:   *Sighing exhaustedly and rocking back on my feet, I almost lost my balance.  After the grueling 72 hour shift and very little to eat I was about to faint.  I had to get my sugar levels up if I was gonna make it through this session, but leaving now to go get hot chocolate wasn’t an option.  With a soft sigh I lowered myself  next to Murh and placed my hand on his arm.  He was nervous about this as much as he was angry.  He didn’t want to let go and right now I wanted him to know I would be with him every step of the way, but he needed to do this for himself.  My green eyes met his dark stare and I spoke soft enough for only him to hear*

Murh, you’ve got this.  I won’t drop you in the deep end.  I’m here for you, but you have to do this on your own.

*I got up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning to Mary*  He should be okay now.  I will be right outside if you need me for anything.  Two doors down.

Mary:   Mary let the two have their moment together. She knew, from what Jane had told her, that the connection between was ran very deep with Murhder, and from what Mary could tell, Jane was also deeply attached to him, though obviously in a different way. She stayed quiet as they had their intensive stares and couldn’t help but give off a little smile as Murhder declared he would do this, even if it was more for Jane than himself. He was willing and that was key in the process. Mary offered Jane a smile and a nod. “Thank you, Jane. I’ll be sure to get you if need be. Don’t worry, he’s in good hands”, she said and let Jane walk out the door.  She turned to Murhder and offered him yet another one of her professional smiles. “Right, first thing you need to know, Murhder, is that whatever you tell me during these talks stays between you and me. I’m not telling anyone what we talk about”, she said and paused to await his answer. Murhder:  *The room shifted when Jane shared a intimate moment with me. It was her way of telling me she will never leave me.  No matter what.  I already knew that but getting the reassurance from Jane changed everything.  Even if she wasn’t my shellan she would still my person.  The special person in my life I share everything with.  As I watched her walk out the room I felt my heart break.  I felt a piece of myself leaving.  She was the better part of me.  I didn’t want to let go but I had to.  It’s what Jane wanted.  I turned my focus back to the female and nodded as she spoke*  Yeah.  It’s between us.  I get it.

Mary:   Mary nodded at Murhder and looked to him. He seemed content with how things were, but of course, anyone could put up a front and hide their true feelings. Lord knew, mary was an expert at that. No, she needed to dig a bit, to get to Murhder, but that required a whole lot of legwork, that much was obvious. “Good. So, tell me about yourself. Anything at all. And, if you want to ask about me, you’re more than welcome to do that too. After today, you can decide how we do these talks. Maybe while you work out, or outside walking around. It doesn’t have to be in small spaces like this at all”, she said and looked to Murh. It was her experience with therapy sessions that the more control you could offer to the patient, the sooner they relaxed and opened up to you.

Murhder:   *Jane’s scent still lingered in the room which didn’t help my cock situation.  I shifted some more and wanted to get up and walk around.  I stopped myself and listened to the female.  Mary…. Yeah that was her name.  She was everything Jane wasn’t and that was a good thing.  Especially right now.  What?  We can do this somewhere else?  Why didn’t she fucking start with that line*.  Yeah.  I don’t want to be here in this room.  I feel restricted and it’s doing my head in.  I need air. *I needed more than air but the female didn’t need to know that*.  What’s your deal?  Why are you doing this?  What’s in it for you?

Mary:    Mary nodded and stood up, keeping her movements soft so Murhder always knew what she was doing. There was no reason to get him worked up with sharp and sudden movements after all. “Right, let’s talk a walk then. Do you want to use the hallway, or maybe go all the way outside?”, she asked and looked to Murhder as she opened the door to the small room to let both of them out. She blinked a few times as Murhder fired a line of questions at her, while not surprising that he did ask questions, Mary hadn’t expected those particular ones at all. “In it for me? Well, for starters, this is what I do for the vampire race. I’m a therapist of sorts and a natural helper, you could say. Part of my nature”, she said with a smile. “As for what’s in it for me… A purpose, I’d say. And the satisfaction of knowing I made a difference for someone. That’s about it”, she said and looked to Murhder. “Why do you ask?”

Murhder:  *Getting up was a prayer answered.  My legs ached as I stretched them out and once we were walking down the tunnels it felt a shit load better.  I didn’t answer the females question.  I took the lead and steered the picnic down the tunnels and out the back door past the garages.  Once outside I could feel myself breathe again.  My pants weren’t as tight but that was thanks to not smelling Jane anymore.  The walk and talk thing could work somehow.  I led the way toward the gardens and took in the view as we descended to the lower level*.  I ask because I don’t know why any female would want to be close to me after what happened.  I’m surprised Wrath approved this.

Mary: Mary followed Murhder, her feet having to rush to keep up with him at first as he almost stormed out of the tunnels and out into the open air. She didn’t pressure him to talk, since that would be counterproductive, but rather she followed him to see where he would go. She looked to him as he finally started talking, listening to him answering her question with a very rational answer. So he obviously was aware that others perceived him as both unstable and dangerous, though she tried avoiding those words at any cost herself. “Well, from what I can tell with what I’ve seen so far, I’m not in danger with you at all. I don’t think you’d purposely hurt anyone. The past isn’t important right now, it’s how you are now that’s important”, she said and looked to the male. “Let’s not worry about Wrath for the time being. I’d much rather hear about you, Murhder. Tell me about yourself”

Murhder:  *The past isn’t important?  That’s the reason I was in this mess.  But if she wanted to skip that part I wasn’t gonna argue*.  No you’re not in danger.  I don’t make a habit of attacking females.  Jane IS MINE.  Or was mine.  I walked in on her and that Rat kissing and I fucking lost it.  That shit happens to everyone at some point.  I know it does.  We all have our breaking points.  *I had to breathe slow and deep.  Slow and deep.  Just thinking about that day made the hair on my arms stand up*.

Mary: Mary looked to Murhder as he spoke, nodding her head a bit as she listened to him. She had been right to try and stay out of that whole thing. It was a mess and a half, but there was something she could do here. Murh was heartbroken, it was obvious, so at least they had that in common. They had just reacted very differently to it, and one could always argue which one of them had handled it better. Mary knew exactly what Murhder likely needed. A distraction. Something to help him take his mind off of Jane and move on. Easier said than done, naturally, with how he was seemingly obsessed. It was clear though, that Murhder was considering Jane’s feelings quite heavily and respected her choices, even if he was deeply hurt. “Does it hurt when you think about those things, Murhder?”, she asked knowing how stupid the question was, but she needed to know If Murhder was aware of his own feelings and that they could have a physical effect on him.

Murhder:  *What was she talking about?*.  Hurt when I think about Jane with that Rat?  Yeah it fucking hurts.  She didn’t choose him and that makes the hurt so much fucking better but she didn’t choose me either.  Look.  Let me tell you how this is gonna go.  We are gonna take a nice walk through the gardens to kill some time.  You can ask your questions if you’d like but at the end of all this nothing is going to change.  I’m still gonna be fucked up and Jane is still gonna be the only female in the world who……  *who fucking what….  Rejected me?  Broke my heart?  Yeah not going there*.  Jane is the only female for me.  There is no other female out there for me and we are an animalistic race.  We have to mate.  It’s a driving force in us and when we meet /that/ one.  There is no stopping us.

Mary: Mary listened to Murhder, letting him air his frustrations directly in her face. It was good he got some things off of his chest and by all means, if he wanted to unload on her she welcomed it if anything. “Murhder, I know how the vampire race works when it comes to all that stuff. But as animalistic as you are, you can still move on. Feelings can change, if you let them”, she said and offered him another profesional smile. She wanted to reassure him, encourage him to at least give things a try. He had walls up, and she wanted to lower them, but that would take a lot of effort on her part. Effort she was willing to give. “Alright, we’ll take our walks and you’ll talk. I don’t expect you to change who you are, but maybe have you see more of the big picture. Have you zoom out, so to speak”