every day can be hard monday when you have a bad memory!!! rewatching old podcast episodes and smiling like it's the first time I've heard any of this!!

every so often i think about monochrome dan and phil and immediately get such a gut wrenching ache in my heart. i don't think I've ever had a fic hit so close to home for me. Dan's depression feels so similar to mine and i find myself rereading (I've reread it twice now, and probably will again soon) it to try and internalize the messages and lessons they learn. pair that with you will get through this night and it gives me just enough hope.

i feel like bella in new moon.. waiting for the twilight philm club.. i have no patience.. TORTURE.

rewatching introverts and it's a real smack in the face to see how much of themselves they were holding back. several times I'd see a glint of something i recognize from every unhinged hard monday in dans eyes and i just felt so strange. it was still entertaining but maan. the song at the end will make me cry every time. it is also. extremely funny. tonal whiplash if u will. because im staring at quiff phil yelling bitch in his rap and thinking about how it's the same guy who said kicked her pussy up the wall.

i have been far too tired to think or formulate any thoughts related to dip and pip. i wanna make a playlist eventually of songs that remind me of them, (fic versions of them too) but im mentally pooped. uhh they mean a lot to me but if i think about it my head hurts. take my wip i am procrastinating finishing.