#muellerschmitz

Cut The Cord, If You Can

Growing increasingly drained by married life and motherhood all while juggling her career, Hannah needs nothing more than to fix her life at home before she flies to Montreal. Instead she's driven the hour to Banbury to see Laura. With the walls closing in around her she needs to mend things with the one person who truly sees her.

'Laura shouldn't see her this weak. She needed to turn the tenderness into something ugly, pervert Laura’s kindness into submission. Hannah moves her face inward, pressing her mouth against Laura’s neck. Knowing Laura would do anything for a kind word, a wound she had not yet healed. She should be decent and tell her to fix it before it starts limiting her work, as a good mentor should. She doesn’t. Not when she can keep pulling it apart like wet tissue paper whenever she needs to feel better.'

Saviour Complex

The first meeting of Hannah and Laura at the 2022 Brazilian grand prix.

'Unfortunately Laura was pretty, perhaps too pretty, Hannah thinks as she observes her. Long caramel hair, full mouth, curvy figure unspoiled by pregnancy or airport junk food. A girl who drank beer, liked cars, and laughed at their bad jokes - men unable to see it was out of wanting to be included, made Laura probably the ideal woman to a significant portion of the paddock. The rest would either deem her too pretty to have a working brain and instantly assume Laura is mentally defective and needs coddling. Or, even worse, want to see her humiliated. Rubbing at their insecurity for the crime of being a woman who was smarter and more attractive than them; in need of being put in her place.'

Pain, Will You Return It?

Laura had blocked Hannah after their last meeting in May, unable to take the constant swings in her emotion. Hannah spirals in Monza after a stupid error costs Red Bull much needed championship points.

Hannah’s hand grasps her chin almost painfully. Keeping Laura’s eyes firmly on hers. ‘I fucked you because you wouldn’t say a word to anyone, and you couldn’t get me pregnant. I used to think you also wouldn't give me anything,’ Hannah looks her up and down in a way that makes Laura’s cheeks flush with shame. ‘ –but now I’m not convinced… Fucking a driver is a bad idea …or so I’ve heard. Who knows where they’ve been...’ Hannah withdraws her hand sharply, leaving red marks on Laura’s skin where her grip had been. Laura felt her body tense, breathing getting ragged; if there had ever been a time she’d been as angry, she couldn’t recall it now. ‘And totally not because you’re a fucking lesbian,’ Laura’s voice is spiteful.'

She's my Collar

In the weekend after the Singapore Grand Prix. Laura and Hannah spend an evening together again, trying their best to navigate the changes in their relationship after their fallout in Monza.

'They stand, quiet, looking at each other in a stalemate; Laura is too proud to beg Hannah for affection once again, and Hannah is afraid of being intimate with her without the shield of her rage to keep an emotional distance. ‘Just say it,’ Laura murmurs, her voice husky, trying to goad Hannah into action. ‘When have I ever refused you? Hannah’s mouth tightens, frustrated at Laura’s newfound backbone. ‘Stay with me tonight? Please?’ Laura reaches her hand out across the small distance between them, and in that moment, Hannah despises her, feeling far too emotionally exposed. She swats it away, closing the gap between them with a forceful kiss; Laura’s hands find the swell of Hannah’s hips, tugging Hannah flush against her.'