#msr analysis

So we start with Scully having lunch with an old Academy friend - Tom “Scumbag” Colton who insinuates that Scully should be focusing on progressing her career rather than toiling away in the basement looking for aliens with Mulder.  Now I don’t say he’s a scumbag for ragging on Mulder, I say he’s a scumbag because one of the first things out of his mouth is to tear down a supposed friend for getting a promotion before him.  Hey Colton if this “Marty” guy is such a loser, what does that make you? HUH? HUH?

Also, he ragged on Mulder.  What a butt nugget.

Dude, shows what you know.  20-odd years later and she’ll still be tapping that spooky ass.

Now in a rare moment of vulnerability, Mulder uses sarcastic, mock-shock humour to act oblivious to the fact he has any kind of negative “reputation”.  But it’s a front - a defence mechanism to deflect the fact he actually is, at least a little, bothered by being labelled “Spooky Mulder” - seen as a kook; him and his work never being taken seriously.  

It was no doubt a painful fall to go from the FBI’s most lauded profiler, to being considered a madman and a laughing stock.  So he has become the master of deflection using deadpan sarcasm, when he feels vulnerable, to shield himself from the kinds of comments he anticipates Scully’s academy friends have expressed to her.  But just for a moment, he doesn’t shield himself.  He is openly vulnerable when he reveals to her that he does care by asking if she thinks of him that way too.  

He’s looking for some kind of reassurance from her, and I think she sees that - she softens as he asks the question, which we don’t get an answer to, but we all know that she doesn’t think that way about him.   As much as she hates to admit it, she clearly finds him quite endearing; hot and endearing... Mulder, for the love of God, stop pouting.  The woman has to concentrate.

Also, roll it back a second... is Mulder checking Scully out for a moment before they start talking?  His eyes are roaming... seriously, look.

Yeah, he’s deffo checking her out.  Again, I really don’t think he’s especially conscious of doing it - which makes me love it even more.

Something else that happens in this scene, which unfortunately for Mulder, plays right into Scully’s building inner conflict about her career path, is his outright embarrassing her in front of Colton by playing up to his stereotype of being an E.T. loving nut bag.  

This coming hot off the heels of Scully defending Mulder to Colton.  She gets that he’s joking, but look at the way she widens her eyes when she realises what Mulder is doing.  Poor Scully.  She get’s his deadpan delivery is a joke - Colton somehow doesn’t.  Oops.

I’m British, it’s spelt grey. FIGHT ME.

Poor Scully, look at her face at the end, apologising to Colton with her eyes.  She’s mortified and Colton has just had his opinion of Mulder set in granite.

The next scene in their basement office is quite interesting to watch because it sets the blueprint of so many of their future interactions.  They are feeling their way around each other, and learning how their polar opposite methodologies can work together effectively.  

This episode is especially important in that regard, because Scully is clearly torn between wanting to do it Colton’s way - “by the book” and Mulder’s way - following the truth no matter where it leads, even if things turn to the fantastic and unconventional.

She’s drawn to Mulder in that regard, just as he’s drawn to her.  She’s a woman of science, after all, and any scientist worth their salt has to be open to all the evidence no matter how challenging, but boy does she ever find it challenging.  

She has moments - moments of awe at how Mulder puts the pieces together, and then it’s like she catches herself, remembering that they have to answer to the FBI, and her inner sceptic emerges to keep them both on the straight and narrow.  As Mulder himself will later proclaim in Fight the Future - her strict rationalism and science repeatedly saves his ass and keeps him honest.  So while it might be a frustrating process at times, it’s a necessary one, and Mulder appreciates that.

I also love that this scene introduces the Scully classic preamble.  “Are you suggesting...”

Ok before we move on, a couple things to add.  

One.  Personal space again.  Mulder, can you please stand closer?

Her face.  Seriously, she must be able to feel his body heat from that distance

Two.  I love how when Scully mockingly comes up with a crackpot theory based on what Mulder is saying, she actually hits the nail on the head more often than not.  She gets better and better at this over the years, to the point she really does know what he’s thinking as he’s thinking it.  

The final piece of dialogue in this scene is interesting, because Scully tells Mulder he’s not wanted on the case, that his theories are the reason he’s hidden away in the basement, to which Mulder retorts that she’s in the basement with him too.  

Careful, Mulder.

That comment seems to hit a little too close to home for Scully. After Colton’s ribbing and Mulder embarrassing her in front of him, she does appear to be seriously considering if she wants to be Mrs. Spooky for the long haul.  With the possibility of reassignment lingering in her thoughts, she can’t help but wonder if doing this with Mulder down in the basement is what she really wants.  

Oi.  Mind. Gutter. Out.

Mulder suggests that they have their own investigation separate from Colton and you can see the cogs turning for Scully.  

She knows she will have to make a choice soon, and poor cute!Mulder has no idea, he’s placed his trust in this new, unexpectedly wonderful partner and the idea that she might ditch him doesn’t appear to have crossed his mind in the slightest.  

But ditch him, she does.

So little side note, isn’t it weird that Scully is asked to come up with a profile for the killer?  She has no background in profiling that I am aware of.  So the fact that she comes up with a behavioural profile for Colton’s investigative team is kind of odd, right?  I mean, I’m British so what do I know of how the FBI works, and I’m a psychotherapist not a psychologist (there’s a difference) so equally what do I know of building a forensic psychological profile - but I found that strange.  Especially since Mulder is the hot-shot profiler between the two of them.

Still, as strange as it is - what’s stranger is watching Scully present her profile to VCS team.  

This career-driven side of Scully is not something we often see.  She clearly enjoys the recognition and praise from her colleagues but the conflict shes feeling only deepens when they allude to her using her success on this case as a way to ditch Mulder and the X-Files.  She has a loyalty to Mulder now, that she cannot ignore, and hearing their comments bothers her.  They don’t know him like she does - she’s becoming protective of him; and of their partnership.  

Her change in body language says it all really.  As much as she’s questioning whether she wants to remain working with Mulder, I think she’s also now questioning if this is where she belongs too, with people as small minded and closed off as this.  Mulder has opened her eyes to something, and as frustrating as he can be, his boundless passion and willingness to challenge convention appeals to her much more than conformity does.  You only have to take one look at her rebellious decision to join the FBI to understand that about her.

Now it’s time for Mulder to act a little insecure... Scully didn’t agree to Mulder’s suggestion that they investigate separately.  She decided to ditch Mulder and work with Colton and the VCS.  You think Mulder might have been a teenie bit wounded by that?  Just a lil bit?

Watch out Scully, there’s a lost puppy following you.

Think about it, they’re at the location of previous murders.  This is the office building from the opening of the episode, right?  So why is Mulder there at all if he doesn’t believe the murderer has any reason to revisit the location of past murders?  

He is specifically there for Scully, and to make this point to her - that she’s made the wrong choice in working with them; that she’s wrong about the case, and that she’d have half a clue if she’d read the X-File.  Read between the lines here - she’d have half a clue if she’d stuck with him instead of them.  He’s half trying to win her over and half resentful of her choice to ditch him.

It’d be kind of sweet really if it wasn’t so arrogant.  Because turns out, Scully was actually right.

I like how Mulder doesn’t make a fuss over admitting he was wrong either.  He isn’t defensive or put out, he simply states it as a matter of fact.  Someone raised that boy right.  

Hmm... well, kinda.

The next scene is great - MSR gold.  In fact, it’s a breakthrough for the Mulder-Scully relationship.  It’s where she makes her choice and decides to remain loyal to Mulder and their partnership - she chooses him over them, and it’s not hard to see why.

I’ll let you take a moment.  Deep breaths...

All done?

Years after the show ended, this image of him with a dark, brooding look on his face as Colton suggests taking Scully away from him lived on, clear as a bell, in my shipper heart.

It’s not hard to see why Scully chooses Mulder over the VCS.  They’re closed minded, and unwilling to even hear let alone investigate alternative theories.  As sceptical as Scully can be, she at least hears Mulder out and applies her scientific brain to the theories he presents.  Whereas these guys dismiss Mulder out-of-hand.  That’s not the kind of scientist - nor the kind of investigator Scully wants to be.

Also, those guys were being douchbags towards this man she feels protective over now.  As previously mentioned, she knows him in a way these guys don’t and so even when maybe Colton and his cronies have a point, she and Mulder are in a bubble together where she feels she is the only one who hears him, and she feels a responsibility to him now.  This develops deeper and deeper as their relationship grows.  To the point where they outright confess to each other repeatedly that they are the only one they feel this way towards “you are the only one I trust” etc.  This scene, is the genesis of those grand declarations in later seasons of the show.  

Colton, bless him, tries to act as Scully’s protector; thinking she’s still on his side but she rejects him - he’s the one on the outside now, not Mulder.

We’ve heard people’s opinions of Mulder when he’s not been there, but to see first hand what I imagine Mulder has had to deal with for quite some time, it makes you as the viewer protective of Mulder too.  Scully is the audiences’ champion, throwing her lot in with Mulder - they’re a team, and this is the first time she makes it clear to the FBI world that she’s not just following orders - she’s on Mulder’s side.

Go girl.

Now it’s time for your shipper hearts to go a flutter... It’s Mulder vs. personal space again.  Coupled with a rare admission of attachment to Scully.

So wait, wait... back up.  Did Mulder just admit that he was winding those guys up because he felt threatened by their attempts at taking her away from him?

That’s... like... quite unlike him, isn’t it?  To outright admit he is attached to her.  I mean, he struggles to acknowledge his feelings generally, so to just admit this to her like this feels oddly out of character.  I mean, I love it - I will take what I can get, but look at Scully’s face when he reaches for her pendant and she realises what he’s saying.  

We need to see that expression in hi-res.

Again, on the page it might not have meant to sound like Mulder was admitting he has an emotional attachment to her now, and Scully on the page, might not have meant to react like she’s just been told she’s the only woman in the world, but the acting by these two conjures up an undeniable sexually tension behind the words.

Isn’t it glorious?

Then that is immediately followed by Scully telling Mulder in not so many words, “I’m team Spooky.”

I love you, Scully.  Look how happy Mulder is.  Again they are in their bubble together - she’s the only one who hears him and is willing to open her mind to his way of thinking.  At this moment, Colton and a conventional FBI career has lost.  She chooses Mulder.  It’s over.  She’s a card carrying member of team Spooky now.

#GoTeamSpooky

They’re finally on the same page, working together and when that happens it’s magic.  Straight away they corroborate their theory that the murderer is Tooms.  Oh right, I haven’t mentioned that guy yet, huh.

They’re so great together as investigators, it’s fun to just watch them put the pieces together, challenging each other to refine their theories, never intellectually threatening one another, only raising each other up.

I love how Mulder sums up Scully’s theory of introjected sociopathic values being passed down through the generations of Tooms’ family.

They go to investigate Tooms old apartment and there’s some great classic moments here, not necessarily MSR, but certainly a few great character moments.  Also, this iconic shot.

So character moments, the first one is with Scully being a total badass and going down into the creepy murder dungeon first.  She doesn’t even flinch - she’s straight down that ladder... also, her hair touches Mulder’s face.  

Not that I think such trivial things are important at all.  *whistles*

Not to mention this classic Mulder-ism.  

Glen Morgan and James Wong certainly have a way with dialogue.

Things progress quickly from here, Tooms steals Scully’s necklace right from around her neck as he dangles from the ceiling of the murder dungeon, which sets her up as his next liver and onions victim.

Mulder thankfully works this out and rushes to Scully’s apartment, arriving just as Tooms attacks.

This is another dynamic that will oft be repeated in the show.  Some crazy psychotic killer targeting Scully, and Mulder arriving just in the nick of time to save her.  It’s a little cliché, but I have to admit, it also brings the two of them together and delivers on some great MSR moments, and it’s not like Scully doesn’t do her own fair share of saving.  It’s just not usually because some mad man has decided to target Mulder and murder him in his bathroom.  

People seem to try to murder Scully in her bathroom all the time.  I always wondered why she never moved.  So many creepy things have happened in that apartment.

Also, since Tooms’ ability is to contort his body to fit through small spaces, why doesn’t he just slip out of the handcuffs?  I mean, it makes sense that he doesn’t since Mulder is pointing a gun at him, but he’s yanking away at the cuffs, presumably to get free, but we know that he can easily do it if he wanted to.  Weird.

Then we come to the end, with Mulder musing about how people spend so much money on security systems trying to feel safe, but that when he looks at Tooms he realises that it’s not enough.  He’s disturbed by him, and Scully notices this.

It’s here we see one of the first examples of how they comfort each other with touch.  Whether its a rub of the arm, a hand hold, a hug, a kiss to the forehead... they develop this language of reassurance and care towards one another, and this is one of the first times we see it.  

It’s kind of amazing to go back and watch these episodes and see all of these firsts.

And that’s it for Squeeze.  Wow, seems each episode I do the longer these get!  But this was a pretty special episode, in that it’s a true classic of the series, the first truly golden episode that, amongst many others, is held up as one of the best in the entire show’s run.  I hope that my next episode won’t be quite this monstrously long, but hey, I hope you guys enjoy reading it all the same, because I have such fun writing it.

Next up... 1x04 - Conduit.

I love that the first line of my notes for this episode simply says: “Scully rocking the salmon and navy.”

She’s so beautiful in this episode - I mean, she’s beautiful in every episode - but she gets a few great wardrobe changes here and she looks so lovely.  Although the final outfit she dons is a zinger.  

My word. The 90′s, eh?

So we start with Scully arriving at the supposed basement office that clearly isn’t in the basement.  Seriously, watch how they they walk out of the office and straight into the bullpen.  

At first, I genuinely wondered if perhaps I’d not remember that they started in a normal office and get sent to the dungeons basement later (I last watched TXF over a decade ago guys, go easy on me) but a little Google research reveals that nope - this is simply a huge continuity error in this one episode.  Weird!

So anyway, Scully arrives, and to her amusement, finds Mulder catching up on some essential reading, perusing the latest issue of a fine gentleman’s literary publication.

You know... he was reading a dirty titty mag for filthy manslags. “Marty” will definitely be calling that super hot line, later.

Scully can barely contain herself.

I like the way Scully is totally chill with Mulder and his porn; she never gives him a hard time about it.  It’s an amusing aspect of Mulder’s character that’s mostly played for laughs - but the reality is he’s a man; he has needs and no one to satisfy them, (hands down ladies, no volunteers) despite the fact women do find him attractive.

I know, obvious statement is obvious.

But isn’t it true that one of the most unrealistic aspects of the X-Files is how celibate throughout the entire show he is?  I mean, just look at the guy.

....

Uhh... I’m sorry, what were we talking about again?

Oh yeah.

I don’t care who calls him Spooky, if there’s a single guy at my place of work who is witty and intelligent and looks like that, I’m trying my luck.  So where are all the single FBI ladies?  (I swear to God I didn’t Photoshop that picture, by the way.)

I just always found it intriguing that a guy with what appears to be a moderately high sex drive, barely ever has sex even though he quite easily could.  Remember season 6′s Dreamland I, Skinner’s secretary?  Yeah... ‘nuff said.  

I guess he just doesn’t have Morris Fletcher’s way with women?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he doesn’t get laid.  It plays nicely into my theory that while Scully is around, Mulder rarely ever looks at another woman seriously - there are the odd few that he is physically attracted to, like Dr. Bambi Berenbaum from season 3′s War of the Coprophages, but it’s only a perfunctory interest - we never see these characters again.  

The only women who ever pose a genuine threat to the MSR are Mulder’s old flames - so it’s Mulder briefly revisiting old feelings from a time before Scully.  Otherwise, since meeting Scully, he’s never become romantically attached to someone new.  Isn’t that interesting?

So why might he prefer to turn to porn?  Well, all I’ll say is this - do you remember that in Dreamland I, after falling asleep watching porn the night before, Morris Fletcher’s wife tells Mulder he was mumbling something about “Scully” in his sleep.  Yeah.  I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks with that one.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway...  that was quite a tangent, wasn’t it.  Man, who knew there was so much to analyse in a few seconds of Mulder looking at a copy of Hankypanky?  Which, by the way, is the best name for a porn mag, ever.

It is relevant, I swear.  Mulder’s sexual needs figure into the plot of this episode in a very indirect way.

No, really.   

It’s really surprising to me just how much Scully smiles so far in season 1.  She was so carefree back then, eh?  Had no idea what she was in for.  At this moment in time, she’s just a normal FBI agent working some weird cases with her sexy crackpot partner.  

S1!Scully enjoys simple pleasures, like how in this scene she seems to get a kick out of bringing him a weird case that she knows will pique his interest.  She enjoys holding court - she’s the one with the information and she likes to tantalise him with it. The UST is simmering nicely.

I love the way her face tracks his, begging for his attention.  And he responds with a bit of casual, flirtatious innuendo - she loves this little game they play with each other as much as he does, look a her.  I wish she would get lucky, Mulder.  HINT HINT.

For some reason she seems especially radiant and lovely in this episode.  I already mentioned this, didn’t I.  But seriously, let’s all bask in the glow of how stunning she is - she’s like a cross between Princess Diana and a 50′s pin up.

Don’t you think?  Is it just me?

Ahem... so moving along, they head on over to Atlantic City to see what this weird man-eating case is all about, and run into an immediate roadblock when the local detective gets all territorial with his jurisdiction over the case.  

Put a pin in this scene in your mind - human behaviour is under the microscope in this episode, and this detective guy is demonstrating some classic traits that are discussed in more depth later.

I love that when she means business and wants Mulder to stop what he’s doing and listen to her, she calls him Agent Mulder.  

Oh please, don’t give me fanfic ideas, because I can’t write fanfic for the life of me, but someone, somewhere, must have written a fic where they call each other Agent Mulder and Agent Scully in bed, right?  Someone PM me that shit.

So they leave and Scully is still in flirty tete-a-tete mode as they venture outside.  

Fuck, that man has a beautiful smile.  He really needs to smile like that more often.  It makes me giddy that Scully can make him smile and laugh so easily, especially considering what they just went through together in Conduit.  They’re so good together even at this early stage, it makes my heart hurt that it takes them 7 years to get their shit together.

Also, Scully’s comment about the Jersey Devil is another, more flippant, example of how she low-key reads Mulder’s mind regarding his theories on a case.  She’s joking about the murderer being the Jersey Devil, but that’s exactly what he suspects.  

I really am enjoying watching all of the regular dynamics of their later relationship play out for the first time in season 1.  Its’s so much fun.

Mulder, you realise you’re flirting right now, don’t you?  Come on, now... 

Look at her smiling back at him as he attempts to seduce her with the fantasy of what sounds suspiciously like a date; where they grab a hotel together *insert raised eyebrow here* and then go take in the sights and sounds of Atlantic City.  

He’s messing with her, of course, he just wants to focus on the case, but he enjoys the back and fourth and know she enjoys it too.  They have an unspoken understanding, and, in moments like these, they really do exist in a world of their own together.  

Of course, he doesn’t at all expect what comes next.

I cannot express enough how much I love how Mulder completely deflates when he says “you got a date?”  

I also love that a date is his immediate assumption - he says it so quick it’s out of his mouth before he even thinks.  Is this something he’s been worried about coming between them at some point?  I’d say so. 

He is well aware that she is a beautiful, intelligent woman, so of course she was bound to inevitably do what beautiful, intelligent women do - go on dates - have a personal life.  He probably didn’t want to have to acknowledge, that at some point, their little bubble was going to burst.  His deflated response is probably a reaction to thinking that time is now.

So would it be fair to say that Mulder is a little bit threatened by the idea that Scully wants a life that would take her away from him and their their work together.  Yes, definitely.   But I do think he’s willing to admit that to himself? Definitely not.

Even after learning she’s not going on a date, he remains deflated.  Their sparky, fun, UST-laden tooing and froing has been snuffed out, and Mulder unceremoniously throws the keys over to her in defeat.  He knows it’s not fair of him to punish her for having a life, but he kinda does anyway, since he ditches her to investigate alone.

Poor S1!Scully is just starting to learn here, that Mulder can be an inconsiderate dick sometimes.  Or as she’ll put it later - a jerk.

It’s a flaw of his character, which I guess gives him some depth and makes him more real.  

But mostly, it just makes him a dick.  A beautiful dick, but a dick all the same. 

Wait, hang on... that didn’t come out right. 

Unfortunately for Scully, leaving her to make a 3 hour drive, alone, after he was the one to make her come all the way out here in the first place, is the least of his future transgressions.

So lets enjoy his suffering a bit more, shall we?  Just look at his face when he hears she can’t spend the weekend with him fart-arsing around Atlantic City looking for cannibal cave men.  

Dude… seriously, stop pretending - we know you don’t like it when the real world takes Dana Scully away from you. 

Now we come to a scene that, only with 9 years of hindsight, becomes equal parts devastating, bittersweet and omg-squee-shippy-tastic!

Let’s break it down.

So first, Scully with children.  She’s a natural at it - attentive, loving, affectionate.  The little hug she gives the boy at the end; I can’t even--she would have been such a great mother.

Would have been.  

That’s the kicker, isn’t it.  Poor S1!Scully is completely oblivious to the fate that awaits her.  Our foreknowledge of future events makes these scenes painfully bittersweet now.   Despite the fact she would have been wonderful at it, her one chance at motherhood slips away after only a single year with William.  She never had, and now never will have, the chance to truly be a mother and raise a child of her own.  

I’ll let that sit with you for a while.  

Edit:  Ahem, yeah so... this was written before My Struggle IV, obviously.  As insane and unexpected as it seems, Mulder and Scully do have another child together making this point pretty much moot.  But I’ll leave it in for, you know, historical record? lol! 

Feels like a ton of bricks in the pit of my stomach just writing it.  In my work I have counselled women who have had to come to terms with infertility, and what it means for them to be a childless.  It’s an incredibly harrowing thing to accept for many of them, feeling incomplete; less of a woman; their bodies betraying them; denying them something they feel is rightfully theirs - and sadly what society tells them is the greatest contribution they could ever offer to the world - a body that can create life.  It’s perhaps, with my experience of these women, that I now look at Scully in a way that I didn’t when I was a teenager; watching the X-Files the first time around.

It makes me appreciate her strength, and her selfless, unwavering, devotion to doing what she thinks is right, regardless of the cost to herself, in a whole new way.

But for S1!Scully, all this talk about motherhood amounts to is a distant thought that, one day, she’ll meet Mr. Right and will start a family of her own.  Just like most of us assume, and never question, until it doesn’t happen.

Told you this would be devastating.

All hell is breaking loose at this party with only her and her friend to herd the gorilla-masked kiddies (another oblique reference to primitive human behaviour), but she’s enjoying herself despite it all. 

Doesn’t it feel strange to see Scully with a close friend that isn’t Mulder?  To see that she once had some small semblance of a life outside of him.  It makes me really realise how much she gave up for him and for their work together.  What motivates a person to do something like that?  Just a passion for the work?

It’s also very unfamiliar to see that Scully once contemplated not becoming a mother.  That actually, she felt she wasn’t cut out for it.  Although perhaps this is merely a cover for how she really feels.  We know from season 5′s Christmas Carol, that Scully has a fear of getting close to people, and tells Emily’s adoption officer that she avoided attachments before her cancer because she was scared of the pain of losing those she loved.  We know this changes for her though, as Scully will be forced to painfully acknowledge, in that same episode, that she didn’t realise how much she wanted to be a mother until she couldn’t have it anymore.  

Which makes sense when you realise that this scene here, in Jersey Devil, was probably one of very few times Scully considers, and actually tests out, whether she wants a life outside of her FBI career, before discovering she cannot conceive.

Scully’s friend, El, hitting the nail on the head.  She would be a great mother, but she has to choose it.  She has to decide what’s more important to her - career or family.  It’s not something she’s seriously thought about until now.

Being told she doesn’t have a life definitely affects Scully too, she plays it off as a joke here, but we know her actions after this conversation betray her true feelings.  She starts to wonder if her work with Mulder is overtaking her life, and that she doesn’t have much else outside of her career.  It worries her enough into taking action to change things.

Ah and then it comes to this part of their conversation.  The part that gets our little shipper hearts pumping.

You know what’s funny about this scene now?  The fact they’re basically discussing finding a man to have a child with.  Scully easily dismisses the idea of dating and having children with Mulder, but the irony is that this is now foreshadowing... because that’s exactly what happens.

7 years from now.

That’s some epic retroactive foreshadowing, right there.

But sticking with the present moment, what might Scully’s reason be for calling Mulder a jerk?  Well what did he do to her earlier that day?  The way he flirted with the idea of them spending some off-duty hours together in Atlantic City and then got weird when she said she had plans and ditched her when she couldn’t do what he wanted.  That’s definitely a jerk move.

She quickly corrects herself, acknowledging that his behaviour earlier that day maybe doesn’t wholly represent who he is, but still, I enjoyed the fact she basically admits that his ditching her bothered her more than just being slightly inconvenienced.  Hmm, I wonder why... eh, Scully?

Now, things start to get a bit more interesting.  As I mentioned before, Scully played off the fact she has no life as a joke but she’s clearly conflicted on whether she’s okay with such a skewed work-life balance.  She’s now questioning if she needs to spend more time away from work and start to build a life for herself.  And then...as if the hands of fate reached in themselves...

A WILD DIVORCEE DAD APPEARS! 

DIVORCEE DAD USES “CREEPER SMILE”.

IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE???!

Seriously, why does she go on a date with this guy, he looks like a total creeper.  The way he’s like, hey, check me out being all fatherly with my I’m-single-and-ready-to-mingle smile.  Ugh.  Dana!

Back to Mulder now, working off a hot tip from a homeless HBO fan, he’s been hanging out like a hobo trying to catch a glimpse of this Jersey Devil.

Uh, I take it all back.  Maybe it was for the best Scully didn’t tag along on this one.  

Scully: What happened to ‘grabbing a hotel’, Mulder? Mulder: FBI cutbacks, Scully.  Wanna share my blanket? Scully: ...  

Can you imagine?  Them sitting together, in the cold, huddled under a tiny blanket...

Hmm... wait, I’m changing my mind again.

Mulder sees a dark, human-like figure in an alleyway, but is blocked from pursing it because he is stopped and arrested by the police, due to their mistaking him for a drunk.

Mulder redefining the meaning of the phrase “hot mess”.

So I’ve seen enough American TV shows to know that when you get arrested you get one call, right?  So Mulder’s one call - the one person he can rely on to help him out is.... *drum roll*

OMG! NO WAI!  Much unexpected! Very shock!

So much sass.  Mulder getting sassed by Scully is my favourite thing.  Like, ever.

Methinks she’s enjoying getting some sweet, sweet, revenge on him for ditching her, too.  Just a lil’ bit.

I love how he just smiles at the end, as if to say “alright, Scully. You win.”

Then, while shovelling his face with food, Mulder tries to convince Scully of what he saw in the alleyway.

Their usual back and forth ensues – Mulder puts forward a fantastic (albeit pretty on the nose) theory about what he saw in the alleyway.  Scully runs the gamut of reasons why it might not be what he thinks it is, making Mulder work for his theory.  Which is good on one hand, since it’s teaching him to be critical rather than willing to believe anything at the drop of a hat. 

But on the other hand, he’s actually right.  I think this dynamic would work better if he didn’t always guess pretty much exactly right all the freakin’ time.  I think Mulder needs to get it wrong a bit more often to 1. humble him a tiny bit and 2. not make it always seem like Scully’s scepticism is just getting in the way.

As it stands, the main purpose Scully’s sceptical, scientific, approach serves is keeping her and Mulder out of danger.  Without her pulling him back from the edge a lot of the time, I think he’d have got himself killed ages ago.  Which we’ll get a live demonstration of later in this episode.

Mulder then extends the invitation once more, for Scully to join the hunt, and for them to investigate the case together.  

Then the conversation turns veeeeeery interesting.

Scully catching Mulder off guard is another one of my favourite things.  His surprised head snap gives me Cheshire Cat face.  

She’s put her personal life above their work together twice now and, again, he does a piss poor job of hiding that he doesn’t like it.  

But notice something here.  When he thinks it’s another birthday party, he isn’t threatened.  He doesn’t ask her to cancel, he’s seemingly unaffected - disappointed no doubt - but notice how quickly his attitude changes when she clarifies that, this time, it is a date.

First up... wow, Mulder.  Can she cancel?  That was bold.

He can definitely sense she’s withdrawing, and he’s beginning to feel territorial about it.  As selfish as it might be, he wants their work and partnership to take precedence in her life, but she’s resisting. 

Although, it only seems to bother him when it’s a date, apparently.  HMMMMMM.  Sooo... a kid’s birthday party is less threatening than a date.  

I WONDER WHY.

Second... Ouch, Scully.

She’s clearly showing, once again, that her friend’s comment about not having a life got under her skin.   Why do I think this?  Well I’ve never thought of Scully as petty, but that below the belt comment about Mulder’s life was kinda petty.  I think in some small part she is resentful towards Mulder for the current state of her social life - she’s allowed herself to get swept up in his hurricane these past few months and is now a tiny bit sensitive to the assumption that she should drop everything to go Jersey Devil hunting with him.  

She’s trying to take back control and get out of this all-consuming bubble they’ve been living in.

Now the next scene is fucking gold.  Here’s where everything should hopefully fall into place.

Scully takes Mulder to meet her old university professor in Maryland.  Mulder is asking the Professor questions about the Jersey Devil and he explains to Mulder that the wild man myth is universal - almost every culture has one.  It represents an apparent symbolic fear of man’s dual nature as creators and destroyers of life.

Look at Mulder... Naww.. tell me more, teach!

The Professor starts to talk about how humans have hereditary traits which make us tribal and aggressively territorial, driven by selfish sexual and reproductive drives which makes cooperation beyond our perceived ‘tribe’ extremely challenging.

Now think about that for a second – what has been going on with Mulder and Scully since the beginning of this episode. 

First Mulder has been territorial with Scully; he wants her to himself – not to share her with the demands of a personal life.  He wants her to be as dedicated to the X-Files as him, but is finding it difficult to accept that she wants to go off and exist outside the bubble of their partnership - outside their “tribe”.  

He is also, on some subconscious level, driven sexually – because why the hell else would he petulantly accuse her of having a date the way he did?  He’s not threatened by her spending time with friends, but he is threatened by her spending time with other men.  Perhaps not consciously, but somewhere deep down, it bothers him that she would go on a date.  Both a kids party and a date result in her spending less time with him, so why does a date, specifically, sting more?

I do feel like I need to reiterate here, that I don’t think Mulder is in love with Scully at this point.  But he’s very attached to her, and seemingly, he doesn’t like to share.

Then we have Scully – who has spent a great deal of time this episode discussing her thoughts on becoming a mother, and deciding if she wants to prioritise finding a man and having a family over her career.  She then accepts a date with a man based on these discussions – so here, Scully is being driven by her reproductive needs.  

She is also driven sexually too though, I mean, we know she thinks of Mulder as being “cute”.  So she has definitely acknowledged a sexual attraction to him - and well, who wouldn’t.  

But also the shy smile she flashes the creeper divorcee dad suggests she finds him attractive too - she’s not wanting to start dating for the singular purpose of getting preggo, of course not.  Like Marty and his Hankypanky mags, she has needs too.

Now, pop your head into Mulder’s kitchen for a sec guys, c’mon just a sec.

FORESHADOWING!

Well, maybe... that damn alien invasion is gonna happen some day. Right, Chris Carter?!  RIGHT?!

The scene then transitions into referring to the Jersey Devil directly rather than a meta commentary on Mulder and Scully themselves, and I love that it was Scully’s intention for her old professor to talk some sense into Mulder, but instead Mulder gets the guy to admit that what he’s suggesting, about the Jersey Devil being a pre-historic human, is feasible in the realm of extreme possibility.  

Scully, ever the scientist, can’t argue with that one.

As much as she wishes she could.

Later that evening, Mulder sits in the basement-not-basement office looking subdued, staring at evidence photos, twiddling his thumbs... bored.  He really is useless without Scully.

Beautiful, beautiful Scully, on the other hand, is on her date looking OH SO NINETIES.  But still, lovely.

And OH MY GOD.  Divorcee dad is boring as fuck.

No one wants to hear how you fantasise about running people over with your car on a first date, Rob.

Now we could get meta-meta, and suggest that I myself, writing this analysis, am getting quite territorial over the MSR relationship and am threatened by this dude, and that’s why I mock him to pieces.  But honestly, there’s just something about him that feels super disingenuous and needy... he screams “please replace my wife and be my son’s surrogate mother” to me.  

I mean, they’re not even 30 minutes into their first date and the guy is asking Scully to go on family days out with his kid to the beach.  Fuck off, mate... how about you woo me a bit first, yeah?  Let me decide if I like you before saddling me with mothering your kid.  Geez.

Then he drops a real clanger... which, well - to be fair - isn’t that big a deal to S1!Scully.  But, knowing what’s to come, this comment is just unforgivable.

What a douche.

So let’s check in on Mulder again, what’s he up to during this torture.

Look at this lost puppy, slumped in his chair, staring at the clock.  I bet he’s checked that clock every five minutes since 7:30.

Mulder... it’s only been 25 minutes.  Get it together, man.

You can’t tell me he isn’t feeling shitty, thinking about her being out on a date.  Why else would he be moping in his office, and staring at the clock on the wall?  GETTING EXACTLY ZERO WORK DONE.  I’m getting Chinga vibes, here.

I don’t think he even really understands why, but he hates this.  He wants her there - he’s used to her presence now and he’s bizarrely at a loss without her there to focus him.

He then gets a call from the Park Ranger who tells him a body, that is possibly the pre-historic human they’ve been looking for, has turned up in the woods, and that it has been sent to the coroner’s office.

This gives Mulder the excuse he didn’t know he was waiting for to call Scully and try, once again, to pull her back into the bubble.

Look at how bored shitless she is.  She’s waiting for you to rescue her.  GO MULDER GO!

#SorryNotSorry

The next day Mulder and Scully go back to Atlantic City to inspect the body, but it’s not there to inspect.  Mulder theorises that the male neanderthal might have had a female mate, and they go back to the location where Mulder spotted her previously to see if they can find her again.

As they search, Mulder muses about what this neanderthal woman might be like.  He questions whether she’s that different from Scully and himself.  

Which is exactly the point of this episode - the fact that the two of them are also driven by ancient hereditary instincts.  The same way the neanderthal woman and her mate were.  Mulder and Scully’s personal life subplot reflect how the modern world has changed how we act on these instincts; but that ultimately we all want the same things.   Mulder wonders out-loud whether she feels emotion, or does she just live on instinct - spending her days looking for food.  To which, Scully replies...

I don’t know why, but I love that Scully knows how to make Mulder laugh.

Then just when we were starting to enjoy their being together, working as one again, Mulder goes and rushes off without Scully.

She calls to him several times, and he ignores her and then parkours his way to freedom.

Mulder and Scully: SYNCHRONISED PARKOUR MASTERS!  Although Scully does it in heels, so she wins.

Mulder is cornered by the neanderthal woman, which he should have seen coming, really, these guys do hunt and eat people, right?

She knocks him down and looms over him.  He basically looks like a 16 year-old boy who has never touched a girl before.  It’s kind of adorable seeing him pinned to the floor by a naked woman with a look of terror on his face.

Be gentle with me, please.

Never mind.

Scully arrives, just in time, to save Mulder.  Get used to that, Scully.

They then head out into the forest, to find neanderthal lady before Detective ThisTownAin’tBigEnoughForBothOfUs hunts her down with his SWAT team and kills her.

Sadly, that’s exactly what happens.  They gun her down before Mulder and Scully are able to intervene.

Mulder is devastated.  In no small part due to the fact that she’s a woman, alone, vulnerable - hunted.  She ticks all the boxes to mess with Mulder’s head and trigger his need to rescue.

Mulder seems quite emotional as he asks the detective why he killed her.  The answer he gets doesn’t give him any relief, in fact, I think it only leads him to despair more.  Searching the detectives eyes, not quite believing what he’s hearing.

Scully can see Mulder is on the edge; becoming too emotionally involved.  So she does what only she can.  

She steps in and speaks to him in their private language - where with just a look and a touch, she can bring him back to himself.  

I love this aspect of their bond.  It’s so subtle, but loaded with a quiet intimacy that’s always just below the surface.  These two work best when they are in this bubble together - just the two of them.  Every now and then, with just a small gesture, they forget everyone else and withdraw into their own private world.  

A week later, back in the FBI not-really-basement, Scully, is telling Mulder about the autopsy results of the neanderthal woman, and gets frustrated as Mulder excitedly prepares to meet a colleague at the Smithsonian - throwing himself further into his work.

Clearly still feeling conflicted about how to balance her work life against her personal life, she tries to convince Mulder that, he too, needs to do some work in that area.  But what she’s not understanding is that this is what Mulder does for himself - his work.  When he said before that he has a life, this is what he meant.  To him, this is living - it’s the life he chose and he’s not ashamed or embarrassed about it.

Mulder is a career non-conformist.  He doesn’t work by the rules and he doesn’t live his life by the rules either.

It’s at this point Scully gets a call from creeper divorcee dad, offering her a night out at a Cirque du Soleil show.  

Her complete and utter lack of interest in taking him up on his offer finally makes it click for her why Mulder would reject her offer of a day off, or to go get a beer.

Mulder has absolutely no interest in doing those things.  They hold no value for him, and no enjoyment, in exactly the same way that she realises she has absolutely no interest in dating this guy, or going to see Cirque du Soleil with him and his freakin’ kid.  Geez, man... stop it with the family days out.  Someone buy this man a copy of Dating for Dummies.

This epiphany affects Scully deeply, as I think she realises in that moment that working with Mulder and being an FBI agent is the life that brings her the most fulfilment and excitement too.  She never did want to date in the first place, it was a comment from her friend that made her question whether or not the way she lived her life was “okay”. 

Now it seems she’s decided it is.  She doesn’t care about conforming to what is expected of her anymore.

Reminds me of something Gibson Praise says about Scully in season 5′s The End.  

I think she reaffirmed for herself, this attitude of not caring what people think, in this very episode.  To be who she is, do what she wants and not give a flying monkey what anyone says.

So rolling it back a bit - when Scully gets the call from her divorcee date, Mulder answers the phone, and I’d say he is definitely aware of who it is by the way he walks out of the office without waiting for Scully.

He assumes she will not be coming with him because, well, she has a life now, right?  She has more going on than just work and he has every reason to believe she would rather be doing other things with her time, especially after that speech she just gave begging him to take some time off.  He thinks he’s got the message loud and clear - that she doesn’t feel the same way about their work as he does, and that this is how things are gonna be from now on.

It’s also a bit petulant of him, isn’t it?  The way he storms off after giving her the phone perfectly illustrates that.  Not to mention his dejected walk over to the requisition desk after he leaves the office.  The way he sounds so defeated as he asks for a car.

So despite trying to be “okay” with it, Mulder is still feeling threatened by this guy encroaching on their partnership – I’m sure of it.  The reason I feel so sure is that when Scully approaches him at the requisition desk, he straight away asks who it was on the phone.  

Why is he interested? If he isn’t bothered then why ask?  Mulder hasn’t shown any interest in her private life before.  For the most part, these two never discuss their personal lives.  At least, not at this stage.

Is the tension in this conversation not entirely palpable?  He really doesn’t like it, does he.  I still don’t think he has even realised why he doesn’t like it.  The guy is an Oxford educated psychologist and profiler – if he looked at himself for 5 seconds he’d know why – which is probably why he doesn’t. 

We don’t see this side to Mulder often, as the series progresses we tend to see this kind of thing more from Scully.  To be fair, it’s usually because women fawning over Mulder just seem to keep popping up all over the place.

But I love seeing this.  More jealous!Mulder, please.  I’m dying to see season 11 for the Mulder vs. Skinner fight that is apparently over Scully.  Not to mention it supposedly involving Skinner’s long harboured feelings for her.  Fuck yes, please.  Can we get some jealous!Mulder up in that, Mr. Carter?   

“You gonna have dinner with him again?”

WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MULDER? HUH?

You notice how he perks up slightly after hearing she’s not going to see the guy again?  You really need to hear the audio to notice it - but his voice changes. 

Ohhh burn.  Guess he didn’t like being told he doesn’t have a life, either, eh?

Every now and then Mulder lets slip the odd bitter comment, it’s something he’s doing right up until My Struggle I – revealing his true feelings through backhanded, sarcastic comments rather than outright saying what he feels.

You tell him, Scully.

The opening of this episode always intrigued me because it grounds the X-Files in the rules and procedures of the FBI that subsequent seasons often gloss over.  Mulder submits a “302″ (a request to open a case file), as well as cover for travel expenses and there’s even a brief mention of Mulder’s ASAC (Assistant Special Agent in Charge) - who is Mulder’s current ASAC?  I don’t think we ever meet him/her.  

It’s kind of strange how in season 1 there is a strong sense of authority looming over the X-Files, like an axe waiting to drop, whereas later seasons you really do get the feeling they’ve just been left to their own devices, and that the only person they really answer to is Skinner - who for the most part, is pretty lenient with them.

The scene here with Blevins is good for observing the subtle shift that is occurring in Scully, away from loyalty to the FBI and the orders of her superiors, and towards loyalty to Mulder.  Blevins tries to find out what Scully knows of Mulder’s sister and she refuses to betray Mulder’s confidence - but then Blevins shows her that Mulder opened the X-File on his sister’s disappearance himself, so she feels a bit more at liberty to share what she knows.  Still, I like that she has no qualms with resisting a superior if it means remaining loyal to her partner.

Then Blevins tries to use Scully to undermine Mulder, and she sees straight through that shit.

Scully is so great in this scene - we all need a BFF like Scully.  Being the utterly loyal BAMF that she is, without knowing Mulder’s reasoning, without any knowledge of the case, she puts herself out there to get the case opened simply because she trusts Mulder’s judgement.  

She has faith in him that whatever has prompted him to submit this 302, there is a good reason for it - despite what others think - she doesn’t believe he’s a madman or a fool, and she’s willing to challenge her superior based on her faith in him.

Look at that, I can find MSR in any scene.  Can’t quite decide if that’s a talent or a curse.  

Now it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for.  Don’t deny it.

Mulder, Mulder, Mulder... first, what colour is that shirt you’re wearing?  Did you put a yellow sock in with your whites?  

Second, GOOD LORD MAN.  He definitely gets a thrill out of flirting with her, because he’s pretty good at invading her personal space in surprisingly intimate ways - she’d have felt his breath on her face; that’s incredibly intimate.  What was he thinking?  Honestly, he probably wasn’t - I still genuinely believe he’s not aware of what he’s doing.  He probably doesn’t even think of it as flirting.  

Poor Scully - see her sharp intake of breath?  I know, I know, she’s exasperated with him but c’mon... if you had this guy come at you like that wouldn’t you have a little moment?  She even seems to take a split-second to consider this as she eyes his lips briefly.

What?  Don’t look at me like that.  When you make gifs, you inevitably end up seeing scenes frame by frame... you can’t help but notice these things!

The fact she never challenges this behaviour is just more evidence that she is attracted to him, because Scully has more self-respect than to let a colleague get up in her space if she doesn’t want it.  Scully lets him get away with things like this repeatedly because 1. she’s comfortable with him - she trusts him and 2. she is professional enough to not let it interfere with their relationship or their work.  But fuck me, Mulder makes it hard for her.

Scully then lets Mulder play teacher with his projector.  Nawww, I miss overhead projectors.  They phased out using them in X-Files episodes eventually too, but watching Mulder give Scully a little presentation always makes my heart do a thing.

He loves having someone to share this with, someone who is not just a skilled professional - a highly qualified scientist and doctor - but someone who looks at his work and applies their expertise faithfully.  She takes him and what he does seriously, her challenging him is proof of that.  

Honestly, I think he enjoys the challenge of proving the credibility of his theories under Scully’s scrutiny.  That way, this back and fourth that occurs between them serves the very useful purpose of grounding Mulder and also challenges him to work for his theory rather than just believe anything and everything willy nilly - which we know he would definitely do without someone to watch over him.  He enjoys it, but no doubt, it frustrates the fuck out of him sometimes too.

Although surprisingly, he seems quite chill about it today.

Soooo... slightly veering away from MSR for a moment...

Welcome back to Mulder’s Kitchen, people!  

An interesting observation I made in this episode was that the apparent UFO sighting Mulder shows Scully on the projector from Lake Okobogee in 1967, looks awfully similar to a UFO we will see later in the series.

UFO From Lake Okobogee.

UFO from Fight the Future.

UFO from season 8′s This is Not Happening.

What are the chances that these are all in fact, the same UFO?  

I always thought the FTF and This is Not Happening UFO were one in the same; that seems clear despite it seeming much bigger in FTF, but let’s just put that down to the SFX budget.  The possibility that the FTF UFO was previously involved in abductions in the 60′s is an interesting idea, and nicely ties the events of this episode into the greater mythology.  The mythology is always fun. I’m one of those rare unicorns that actually enjoys the mythology more than the stand alone episodes.  

I know, I know... hey, hands off the unfollow button!

Mulder and Scully:  Getting to the front door at the same time since 1993.

Also, Scully low key checking Mulder out.  As you do.

Once you’ve seen it, you just can’t unsee it.

The dynamics of the next scene are really interesting, and quite heartbreaking when you think of all the loss in the room.  Darlene Morris desperate for the return of her daughter Ruby, and Mulder, desperate to learn something that might lead to answers about what happened to Samantha.

Mulder is clearly very vulnerable walking into this house, the second he sees the Morris family photos, he’s transported to a time and a place that is long lost to him - and Scully sees his pain.

In that moment he is no longer the Oxford-educated psychologist, criminal profiler, Special Agent of the FBI, Fox Mulder - he’s the lonely 12 year-old boy Fox Mulder.  Longing for connection to not just his missing sister, but to the life that was robbed from him when she was taken away.  The photos of a once happy family, triggering in him recollections of his own loss.

Recall that in the pilot, Mulder tells Scully that after Samantha’s abduction his family fell apart - nobody talked about what happened, so he never had the chance to come to terms with it.  

We know later in the series that his parents divorce in the wake of what happened to Samantha, so effectively, his whole world was destroyed.  Imagine what that must be like for a 12 year-old child - the safety and security of home and family snuffed out in a single night then never addressed.  Hey kid, your life is now a hollow shadow of what it once was - deal with it.  He was just a boy with no capacity to deal with the enormity of what he had experienced, left to deal with the shattered pieces of his entire world - alone.

It may sound melodramatic, but I deal with this kind of childhood trauma all the time in my work, and the scars that are left can run very deep from far less traumatic experiences than Mulders.  It’s actually miraculous in some ways, that Fox Mulder became a functioning, highly-educated, and productive member of society.  

But he didn’t get off lightly, the consequence of his unresolved trauma is that these scars run so deep for him they are the greatest driving force in his life 20-odd years after the fact.  And tragically, we know they will continue to drive him for the next 20+ years into the future.  

Well, this is cheery, isn’t it?  I could really brighten everyone’s day and tell you about my thoughts on what losing William did to compound Mulder’s trauma around the loss of love and family... but I’ll spare you that particular trauma.

We can see during the conversation with Darlene, that Mulder is still out of sorts - Scully is doing most of the talking.  They’re talking about the night her daughter Ruby was abducted from Lake Okobogee, then Darlene drops this on Mulder and he’s like a deer caught in headlights.

Scully is again observing this change in Mulder and she’s worried for him; she’s never seen him like this before.

Also, can I just say quickly before we move on - that this kid is creepy AF.

Scully continues to pick up on Mulder’s strange behaviour.

Scully does try to approach this with him in an indirect way, letting him know gently she’s noticed his behaviour - but he brushes it off with his characteristic deflective humour.  Scully will have to be a bit more direct to get through to him on this one.

Oh, quick intermission.

ZOMG HE TOUCHED HER BACK AGAIN!  Yep, the small-of-the-back-touching love affair continues.  This episode: Mulder goes in for the double-hander.

This next bit makes me chuckle, because these NSA goons are looking for Mulder, so why did they break into Scully’s hotel room, and not Mulder’s?  

Were the rumours of their sleeping together going around the bureau this early in the game?   Maybe they thought they’d be clever and break into her room and catch him?

We wish it were true, NSA goons... we really wish it were true.

But it’s all good, eventually they find our boy, Fox.

Hoo boy.

We interrupt this programme to bring you an important message: Mulder’s bed head is hot as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--

Scully makes the mistake of ratting out creepy kid Kevin to the NSA and Mulder is frustrated at her actions.  The kid and his mother get hauled off in a somewhat uncomfortable scene, and Mulder looks around the Morris’ house, spotting from the window that their caravan has a scorched roof, which aligns with Darlene’s story of what happened on the night that Ruby disappeared.  He rushes off to investigate, while Scully stays at the window, watching him.

All throughout this episode Scully has been watching Mulder.  She knows what’s going on for him, but doesn’t know how to approach it.

Upon discovering that creepy kid has somehow acquired to ability to write Bach in binary (a story thread that never gets resolved, by the way), Mulder rushes to meet Darlene Morris to apologise to her for the NSA involvement, but she’s not interested and is hostile towards him now.  She tells him to keep away from her and her son and Scully uncomfortably notices, yet again, that Mulder is being made more and more emotionally vulnerable by this case.

Also, I gotta say it again... this creepy kid, man.  I feel like he would stab me up in my sleep.

Please stop looking at me like that, creepy kid.

At this point, Mulder has become fixated on Kevin and Ruby, and believes creepy kid is a “conduit” (eeeeeeyyyy the episode title!) and that he is linked to who/what abducted Ruby.  Basically, Mulder thinks aliens are using Kevin as some kind of human TV aerial.

The aliens wanted to catch season 8 of Game of Thrones but arrived on Earth in 1967 instead of 2018, so they’re pissed they’re having to wait 51 years for it to air and are amusing themselves by abducting people for their own entertainment purposes.

How’s that for a theory, Mulder?

Ok enough kidding around, serious talk now... serious stuff.

Scully tries again to talk to Mulder about what is going on for him.  She knows what is driving him, and why he is obsessed with finding Ruby - but she leaves it unspoken.  It’s fairly clear that what she doesn’t say is that Mulder is seeing Samantha in Ruby.  

Scully tries to tell Mulder that there is no evidence of an abduction; tries to break him away from his fixation on saving her, but he is a man possessed.  

Does he obsess with saving Ruby to absolve himself of the guilt of not being able to save Samantha?  To get information from Ruby that might shed light on what happened to his sister?  Maybe both.  But he’s determined to see it through, and Scully, concerned with his welfare, has no choice but to see it through with him.

I think this moment more than any other solidifies in Scully’s mind that Mulder isn’t just driven by wanting to know what happened to his sister; he’s in fact still deeply traumatised by her disappearance.

What Blevins suggested about Mulder’s personal agenda clouding his judgement is undeniable at this point, but she doesn’t use this knowledge against him - doesn’t write it in her report.  She can see and hear the pain he’s dealing with - this desperation to save Ruby is a clear window into his desperation to save his sister.

She doesn’t have the heart to stop him after seeing that.  She feels for him.

Things eventually come to a head, as Mulder refuses to give up believing Ruby can be saved despite the fact they have a suspect with a motive for murder in custody.  Scully believes he’s so clouded that he can’t see what he’s doing - she can’t beat around the bush anymore, she has to come out and say it directly.

What Scully comes to realise over the course of this episode, is that Mulder is a very damaged man.  The guilt of not being able to save Samantha seemingly drives Mulder to project his sister onto Ruby, and in fact, various vulnerable women throughout the series.  It’s a classic example of transference, to act out a trauma in similar scenarios with similar people in an attempt to resolve the distress it triggers.  But Mulder never seems to fully resolve this - as recently as the events of I Want to Believe Mulder is still looking for is sister in the faces of vulnerable, victimised women.

Compare the conversation Mulder and Scully have in I Want to Believe with the conversation above from Conduit.

Even more recently, you also have Sveta in season 10′s My Struggle I, he is still compelled to save hapless women no matter the personal cost to himself.

In fact, I’m certain the reason Scully says to Mulder “you know what you’re doing” in My Struggle I isn’t because of some childish jealousy, it’s because she knows what he’s like - she’s been going over this with him for enough years to know, and that’s why she tells him he knows what he’s doing too, because he’s done it enough times to know why he behaves this way without needing her to tell him.

Okay, quick, run!  Back to 1993.

What we’re seeing here in Conduit, is Scully experience this traumatised side of Mulder for the first time.  Kinda makes you feel sorry for Conduit-Scully, doesn’t it?  She’s got a looooooooong hard road ahead of her with this shit.

So, moving on.  Mulder and Scully go looking for Darlene and creepy kid Kevin at Lake Okobogee, and on the drive there, Mulder admits - in a uniquely Mulderesque way - that she is right about him.

Mulderesque meaning as avoidant and indirect as possible.

I found this story of Mulder’s childhood ritual incredibly sad, because it’s as I said before - as a 12 year-old boy, he was not emotionally equipped to deal with the aftermath of what happened, and so his 12 year-old mind dealt with it in the only way it could - through this child-like gesture of closing his eyes and believing that if he wished for it hard enough, that she would be there when he opened them again.  Hasn’t every kid done that; closed their eyes and wished?

Telling Scully this story is another defining point in their journey together.  Mulder is a closed book to most people around him, and the long pauses tell me he even finds it difficult to tell Scully this.  He’s not used to letting people get close - he fears it, because everyone he has loved has left him.  Especially if you consider that at this point, he has also not long ago lost Diana too.

Gag.

But little by little, Scully is breaking down the walls.  Even though she’s been challenging him every step of the way on this case, the one time she was right on the money was the most important time of all.  She’s right, he is chasing his sister and he knows it.  He knows what he’s doing; but can’t help himself.  

Telling Scully this story is his way of acknowledging that.

Mulder and Scully finally arrive at the lake and find Darlene, creepy kid and Ruby.  It first appears like Ruby was dumped by a biker gang, as she turns up unconscious in the forest just as the gang ride off.

SUPER FOX TO THE RESCUE!

Am I the only one who can’t help but think of Mulder as a dad every time he’s in a scene with a kid, now?  In this bit with the biker gang, I couldn’t help but think of how awesome a dad he would have been.  Then I feel sad because William.

Honestly, the thing that pains me most about the X-Files these days isn’t that Mulder and Scully split, it’s that Mulder and Scully never got to be parents, because they would have been awesome at it.  

I think I need a little cry now.

So in the end, Mulder was right - Ruby was alive.

Later in the hospital, Mulder notes that Ruby has a chemical imbalance which suggests she had experienced prolonged weightlessness.  Which means unless she was hanging out with the Biker Mice from Mars, she probably wasn’t with the bikers - that she actually was abducted.  But it is strange when you consider the greater mythology, which posits that all “alien” abductions are actually abductions by the government using ARVs to carry out their alien-human hybrid project.

So who abducted Ruby and took her into friggin’ space then?!  Some other bored aliens I guess??  The Bounty Hunters on a joyride?

Mulder desperately tries to get Ruby to talk about what happened to her, but she refuses.

Darlene arrives to put the kibosh on any further abduction-talk, and Mulder is bereft. He needs to know what happened to Ruby - he’s trying to make sense of what happened to his sister through Ruby, and he can’t make sense of it.  He’s once again, left open - highly vulnerable, and Scully doesn’t know what to do to help him.

Neeee nawww it’s the grammar police!  I think you mean ‘important to whom’, Darlene.

Scully is again left to observe Mulder’s pain, and is powerless to do anything to ease it, the door is being shut in his face and there’s nothing either of them can do about it.

The hand she physically places on his shoulder here I always felt was a symbolic gesture of their friendship at this point - she’s protecting him, keeping him safe.  Mulder no doubt feels very alone at this moment, but she’s been there for him, watching over him, supporting him through this whole thing; without her being there to protect him from himself, I suspect Mulder would have done something he would have later regretted.  

To see it properly, I needed to make a full 24fps gif, but watch as she grasps his shoulder - the way she soundlessly mouths Mulder’s name and lets out a breath she was holding in.  She can see what will happen next if she doesn’t stop him.  It’s all Scully can do for him now.

Gotta, say, Gillian Anderson is phenomenal, isn’t she?  Just that tiny acting choice made such a difference to the power of this moment - the awareness she gives Scully of how vulnerable Mulder is and how he’s not thinking straight - she has to think for him - to protect him.  I don’t often talk about the acting, I analyse this like they are real people - because that’s what I do - but I just had to mention this because it’s so subtle yet so affecting.  Bravo Gillian.

Now, for the final scenes of the episode.  This is where I am going to get highly interpretive, so I fully expect some of you to not share my views on this. 

I believe the final scenes of this episode reflect the balance of influences in Mulder’s life.  The trauma of his sister’s abduction and Scully.

I don’t want to make this too much about Scully, even though this is an MSR analysis and I have a talent for making everything about MSR ha.  But I do think there is a dichotomy at play here.

The past - Samantha; and the future - Scully. Hurt and healing.

Scully wants to help Mulder, she doesn’t see him as just a work colleague anymore.  She wants to help him if she can.  She listens to his regression hypnosis tapes; trying to understand – she’s come to care about him a great deal at this point.

She writes no report, doesn’t share any of what happened with Blevins, her focus is on this damaged man.  Beyond superficial attraction and professional loyalty she wants to try to be there for him - as a friend.

Then it’s our first time to see Fox Mulder break down.  He’s sitting in a church, staring at a childhood photograph.  It’s significant, I think, that the photo is of both of them, not just Samantha.  He’s mourning for not just her, but for the boy he once was, for the promise of a life he once had.

It always intrigued me that Mulder found himself sitting in a church, since we know from various bits of dialogue throughout the series that Mulder is almost certainly an atheist.  He isn’t aware of Scully’s Catholicism at this point, so his being there is ultimately an unexplained anomaly.

So stepping away from the characters again - twice in one analysis! - I wonder if it’s a symbolic choice by Chris Carter.  Because Scully is wearing a cross from the pilot, so her faith was always a planned part of her character.  

My interpretation, then?  

It’s the dichotomy of influences in his life I mentioned earlier being visually represented.  He’s alone in his grief, holding the symbolic representation of his trauma - a photograph of his lost childhood.  But there is always that comforting presence, he always has Scully to look out for him, even in his darkest moments - and as the seasons progress, we see this bear out.  I like to think of Mulder being in the church as a symbol of Scully watching over him, just as she has watched over him throughout this episode.

Well shit, that was a long one. The longest yet I think?  I seriously hope this is not going to be a continuing trend!  I think there are some episodes, especially in the early seasons where things are happening for the first time which means it will take me a bit more work to get into the characters heads.  Also, this episode had a lot of heavy Mulder-centric stuff, but I think it ties into his relationship with Scully in many ways, so I hope I was able to effectively represent that.