every day can be hard monday when you have a bad memory!!! rewatching old podcast episodes and smiling like it's the first time I've heard any of this!!
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every day can be hard monday when you have a bad memory!!! rewatching old podcast episodes and smiling like it's the first time I've heard any of this!!

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every so often i think about monochrome dan and phil and immediately get such a gut wrenching ache in my heart. i don't think I've ever had a fic hit so close to home for me. Dan's depression feels so similar to mine and i find myself rereading (I've reread it twice now, and probably will again soon) it to try and internalize the messages and lessons they learn. pair that with you will get through this night and it gives me just enough hope.
monochrome you make me unwell. god...
was looking through old pictures and found this one of when my bf was gonna leave for uni. i did bring truth bombs everywhere. its quite sweet finding this hehe. like they've been there the whole time.. in the background of my life til now.
funnily enough one of the things that brought me and my boyfriend together was muse!! reheating dan and phil nachos dear god
happy birthday dan howell!!! to be real parasocial real quick, thank you for bringing a smile to my face, to being an inspiration, to being a loud joyous creature, making me laugh so hard I can't breathe and to making me believe that things can get better. you are so important and I can't thank you enough for the impact you've had on my life. happy birthday dude. im really bad at putting my thoughts down. if i actually wanted to get what i was feeling across id have to grab you and shake you. thanks for everything dan.
the weather is a paid actor. the rain just started to pick up while fake plastic trees is playing and I'm looking at dan and phil gifs. fuck offfff

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i also own the emo axolotl from build a bear but i bought him before i got into dan and phil so now its like kinda. a nice surprise. foreshadowing if you will. amazing phil is in my house.
sup dude.
Saw your post and I just wanna say that I sadly havent been keeping up with d&p a lot recently as my mental health has been absolute shit and havent had the energy. But from what im seeing on tumblr rn, I'm loving this Hard Launch era. Like the boys seem so genuinely happy and content in their life and as basically an OG (2012 phannie 🤪) it makes me so very fucking happy. Like I remember the younows and when Dan was, admittedly, very closed off.
I mean even when they were soft launching and stuff, I saw the change and now fully out in the open, I am truly blessed to be alive for this (as cruel as the current state of the world is being to my mental health). Seeing D&P living their best life is truly a blessing (in the gayest way possible)
hi!! first off, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling that great :( its hard to engage with the things you love when you feel like shit. much love and i hope things get better soon <3
the hard launch era is so fun i agree!! I can't really comment at all on what it's been like before that because i wasn't around or was far too young to know, but after going back through older videos and reading what others have said, watching their coming out videos after the hard launch, it's just so crazy. i have a hard time realizing that they're the same people, they just seem so much lighter. i can't imagine how hard and heavy it must've been weighing down on them.
I've seen a couple younows and other clips from old live streams and it's so hard seeing how much dan was trying.
my first exposure was basically im gay i think, and going in basically blind (haha) to that was quite interesting. i had only just started to come to terms with my own queerness and i think it's really amazing how both dan and phil became the people they needed when they were younger and the impact they had on me definitely helped, even when i didn't know who they were properly.
seeing all of the soft launch era videos too, they're just so warm and comforting. its a "we know you know" kinda thing but i especially love seeing them go oh my gosh we can just be ourselves now. the vibes were so good. it's even more fun now. im not making sense i don't think others have put it far more articulately than i ever could.
i just really love seeing queer people be themselves. especially after all they've been through. it gives me some hope that things will be like that when I'm their age. im so grateful to live in the same time as them.
i would like to share that i’ve been trying to watch every single dnp video from all of their channels IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER ever since july…. i take breaks when i get burnt out from watching but so far im at 2016 i believe LMAO
holy shit thats really impressive!! i tried doing that chronological playlist and i think i made it to. early 2009. i just don't have the attention span for it despite this being the only thing im interested in right now. but old school phil has a place in my heart.
still - 2016!! wow. i should try to go again haha.