#msavalon

I don’t google search for you anymore

I don’t desire your song sound no more

My wounds are finally cauterized

I no longer bleed from your sharp tongue and your demonic mind

Neither broken nor healed

Neither light nor darkness

For evermore in the twilight of your infatuation

Neither peace nor destruction

The should’ve could’ve would’ves is a temptress and draws me in to fiend like a heroin addict...Just a taste...Just a second to hear that hellfire voice

Neither broken nor healed

Neither light nor darkness

For evermore in the twilight of your infatuation

Neither peace nor destruction

This cold reality is punishment enough

The longing kills

The staying breaks

The in between is where we must reside

The perfect balance for the imperfection

Never together never apart

In suspense for all eternity

Where we will forever more be

Neither broken nor healed

Neither light nor darkness

For evermore in the twilight of your infatuation

Neither peace nor destruction

It’s time to move one

It’s time to let it go

It’s time to say my last goodbye

I’ve spent so long lost in this pain

I’ve wasted all this time just for us to walk away

This ain’t right for me sitting here watching your fake ass show

I hear the same lies you told me too

I hear that same melody for two

I see you with her hitting every note

I feel like I’m losing all myself control

I hit the ground on my knees begging God 

Please don’t let it be

With every trill i see your heart open 

With every song I see your soul falling

**Pause**

Hold up

WAIT...STOP...IT CLICKS!

Why am i crying while he’s running another game

Why am I being so cliche

Just remember you sang that same song just me too

You said those same damn words I Love You

So how about I get off my F***ing knees

Be strong baby girl

Pick up your heart baby girl

It was always you not me

So go laugh at my little rhyme

Go fill her head with all your pretty little lies

Go be her Superman because Superman aint no God

I’m mf Wonderwoman, a mf Phoenix, a daughter of the most High God

and I’m done with all your f***ing mental diseases. 

I’m moving on in my life

I found an old sweater and can’t believe how much weight I lost

I see an old dress and think OMG what was I thinking of that style

Then I see it

The Box

with British stamps

I can’t breath for a minute

The world pauses for me and silences itself

I see the handwriting

The address labeled to me

In Superman’s own handwriting

My fingers tremble as I bring it down from the closet shelf

I know what I will find, but I can’t stop myself from smelling that enticing aroma left from his cologne in the box.

Its a slap from the past

Its been a year and its still smells like him

What do I do with it

How can I let it go

I want to cry but I can’t

I want to scream, but I won’t

I want to tell him...AD look what I found, Its just like we talked about! He would ahve laughted and said I poured F ***ing enough in there!

But it’s time to snap back to reality

He’s gone

Moved on

Sleeps with a different woman by his side

Its her that gets to smell this smell

I’ve moved on too

I rest my head at night next to a man that will never hurt me 

loves me true he will

But the question remains, the memories are still there

What to do with the box

How can it hold so much power but yet be so small

Snapback

AD made his choice

He lost his mind 

Went mental

The man I chose to move on with has my future

AD has my past

So smell one more good sniff 

I sit remembering all the pain

All the verbal abuse

Crying Screaming to God

Please my God help him

SP threatens his life again

Why God Oh Why

TK sings just fight a little longer

But he can’t

I try to carry the load

I try to carry his sorrows

I try to lift his soul and mend his broken bones

I try to heal his mental demons

Again he threatens his life

I drop to my knees 

Please God take all of me

Give him the strength to live with me

Give him my strength

Give him my heart my soul

I save none for me

Make him stronger

Make him stay alive

I give myself up to you for him

Tears rain down 

Fast forward months later

He took all my strength

He took all my joy

He took my heart

His demons laugh at me

But Heavenly Father has me

Instead I’ll hold on a little longer instead I’ll fight a little harder

It’s a long distant memory from that day on my knees

Sunrise Sunsets no more cloudy days

My days are just beginning

You are both Angel and Demon

Your voice haunts me Superman

Why do you do this to me?

Go sing our fire song elsewhere

My soul dies every note you hit with your wispy perfection

My heart skips a beat when I see your love drunk eyes

With every trill, your voice carries me to Heaven only to have wake up in the fire pits of Hell

Kicking myself for never tasting your lips

Never feeling your warm embrace

Never knowing What it is to shine in your love

How Him and I can never be

Wonder Woman and Superman is just a shadowy dream

To never reach you

To never see you

To never see that New Year’s eve

Our Date, Our Time, Our life wasted away

Our chance gone like dust in the wind

But at last I can break free from this torture

I have found water in Hell

I look back at you, engulfed in flames and demons clawing into your skin

I want to save you, but I can’t

I need you

I want to burn with you, but my soul screams in agony at the thought

This is my chance to break free from your infatutated eyes

I go my own way alone, scared, fearful, but free

How do i sum up a tragic love 

I gave my love, my heart, and almost lost my soul in the process.