#munrants

been thinking about the abuse that bianca endured from roy - there was certainly a lot of physical trauma involved but i haven't really explored the mental/spiritual torment she endured during her grandtech years.

roy tried to control literally every aspect of her life --; who she saw, who she spent her time with, if she dated anyone, set her up with doctors that he essentially 'owned'.

at first, it began really small. asking how she was doing, if she needed anything, to starting to demand she'd tell him what she was up to pretty much daily until she wouldn't be let go from his line of sight.

i think she was essentially groomed into believing he wanted what was best for her, and she let him take that control at first. she was young, scared and naive -- then to break free from it.

bilingual? check

bisexual? check

debating on adding two more verses; one with a superpower au ; where Binary has the ability to teleport through bluetooth devices (inspired by her mha version)

the past au; one that takes place before shit hits the fan at GrandTech and she's just an executive assistant trying to do the best with what life has dealt her

im gonna try to get to drafts because my brain needs to disconnect from the shitty workday but also if i dont end up posting anything at all you guys can just assume i died (inside)

It’s like

The unholy trinity of the worst fucking things to deal with(especially growing up in a small, mostly white community that exists in the south, because lord only knows how fucking little my fellow southern americans really and truly understand of how this shit fucking works and how badly your brain is fucked)

Like hello brain can you please stop screaming about the birds that flew by the window ten fucking minutes ago for one fucking second while i try to finish this homework i have on the day it’s due because my anxiety makes me fear failure but my depression tells me that if i just hide away in my room and do nothing all day then everything will be just fucking fine

Because depression says

“Fuck this shit, you have all the fucking time in the world. Go procrastinate so you can hate yourself some more.”

While Anxiety says

“nONONONONO DO NOT DO THAT OR THIS OR ANYTHING BECAUSE IT MIGHT KILL YOU OR THROW YOUR LIFE DOWN THE DRAIN”

And at the same time, your ADHD is just screaming about some random bullshit that popped into your mind half a second ago and now you can’t fucking think because your brain is screaming about 500 different things at once

Soooo to sum it up...

I have anxiety by some random fucking ironic coincidence of unholy black magic shit or something because I’m the only person in my family to have anxiety by genetics and no one in my immediately family(that i know of) even had it before i was born

And I have ADHD because said anxiety deprived child me of child things because i was constantly terrified i was gonna die

And oH BOY GUESS WHAT INDIRECTLY CAUSED MY DEPRESSION

(you win ten points if you guessed adhd)

Oops sorry i went off on a rant...