#mrsardonic

So I'm not gonna be petty. I guess I have to be more aware of the fact that I am not good enough. I have to work harder. But I'm not gonna do this for you. I'm gonna do it for me. Cuz I'm damn sure this isn't going to happen again.

-Darwin

I have no clue why. It's bugs the shit out of me really.

Let my blood be my ink My bones the pen This paper my mirror Reflections of who I used to be And of all the things that I should have been Reflections of this tortured soul hiding within If you look inside you will surely find that no sun shines and I am not a spotless mind This mind woven together and held tight by broken promises and white lies and broken hearts Duck tape can't fix me this time Immeasurable minuscule parts Most addicts are addicted to pills Well I got this pen and this paper They are my painkillers I'm addicted to writing the truths the reluctant wills Of what used to be A naive 6foot 3 Overly trusting Eagerly loving Mountain of a man Whose life came down crumbling As a landslide Of treacherous women Left him crushed time after time Like an empty soda can After they are done sipping It's hard to get back out there I've lost all capabilities of confidence and trust This heart of gold ain't what it used to be, an ugly shade of brown and shrunk Eroded by the toxic rust lathered on by sadistic cunts Lustful succubi Draining crimson ink in between pumps Most days it's hard to face the world Somedays i Wonder what it's like to use my ink on This concrete notepad And wonder if the spatter Would mess up my signature But then they would win And I am damn sure I ain't giving them the satisfaction So I grab this paper And I grab this pen And let the river of crimson flow free and seal everything within The confines of this page Lock all the bullshit away These scars are remnants of what we've survived Not who we are. Let my blood be my ink My bones my pen This paper is my mirror Let it reflect my resolve that: I will never give in to The harsh words Of someone who doesn't know how it feels When the blood blurs your perception of love Sometimes we accept the love we think we deserve And we give into the voices That tell us to jaywalk vein street with this 2 inch steel blade, telling me that I ain't good enough that I shouldn't be following my dreams They don't know how it feels when rock bottom Is a goal i wish i could reach When i am just trying to dig myself free from being buried six feet deep by the assholes who told me to just "get over it" Let my blood be my ink My bones my pen I'm gonna lock my thoughts of madness and despair within Cuz Letting it flow into this page Is Better than reading my name in tomorrow's newsday They always care when your no longer able to speak It's funny how they save the nice words for when you no longer able to breathe As if they say it to save face To Wash their dirty bloodied hands Of the responsibility of putting me in this fragile glass case if emotions And shattered it with a grenade of hate and hoped the shrapnel Would do more than just scorch the shores of who I was and Break me down as if they were proud to be the wrecking ball sent to demolish a sacred temple But thankfully breaking me down isn't that simple I've become well acquainted with these WMDs and WSDs Weapons of mental deterioration And self destruction I know all too well of the addiction To the fleeting sensations Those fast few seconds of sweet release As your blood flows free And your spared from the sadness and their disappointment There's nothing you could do to me that I haven't already done to myself everyday is an endless struggle To keep my hands on this paper and pen rather then that blade that screams for attention Everyday I have to tune those whispers out That tell me "JUST GIVE UP EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU JUST WERENT AROUND" i have to drag my eyes to the mirror Give myself a hard look To find that my journeys not over That there's a deeper meaning inside This shell of man I can evolve As long as I can believe I can stand Let my blood be my ink My bones my pen I'll use this paper to be my mirror And give myself strength to never give in. I never had the love that most of you had I never had someone, to tell me it was gonna be okay I never had a lot of things But look at me now With the strength of an army And hope for tomorrow I stand here today If you can hear my voice Promise me you will put those blades away Be they literal or psychological You can survive I believe in you Everything's going to be okay Everything's going to be okay

Love is like a sandwhich If only to express the notion that both are the culmination of layers we've put into it. All the experiences, the words that we do or don't say: The "make sure you text me when you get home so I know your safe" The good morning hugs and the late night kisses The napkin to wipe away tears From a shitty day The surprise dinners composed of your favorite meals Made with love Full disclosure of your hopes dreams and fears It's the little things The thoughtful things Love is a sandwich As if to maintain the notion that both are manmade. Neither could never exist without us creating them. Love is sustenance Providing air in our lungs and joy in life. Love is Well Delicious

The things I get myself into…

If by the third date I'm not into it, this probably isn't gonna work out... Idk man maybe it's me.