⧠* Âş ⢠➠ â @multisignis
ă muse: park moonsoo  !  ă opposite: ku manyoung ! ăverse: college !
   itâs not like the junior astronomy major is easily distracted, heâs always been one thatâs able to focus with almost sheer will and isnât known to be a social butterfly as he is mostly a recluse with his nose in his textbooks. at night he ponders how he got himself into this mess, why he ever decided to let the popular boy at college with the ice persona be his roommate from freshman year to now, hell he doesnât even know when they started becoming friends. the agreement was sort of unspoken and maybe it was late nights together in a cramped apartment that really sealed it, getting to know the other beyond his outside exterior. moonsoo doesnât even recall when the lines of friendship and something more blurred either, doesnât recall it ever really being spoken and often contemplated that the sleep deprived kisses at 3 am most nights were just jokes and nothing serious, manyoung wouldnât be interested in him as anything more than a friend as his reputation would be ruined.Â
   he wishes it was easy to forget manyoungâs soft lips against his own, to stop wanting to feel them when he knows fairy tales donât exist and the peasant doesnât get the prince even if movies say differently, they are only fictional. the la boy knows that nothing good can ever happen to him, especially with his preference towards boys than girls and itâs evident with his family life, being removed from most special occasions. maybe thatâs why moonsoo is cautious with this, with manyoung and wherever this is going, he doesnât desire something akin to just a hook up or something to have on the side and wants commitment. he wonders if manyoung knows what he feels, the other has always been the most perceptive and moonsoo has always been an open book, the uneasiness sits like a stone in his stomach.
    his foot taps rapidly against the floor, his eyes darting from the textbook on the table to the male across from him and his teeth worrying his bottom lip. park moonsoo has never been good at keeping thoughts to himself for too long, itâs like it bubbles out of his lips eventually and he randomly blurts out the thoughts itching on his mind. fingers curling into his sleeves before pushing his glasses up on his face as they were slipping down, just like this thought was slipping out almost like an exhale of breath, â what are we manyoung? i donât know what we are. do you think we are just friends? it wonât break my heart if we are, but i donât think friends kiss each other at 3 am even if they are severely sleep deprived, so we should probably stop. â it all rushes out and moonsoo regrets saying it, regrets letting his anxiety get the better of him, contemplates running home to not face manyoungâs answer and stall the inevitable ruining of this friendship because moonsoo is apparently really good at ruining things with his big mouth.
