#mpho504

This project has been very stressful and interesting for me. I started out with the idea of using fashion photography to talk about mental health issues. It came to my senses that this was really difficult. So i decided to use the language of fashion to talk about mental health in portraiture. The process of writing poetry has been magnificent for me. I had some black periods during this project of self doubt, lack of ideas and reluctant to make work. I was prepared to lose it all and felt like i built a ship to wreck. I thought that i had peaked in terms of my ideas and work and would never make anything special again. I am very hard on myself and self critical- i will never settle for work that is satisfactory or familiar. I always want to be different and do not want to cross territory that follows an artist’s work. The poetry is very instant for me- words to paper. From this i create visual imagery, which helps with my plans for future photo-shoots. However, during this project it was the other way around. I made the photos and then created the poems.

My final photos represent the state that i am currently in. the project is a reflection of the way i see the fashion/advertising world through my eyes. I see as something dark, an illusion perhaps. I think i captured this well with the use of logos in my work. I’ve printed the poetry out onto normal paper and stuck it onto sketchbook paper. I’ve made changes to them as the poems grew on. And then i realised that this is what the project is about- change. I am currently changing and so is the work. It’s an organic process which says that your current state is not your final destination. Therefore, i have decided to name my project ‘In Bloom’. The project is unfinished, which is something i’ve never done before. usually , i define a project for what it is. However, this project is like an unfinished painting, in which i need to fill in all the dark patches. A lot of people like myself have turned to substances to cope with mental health. This is why i have included imagery of prescription packets, alcohol bottle and smoking packs. I wanted to combine the clean portraits with the grittiness of the substances. It’s sort of like this yin yang experience, which is what one of the poems is called. I’ve printed the 6 photos on A1 paper and the poems are on A3.

I really loved the salt print workshop and was going to have salt prints as a submission. However, i would have to buy the chemicals and i didn’t have enough time to print them. I wanted the images to have a gritty feel, but i’ll probably save this for a future project. Instead i went to a photocopying office and got A1 size posters. I was either going to have small, intimate prints or large, dominating prints. I’m still pleased with the A1 images. I think they’ll look great in the exhibition.

I was really inspired by the lectures about methodology. I never thought about putting an image into a context like that, in fact it makes it a hell lot easier to analyse. I think it’s really interesting to discuss different theories with each other and draw in aspects of philosophy, morality, ethics and politics.