#mtihae

The sky is clear, the wind gentle. Were it not for the deafening racket of some men and women, I could dwell on and on about how beautiful the weather is today.

It is a sight hard to bypass - quite a commotion in our yard. I see some maids and manservants hanging around like bees to this honey called juicy gossip, and while I’d like to believe that I’m the sort of maiden who is beyond tattling, I quickly embrace myself into the flock of these busybodies.

Still, peering to the center of the ruckus, I wish I didn’t notice what was happening so swiftly. I see Laertes. I see a woman, a woman hugging another man’s arm, and I immediately figure it out. My dear brother, again with his scandalous venture with yet another lady, only to be faced with the wrath of her man. I would like to say I am shocked, but the sight strikes me with such staggering familiarity, that I find it exasperating to even remark on his indecency.

This is why I always tell him, and forgive me for such crude language of mine, to stop screwing around with madams and maidens, yet my brother would not bother to bat an ear. And... I narrowed my eyes, taking in the woman’s pretty feature yet blurry with tears. Is that the same woman at the Autumn’s Ball?? The one where he was trolling around smelling like a wicked abomination, while trying to lure lasses to bed?

The memory fills my mind instantly. You see, Laertes was recovering from a cold at the time, and, a thoughtful little sister as I was, I decided it was a wicked opportunity to pull a prank on him. A few twists and turns to his fragrance, and he was already walking around, completely oblivious to the smell that would probably stick to his clothes for quite a few days. Yet he still got the girl even all the odds… I do not know whether to be irked that my plan had failed, or extremely impressed.

The man, obviously, is not half as impressed as I might be, and I doubt he would be even if he had heard the full tale. I don't know what his relation to the woman is, an old pop or a sprightly spouse, but whatever it is, my goodness does he know his punch. I don’t mean it in a respected sort of way, but Laertes has surely met his opponent this time - that is to say if he even stood a chance! The man’s shadow alone topples all over Laertes’ figure, and from far away I can already see how hard my brother is struggling.

Let it be a lesson for him - I conclude - Maybe after this ordeal, he would finally know better than to seduce ladies so carelessly all the time. I think to myself as I witness my brother’s pained frown as the man strikes a kick on his stomach, his newly-formed bruise when he gets punched in the left cheek, and a few bleeds that were placed on his skin even before I came into the chaos…

God, you have got to be kidding me.

“My Lady!” Cries a servant. Her high-pitched voice is booming enough to halt all the movements. All at once, everyone turns to my side.

I cannot identify what kind of expression they make besides the panicked racket, as I am busy crouching, groaning, making my best effort to feign a false heart-attack. Is it the most childish and ridiculous ruse in existence? Yes. Is it effective? Wonderfully.

Laertes’ frightful expression takes over my vision as he rushes over and holds me in his arms. “Ophelia!” He cries. I lightly pinch his sleeves, silently signal him to partake in this little trick of mine. After a moment of confusion, and a considerable amount of relief spreading over his face, he gamely plays along.

“My sister is in grave danger!” He wails - as I scrunch my face in “pain” - and turns to the man who just fought with him a minute ago. “Quick! Get some help!”

I cannot see Laertes’ face, but based on the dreadfulness in his tone alone, I would say he’s a wicked actor.

A rumble of footsteps follows, and I take it that the man has conveniently believed our ruse. Still, I cannot let my guard down so easily. Cautiously peeking one of my eyes, I whisper to Laertes: “Is he gone?”  

In turn, my brother gives me the smuggest smile in existence.

“Thoroughly.”

We hurriedly get up, preparing ourselves to spring out of the scene. But before that, Laertes catches the eyes of the woman - who is still stunned by the swift turn of event - and gives her a good wink.