#mrpaleface

How do you describe the feeling when fear takes over? Have you ever felt the darkness creep into your life and know you were powerless to stop it? I remember the night the fear and darkness stole my life. The date was burned into my memory. As I have gotten older, I have tried to ignore it…to pretend I don’t remember. After all, I am supposed to be less susceptible to believing in things that can’t be explained. Right?

It was time, the feeling that something was wrong in the universe...something was coming. Something that had been watching me for years, waiting on me to remember the first night it came for me. It unnerved me and I was unsure how I was supposed to cope with my instinct and intuition and the ominous foreboding I felt in the depths of my soul. Things at home had been less and less comfortable for months and thus I grew to distrust others in my life. I should have known then that was what it wanted.  It wanted to isolate me because it feeds on fear and paranoia. What it didn’t count on was me. I had always been different from others; however, I hid those differences well. I knew things, I felt things, I heard and saw things that no one else did. The depth of knowledge I had at such a young age overwhelmed me. Yet, even with all that knowledge, I don’t know that anything could have prepared me for what was about to happen. I sensed it…that day I couldn’t shake the sense of something being terribly wrong. There was an unknown threat, an enemy I could not identify or even imagine and I knew before the end I would be forced to draw on every ounce of strength and courage I could summon. Although I was acutely aware of my surroundings, I felt trapped.

     I bolted upright from the bed once again gasping for breath, my long strawberry blond curls plastered to my head with a cold sticky sweat.  Another night terror.  This time was worse than the last one.  Each time they seem to escalate.  I could still feel the hands that had been wrapped around my throat as my body trembled.  I tried to push down the fear and breathe through it as I have always done, but this time it was hard, I'd come to close. It had come too close.

     My life has always been this way for as long as I can remember, but lately things have gotten worse.  Many people faced with what I have been going through are able to pass it off as simple nightmares and move on.  What I have been experiencing for the last two years of my life are night terrors.  What’s the difference you may ask?  Some would have you believe there isn’t really much of a difference.  I however, know better.  I know the truth.  The difference is vast.  Nightmares are dreams that your subconscious creates according to what you have exposed your mind to throughout your waking hours, while night terrors…those are the things that expose themselves to you before your mind has had a chance to reach the dream state.  They expose themselves to you because by all rights, you actually appear to be asleep.  Though your body may be exhausted and paralyzed, your mind is fully awake and aware of what is going on around you, and will actually try to force your body to wake up when it feels a threat.  That is what happens on those rare occasions when you are thinking to yourself…this is a dream…or….I need to wake up, but the actual process of waking up is nearly impossible.  It is something that evokes a fear in you far beyond what nightmares do.  Some experts call it sleep paralysis.  Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual because of the vivid visions.  The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely dream-like objects, people and other things they deem impossible may appear in the room alongside one's normal vision.  However, these are not dreams and if you are unable to wake yourself from them, you could be in grave danger.  You have opened your mind far enough that you are able to peer into the realm of something more than your own reality…the realm of shadows.  What you are seeing at those times, are the things that are actually after your soul, things you must learn to fight against with every part of your being.  Make no mistake, if they reach you before you wake, the evidence of that encounter will be left on your body, trust me, I know…it happens to me frequently. Have you ever felt like you were being watched…an uncanny feeling that sends chills up your spine...a noise that makes you second guess every noise you hear thereafter, a shadow that you see out of the corner of your eye…but when you look straight at the area…it’s just not there? If so, your first reaction is probably a lot like mine was.  I was just imagining seeing something…there is nothing really there. I was wrong...my gut knew it, my brain knew it and my soul felt it.

     The fear that overtook me that first night left me paralyzed.  It was a fear that was so consuming, so all-encompassing I was left without the ability to move, speak, or feel anything…other than the fear itself.  I had just finished hanging up my clean clothes after doing laundry all night and finally collapsed backward onto my pillow.  I laid there staring out the window at the numberless stars against the purple tapestry of the night sky, when the storm rolled through.  Black clouds began boiling and lightning illuminated my room.  The roar of thunder seemed to shake the foundation of the entire house and startled me.  That is when I noticed something happening.  Although I could still see the street light outside near my driveway, there was no more illumination in my room, which made absolutely no sense to me.  The darkness consumed every nook and cranny, and made me want to pull the covers over my head.  I should have known then there was something wrong, I had never been scared…of anything.  I wasn’t one that was easily influenced by outside forces.  My mind was completely mine and I had developed it in ways that few others my age were able to.  You see, most people have a coping mechanism that allows them to go through their waking hours taking little notice of their thought processes: how the mind moves, what it fears, what it pays attention to, what it says to itself, what it brushes aside.  For the most part, they eat, work, converse, worry, hope, plan, make love, shop, play, all with minimal attention paid to how they think.  I was different.  I had harnessed the power of my mind at a very young age, and in doing so, I was able to unleash a power inside myself that made me resilient against things that controlled others…like fear.  Nevertheless, this darkness was different...it made me feel true fear for the first time in my life.  I tried to breathe through it knowing it was irrational to fear the dark, especially as a teenager…but this darkness was an absolutely impenetrable “blackness of darkness” that would cause any man a feeling of intense alarm and horror.  What terrified me even more was knowing that it was unexpectedly familiar to me.  When I strained my eyes, trying to see something in the room, there was nothing but blackness.  I was prepared to reach and turn my bedside lamp on when I heard a low growl emitting from the darkness to my left.  I froze when I felt the hot breath brush against my skin.  I knew my father was in the next room, and that the walls in the old house where I lived were paper thin, so I attempted to scream.  However, my voice was stolen, and my entire body became paralyzed when I realized it was starting to surround me and imprisoning me to my bed while it threatened to overtake me.  As I laid there frozen in horror, being terrorized by an unseen enemy, I realized that  I was left grossly unprepared for the what I was about to endure. That is how it overcomes you...it creeps in and makes a home, speaking its fear and lies and evil until it takes over, blackness worming its way even into the things we once loved and held so dear. It was as if the very atmosphere around me was trying to draw me into the darkness. That is when I felt a hand grab my ankle, slowly tightening it's grip and then another hand on the opposite ankle. The same darkess that was growling and choking the very air from my lungs was trying to overtake my body. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I closed my eyes and uttered a silent prayer to die before this darkness took hold of my soul. The darkness was getting thicker by the second and I tried to concentrate…tried to remember what to do…then I heard evil laughter…the air smelled of smoke and must, I knew it was going to smother me.  I was choking, trying to find fresh air. I tried to jerk away but the smoke was burning my lungs, I couldn’t breathe and my mind began to feel fuzzy. I could feel myself fading.  My heartbeat was thundering in my ears as it started to slow with my breathing.  Each breath I tried to suck in burned and scorched its way down my throat.  I wanted to give up, and I was so tired.  I could feel the presence of the darkness.  I could hear the dark whispers urging me to give up. I felt the full onslaught of fury coming at me from all sides now. I knew that once I let one ounce of doubt enter my mind, that would be it's way in…from there it would invade my mind slowly, like a cancer, spreading and metastasizing until it consumed my soul…through fear.  I felt the chill in the air as the temperature began to plummet around me, but I didn’t let it deter my concentration.   I wanted to open my eyes but I knew if I did, my mind would lose its control over the absolute terror that was threatening to destroy me. I wanted to scream as I started to feel suffocated from both the smell of smoke and the whispers that were threatening to take my sanity.  I wanted to scream until my throat was numb, I wanted to break away from it all and not believe this was the only way, but I couldn’t.  I didn’t want any part of this life of fear, darkness and danger…but, I knew if I gave up it would be over.  I needed to finish this, no matter how long it took. I felt the piercing at all points around me now…and I could feel the darkness in its fury wrapping around me.  I was struggling against the pain, trying to force my mind to block out the fear and breathe. I didn't want to believe this was real...it couldn't be real could it? I tried to tell myself not to panic…it wasn’t real…it couldn’t be real. We're vulnerable at night because we are not in control; sleep is an in-between quasi-spiritual state. That is what I kept telling myself anyway. I was asleep...that had to be it.  I tried to pinch myself, but still couldn't move. I found out that night how thin the veil is between our world and theirs.  I knew at that moment I had absolutely no doubts that the devil exists and this being that was in the room with me was unquestionably real. At the same time the thoughts were formed in my head, I heard laughter again...evil, sadistic laughter, followed by 5 words. "You...are going...to die." My body began rebelling against me, trying to shut down completely.  My breathing was becoming more and more labored, my senses took over and all I could smell now was what I can only describe as rotting flesh, sulfur, must and smoke.  Shrill screams were echoing in my ears along with my heartbeat and the fingers I could feel wrapped around my throat began squeezing tighter.  I knew this was my last chance...with everything I had in me I have to move, or scream...something...I was not ready to die. I was barely able to get a choked whisper out..."Help me."  The attack momentarily ceased but resumed with worse force just moments later. Suddenly, I felt a pushing sensation, as if something was trying to push me off my bed. That was followed by the sensation of being punched and scratched. I started to pray silently again...slowly a sliver of light pierced the darkness...just enough to allow me to see the dark figures around my bed...slowly tilting their heads like the were studying me...the glow of the red eyes that were piercing my soul. I did the only thing I could think of...I began trying to rationalize my fear..."I'm dreaming...that's it...I need to wake myself up." But what could I do while I was paralyzed? I felt myself fading...they were winning...I was going to die...  

Then, as suddenly as it began 'it' left, temporarily. I was released...I was finally able to draw in a full breath. That is when my mother opened my bedroom door and immediately my body was released and I could move.  I was trembling...but too overwhelmed to speak. "Are you okay?"  My mother asked.  All I could do was shake my head.  She could tell I was not alright and she knew better than anyone that I was not susceptible to outside influences. However, she was convinced I was dreaming. I knew that was not the case.  I knew I had just endured one of many terrifying battles for my life and my soul.  It wasn't done with me...it would be back. My mother never saw the scratches, the bruises, or the handprints that were left on my body after that first night as a results of the attacks...and part of me knew she never could.  I didn't want to expose her to the hell I had suffered because I knew if I did, they would come after her too. I knew they were real and my horror was just beginning.

The following was taken from a post on Reddit that has since-been deleted. The person who posted it, username: darkdaysdawning666, also deleted their account shortly after taking the post down. It read like this:

“Have you ever wondered what your purpose is or what your most meaningful impact on the world will be? Many of us struggle through life trying to find something we’re passionate about and in the end we come up empty handed. Well, what if I told you there is a way to know who you are in the world without all of that struggle? What if I told you that you could have every question about yourself answered? That’s exactly what you’ll get should you perform The Blood Rose ritual. You’ll get a full hour to ask as many questions as you choose about yourself and your impact on those around you. Whether it be a question about the past, present or even the future is up to you. Or maybe you’d just like a really good scare. Interested? Then simply follow these steps:

First, make sure you have a room and all the supplies needed to perform the ritual. You will need a mirror, four candles, a white rose, a lot of salt, and something to prick your finger with. Got all of that? Good. Now, you’ll need a site for the ritual. Pick the darkest room in your house. Basements have proven to work best, but as long as the room is very dark, you’ll be fine. Found your ritual site? Great, now for set-up. Begin setup at 2:45am and make sure you are ready to go by 3:00am or you will miss your chance to perform the ritual. Prop the mirror up in the center of the room and lay out a thick line of salt around it. The four candles should be in the four corners of the room. They will be the only source of light so make sure they can't accidentally get blown out.

All set up? Once you're ready, light the candles and turn off the lights. Prick your finger and let at least one drop of blood drop down onto the rose. Don’t cut yourself too deep, you’ll only need one drop. Look into the eyes of your reflection in the mirror. The ritual has now begun. Wait until you feel the feeling of unease slowly creep up your spine, then say these words aloud:

‘I wish to see the evil one that dwells within us all, if it sees fit to take my soul, I'll gladly risk it all’

        As soon as you finish, toss the rose to the floor in front of the mirror. When you look back, you will see a black silhouette of your reflection. At first it will seem like a trick of the light, but you will soon realize that the figure in the mirror is not moving in the same way you are anymore. Now’s your chance to ask your questions. Keep them as specific as possible. The creature before you will attempt to be as vague as possible in an attempt to get you to waste away the hour. 

WARNING: If you have depression or anxiety or even if you are just in a bad mood on the day of the ritual, abort. Do not go through with the ritual. The answers you get will not necessarily be what you want to hear. You may come to find that you’ve already made the biggest impact you’ll ever make on the world and that your life from here on out is meaningless. Many people have taken their own lives over this ritual. However, you may find that you have a lot to look forward to and, if you ask the creature, it will tell you how to get to that point in your life. Just make sure to end the ritual at 4:00am on the dot. A second later, and… well, you’ll be careful... won’t you?”

I’m sorry for how quick I’m jumping into this but I don’t have much time. When I woke up this morning...or it could be night. There’s no sense of time here. For all I know, I’ve been here for days. Like I was saying, I woke up here in this...place. I have no clue where I am. I just know that this might be my one chance at...well, I…I don’t even know. And the whispering… it just won’t stop. I guess this is a warning, although I don’t know how you would avoid this happening to you. All I can tell you is what’s happening to me.

I woke up lying face down on a cold metal table in a strange room. The first thing I noticed about the room was how eerily clean it was. The walls and floors were a matching shade of white that flowed together so perfectly that it was hard to tell where the floor stopped and where the walls began. In fact, the only reason I could tell the room wasn’t round was that I could see a table up against the far wall with a wide array of surgical tools. There were no windows, as far as I could tell. I could hear a subtle electrical hum and the occasional high-pitched beep of what I assumed was some kind of monitoring system.

“Is this a hospital?” I thought to myself, “Did I get into some kind of accident?”

Not even a minute after I had woken up, I could hear footsteps echoing just outside the room behind me where I assumed the door was. Sure enough, I heard it open and could hear three distinct voices enter the room.

Now you know that feeling you get when you wake up in the middle of the night and feel like something is watching you, just waiting for you to wake up? You know, when you get the urge to pretend you’re asleep and don’t dare move? This was my reality. I didn’t know why I woke up in that room, but I knew that this was no hospital and these men were not doctors. I don’t know how, but I just knew something wasn’t right. So I pretended to be out cold. I just wanted it all to be a dream. I wanted this all to be a really bad dream.

As I lay there pretending to be unconscious, I could hear them mumbling to each other. This unnerved me. Do they know I’m awake?

I tried to steady my breathing as one of the men walked closer. I felt a cold, wet sensation on the back of my neck and recognized it as one of those little alcohol pads. Before I could put 2 and 2 together, the needle pierced my skin and the thick coarse liquid made it’s way into my bloodstream. I couldn’t hold it together anymore. My whole body seized up. It felt like they had injected me with cyanide. Every muscle in my body was convulsing. I felt my back bend back way further than it should’ve been capable of bending. I remember trying to scream but being in too much pain to do anything but squirm. The pain kept increasing until finally my body grew very stiff and I found myself unable to move. Though I’d lost my ability to move, the pain started to slowly subside.

“Alright, we’ve seen enough, Doctor. Proceed to ‘Phase 2’” a woman’s voice said over an intercom system. Still unable to move, I felt that same cold, wet sensation again.

“We’re cleared to administer the sedative, Doc” said one of the men in the room. I felt another needle pierce the back of my neck.

 What the fuck is happening to me? I remember thinking as the world slowly faded away.

----

I awoke sometime later in complete darkness, gasping for air. My body was extremely sore all over from the stress and trauma it had just went through. My back still felt like it was being bent backwards and my head was throbbing in response to the pain. In all honesty, I was surprised to still be alive. I knew I was going to die if I stayed there.

Just then, the lights flipped on in a blinding flash. I could hear footsteps and voices outside the door. When I tried to move, I realized I was strapped down to the table this time and my attempts of breaking free only made the throbbing in my head worse. So, I lay there, ready to accept my fate. I say that now like I had courage. Ha.

When the door opened, I once again pretended to be asleep. I hadn’t seen the men before, as I was facing the other direction, and I didn’t want to this time. It’s funny how we can give ourselves a false sense of security by pretending to be unaware of danger. Even during in most dangerous circumstances. This time though, it gave me more than security.

Two men entered the room this time. As scared as I was, curiousity got the better of me. I snuck a quick peek. They both were wearing white lab coats. One looked to be in his mid-twenties and was writing something down on a clipboard and the other, a much older man, was preparing a syringe. The size of the needle made me sick.

Was that what they stuck me with earlier?! I quickly shut my eyes and went back to the safety of pretending to be unaware as they both began to approach the table.

“I’m still not sure about all of this. This wasn’t exactly in my job description. I didn’t go to med school for this.” said the man with the clipboard.

“None of us did. Better them than us. Here, why don’t you inject this one? He seems to be well sedated unlike the others. And don’t worry, eventually it gets easier. The money makes it worth it.” said the man with the syringe. “Now I’ll undo the restraints so we can turn him over. Remember, we need to get this done quickly and prepare the specimen before the observation team arrives.”

The men were standing on either side of the table. As soon as the restraints came off I grabbed for the first thing I could, which happened to be the younger man’s shirt collar. I yanked him down in an effort to pull myself up sending him falling into the table. The older man let out a cry as the needle plunged into his gut. He pulled it out as quickly as possible and immediately ran from the room screaming for help. He tried to run at least. He ended up knocking over a table on his way out, littering the floor with surgical equipment and empty syringes. 

My body was on fire. My head felt like it might explode from the sudden shift in movement. Just then, the younger man tackled me to the ground. As I hit the floor, my leg was impaled by some kind of scissor-looking tool. I screamed in pain. He was attempting to put me in a sleeper hold and I was slowly losing the will to fight. At the last second my hand found an empty syringe and I stabbed at his head as hard as I possibly could. It wasn’t hard enough to kill him as he screamed like I had never heard a man scream before in my life. The syringe had stabbed him through his eye and out through the side of his face. He was on the ground writhing in pain. I left him there and ran out of the room.

Down the hallway I could see the older man convulsing and bending in ways that shouldn’t have been humanly possible. Then the creepiest thing possible happened. He turned and looked at my dead in the eyes. His face of pain slowly turned into a grin that stretched from ear to ear. I turned and ran, seeing an elevator at the end of the hall. When I turned to look behind me I saw the man crawling along the walls chasing after me. Tears instantly filled my eyes. I’d never been so scared in my life. I reached the elevator and quickly hit a few buttons at random then smashed the “close door” button. Just as I thought my life was over, the younger man let out another shriek of pain. My grinning fiend immediately turned around and ran back the other way towards the old room as the elevator doors closed.

When the elevator opened, I quickly made my way down another hall checking every door to see if one was unlocked. That’s how I ended up here, in this room. I found this computer on and I’m hoping to get this out to someone...anyone. I’m hearing whispers now. It’s like a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I don’t know who these people are or what they were testing on me, but it’s not right. ...It’s not right. The worst part is I don’t know why I’m here or why they wanted me. Maybe I was a good candidate for whatever the fuck they are messing with. Maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll never know the truth. So I guess this is a warning, or a message, whatever you want to call it. ….The whispers are getting louder now.